Chapter 10
Brianna sat listening as River explained her side of their encounter. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around River. But that couldn’t happen. Not the way things were between them now.
“I care about you so much. I never meant to cross any lines with you,” River said.
“But you have developed feelings for me?” Brianna asked.
“Yes. I mean how could I not? I think if I’m honest I’ve always had feelings for you. But we lived together.”
“And have a girlfriend,” Brianna added.
“Exactly. Stepping over that line always felt too risky.”
“How about now?”
Brianna tried to not hold her breath. She needed to be okay with whatever River was about to say. Unfortunately, her heart wouldn’t tell her lies. Brianna knew she was invested, past the point that she should be.
“I’ve thought about that for the past two weeks. Tiff and I have been in a stable, committed relationship. And up until the accident I thought things were okay. And now, there’s no way I can pretend that you haven’t shown up for me in a vastly more significant way than she has.”
“It’s good to hear you say those things. I appreciate the acknowledgement. I’m just wondering what that means for the two of us moving forward?”
“We’ve talked a lot about my side of things. I think before I go any further, I want to hear what your thoughts are on everything.”
Brianna sighed loudly and locked eyes with River. She loved the deep brown of River’s eyes. But she was torn. There was no way around the fact that things were up in the air. Brianna shook her head, her eyes made friends with the floor.
“I think we both can agree that there are a lot of moving pieces to this. One big moving piece is Tiff. I like you. I like you a lot, River. And nothing would make me happier than seeing where this thing between us could go. But with you already involved, that’s a line I’m not willing to cross. I need to know where you stand with Tiff and with me.”
Brianna watched River’s face fall. She knew the answer before River opened her mouth, but she listened anyway.
“Tiff and I have been together for a little over nine months now. Recently, things haven’t been great. But that hasn’t always been the case. Tiff and I have been happy together. I feel like I owe her a conversation, and a chance to change course before I break up with her.”
Brianna released the breath she’d been holding. There was something oddly settling about having an answer.
“So, you want us to go back to being friends?”
River rubbed her face with a hand. She pinned Brianna with a stare. There was no mistaking the expression of sadness on her face.
“I think we have to. I should at least try to work things out with Tiff. Give her a chance to change before I simply write her off.”
“If that’s what you think is best,” Brianna kept her tone even. The last thing Brianna wanted was to betray her own disappointment to River.
“I think that’s what I need to do. Do you think we can go back to being friends?” River asked.
“Of course.”
Brianna managed a smile, even though on the inside she wanted to run away.
“I thought maybe you and I could hangout tonight. Get back to things being normal between us,” River suggested.
Brianna didn’t have enough energy for a proper answer, instead, she nodded her head.
“Great. That’s great. I’m so excited to spend some time together. Not being able to hang out with you has been hard.”
Brianna smiled genuinely at that. Not being able to hang out with River had been hard on her, too. Maybe they were just meant to be friends. Brianna could do this.
“What time do you want to go out?” Brianna asked.
“Let’s head out around seven. If that works for you?”
“Seven sounds great. I’m going to go run a few errands before then.”
Brianna offered River a smile so wide that it made her face hurt.
“Great. I’ll see you around seven.”
Brianna rose from the couch. She grabbed her keys and headed for the door. Her interaction with River hadn’t been as smooth as she was used to. She could only hope they’d get their friendship mojo back with time. Her next stop was WaterColor Krav Maga. She knew that Jordan would be taking the next class. Brianna had never needed to punch something more than in this moment.
Jordan was stretching on the mat when Brianna arrived. She glanced up in surprise but smiled widely at her.
“Allison told me that you were going to have your talk with River today. So I wasn’t expecting to see you today. Did you and River get to talk?”
Brianna felt as though her heart was tightening in her chest. It felt like the mention of River had put her heart in a vice. She forced a smile.
“We talked,” Brianna said simply.
“That bad, huh?” Jordan asked.
There was no sense of judgment in Jordan’s question. She knew her new friend was simply making the observation.
“It wasn’t great,” Brianna admitted. The corners of her mouth lifted in a more authentic smile. At the very least, Jordan cared enough to ask.
“What happened?”
“She wants to talk to her girlfriend and give her another chance to make changes.”
Brianna couldn’t keep the note of sadness from creeping into her voice. Jordan seemed unbothered by the news.
“At least now you know where you stand with her. Do you think the two of you are going to stay friends?” Jordan asked.
“I think so. We’re meeting up for dinner tonight.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“I’m conflicted,” Brianna admitted.
“That makes sense to me. There’s no easy way to make that transition,” Jordan suggested.
“Exactly. Plus, River has someone to fall back on. For me, I’m alone.”
“I wouldn’t say alone. You have great friends. But I understand. There’s only so much a friend can do for you. It’s nice to have a romantic partner.”
“Yeah. I think it will take time for me. Especially now that I know the feelings were reciprocated.”
“If it’s reciprocated you never know what might happen down the line. She and Tiff could break up in the future.”
“They might. But I’m not sure that would change anything for me. I’m hurt now, and that might follow me for a while.”
Jordan shrugged her shoulders and stretched.
“You’ll figure out what works best for you.”
“What are we figuring out?”
Brianna turned and saw Logan, the head instructor standing behind them. Logan had long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She had an intensity that was evident both on the mat and off.
“Brianna found herself in a bit of messed up situation with her roommate,” Jordan offered.
“Messed up as in dangerous? Or messed up in a different way?”
Brianna smiled. It was nice to see that Logan’s concern for personal safety extended outside of the Krav Maga gym.
“Messed up like she told me that she has feelings for me. But she also has a girlfriend. So, there’s no way to act on those feelings.”
“That sounds really hard,” Logan offered.
Jordan ran off to use the restroom before class, but she threw a smile over her shoulder at Brianna. She could just make out Jordan mouthing the words ask her out , as she ran. Brianna would have shaken her head, but Logan was standing right in front of her. Brianna let her eyes wander over Logan’s body in a controlled way. The woman was fit with muscular arms and legs. It was obvious that Logan took great care of herself. Tonight, her long hair was pinned up in Viking braids. It gave Logan the appearance of being doubly tough. The best way to get over someone was to find someone new. Or so Brianna had been told.
“It was really hard. But I’m trying to just focus on moving past it.”
“Do you have anyone else that you’re seeing?” Logan asked.
Logan’s eyes skimmed Brianna as well. It was enough to let Brianna know that the interest was mutual.
“I don’t have anyone in my life. Not even on a casual basis. But I would like to meet someone,” Brianna offered.
“Well, if you’re interested, I’d love to meet up with you for coffee or dinner sometime soon.”
Brianna had to hand it to her, Logan was direct if nothing else. She marveled at the woman. It would have taken her longer to work up the courage to ask someone out.
“Like on a date?” Brianna asked. She was pretty sure about Logan’s meaning, but she wanted to be positive.
“Exactly like a date,” Logan chuckled.
Briannna experienced a moment’s hesitation. Was it right for her to jump back into the dating pool so quickly after her experience with River? One glance inside Logan’s eyes told Brianna to reciprocate Logan’s move.
“I would love to,” Brianna smiled.
“In that case I’m free tomorrow night. Does that work for you?” Logan grinned.
“I am. And I would love to go with you.”
“Great, give me your number and I’ll text you about plans after class.”
Brianna’s smile broadened. It had been a while since she’d been legitimately flirted with. Let alone by a woman that was jaw clenchingly gorgeous.
“Sounds like a plan.”
She exchanged one more smile with Logan. Logan made her way to the center of the mat to start class. Brianna searched the room until her eyes landed on Jordan. The woman sent her a thumbs up and a big smile. Brianna felt the tension in her chest ease a bit. Things didn’t seem quite as bad as they had before.