11 | Samaj
A couple of days after Simone left my house, it hit me that she had seen me at one of my lowest points.
Something I’d been struggling with—something I’d been too ashamed to share with anybody—she now knew.
And strangely enough I was okay with that.
As a man, especially a Black man, there are certain things we’re taught to just take on the chin.
We pushed past our feeling. Stay quiet about our fears.
Society expects us to be strong at all times, even when we’re falling apart internally. ”
From what I could tell my parents were still not on the best terms, but I wasn’t about to let anyone mess up my big day. I was graduating, and I’d been looking forward to this moment for the longest so friends or foes, they were going to have to suck it up and get along.
I had to be at the arena early, so I was getting dressed when I got a text.
My Peace: Breakfast on me this morning. Congratulations! I can’t wait to celebrate with you.
Under the text was a screenshot of my front door and what appeared to be a delivery from DoorDash.
I couldn’t hide the smile that spread across my face even if I wanted to. I went to the door to retrieve my food before replying.
Me: Appreciate it baby. I can’t wait to see you later.
Graduation day felt surreal. The ceremony dragged on way too long, and I couldn’t wait to get it over, but I was proud of both Kadeem and me.
“WE DID IT, BOY! Kadeem yelled like he was at a football games, pulling me into one of those aggressive bro hugs that nearly cracked my ribs.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Relax, man,” I groaned, laughing despite myself. “My spine still needs to function.”
“My bad!” He said, but he didn’t look the least bit sorry.
I shook my head, grinning. That’s when I noticed a tall, dark-skinned man standing nearby. Gray tailored suit. Dark shades. Arms crossed. He wasn’t smiling. Just watching.
“That’s my brother, Mo.” Kadeem said following my gaze.
I gave him a slight nod. He tipped his chin back at me. His whole demeanor screamed, guarded and cold. Definitely not someone who trusted easily.
“Where’s your parents?” The question seemed to dim his excitement a little.
“They couldn’t make it.”
I didn’t press for details. I just stepped forward and pulled him into another hug. “As long as they know, their baby boy did the damn thing and got his degree!”
“Yes sir! We need to go out and celebrate tonight.” He wiggled his eyebrows like he was plotting the greatest night of the century.
“Lounge. Drinks. Vibessss.”
“You know I don’t do lounges, and I don’t drink,” I said flatly.
He threw his arm around my shoulder anyway.
“You do tonight! One drink. ONE. I’ll even let you pick the shot.”
I sighed, slapping his hand away. “Fine. One shot. Then I’m out.”
“Let me hit up the group chat and let everybody know. “Mr. ‘I-don’t-go-outside’ is stepping OUTSIDE!” He yelled.
Simone walked over to me with a big smile on her face.
“So, I heard you’re going out tonight?”
“Yeah, we’re going out,” I said, pointing between the two of us. “For about an hour and only one shot. That’s it.”
She smiled, soft and proud. “I’m down. It’ll be fun and you deserve to celebrate.”
To my surprise, the lounge wasn’t some chaotic run-down spot. It was modern with soft neon lights, R someone you could tell he was familiar with and close to.
With everything happening around us, it still felt like Simone, and I were in our own world.
She was tucked under my arm, smiling at everything, her nose scrunched in that way that always gets me.
Clubs and lounges weren’t really her thing either, but she knew how to have a good time without killing the vibe.
A few minutes later the DJ played ‘When I see you’ by Fantasia and all the women including Simone went crazy.
They sang every word at the top of their lungs, and before long, the guys and I joined in too.
I don’t know what it is about R&B songs from the 90s and early 2000s, but those songs hit different, even our generation couldn’t deny it.
Our entire section was turned up. With Simone’s back pressed against my chest, my hands settled around her waist like they’d been waiting their whole life for this moment. We moved together easily and naturally. Chemistry on a thousand.
Our friend group was starting to feel more and more like family and this moment would be one I’d hold close and replay in my head long after the music stopped.
The drinks came soon after and Kadeem handed us all a shot. “To the future,” he yelled.
“To the future,” we all echoed.
I threw it back and then leaned over to Simone.
“You ready to go?” I asked.
She nodded immediately. “Yea.”
We drove in comfortable silence, with the windows cracked just enough for the cool night air to drift through the car.
The beach was mostly empty, just waves rolling in slow and steady.
We sat in the car talking for several minutes about graduation, the future, and her dream of having a nonprofit called ‘Peace and Promise’
“How did you come up with the name?”
“My mom’s maiden name is Peace and growing up seeing her passion for helping people inspired me so much that I made a promise to God that I wouldn’t live my life selfishly.
My mom did a lot of good while she was alive, and I want to take the seeds she planted in my me and grow them into something that changes as many lives as possible.
I want to focus on providing shelters, food banks, emergency housing, mental health programs, and counseling.
Taking all of those things into consideration, the name came to me like an epiphany one day. ”
I could listen to her talk all day. The more she spoke, the more I admired her.
Then she got quiet.
Too quiet.
I turned to her. “Everything Ok? What’s wrong?”
She wouldn’t look at me. Her fingers twisted together in her lap.
Her voice came out almost a whisper.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
My stomach dropped. “Okay… what is it?”
“I’ve been trying to find the right time, and honestly this may not even be the right time, but it’s been weighing heavy on me…”
“Baby just tell me.”
“Can you promise me you won’t get mad?” She asked, nervously, which immediately made me nervous too. I had no clue what she could possibly be revealing.
“I don’t want to make a promise unless I know I can keep it, but I’ll try. Can you tell me now?”
“It’s about your parents.”
Instant tension locked up my shoulders. “What about them?”
She swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper.
“My GiGi… she told me something. That she knew your parents. That… your dad might not be your biological father.”
My ears started ringing. For a second, I forgot how to breathe. “What? What are you talking about?” I finally croaked.
She kept talking, trying to explain, trying to walk me through what she heard but everything after that first sentence blurred into static.
Something inside me snapped. Not rage. Not even heartbreak. Just… hurt. Deep, disorienting hurt.
I opened the door and stepped out slamming it. I needed air. Needed space. Needed something to stop myself from completely losing it. I wanted to keep my promise and not get upset, but I was beyond upset.
Why didn’t she tell me sooner? Why did she wait until now when everything finally felt stable? The night of my graduation? Why did I have to hear something like that from her, and not my own parents?
After a few minutes I climbed back in the car. She looked terrified. Eyes glossy. Hands trembling.
“Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?” My voice cracked.
“Why would you… sit on something like that? You sat there and had dinner with my parents knowing what you know and had me in the dark all this time? After all I’ve shared with you?”
“I didn’t want to hurt you—”
“Well, too late!” I said, louder than I meant to.
She flinched, and it made me dial my tone back.
I felt myself spiraling, anger mixed with betrayal, hurt twisting into something I didn’t want to show her.
“I can’t do this right now,” I said, gripping the wheel.
The drive felt endless.
When I pulled up to her house, she reached for my arm.
“Samaj—”
“Get out,” I snapped.
Her eyes filled instantly, tears spilling before she could wipe them away.
“Please… can we just talk—”
“Not right now, Simone.” My voice shook with the effort to keep myself contained. “Just…get out please.”
She hesitated, lip trembling, then opened the door slowly. The second she stepped out, I saw her shoulders start shaking. Then I heard her crying.