15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Nila
“Welcome to Lake Stillwater,” Tina says to Cameron and me. Apparently, we’re (yet again) the only ones who opted to go kayaking today. It’s okay though. I have no desire to socialize with mostly angry people.
And kayaking definitely beats stone painting …
Although, I’ll admit, I’m starting to feel nervous around Cameron.
After that near-kiss yesterday, it’s all I’ve been able to think about.
Everything in my body was screaming for me to let him kiss me, and his hands on my waist and hips gave me sensations I don’t think I’ve ever had before.
But still, it’s not right .
“Have you ever kayaked before?” Tina asks us.
“Yeah,” I answer her, still distracted by my own thoughts.
Cameron slept in the bathtub again last night, and I know he’s sore. Every now and then, he winces. But if I ask him, he blows me off.
“I haven’t,” Cameron admits with a shrug. “I prefer boats with motors. It’s a lot less work.”
Tina blinks at him, and my guess is she’s heard that joke more than once. “Kayaking is good for the soul. It allows you to listen to nature while also engaging your body.”
Cameron rolls his eyes and I fight back the urge to laugh. I manage to hold it in, and the two of us get ready to climb into the kayaks. Tina continues to give us directions, and I follow them, climbing into my kayak with ease. Cameron does the same, though he tips and rocks more than me.
It makes sense though. He is a big guy.
“Okay, I’ve walked you through the safety procedures. Stay close to the shore. Someone will meet you back here in a couple of hours.”
“Thanks, Tina,” I tell her, smiling as I paddle out and away from the bank.
She nods and then disappears back toward the building. I watch her go and then turn to Cameron, who’s awkwardly trying to maneuver himself.
“Well, kayaking is clearly not a natural thing for me.” He grimaces. “I did not expect it to be this hard. ”
“It’s not hard,” I tell him, shaking my head. “You just need to move your body in relation to how you’re paddling.”
“What?”
I roll my eyes. “Quit rocking so much.”
“Right.” He sighs. “This is ridiculous.”
I giggle but then focus on the clear waters, towering rock ledges, and the trees surrounding the lake. It’s not big by any means, but it’s perfect for kayaking. I take a deep breath. “I think this might’ve been good for me, too.”
“What’s good for you?”
“Coming here.” I glance over to him, meeting his gaze. My stomach flutters as I take in the perfect dimples in his cheeks as he smiles at me.
Everything about Cameron is attractive—even when he’s being frustrating.
And I hate it.
“I’m glad one of us is getting something out of it.”
“Oh stop.” I laugh. “I think you just need to give this place a chance. The fresh air is good for the soul.”
“This is definitely a side of you I never expected.” His comment makes my heart flutter, a sweet expression building on his face.
“Yeah, I guess maybe there’s more to me than meets the eye,” I tease and then start paddling.
I stick my hand in the water, expecting it to be freezing. After all, they made us wear wetsuits. However, it’s not nearly as cold as I expected.
Still cold, though.
“Would you get mad if I dumped you?”
I whip my head around just as Cameron glides up against my boat. “Um, yes . I don’t want to go into the water.”
“Aw, okay.” He sticks out his bottom lip at me. “I was really thinking about it.”
I raise a brow. “The water is cold.”
“We’re in wetsuits.”
Yes, and you look super hot in yours.
“And?”
“We’d be fine.”
I shake my head at him and continue paddling, filling my lungs with crisp air and drinking in the sights in front of me. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten out of the city, and now I realize I need to do it more often.
“Did you ever go on vacation with your ex?”
Whoa. I did not expect that question.
I turn to face him, and his expression is uncertain as I meet him with silence—but there’s something in me that urges me to share. “No,” I finally answer. “I’ve never gone on vacation with a boyfriend before. I’m assuming you have.”
“No, I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“You know what I meant,” I level with him as he laughs .
“Okay, okay.” He holds up his hands in surrender, the paddle lying across his lap. “But no, actually, I haven’t. I really haven’t dated all that much. Hockey has pretty much been my life.”
“Lacey Reign seems to think you dated a lot.”
His smile instantly fades. “She never even got to know me. Despite being together for six months, we rarely saw each other. She ghosted me when she came to town.”
“Oh.” I pause, feeling guilty for giving him a hard time. “I’m really sorry. That’s awful.”
“Yeah, but it’s water under the bridge.” He waves it off. “Maybe one day, I’ll actually find the right person for me and settle down…”
Oh boy.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs. “Why? Is that hard to believe? I don’t want to miss out on love or having a family just because I’m too busy chasing my dreams.”
His words catch me off guard—striking a chord deep within me and stirring emotions I’ve buried under the weight of my career aspirations.
“I guess it’s not that hard to believe, just surprising to hear from you.” I can feel my heart thudding in my chest as I speak.
“And what about you, then? Do you want a family?” he asks.
I swallow hard, unsure exactly how to answer his question .
Because the truth is, before I got caught up in climbing the corporate ladder, my number one goal in life was to find love and start a family…
But then Gran died.
And I threw myself into my career to numb the pain—letting my relationships and any dreams of a family fall by the wayside.
I clutch my necklace and meet Cameron’s gaze, searching his eyes for any sign of judgment or pity. But all I find is genuine curiosity and a hint of vulnerability that mirrors my own. “I used to,” I begin slowly, testing out the words as they leave my lips. “I used to want all of that. Love, family... but life doesn’t always go as planned, does it?”
Cameron’s expression softens, his eyes holding a depth of understanding that surprises me.
“No, it doesn’t,” he quietly agrees. “But maybe it’s not too late to revisit those dreams.”
His words linger in the air between us and I find myself daring to imagine a different future—a future where love and family are once again within reach.
Maybe it’s possible to have a successful career and a family .
“You think we should go to that group dinner thing tonight?” Cameron asks me, giving me the perfect distraction.
I nod. “Yeah, let’s see who else is here.”
My arms are sore as I shrug into a sweater dress over my tights. Cameron is waiting outside the bedroom while I change, and whatever awkwardness there was when we first got here slipped away at some point.
But maybe it’s just the fact I now check the bathroom before undressing.
“You look nice,” he remarks as I step out, my purse slung over my shoulder. “Shall we go now?”
“It’s going to be a cold walk,” I say with a sigh as I shrug on my coat.
“It’ll be fine.” Cameron opens the front door for me and I step out into the night. My eyes lift to the sky, taking in the full moon.
It’s beautiful.
Everything here is.
Cameron stays quiet as we make the trek to the main lodge, and part of me wants to ask him why he’s nervous—but I don’t. He’s becoming easier for me to read, and as much as I shouldn’t, I find myself studying him closer and closer.
I can’t help but want to know him more.
“Welcome,” Tina tells us twenty minutes later as we step through the main doors. “I’m so glad you decided to join the group tonight.”
I follow Cameron, letting him lead the way into the dining hall. There are more people here than I expected—nearly twenty if I had to put a number on it. Most of them are men, which is no surprise, but a few of them are women...
And they all look up when we walk in, which instantly raises my blood pressure.
Is it because they recognize Cameron?
I swallow hard, hovering close to Cameron, breathing in the scent of his cologne. There’s something about being near him that makes me feel safe. But maybe it’s the fact that we’re in a room full of potentially unstable people that I feel the need to hover more than usual.
We grab a plate and make our way down the buffet of warm, delicious-looking food before finding an empty seat at a table with a man and a woman. They have a chair in between them.
“Mind if we sit here?” Cameron keeps his voice light.
“Sure,” the woman with long, dark hair says. She’s easily got fifteen years on us, but she’s as beautiful as ever. Although her dark eyes are troubled. “I’m Hal.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say as she catches my eye. “Nila.”
“That’s a unique name,” the man with blond hair says to me. He’s closer to my age, probably in his early thirties. “I like it. I’m Samuel.”
“Cameron.”
“You’re the hockey player.” Samuel’s eyes run up and down Cameron in a way that causes me to pause. It’s as if he’s sizing him up—and I don’t like that. But then he smiles. “You’re really good. ”
“Thanks,” Cameron says, digging his fork into a piece of steak.
“Are you liking it here so far?” Hal asks me, smiling.
“Yeah,” I tell her. I don’t know why I’m being so stiff. Maybe it’s the way the dining room feels so formal with its white tablecloths and floral centerpieces.
Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m leery of the reason why everyone else is here.
“You’re staying in the cabin with him?” Samuel asks me, his eyes lingering on my face.
“Yeah,” I answer, swallowing hard.
“I heard you’re not here for the program.”
“I’m not,” I admit with a shrug. “I’m just here—”
“For support,” Cameron finishes for me.
I nod, seeing what he’s doing. I can tell he’s uneasy, and I am, too, for reasons I can’t really explain. “It’s true.”
Samuel chuckles, mumbling something under his breath.
“Ignore him,” Hal mouths.
I look up at Cameron and he gives me a knowing glance. We’re about to dine and dash this thing. Both of us eat quickly, scarfing down our food so fast that I don’t even taste it.
And fifteen minutes later, we’re bidding the two of them goodbye and slipping out of the main doors.
“That was wild.” Cameron bursts into laughter as we head down the trail toward the cabin .
I glance over my shoulder, checking to make sure no one is following us. “I don’t think people are very friendly here.”
“I think they’re angry.” Cameron chuckles. His hand brushes mine and I audibly catch my breath. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking away.
“It’s okay.” I keep my eyes straight ahead. I know that if he sees my expression, it’ll give me away. “Why didn’t you tell them the real reason I’m here?”
“Well...” Cameron’s voice comes out timid. “I saw the way that guy looked at you, Nila.”
“And how did he look at me?” I ask as we make it over the first crest, finally out of view of the main lodge. There’s nothing but trees, rocks, and moonlight now.
Cameron stops, turning back to face me. “Like you were a piece of meat.”
I nod, studying his face. “That’s how a lot of guys look at me.”
“They shouldn’t,” he growls. “You’re beautiful, but you’re not an object.”
I can’t help but smile, taking in the way the moonlight reflects in his eyes. “Do you see me as an object?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I see you for what you are. You’re not only beautiful, but you’re also smart, cunning, funny, and strong-willed. You have a big heart. You’re caring and compassionate. There’s a fire inside you that can light up even the darkest of places—”
“Okay,” I stop him, blushing. “That’s not professional.”
“Nothing about this is professional.” His eyes darken. “And you know that.”
My heart races in my chest as his fingers brush my cheek, placing my hair behind my ear.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more seen in my life.
And beyond feeling seen, with Cameron I feel … safe. It’s as if the walls around my heart are starting to crumble.
I gaze into his gorgeous hazel eyes, expecting him to lean forward and try to kiss me again, but he doesn’t. Instead, he smiles and then continues down the trail.
Which leaves me feeling empty.
As much as I appreciate that he is trying to respect my rules and boundaries, every single ounce of my body wants to break them right now.
“Wait,” I call out to him, reaching for his hand. Before I can even think about it, my fingers interlock with his and I tug him back to me. With bated breath, I rise onto my tiptoes, closing the distance between us.
Screw the rules.
He understands. And without hesitation, his hands find their way into my hair, pulling me closer as our lips meet in a feverish embrace. A hunger floods through my chest, igniting a fire within me that I never knew existed as I grip him tightly, clutching at his shirt .
His lips are soft and warm against mine, moving in sync with a long-awaited passion to be unleashed. The forest around us fades away as we become lost in each other beneath the moonlight. I run my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to me as the world around us disappears.
I’ve never felt this insatiable desire to break all the boundaries before.
A low moan escapes my lips as our bodies press together, my skin tingling with electricity. Cameron responds by intensifying the kiss, claiming every inch of my mouth for himself. His tongue dances with mine, sending electric shocks down my spine as I lose myself in the moment, committing to memory the sweet taste of him and the way his hands feel as they hold us together.
And then, he slows our kiss, gently teasing my lower lip with his before trailing his mouth away from mine, planting soft kisses along my cheekbone and then my jawline, nearly bringing me to my knees.
Just when I think I might collapse from the intensity of it all, he pulls away, letting out a shaky breath and clearing his throat in the most endearingly awkward way. “We should probably head inside.”
We walk the rest of the way in silence, and I bite back the smile as he steals glances at me every so often.
However, with every step I take, the reality of what we’ve just done sets in .
We crossed a line, and I’m not sure that we can come back from it...
And as much as I loved the moment, I’m already feeling like I might’ve just ruined my career.