14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Cameron
“So, you’ve chosen the six-mile nature hike, I see,” Tina says as I hand her the paper. “You’re the only ones who’ve chosen the hike so far, so it’ll be nice and quiet. But hopefully you’ll consider joining the rest of us for a meal afterward.” She gives me a knowing look.
I haven’t opted in on the group luncheon yet, having spent the last few hours napping in the cabin. Nila stayed wrapped up in the book she borrowed from Dr. Shadid’s office.
It’s been an uneventful day thus far.
And I’m bored as all get-out.
“There’s trail markers,” Tina explains. “Stick to them and you’ll be fine. The lookout is picturesque, and I think this is a great first exercise for you. Then tomorrow you’ll be kayaking. ”
“Great,” I say, having never kayaked before.
“I love kayaking,” Nila comments, and I can’t hide my surprise. “My grandpa used to take me years ago.”
“Well then.” Tina smiles. “Hopefully, it’ll bring you joy as you make new memories.”
Nila nods eagerly. “I hope so.”
“Have a nice hike,” Tina says before moving on to the next group.
“We really should get to know the others,” Nila comments as soon as we start down the trail. “I think it would be beneficial.”
“Why?” I ask as my hiking boots crunch on the rocky path. “They’re probably already judging me for everything.”
“You act like everyone follows hockey.” Nila shakes her head and steps out in front of me. She’s wearing a pair of tight leggings. It’s the biggest distraction ever and brings back the memory of the bathroom this morning.
Jeez. She’s so hot.
I’m not usually the kind of guy who checks out women, but the memory of Nila in just a bra and tight shorts had been impossible to ignore. Her curves are jaw-droppingly perfect, and the sight of her bare skin is forever burned into my brain.
“Have you ever gone hiking before?” She glances back over her shoulder at me, and I rip my eyes from her legs, feeling embarrassed.
“I used to hike with my parents,” I answer. “They loved the outdoors. ”
“My grandparents did too. We used to go camping all the time in their RV. It’s a cheap way to take vacation.”
“I thought you grew up in New York City.”
She shakes her head. “It was Upstate New York. I moved to NYC for college.”
“So, you must like it there then?” Something in me stirs as I think about the distance between Atlanta and New York City.
I don’t even know why I’m measuring it, though.
“I like New York City, yeah.” She pulls out her water bottle. “But I don’t have the same attachment to it that I used to. It doesn’t necessarily feel like home.”
I nod. “I get that.” My eyes drift past her, taking in the tall trees and blue skies. The air is crisp and fresh.
Maybe I’ll vacation in the mountains more .
“So, are you from Atlanta?” Nila’s question brings my eyes back to her, and I trot to catch up, falling in step beside her on the wide trail.
“I’m not, no,” I tell her, catching a hint of her perfume. “I actually grew up in Missouri. It wasn’t until I started playing for the Glaciers that I moved to Atlanta.”
“Oh, did your dad follow you there, then?”
“Yep. My dad moved to Atlanta to be closer to me. We still have our estate in Missouri, though.”
She nods, stealing a glance at me. “That must be nice.”
“It is. I guess that’s considered home for me. ”
“I don’t really have a place I’d consider to be home anymore...”
Her comment makes my heart sink.
I meet her gaze and see the loneliness in the hues of her green eyes.
It’s clear that Nila carries a weight of her own. I want to ask her about it, to dig deeper, but I’m not sure how to approach the subject. Instead, I decide to keep things light for now.
“Well, maybe you just haven’t found a place to call home yet. I mean, I say that Missouri’s my home, but then again, it might not feel that way if I went back there right now. Life changes, and so does our home.”
She shrugs, her smile returning—though it’s not the same as it was before. “I don’t know. Maybe one of these days I’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah, if you do, let me know.”
“Deal.” She chuckles.
We walk another mile in mostly silence, taking in the views around us. Something about Nila being here makes it that much more meaningful … and beautiful , but I can’t tell her that—it would freak her out. But it’s the truth. And the more I’m around her, the more I can’t push away my growing feelings for her.
It’s torture.
“Wow.” Nila’s gasp grabs my attention as we come out of the trees to the end of the trail. “What a lookout. ”
I join her, my eyes widening at the mountainous view. “Puts the cabin view to shame.”
I take in the steep cliffside, surrounded by large log rails.
As the breeze blows through Nila’s hair, I feel things I don’t even recognize. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mesmerized by someone before.
“It’s gorgeous,” she says, her eyes cast out on the expansive mountain range ahead.
“Yeah, you—it is.” I bite down on the inside of my cheek, waiting for Nila to come after me ... but she doesn’t. I don’t think she heard my fumble.
“I can see why this is therapeutic.”
“You want me to take your picture for your socials?” I offer, stepping up to the railing beside her.
“Um, no, it’s okay...” She sighs. “There’s no way a picture could do the real thing justice, but ... I should probably take a picture of you .” Nila digs into her side pocket, pulling out her phone. “They weren’t kidding when they said there’s no service.” She laughs as she opens the screen.
“Yeah, I don’t mind it.”
“I’m not surprised,” she teases, holding up the phone. “Smile.”
“I think this is the first time you’ve ever directed me while taking my picture.” I laugh, giving her a grin. She blushes behind the camera, but she doesn’t say anything. I keep grinning as she takes a few more and then puts her phone away .
“So, I guess we hike back now?” she asks.
“I guess. Unless you wanna hang out up here for a while.”
“Ooh, I wanna try something.” She rushes past me to the railing—and then climbs it.
“What are you doing?” I grab for her, stopping her as she reaches the top rail. “This is dangerous.”
“Says the man who plays a contact sport for a living.”
“I’m serious,” I quip, my hands resting on her hips. I should take them off her body, but I seriously don’t want her to fall.
“So am I.” She peers down at me and grins. “I wanted to know if it’d feel like I was flying while standing up here—kind of like on the Titanic .”
“Oh my gosh.” I groan and then burst into laughter. “I had no idea you were such a dork.”
She giggles. “You can hold onto me if you’re that scared I’m going to fall.”
I don’t argue as I stand there with her butt right in my face. It’s a good freaking view—even beats the mountains, I think. But still, I shift my gaze up as she spreads out her arms and closes her eyes. The sun glints off her skin, and I’m left with that feeling again.
“Do you want me to sing the Titanic song?” I ask her before humming the intro.
She laughs. “No, we’re not on a boat. There’s no water splashing in my face.”
“I can fix that,” I offer. “I’ll get my water bottle. ”
“Please don’t.” She opens an eye to gaze down at me. And then her smile fades, both eyes fluttering open. Her green eyes grow soft as they hold mine, and my hands tighten against the material of her leggings. “Will you help me down?”
I nod slowly, trying to keep my mouth from going dry as she turns to face me. The anticipation is palpable, drowning out all sounds except for the pounding of our hearts.
She takes a step forward and gently places her palms on the tops of my shoulders, slowly lowering herself into my waiting embrace. A spark of electricity shoots through me as her body presses against mine and I feel her breath catch in her throat. A voice in my head tells me to let go, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
Her lithe form slides against me, fitting perfectly into every curve and angle. I instinctively bend down towards her, enveloping her in my arms. Nila’s eyes meet mine and I am struck by the intensity and passion that burns within them. It’s intoxicating, igniting something primal and raw inside of me.
As her feet touch the ground, she tilts her head up to meet my gaze and that’s when I see it—the desire simmering just beneath the surface. It’s a magnetic force pulling me closer with each passing second.
My nose brushes against hers as we stand there, neither of us daring to break the moment. Her eyelashes flutter closed and I can feel her body relax into mine.
Our lips are just inches apart now .
But before we can close the tiny gap between us, she suddenly tenses in my arms and pulls away slightly. “We can’t do this,” she whispers breathlessly, her words breaking the spell between us.
“Sorry,” I mutter, dropping my hands and stepping away from her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was think—”
“Cameron, it’s fine,” she says, though her voice wavers as she meets my gaze. “We just got caught up in the moment. It happens.”
And with that, she heads down the trail.
Man, I’m an idiot.
I race to catch up with her, though I stay a few steps behind.
The silence feels deafening. Minutes feel like hours. And I resign to the notion that I’ve probably messed up the playful dynamic between us…
And that sucks worse than her rejecting me.
“I’ve been having a hard time coping with losing my gran a couple years ago,” Nila blurts out.
I furrow my brow.
I have no idea what that has to do with the moment we just shared at the lookout, but it’s definitely a heavy conversation opener.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“It’s been really hard moving on without her.”
I swallow hard, understanding on a level that brings me pain. “Yeah, I understand that. ”
“I know you do,” she says quietly. “It’s nice to be around someone who gets it. I tried to go to grief counseling, but it never seemed to help. Did therapy help you?” She glances my way.
I hesitate. “Looking back, I think it did. Though, at the time, it didn’t really feel like it helped me at all.”
She nods. “Yeah, maybe that’s how it was for me, too. She loved the mountains, and she’s all I’ve thought about since we started this hike. She would’ve loved it here.”
Great, and all I thought about was your butt.
I’m gross.
I shake off the guilt. “Did you vacation to the mountains?”
“No. We mostly went to lakes and rivers. Well, I think she’d been to the Rocky Mountains, though—before me. I don’t know. I just wish people lived forever.”
My heart aches at the grief in her voice. “Me, too. I think that’s the only pain time doesn’t always heal. It doesn’t necessarily get easier; you just learn to live with their absence.”
“That’s a really good way to explain it.” Nila looks up at me. “Did you learn that in therapy?”
“No, just the internet.” I crack a smile.
She giggles, the awkward tension dissipating between us. “I guess Dr. Google can give good information sometimes.”
“I’d say rarely, but yeah.”
We walk for a little while in silence, and then I call out to her. “Nila?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t mind sleeping in the bathtub.”