Chapter 21
Olive
My head flops back onto the headrest as the vehicle’s motion relaxes me.
Just as promised, the rideshare was waiting for me outside my apartment building exactly one hour after he hung up on me.
Exhaustion still nags at my mind, but getting out with my best friend will hopefully help.
I push down the mounting guilt that he’s paying for me.
If roles were ever reversed, I would do the same for him.
My eyes drift closed until a vibration from my purse rouses me. As I pull out my phone, my eyebrows push together in confusion. I don’t recognize the number, but once again, answer it just in case it’s Benny.
“Hello?”
“Uh, Olive. Hi.”
I’d know that voice anywhere. And it isn’t my brother.
“Nate,” I say on an exhale.
“Yeah…I didn’t think you’d actually answer.” He sounds so unsure of himself. It’s so different than the confident and demanding Nate from a few nights prior that my heartbeat picks up pace.
“Well, I didn’t know it was you.”
His deep chuckle floats through the phone. “Fair enough.”
My finger toys with the zipper on my purse. “How did you get my number?”
His deep voice pulls at my core. “Ah, I cannot reveal my resources. Professional integrity and all that.”
I roll my eyes. I know exactly how he got it. I was just hoping he would confirm. His voice deepens even more to a level that weaves under my skin and sizzles down my body.
“What are you doing right now?” he asks.
My response is instantaneous, as if enchanted by his tone. “Going to dinner with Cade.”
“Where at?”
I mentally shake myself at the question I desperately want to answer—if I’m being honest with myself, it would be in hopes he would show up so I could see him again.
Continuing to talk to him will wear down my resolve more quickly than I would like to admit.
I sigh. Muffled voices and music hit my ear.
Curiosity and what seems like a hint of jealousy at whoever he’s out with settles into my gut. “Where are you?”
“My best friend’s engagement party.” He sounds almost sad.
I scrunch my face in response, even if he can’t see me. “Why the heck are you calling me and not enjoying yourself at the party?”
Silence, then, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
My eyes snap shut, chest aching with emotion. “Nate,” I say in a warning I hope he heeds.
“You prefer I lie to you?”
Sighing, I rub my forehead. “No, Nate.” My body sways as the car stops in front of the restaurant. “I have to go.” I don’t wait for a response when I disconnect the call, even though it pains me to do so. I quickly save his number before thanking the driver and hurrying into the restaurant.
Cade stands right inside the door, looking down at his phone, and doesn’t see me approach. When I’m next to him, I pinch his tricep.
“Ow, what the—” Cade wretches his arm away from me before smiling wide when he sees it’s me. “What a greeting.”
“Cade Wheeler, I have a bone to pick with you.”
He laughs and slings his arm around my shoulder, guiding me to follow the hostess to our table. “I have a feeling I know what this is about.”
Once we’re settled into our seats and give our drink orders to the waitress, I glare at my friend. “Want to tell me why you gave Nate my number?”
Cade shrugs and grins. “Because I think you need someone like him in your life.”
With a huff, I roll my eyes.
He leans forward, a sympathetic smile tugging on my heart. “Olive, I know you want to deny it, but every interaction I’ve had with that man tells me he’s very much into you. And you. You, my love, get this look in your eyes that I’ve never seen.”
I sip my water, not wanting to acknowledge that he could be right.
At least about my feelings. I can’t speak for Nate, but when I think about him, my stomach does some very annoying fluttering somersaults.
It feels different with him than anyone before.
It makes my barriers weak and my heart light.
But fear holds me back. It strangles me when I start to get too happy or excited.
Despite that, there’s a part of me that gets stronger every day that’s tired of living like that.
Tired of being scared and never being brave enough to actually try to have the life I have always dreamed of because I was too occupied caring for Benny.
I would be foolish to deny that something about Nate inspires me to change.
And that’s a little scary in and of itself.
Both of our stares move to my phone when it vibrates on the table.
“You should check that,” Cade says with a teasing lilt.
I give another huff of annoyance but pick up my phone.
Nate: Please let me know when you’re home safe.
Stupid, annoying somersaults.
Cade raises his eyebrows in question.
“It’s nothing,” I lie. It actually feels like a lot.
I’m spared from further grilling for a few moments when the waitress arrives with our drinks and takes our food orders. After she leaves, Cade levels his assessing stare at me once more.
“I’ll let the discussion about Nate end. For now. But I have another question for you.” His eyes turn sympathetic. “How’s Benny doing?”
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. When I open them, Cade is watching me, kindness and concern lining his features. “I don’t know how he is, Cade.” I shake my head sadly. “He’s in rehab, thankfully. But just today, he told me he doesn’t want to stay.”
“Doesn’t want to stay? What does he want to do instead?”
“He wants to do an outpatient program. He doesn’t want to stay in the inpatient facility anymore.”
“And what do you think?”
I rub my chest over my heart to help ease the ache, partially for my brother and partially for myself.
I’m not even sure words could adequately explain how I feel to my best friend.
“I think that I don’t know what else to do.
We’ve been down this road so many times.
” I sniff back my emotion. “I really thought this time would be different, Cade.”
Reaching over the table, he gives a comforting grip on my forearm. “I’m so sorry, Olive. Is there anything I can do to help?”
I swipe a tear that slipped down my cheek. “You’re doing it. I’m so lucky to have you.”
We move on to less emotionally draining topics, and my tense muscles slowly begin to relax as the night progresses.
I’ve taken the same approach to friendships that I have to romantic relationships, which is to proceed with caution because, even as a friend, asking them to support me is a heavy burden for many to carry.
And when I hold back and don’t open up about Benny or other parts of my life, people have accused me of being closed off and that they can’t get to know me.
But with Cade, he never gave me that option.
He barreled into my life and let me know in no uncertain terms that he was going to be my friend, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Some may have seen his behavior as pushy, but for me, it was exactly what I needed.
Left to my own devices, I would have kept my heavily fortified walls intact, so having him give me no option but to dismantle them solidified the friendship.
A genuine smile lifts my lips as I listen to Cade talk about his most recent dating failure and a possible reconnection with an ex he’s head over heels for.
I laugh along with him, even as my mind wanders back to a certain bodyguard.
The easy feeling I have with Cade reminds me of that first night Nate and I spent at dinner together.
Besides being insanely attracted to Nate, that wasn’t the reason I agreed to go back to his hotel room with him.
Being with him felt so effortless, just like it does with Cade.
That alone makes me want to lean into whatever this is with Nate even more.
But it also scares me more than anything except the uncertainty with my brother.
The closer I let Nate get to me, the more it will hurt when it ends.
But…an annoying part of my brain keeps reminding me that maybe because it feels so different with Nate, heartbreak might not be inevitable.
While Cade orders another round of drinks for us, I glance down at my phone and notice another text notification.
Nate: I’m serious, Olive. I need to know you’re safe.
I don’t want him to worry, so I text back.
Me: I’ll let you know.
I set my phone face down on the table and give Cade my full attention. That’s all my battered and bruised soul can handle tonight.