Chapter 9
River pushed her food around her plate with her fork. Across the table from her Willow had an expression of concern on her face.
“Friend, I get the impression that something might be wrong,” Willow said, keeping her tone even.
“What do you mean?” River asked.
Willow was obviously right. Everything in her life was wrong, starting with Brianna giving her the cold shoulder. She should have known that kissing Brianna would have long term consequences. Unfortunately, her mind hadn’t been focused on potential problems at the time.
“River, come on. What happened?”
River sighed and buried her face in her hands.
“I told Brianna that I wanted to kiss her. And that I was developing feelings for her,” River moaned.
“I’m sorry, what?” Willow managed to choke out.
Mel was waiting on tables nearby, and River was hoping she hadn’t heard the disruption.
“Willow. Quiet down. Your girlfriend is Brianna’s best friend for crying out loud. I don’t need any extra trouble.”
“I’m sure she already knows,” Willow smirked.
“You’re probably right.”
“What happened?”
“I had invited Tiff over for a date. And things started out okay. Then she had to go out to wine and dine a client.”
“Tiff is the worst. Am I allowed to say that?”
“Willow,” River moaned.
Willow’s apparent dislike for Tiff was not what River needed in this moment.
“I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking. She’s not great. But please keep going.”
River shot Willow a death stare. She could only hope her friend would take the hint.
“Anyway, Tiff was gone, and Brianna got home. We were on the couch together. She’s just been taking such good care of me since the accident. And I don’t know. I suddenly wanted her to know what I was feeling for her.”
“I’m guessing that didn’t go well,” Willow smiled.
“It did not.”
“What happened?”
“Brianna told me she was feeling the same way. But when I said I wasn’t ready to let go of what I have with Tiff she got up and went to bed. We haven’t had an actual conversation since then.”
“Oh, ouch.”
Willow’s face turned into a grimace.
“I can’t say I blame her, though,” Willow admitted.
“Whose side are you on?” River asked.
“Yours. I’m always on your side. Which is why you choosing a woman who is actively putting her energy other places doesn’t make sense. As your friend it has been painful to watch. You deserve better. You deserve Brianna-level of attention from a partner.”
“Willow, it’s been awful. But do I deserve it? I mean maybe I shouldn’t have told her. Especially while I’m dating someone else.”
“No, that was definitely a lapse on your part. I think the real question is, what are you going to do about it now?”
“That’s what you’re here to tell me,” River laughed.
“Oh no. I’m here to listen and maybe make some directional suggestions. But I’m not here to tell you what to do.”
“You sure you don’t want to give it a try? You love being bossy,” River suggested.
River needed to force herself to be silly for a moment, otherwise, she was going to start crying.
“I think the first step is figuring out how you feel about Tiff. There are obviously things you’re unhappy about there, otherwise you wouldn’t be developing feelings for Brianna.”
“You’re right. I need to have a conversation with Tiff, too.”
“The next thing you need to do is figure out how you feel about Brianna. Is this a crush? Are you feeling extra emotional because of the accident and her helping you through it? Do you think these feelings are temporary? Because if this is a simple crush, that’s not fair to Brianna.”
“I don’t know,” River admitted.
“I don’t think I ever had a reason to analyze what kind of partner Brianna would be until now. I certainly never compared her and Tiff. But since the accident there’s no way of denying that one of them has shown up for me, and the other hasn’t. It’s been a hard pill to swallow that my girlfriend is basically MIA while I’m recovering.”
“Does Tiff know about the feelings you’re developing for Brianna?”
“No. She’s been so busy trying to land this client that I haven’t spent much time with her.”
“I know it’s hard but the next time you talk to her there needs to be a serious conversation between the two of you. In the meantime, handle things with Brianna. She’s too good of a friend to allow her to get caught up in any emotional crossfire.”
River nodded her head. Willow had hit the nail on the head. Brianna was too good of a friend to be jerked around. She’d likely already hurt Brianna, a thought which threatened to truly break her heart.
“Hey. How’s my favorite girlfriend doing?” Mel asked, walking up to their table.
River was grateful that Willow dropped their current conversation in favor of flirting with Mel.
“I’m your only girlfriend,” Willow smirked.
“Which automatically makes you my favorite,” Mel teased.
Mel met River’s eyes and offered a smile.
“How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good. I get my casts off soon. Then the real healing can begin.”
River had spent weeks fantasizing about getting her casts removed. She could finally start physical therapy. She’d be able to do some light exercises. Quite frankly, River couldn’t wait.
“I’m sure you’re more than ready. Brianna told me you’ve been pretty stir crazy.”
River tried to keep her face neutral. A glance at Willow told her that their secret was about to get out. Willow was notorious for her lack of poker face, and her inability to lie. Mel caught Willow’s expression and opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of it.
“I don’t know what the two of you are up to, but it’s been a long day. We can talk about it when I get home,” Mel leaned in and gave Willow a kiss on the lips. She shot River a warm smile.
River could handle Mel knowing what was going on, so long as she didn’t have to tell her about it. Willow seemed equally grateful.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Willow laughed.
“Before I do any more damage?” River teased.
“I would hardly accuse you of doing any damage. You just need to have an uncomfortable conversation.”
River sighed and nodded. The ride back to her home was fairly quiet. Her heart sped to an impossible rhythm when she saw Brianna’s car in the lot. Brianna had gone into the office today. River had expected to have a few hours to prepare for the conversation they needed to have. That didn’t seem to be in the cards. She took a deep breath and followed Willow to the front door. Willow had been kind enough to handle the locking and unlocking of her front door.
“Good luck, friend,” Willow smiled.
“You’re not coming inside?” River asked in a sudden panic.
“River, you’ve got this. It’s Brianna. Just talk to her.”
River made a little moan and stuck out her lower lip. Willow handed her back her house keys. She leaned in and gave River a tiny kiss on the cheek before pointing at the front door.
“Putting it off isn’t going to make it any easier.”
River sighed, she knew Willow was right. But that didn’t make the moment any less difficult. Brianna sat on the couch watching TV. River’s mind travelled back to the night of their last talk. That had been a disaster, but River hoped she could course correct now.
“Hey,” River said with a smile.
“Hey,” Brianna answered back.
“I thought you were working from the office today?” River asked. She slowly walked closer to the living room.
“That was my plan. But honestly, you and I need to talk. So, I came home.”
The thought struck River that Brianna was the type who would always come home. Brianna would always work things through. River was embarrassed, why hadn’t she realized that sooner.
“I’m glad you did. I want to talk to you, too.”