17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Nila
“So, today,” Tina begins clapping her hands together, “we’re going to be working on things together as a group.”
I nearly drop the mouthful of eggs right out of my mouth, and when I glance over to Cameron, he doesn’t seem too thrilled about it either.
We’re sitting at one of the tables alone, though it’s not because of our choosing. No one else sat down at the table with us.
“When you all finish eating, you can meet me in the lobby. Dr. Shadid will be joining us for this outing as well.” Tina glances over in my direction, and I can only imagine what she thinks about the two of us.
We’re sharing a cabin—and now a bed—but we’re just working together professionally.
And kissing, apparently.
“I wonder what we’re gonna have to do,” Cameron’s comment draws me out of my thoughts. “Hopefully, it’s something athletic.”
“Hopefully, it’s something I don’t have to participate in,” I mutter, stabbing some hash browns and forking them into my mouth.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure you don’t have to. That wouldn’t be fair.” Cameron doesn’t look at me as he picks up his biscuit and takes a bite. I watch him, admiring his strong jawline and masculine nose. He almost has a boyish charm, given that he keeps his face clean-shaven. “What’re you staring at me for?” He gives me a sideways glance.
“You eat like a caveman,” I joke, immediately pulling my eyes away.
Ever since we kissed—which was just last night—things have shifted. I feel a pull toward him, and I can sense he feels it too, but we’re both trying to pretend like nothing’s changed.
In reality, everything has changed.
And I’m terrified. Not only because I promised myself I’d never get involved with someone I’m working with but also because I don’t even know how this relationship could work once we go back to our regular lives. We live in different states. Long-distance relationships are pretty much doomed to fail.
Besides, I don’t want to be tied down. My career comes first.
And that’s what I have to keep reminding myself of when I start to feel things for Cameron. Which is harder said than done since I tend to lose my mind when we get close.
“Do you think we’ll be doing something active? Or will we be catching butterflies?” Cameron muses as he reaches for his cup of coffee.
“Catching butterflies could be considered active.” I laugh. “I picture more of a singing Kumbaya kind of situation—like maybe we’ll all sit in a circle and hold hands.”
His lips curl in disgust. “That sounds awful.”
“Doesn’t it, though?” I burst into a fit of giggles. He joins me, shaking his head.
We finish the rest of our breakfast and then stand to our feet, following some of the others through the lobby to the outside. I don’t know why I’m nervous about this. But still, my heart beats unevenly in my chest as we join the group.
“Okay, it looks like we’re only missing a few people,” Tina calls out. She’s joined with some of the other counselors and Dr. Shadid.
A tickling sensation against my arm grabs my attention and I realize I’m standing so close to Cameron that his bicep is brushing against mine.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek as unwanted excitement flickers to life in my chest.
“If y’all will follow us out, we’ll take you to the obstacle course.” Tina waves toward the main doors and everyone grumbles as they follow along behind them.
I glance up at Cameron and he’s got a smile on his face.
Of course he does. He’s a professional athlete.
“This is going to be horrible,” a voice comments beside me. I turn my head to see Hal, her arms folded across her chest. “I don’t see how an obstacle course could possibly help with anger. I was hoping to get some real help here.”
I’m not really sure what to say to that. All I can do is nod. “...but at least the weather is nice today,” I mutter.
She side-eyes me. “Yeah, I guess, but it’s not going to feel nice when I’m dying from oxygen deprivation. I haven’t done anything like this in years. I’m basically old at this point in my life.”
“You don’t look a day over thirty,” I say, giving her a smile.
“Thanks.” She pulls her eyes from me, but the corner of her thin lips curl upward into a smile. “At least I have something going for me.”
After a few moments, we arrive at a grassy area, and I realize this is not the kind of obstacle course that I had pictured in my head. There are not many ... obstacles. Instead, there are booths set up throughout the meadow.
“Oh, this looks awful.” Hal groans. “It’s a strategy game. ”
“A what?” I ask her.
“I read about this before I came here. Apparently, you have to choose the proper reaction before you can move on to the next station—but there aren’t straightforward situations like, ‘Should you punch the lady at Walmart?’ No, it’s harder than that.”
I nod my head, my curiosity piqued. “This will be interesting, then.”
I look up at Cameron, who looks a little more than disappointed right now. I nearly laugh as I picture him trying to win this game.
I don’t think it matters how athletic someone is for this .
We listen to Tina’s instructions, and then the counselors head to their booths. Dr. Shadid is at the furthest position—the final booth to pass before finishing the course. Tina positions everyone in a line, Cameron and I being the first two.
“Is it okay if I take some pictures?” I ask Tina, who gives me a funny look.
“No, not on group activities. The other participants haven’t consented to their journeys being documented by a social media influencer.”
“I’m not a—”
“No pictures,” she cuts me off with a gaudy smile. “It’s just common protocol. That being said, if you’d like to skip this exercise, you’re more than welcome to. You can go back to the main lodge and use the Wi-Fi for whatever you need. ”
I bite down on my lip, looking over at Cameron. Considering I don’t need to learn how to control my temper, that sounds really nice right now. “I think ... I think I’ll do that, actually.”
“Perfect. You can regroup with your client at the end of the day. We’re going to be spending the rest of the day doing group activities.” Tina then turns her attention back to the group.
“Have a good day, Nila,” Cameron says, his voice with an edge of something that I can’t decipher. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, you, too,” I tell him before leaving the group and walking the gravel trail back toward the lodge. I untie my flannel from around my waist and slide my arms into it, the breeze leaving me with a chill.
When I arrive at the lodge, the emptiness is welcoming. Ever since we arrived, I haven’t had much time to myself, and now, given the opportunity, it feels like a dream.
“Can I help you?” one of the front ladies working the sign-in desk calls out to me.
I walk over to her, peeking over the desk at the young woman. “I just need the Wi-Fi password. I’m working for Cameron Hasten’s management team.”
“Ah, yes.” She nods. “Just give me a moment and I’ll write down the staff password for you. It won’t reach all the way to your cabin, so you’ll have to hang out around here. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine, thank you,” I tell her as I take the slip of paper from her hand. I wish I would’ve brought my laptop with me, but I don’t feel like walking all the way back to the cabin to retrieve it.
I glance around the empty lobby and see a lounge area on the far side. I make my way there, ignoring all the brochures lining the wall. If you didn’t know any better, you’d probably assume this place is a tourist resort, but if you pick up the brochure, it’s all focused on mental health.
I plop down on one of the couches and pull my knees up to my chest as I connect to the internet. My phone fills with notifications and messages, though none of them are all that important. I mindlessly scroll through them anyway, more out of habit than anything else. I’m beginning to realize that social media has become a way for me to escape reality, a way to pretend that everything is okay in my life.
I eventually make my way to Cameron’s profile, which I’m signed into. He’s got thousands of direct messages. Thousands. And most are from women.
There’s no way I could handle that.
I’d probably be jealous all the time. At least, that’s what I’m going to tell myself. Which would make me no better than my ex. It would be miserable to deal with women throwing themselves at your boyfriend all the time ... right?
My stomach knots up, but not in a way that confirms what I’m trying to convince myself of .
I focus on updating his profile and then catching up on emails. I have a few job prospects lined up after this is over, but I can’t confirm them until I know this will be wrapped up.
Assuming there are no more curveballs thrown.
Hours pass, and I grab a snack from the vending machine. Apparently, the group isn’t coming back here for lunch. However, when the main door eventually opens sometime in the late afternoon, I find myself hopeful when I look up.
Ugh. Nope. Not Cameron.
Dr. Shadid steps through the doors, looking exhausted. He scans the lobby and then locks eyes with me. He smiles, the exhaustion slipping away from his expression as he makes his way over.
“How’s your day been?” He takes a seat in the armchair adjacent to me.
“It’s been fine,” I answer, setting my phone down beside me on the couch. “How did Cameron do today?”
He purses his lips together thoughtfully. “Well, he seems to have a good grip on things, really. He appears more level-headed than he’s made out to be.”
“That’s good news.”
“Yes, but we also haven’t triggered anything too personal. Some people only become angry when they feel as though it’s an attack on something or someone they love.”
“That makes sense. ”
He nods. “Yeah, and then there are people who always deal with things internally.” The look he gives me makes me think this is a loaded statement.
“Oh?”
“Yes, and those tend to be some of the hardest people to reach.” Dr. Shadid runs his hands across his jeans. “And sometimes, they’ve been hurt the most.”
“Maybe,” I say carefully. “Or maybe they just don’t know how to talk about the things that happened to them.”
“Maybe.” He smiles softly. “But letting someone in is a good thing. Sure, there’s always the risk of getting hurt, but that’s just a part of being human. We let each other down to some degree.”
“True, but I’ve been let down enough, and the person that I always ran to isn’t here anymore.”
Dr. Shadid gives me a warm, sympathetic look. “I know how that feels. It’s tough, and grief leaves no one alone.”
My eyes shift to the main doors as the group of participants suddenly start streaming in, but as I take in the faces, Cameron isn’t with them.
My heart drops. I look to Dr. Shadid. “Do you know where Cameron is?”
“Oh yeah.” He laughs. “The group activities wrapped up earlier, but he was working on pulling a favor—and I think it worked. You probably ought to head back out to the cabin.”
I narrow my eyes at him, trying to read the expression on his face. It’s impossible, though. “What’s he up to? ”
“Why don’t you go see yourself?”
“Okay...” I blow out a sharp sigh and head for the doors.
“Come see me sometime, Nila. We can chat more,” Dr. Shadid calls after me.
I turn back to him and nod. I have no desire to dig deep into my past or the hurt I have from losing my gran, but maybe it would be good to talk about the things on my mind—those things mostly surrounding my job ... and Cameron.
I make the walk back to the cabin in about fifteen minutes, taking my sweet time. I’m nervous as to what I might stumble upon, but as I step inside of the tiny cabin, I’m greeted by...
Nothing.
The entire place is empty.
“Cameron?” I call out, checking everywhere—the bathroom included.
I sigh, running my fingers through my tangled hair. I need a shower, but I also need to find him.
I make my way out of the bedroom and then catch sight of the back door. It’s ajar.
And as I pull it open, my mouth falls open.
“Hey.” Cameron beams, sitting on a picnic blanket. He pats the space beside him, and I step off the back porch to join him. I spy a picnic basket and a bottle of wine.
“It’s nonalcoholic,” Cameron muses with a chuckle. “Apparently, they don’t keep alcohol around here. ”
“Makes sense.” I laugh, my heart pounding in my chest. I carefully take a seat beside him, taking in the view of the mountains and the setting sun as he lays out the picnic items. “This is really nice.”
“Yeah? I thought this might be better than another dinner stuck in the lodge with all the others.” He gives me a smile that makes my body feel like Jell-O.
And suddenly, I forget why getting close to him is such a bad idea.