16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Cameron
The moment the Wi-Fi turns on, I reach for my phone and slip out into the night.
Nila’s been taking a bath for nearly an hour—and all I can think about is the fact that I might have messed up.
But it was the best kiss of my life...
And she started it.
I think.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Dad asks as soon as he answers.
“It’s, um, going.”
“That doesn’t sound good...”
“I think I messed up,” I admit. I need to talk to someone, and my dad is the only person I can think of that will help me rationalize.
My friends and teammates would just praise me for making a move...
And right now, I need someone who understands.
“Messed up what? Your therapy”
“No.” I groan. “With Nila.”
“ Oh ,” he says and then pauses. “I had no idea—”
“You know I like her.”
“Yeah, I just wasn’t sure if it was going anywhere. What happened?”
“I kissed her. Well, she kind of initiated it. I tried to kiss her on a hike the other day, and she turned me down—said it was unprofessional. But then tonight, we shared a moment. I kissed her and we haven’t really talked since.”
“Take a deep breath.” He laughs, and I know he’s probably shaking his head at me. “There’s no need to panic.”
“She’s been in the bathroom for over an hour, and I don’t know if I messed something up with her. I don’t want her to leave.” I can feel my anxiety building and it only makes things worse. I begin to pace in the grass.
“Just talk to her about it.”
“I don’t want to make things worse by talking about it.”
Dad sighs. “Talking is the only way to fix this. And maybe she’s been mulling it over just like you are. You don’t know unless you talk to her. Son, please don’t stop communicating. It’ll just make it worse.”
“Okay, okay,” I say, glancing toward the door. As I do, I catch sight of her shadow in the window. “Thanks, Dad. I gotta go.”
“Hey, wait,” he says quickly. “You haven’t told me how the rest of it is going.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” I say, rushing to get off the phone as the cabin door opens. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.”
“Love you.” He chuckles as I hang up and see Nila standing in the doorway.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she says carefully, eyeing the phone in my hand. “I just wanted to check on you.”
“Yeah, I’m good.” I force a smile. “My dad called. He was interested to know how the program was going.”
She nods, though I have no idea if she actually buys it. “So ... um... I actually was hoping we could talk.”
“Me, too.” I shove my phone in the pocket of my flannel pajama pants. “I think we should talk.”
“I agree.”
“Okay.” I follow her back into the living room, my heart pounding so hard I feel it in my ears. I’ve never been this nervous to talk to a woman before, but maybe it’s because I already know what she’s going to say.
“I think you should sleep in the bed,” Nila blurts out, her words completely unexpected.
“You know I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor,” I retort.
She nods slowly. “I know...”
I wait for her to continue, not sure I understand what she’s trying to say—I mean, I hope she’s saying that I can sleep next to her . But I’m not going to jump to that conclusion.
“We’ve already crossed the line,” she finally says, meeting my gaze. “And while I don’t think we should be doing it, I can’t stand seeing you walk around sore all day long. It’s not fair. We have a lot of time left here.”
I nod slowly, squashing my smile by biting down on my lip. “Okay.”
“Okay,” she breathes out. “And about tonight...”
“It happened,” I say with a shrug, giving her a reassuring smile. I can see the concern written all over her face. “I’ll never let it get out, okay? I don’t want your career to be tainted in any way, really. Plus, I know I’m the one who instigated all this between us.”
Her brow furrows. “It’s not just you.”
“Well, I’ve been the one to push for it.”
“Cameron, I kissed you tonight. I wanted you to kiss me. It’s not fair for you to take the blame for it all.”
“Yeah... But you said it’s unprofessional.”
“Because it is,” she says flatly. “I don’t kiss my clients. There are plenty of people who cross that line, but I’m just not one of them. I don’t want that kind of reputation.”
“I don’t blame you.” My voice comes out quiet, and I hate the fact that I feel disappointed. I should be excited to be climbing into bed next to Nila, but instead, I’m plagued with the guilt of what I’ve done to her. “I don’t want you to regret what happened—and if you need to be mad, you can be angry with me.”
She shakes her head, her exasperation present. “Why are you so nice? You’re supposed to be some hothead who loses his temper and punches fans. This ”—she motions to me—“isn’t that.”
I frown. “I’m sorry? I don’t get why that’s a bad thing. I told you, I don’t have an anger problem. I was taking up for my friend, and I’d do the exact same thing for you.”
“So, I’m a friend?” she asks.
Uh oh.
“We can’t be friends , Cameron,” she continues. “Maybe after this job is done, but right now, we’re just professionals.”
“Really?” I make a face. “But you just said we crossed the line and invited me to sleep in the same bed as you. I think we can toss that out the window.”
Her lips purse. “Okay.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“I’m going to bed.” She turns on her heels, giving me an eyeful of her long legs and round hips.
I watch her walk all the way to the bedroom and close the door, leaving me alone in the living room.
And my head is a mess.
I sit for a few minutes, replaying all the events that led up to this moment. We might’ve had a bit of a rough start, but overall, Nila has gone above and beyond to help me fix this mess I’m in—even going so far as to come with me to an Anger Retreat .
Who does that?
She’s been so persistent and patient with me but puts me in my place when necessary. She doesn’t even seem phased by prickly disposition.
But she’s also contradicting herself, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to handle it. It’s like she’s warring with herself over the right thing to do … though I suppose that’s not the worst outcome of all this.
What would be worse is if she didn’t have any feelings for me at all.
But clearly, given that she kissed me tonight, that’s not the case.
And that makes me smile.
Maybe I can win Nila over.
I take a deep breath and check my phone, tempted to call my dad back. But as I glance down at the screen, I see the Wi-Fi is already turned off. I frown at the rule and head for the bedroom.
I peek in and see Nila lying on her side, facing away from where I’m supposed to sleep. As I make my way around to the other side of the bed, I’m reminded just how small it is.
Yikes.
I have no idea how I’m supposed to climb in and not touch her by accident. But I’m going to give it my best shot. I pull the covers back gently, trying not to stare at the moonlight streaming through the window and glinting off her face. Her eyes are closed, her breaths deep and steady.
She must’ve been tired.
Carefully, I slide in beside Nila, keeping my body on the very edge of the bed. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I mean, yeah, I haven’t ever shared the bed with a woman, but she doesn’t know that—and this isn’t like that, anyway.
It’s only because we have to.
Mostly.
I blow out a breath and I feel Nila stir beside me.
Is she a light sleeper?
I wonder what she’s dreaming about.
I smile, relaxing into the pillow. There’s so much about her that I want to know, and it feels good that she’s letting down her guard with me—one that I’m pretty sure she leaves up to the rest of the world, which makes it all the more special. And now that she is … I want to know everything there is to know about Nila Christianson.
I spend the next few minutes just watching her sleep, admiring the way she looks so calm and so undeniably beautiful lying next to me. It’s something I’ve never experienced before, and the longer I soak it in, the more I realize I might be getting in too deep.
But I don’t even care .
I shut my eyes and place my hands behind my head, letting the sounds of Nila’s even breaths lull me into a peaceful slumber. However, just as I’m falling asleep, I’m startled awake by some movement in the bed.
I freeze as something tickles my nose, and the warmth of another body suddenly presses against mine.
Holy...
I swallow hard as Nila wraps her arm around my chest, snuggling in tightly to me. Her leg crosses over mine, intertwining, and my heart thunders in my chest.
Does she know what she’s doing?
I get the nerve to glance down at Nila and realize that she’s still fast asleep.
Should I wake her up?
The question floats around in my head for a while, trying to decide what the right thing to do is. I know if she was awake, she’d probably not be cuddling with me like this. But the thought of her warmth leaving me makes my heart plummet.
I breathe in the scent of her hair as her cheek rests against my chest. She lets out a sigh, snuggling in closer.
A smile breaks out across my face and I thread my arm around her, holding her in a way I never knew I wanted to.
I close my eyes, appreciating the moment for what it is...
Perfect.