21 | Samaj #4
“By the way I’m Samaj, what’s your name?”
“Elijah.”
I laughed softly, shaking my head. “Word? I was just reading about the Prophet Elijah in the bible last night. You know about him?” “A little but not gon lie it’s been a minute since I picked up my bible.”
“I just started reading mine not too long ago so no judgement. I think we just get caught up with life that we put reading our bible or seeking God on the back burner but if I’m honest with you, I wish I would’ve started sooner.”
As we walked, he told me bits and pieces of his story, how things had gone left, how one bad decision turned into another, how pain had a way of piling up when you didn’t know where to lay it down.
I listened more than I talked. Sometimes that’s all people really want: to be seen, to be heard, to not feel invisible for five minutes.
Inside CVS, I grabbed the strongest over-the-counter pain meds they had. When we stepped back outside, I handed him $100 and told him to get some food once the pain subsided and he had an appetite.
“Thanks man. I really appreciate this. I don’t know where you came from, but maybe God sent you to me.
” He looked down for a moment like he was deep in thought when his eyes landed back on me, he continued talking.
“I needed more than just this money. Those words you spoke to me helped me more than you’ll ever know. ”
I swallowed, my throat tightening. “It’s no problem,” I said quietly. “I’m just glad He saw fit to use me.”
I turned to head back to my car, but after a few steps, I stopped. That same nudge returned, stronger this time. I couldn’t shake it.
“Hey, is it alright if I pray for you?” I almost couldn’t believe the words that left my mouth. This wasn’t like me. I didn’t pray out loud or pray for strangers, but we stood right there on the sidewalk, the city moving around us, and bowed our heads.
“God,” I began, my voice a little shaky at first, “thank You for Elijah. Thank You for keeping him through things that could’ve taken him out.
You see his pain not just the toothache, but the hurt he’s been carrying in his heart and his spirit.
I ask that You bring healing, Lord. Physical healing for his body, but also spiritual healing.
Restore what’s been broken, revive what’s gone dormant. ”
I paused, letting the words settle. My voice grew steadier and stronger as the prayer continued.
“Draw him closer to You. Remind him that he is seen, known, and deeply loved. Guide his steps, protect him on this journey, and give him strength when life feels heavy. Let this be the start of something new, a deeper walk with You, full of hope and purpose. In Jesus’ name, I pray amen. ”
When I looked up, Elijah’s eyes were glossy.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
I nodded, my chest full in a way I couldn’t explain. As I walked back to my car, I realized something had shifted—not just for him, but for me too.
Sometimes, while waiting for God to answer your prayers, He’ll use you to be the answer to someone else’s. Sometimes healing starts with a toothache on the side of the road…and ends up being a mended broken heart.
Work kept me busy throughout the day, but I still managed to keep my spirit fed by playing Worship and Christian Hip Hop music while working, taking moments to pause and pray or reflect.
By day two, I also walked in more discipline. When I was home, I put my phone away completely after getting sidetracked a couple of times yesterday with mindless scrolling on TikTok or day trading.
I spent hours at home taking notes from the series that I’d been watching and studying my bible. I even ordered a new bible off Amazon because I wanted to physically be able to highlight and read without being on a device.
The book my therapist gave me on fasting was proving to be helpful as well.
By day three, my body stopped fighting me. My mind felt clearer. I was in expectation all day waiting for something to happen.
A prayer to be answered or some huge revelation but nothing happened.
I was a little disappointed because I figured if I didn’t see anything big happen then maybe I didn’t do this fasting thing right and it would’ve been all for nothing, but I felt like God revealed that was just a lie from the enemy, so I stayed the course and finished strong.
I prayed, journaled, sat in silence, and meditated whenever I could and at 6:00 p.m. that evening I decided to take a walk to a nearby Greek restaurant.
When I got back home with my Chicken Shish Kabobs and grilled vegetables on the side I sat on my balcony for an hour. Eating while looking out at the beautiful scenery. One of the reasons I chose this condo was for the large balcony and the city views.
On the eleventh floor I had an incredible view of the city that I don’t think I would ever get tired of looking at.
For what I was paying every month, I’d better come out here and enjoy it.
While sitting there it dawned on me that for the first time in a long time, I was alone, but I didn’t feel lonely.
I didn’t feel overwhelmed, I felt…at peace.
“Thank you, God.”
As I began to pack up my things to head back inside, my phone began to vibrate. I grabbed it off the table, not sure who would be calling me.
“Crossroads Recovery Center?”
I froze after reading the name on the caller ID I took a deep breath and then answered. “Samaj… hey baby, it’s me.”
“Mom? Are you Okay?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, everything is Okay. I’m doing great actually. Did your dad tell you I went to Rehab?”
There was something different in her tone. It was steady. Sober. Clear. I didn’t know how to respond. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest.
“Yeah, he told me. I’m happy you decided to go on your own this time.”
She took a breath. “I should’ve come a lot sooner but I’m happy I finally got the courage to come. It’s been life changing. I’m sober and I’m finding my joy and peace again. I feel like I’m a new person.”
“That’s great mom. I’m happy to hear that,” I sat back down instead of heading inside. “How much longer will you be there?”
“Probably another three months but I can have visitors now.” I could hear the smile in her voice which made me smile in return.
“I guess I need to book a flight then huh.”
“I would love that. We have so much to talk about, but I’d rather talk in person.
I owe you the truth. All of it. The things I’ve hidden…
the things I should’ve told you a long time ago.
” She continued, voice shaking, “I know you’ve tried getting me to talk before you moved away but I want to talk now. I think I’m ready.”
The line went silent. My heart thudded so loud I could barely hear her.
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed. I could feel the tears burning the back of my eyelids fighting to fall down my face.
The timing felt too perfect. Too deliberate.
This was my breakthrough. This was what the fast had been clearing space for.
“I’ll be there next weekend for a friend’s birthday, so I’ll come visit you while I’m in town.”
“Okay baby, I’ll be waiting.”
We talked for another twenty minutes. Not about everything, not yet. But enough to feel like the door had finally cracked open.
When we hung up, I sat quietly, stunned.
Three days of prayer. Three days of discipline and letting God strip things out of me. Three days of surrender…and on night three, He gave me something back. Something I’d been scared to hope for. I didn’t know what seeing her again would bring…but for the first time in a long time… I was hopeful.