Chapter 17
Nash
Leo’s words stuck with me all day.
When he said he likes to keep his good deeds private, I felt a pang of guilt.
I volunteer at a local children’s hospital, something my agent, Talia, and the PR team suggested I do to maintain my ‘golden boy’ image.
Each time I visited the hospital, Talia accompanied me and took pictures, which she uploaded to my social media accounts.
I never minded the good publicity until now.
It felt wrong, in a sense, to broadcast my charity work while Leo basically did the same but kept his shitty image with the public.
“What’s wrong with you?” Talia questions, as we walk into the hospital.
“Nothing,” I lie. This is just another secret I need to keep.
She holds in her arms a bottle of bourbon that I have signed. There’s a doctor in the pediatric wing who is a huge fan and loves bourbon. He saw the advertisement I was in for the local distillery and I promised him a signed bottle for him and his wife.
The sterile scent of antiseptic mingles with the soft laughter of children echoing through the hospital corridors, a steady reminder of the joy I strive to impart as I step inside.
Each time I walk through these familiar halls, the warmth in my chest spreads, driven by the children's exuberance and innocent spirits. Their laughter is a balm against the internal chaos.
“Hey, Nash!” A young voice calls out, bright as sunshine, cutting through my haze. I glance down to see a little boy with messy hair and a wide grin racing toward me. His energy pulls me in, offering an exhilarating distraction that I desperately crave.
“Hey there, buddy!” I greet, kneeling to match his eye level, embracing the childlike joy radiating from him. His infectious enthusiasm chases away the remnants of doubt swirling in my mind. “Are you ready to show me what you’ve been working on?”
“Yeah!” He bounces on his toes, eyes sparkling with excitement. “I made a drawing for you!” He holds up a colorful piece of paper, filled with scribbles and a whirlwind of colors.
“Wow, this is amazing!” I say, taking the drawing into my hands, appreciating the effort and heart he’s poured into it. “You’ve got a talent, my friend. I can’t wait to hang this up in my apartment.”
A smile stretches across his face, and I can’t help but feel a warmth settle in my chest, a gentle reminder of why I’m here. Talia snaps a few pictures, and I struggle to keep my smile.
As I wander through the hospital, spending time with the children, sharing stories and laughter, I find solace. Yet every once in a while, memories of Leo flash through my mind, and I find myself grappling with the conflicting emotions he invokes in me.
I shake my head to clear it, reminding myself to focus. I refuse to let thoughts of him disrupt this sanctuary, even as I know the raw tension he represents lingers in the corners of my mind, unfurling like smoke.
After a few hours filled with cheerful conversations and warm hugs, I reluctantly check the time, realizing I need to head to practice. I decide to arrive early, hoping to bury myself in pre-practice rituals and drown out the mounting tension. Talia and I part ways, and I head straight to practice.
As I pull up to the rink, I can feel the familiar adrenaline surging, competing with the dread that builds in my stomach. Stepping inside, I’m met with the sound of skates scraping against the ice, teammates scattered about, banter bubbling into the air.
I make my way to my stall, doing my best to avoid Leo’s gaze, and as I sit, I realize the banter has shifted.
My teammates greet me with laughter, sharing tales from the night before, but the words feel muffled, like they’re echoing from a distance.
I force a smile, engaging only superficially as the weight of yesterday’s connections hangs in the background.
“Nash, man! You’re not still upset over the pool game, are you?” One of my teammates jabs, and laughter erupts around the room. I can see Leo’s amused smirk from the corner of my eye, the familiarity stinging just enough to break the fragile bubble I’ve tried to create.
“Just getting my head in the game,” I reply, the formality coating my voice like a shield, attempting to brush off the lingering tension.
“It’s all about having fun!” another chimes in, their enthusiasm bubbling over. The laughter feels contagious, but I can’t shake the undercurrent of uncertainty each time Leo moves through the locker room, the way he takes up space and challenges me with every confident stride.
But when we finally step onto the ice, the chaos melts away, replaced by a synergy I never expected. As we line up for drills, Coach Reynolds nods at Leo and me, and his praise echoes in the cavernous rink, filling the air with a sense of pride.
“Great job out there today, you two! I can see your teamwork improving!” The coach’s approval surges through me, a warmth spreading in my chest as Leo and I exchange glances. The lingering energy crackles between us..
“Nice save, Nash!” Leo calls out during one drill, his voice light, but layered with something more profound. I can feel the connection grow stronger as we execute play after play, everything falling into place like clockwork.
This is our secret realm. Part of the fun between us is holding our secret.
As the drill comes to a close, I catch Leo’s gaze again, and the tension shifts back into a heavy charge, something unspoken hanging just between us.
For a moment, I allow myself to feel it—the exhilaration of this newfound partnership and that maybe for the first time in my life, I can be with a man.
But as we skate off the ice and the practice winds down, I’m left with the familiar twinge of uncertainty.