Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
T he Book Belle bookstore where Janet worked was a nerd’s wet dream. Rare comic books hung on the walls like posters. Collectible toys, movie memorabilia, and anatomically inflated action figures were staged on the shelves and counters. Oh, and they had books too.
Gary’s eyes glazed over as soon as we walked inside. “What is this place?” I suspect his tofu package went from extra to super firm.
“The Book Belle,” I said. “This is where Janet works.” After high school, Janet had gone to college and majored in literature, which basically qualified her for absolutely zero actual jobs. So she ended up getting a job at The Book Belle, and had worked her way up the ranks.
“Janet works here?” Gary was like a little boy that just found out his best friend’s mom worked at a candy factory with unlimited free samples.
I nodded, “Yup.”
Ever since people started getting their books online, cheaper than any small business could afford, independent bookstores like the Book Belle had to get creative. And Janet was a genius in creative marketing. It was her passion that had kept this place afloat, even as most of the other bookstores around town had gone the way of the dinosaurs. Speaking of which, on the shelf above us, a tyrannosaurus rex chased a flux capacitor fueled DeLorean about to run over Frankenstein.
We weaved our way through the labyrinth. Books of all sizes, shapes, and colors packed the shelves. New and used. Fiction and nonfiction. Cook books. Romance novels. Science Fiction and Do-It-Yourself.
There were dozens of spaceships hanging from strings pinned to the ceiling, an epic space battle milieu. Stormtroopers and Klingons and Transformers waged war across the shelves.
“This place is awesome.” Gary stood in awe as an electric circus train transporting plastic lions, tigers, and bears twisted through a mushroom themed village of gnomes, defending their village against an onslaught of Smurfs.
“Okay, Charlie, you can go play in the chocolate factory later. Right now, we have a job to do.”
It was good to see him smile. Weird that he was smiling at all the nonsense, but still good.
“And what exactly is the job? Specifically?”
“I’ll tell you,” I said. And I planned to as soon as I figured it out myself.
I looked around the bookstore, desperate for inspiration. Based on what I was seeing, we could either make Janet walk the plank off a spaceship into some sort of desert sinkhole creature with tentacles and teeth, or hop across yellow blocks in a plumber outfit and bounce on the head of a big green dragon until it pooped gold coins out its butt.
“Hey, look at this.” Gary pulled a random book from a random shelf next to where we were standing. He held it up for me to see. Modern Architecture .
“Holy shit, you’re brilliant.” I punched him in his arm.
“Ouch.”
“We’re going back to Plan A.”
“I thought you said Plan B was better than A.”
“The situation is fluid.”
“I have no idea what any of this means.”
“Lucky for you, I do.” I looked around at the surrounding shelves. “You have the architecture book, so that covers the sexy intellectual angle. But Janet’s favorite books are supernatural romance.”
Gary made a face.
“You’re not secretly a werewolf, are you?”
“Not that I know of. But it has been a while since my last lycanthropy screening.”
“Is that the one where you bend over and cough?”
“No, that’s for vampirism.”
“Here.” I handed Gary a book with a cover that showed a raven haired woman, breasts bursting out of her evening gown, flanked by a half naked, muscle bound werewolf on one side and a half naked, muscle bound vampire on the other. It was called Blood Moon Lust .
“People read this stuff?”
“Janet does. Follow me.”
I led Gary through the bookstore. I added Wealth Investing, Vegan Cooking, and the Kama Sutra to the stack in his arms as we went.
“You know, technically, I already know how to do all these things.”
I stopped and spun around so quickly that Gary almost dropped the pile of books on my toes. “Wait. All of them?”
A bit of a smile curled on Gary’s lips. “If this plan of yours gets Janet to go out with me, then you can ask her later to verify.”
I’m not sure why, but my heart started beating like I was being chased by a pack of werewolves and vampires through the woods. I had to stop for a moment, hand braced on a shelf.
Concern clouded Gary’s face. “Hey, Mary, I was just kidding?” He paused, then added, “I don’t really know how to cook vegan.”
I slapped Gary on the arm.
“Maybe I should get a self defense book. Karate or kung fu?”
I noticed we had stopped in the poetry section, and I got an idea. “This is perfect.” I pulled a big leather bound volume from the shelf, then put it on top of the other books. Gary looked like a pack mule overladen with supplies, about to topple over from the weight.
“What’s that one?”
“French poetry.”
“Janet likes French poetry?”
“Nobody likes French poetry. But women like sensitivity. You know, all that touchy-feely nonsense. And French poetry is about as fluffy as you can get.”
“I don’t speak French.”
“That’s the beauty of it. Neither does Janet. You could speak Portuguese and she wouldn’t know the difference.”
“I don’t speak Portuguese either.”
I stepped back to survey my handiwork. As I looked over the collection of books, I thought Plan B, which was now Plan A, might actually be even better than the original Plan A after all.
Janet loved books. Once she saw Gary shared her passions, she couldn’t help herself but fall head over heels.
Take that universe. Mary Burns was on the board.
The twinkling lights from the gnome village gave Gary’s eyes a warm glow. Standing there with the heavy stack of books in his arms, I could see the muscles in his biceps flexing under the weight. My eyes drifted to the title on the spine of the book just under the French poetry. Kama Sutra . My heart started beating faster again. I already know how to do all those things .
“Oh my God, Gary, Gary Wright? Is that you?” We both turned as Janet appeared, her eyes wide and hands poised for clapping. “I can’t believe you’re standing here in my book store after all these years!”
I quickly scanned their faces. Janet was genuinely thrilled. She looked like she was about to explode. And was that smile on Gary’s face as real as it seemed? Holy hell. This might actually work.
Janet said, “I need a hug Gary, give me a hug!”
Quickly, I motioned for Gary to pass me the stack of books. He did. But as soon as he pulled away, my knees buckled, and it took all of my strength to stay upright.
Throwing out my back was worth it, though, because before Gary could even brace himself, Janet leaped into his arms and wrapped her hands around his neck. In a good way, not a strangling way to be clear.
“It is so good to see you again!” she squealed. “I can’t believe it.” After sufficiently smothering the poor man, Janet stepped back to get a better look. “You look a-maze-ing,” Janet gushed. “I mean, wow.” Janet looked like a teenage girl who just got pulled up on stage at her very first Kpop concert.
She started fanning herself with her open hand and breathing in gasps. “My God, Gary Wright, I can’t believe it, after twenty years. What are you doing here?”
Something seemed to click in Janet’s brain.
She looked at me.
Then looked at Gary.
Me again.
Then Gary.
A big smile stretched across Janet’s blood flushed face. “You’re here with Mary?”
“No,” I said before any more assumptions formed in her head. “We just came here together, as friends, because Gary, Gary wanted to …” My brain must have decided it had enough excitement for one day and was going on strike effective immediately. I demanded it get back to work, but it only held up a picket sign that read F-YOU.
“I’m here for the book signing,” Gary pointed to the book signing flyer taped to the wall. It was like he had ridden in on a white horse, his shiny metal armor gleaming in the sun. Not unlike the King Arthur figurine in the mythology section beside us.
“Yes, the book signing,” I agreed. Meanwhile, the books in my hands were slipping. The hard cover edge of the architecture book was cutting into my hand like a razor.
“So you’re here to see Lance Boyer, then?” Gary and I stared at Janet as if she were speaking French. Or Portuguese. “The author here signing books,” she explained.
“Yes,” I said. “Lance Boyer. Of course.”
“Mary was kind enough to give me a ride,” Gary added.
“As friends. Since we’re friends. Just friends,” I reiterated.
Janet turned to Gary. “I didn’t realize you were into that kind of thing,” she said.
“Oh yes,” I interjected. “Gary’s a big fan. He’s read all of Lance’s books.”
“I see.” Janet nodded. “He’s so inspirational. So brave.”
“Very brave,” I agreed. “Very inspirational. He really inspired Gary. Isn’t that right Gary?”
Gary nodded. “For sure. He inspires me every day.”
I tried to shift the weight of the books in my arms from my left side to my right side, as my left shoulder went numb.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Janet grabbed some books out of my hands, holding them up for inspection. “Don’t you have enough sex books already, Mary?” Janet shook her head at me like a nun who had just caught a catholic school boy with a dirty magazine hidden under his bible. “And Blood Moon Lust , you have to finish Night Lust and Star Lust first. It’s a trilogy, so you have to read them in order.”
I caught Gary’s smirk out of the corner of my eye.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.
“You asked to borrow them from me just last week.”
Eager to change the subject, I said, “What’s the name of Lance’s new book again? The one that he’s signing?”
Janet put her hand on Gary’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “It’s called Coming Out .”
“Wait, what?” Gary looked like he just got the results back from a lycanthropy screening. All positive.
“ Coming Out ,” Janet repeated, then turned to Gary. “If you liked his other books, you’re really going to love this one.” Janet took Gary’s hand and gave that a squeeze, too. “I’m so glad you came. But we should hurry if you want to get a seat. Lance is going to start speaking any minute now. Follow me.”
* * *
We followed Janet through an arched entrance with the words Somewhere Over the Rainbow tacked to the wall in fanciful colored letters. The arched portal led to another section of the store. Here, a rainbow mural swept across the ceiling, where it continued down the far wall. Leprechaun figurines were protecting a pot of gold from Jason and Freddy action figures, complete with a hockey mask, chainsaw, and claws. I assumed this was where the books focused on Irish folklore, LGBTQ, and unfortunate summer camp incidents. Perhaps there would be something here about our nature walk adventure one day.
The small stage was tucked into a cozy corner just past the rainbow room, facing several rows of folding chairs set in a semicircle. Lance Boyer sat down on the stool in the middle of the stage. Beside him was a small table with a glass of water, a pen, and a stack of his books. Lance was a beef slab of a man, like a tree trunk dressed in flannel. He had the beard of a lumberjack, the neck of a wrestler, and the biceps of an “after” model from some wildly successful new testosterone treatment.
Gary squirmed in his seat. He leaned over to whisper in my ear. “This is bad. Really bad. We should just sneak out and go.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said.
“It’s not?”
“No,” I said. “Things could be way worse.” I had meant it to be reassuring, not foretelling. Whoops. My bad.
Janet stepped on stage beside Lance, holding a microphone. She leaned down and whispered something in his ear. When she stood back up, she looked directly over at Gary, smiled, and gave him a big thumbs up.
“Definitely bad,” Gary hissed. He tried to rise out of his seat, but I grabbed him by the thigh and squeezed, holding him in place.
“Ouch, that’s going to leave a bruise.”
Janet turned on the microphone and addressed the dozen people in the room. “Thank you all for coming. Tonight we welcome to the Book Belle stage, author Lance Boyer, whose previous works include Under the Rainbow and Living with Pride . He’s here with us this evening to read a small excerpt from his latest book, Coming Out , and then he’ll be happy to pose for photographs and sign any copies of Coming Out that you purchase here in store tonight.”
The audience erupted in applause as Lance took the microphone and stood up from his seat. He towered over everyone, especially with the added height of the stage.
The applause finally ebbed, and the room fell silent.
Lance took a deep breath, bowed his head. When he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes.
“My latest book, Coming Out , is really the culmination of a lifelong journey. Like all my books, it’s about making brave choices. It’s about not being afraid to take chances. It’s about living your best life.” Lance pointed to Janet. “Our lovely host here has asked me to dedicate tonight’s event to someone here in the audience this evening. Someone who, I’m sure, has had to make brave choices.”
“On no.” Gary tried to stand up again, but I squeezed his leg harder.
“Someone who, if he’s read all my books like Janet says he has, is probably not afraid to take chances. Someone who, since he’s here tonight, must be living his best life. Gary? Gary, can you stand up please?”
The audience started clapping. Gary and I stayed frozen in our seats. The audience looked around, waiting for the guest of honor to stand. Janet gestured enthusiastically for Gary to stand from the side of the stage. I’m sure Gary wanted to give me a different gesture.
“I told you this was bad.” Gary looked at me accusingly.
“And I told you they could be way worse. Which now they are.”
I let go of Gary’s leg. Slowly, he stood. The audience applauded. Gary made the brave choice to soak it all in, unafraid, making the best of his life situation. He even gave a little wave.
On stage, Lance said, “Gary, may this book give you the courage to follow in my footsteps.” When the applause faded away, Gary returned to his seat.
Lance sat back down on the stool, opened Coming Out , and began reading. “The Alaskan air was frosty that morning. Although it was now spring, the ground was still a blanket of white. Fresh flakes of snow clumped on the green trees of the pine forest.”
“What is he talking about?” whispered Gary.
I replied, “I have no idea.”
Lance continued, “I waited at a safe distance. Camera ready. My heart beating out of my chest. Because soon, after a winter long slumber, the magnificent brown bears of the vast wilderness would be …” Lance paused for effect, then continued. “… Coming out.”
Lance held open the book, revealing photographs of brown bear cubs playing in the snow. The audience oohed and aahed as Lance flipped through his photography book, each picture more magnificent than the last.
* * *
After the book signing, when author Lance Boyer and the other customers were long gone, I placed a signed copy of all three of Lance’s photography books down on the checkout counter. I was buying them for Gary. I figured it was the least I could do.
While Janet was totaling the sale, I flipped open Under the Rainbow . It was a series of photographs of the active volcanos of Hawaii, red lava and black rock juxtaposed with colorful rainbows in the sky. Lance really had an eye for natural compositions.
Living in Pride was a photo-journal of Lance’s time following a pride of lions through the Serengeti, in the Arusha region of Tanzania. Lance was truly living his best life. To be honest, I was jealous. Being eaten by lions or mauled by bears or falling into a volcano sounded like pretty good options compared to what I was dealing with.
Gary and I had stayed to help Janet clean up. Gary swept the floors, and I busied myself putting the books we gathered earlier back on their proper shelves.
I wanted to give Gary and Janet a little time to themselves. And the time alone together seemed to pay off. I heard Gary’s voice in the distance, laughing with Janet about some lost memory from days back in school. Looking down at the remaining stack of books in my arms, the cover of the Kama Sutra stared back up at me. The Universe was mocking me again.
On the other side of the store, I heard Gary still laughing with Janet. I watched from afar as he hoisted a stack of folding chairs over his shoulder. Clearly, Gary was no longer the lanky, acned, scrawny nerd geek he was twenty years ago. And yes, some women might even think he was attractive. And yes, perhaps, maybe, possibly, I was one of those women. But it didn’t matter what I thought. It only mattered what Janet was thinking.
“Where do you want me to put these?” I heard Gary ask. Somehow, Gary now balanced two armfuls of chairs on his shoulders.
“Oh, you can put those in the game room,” said Janet. “It’s right through that door over there. Follow me.” Janet looked over in my direction, and I pretended I was reading the book in my hands.
“How does she even bend over that far?” I asked a Dr. Ruth bobblehead, surrounded by the collectible cast of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
“Hey Mary,” called Janet. “I was going to show Gary the game room. Why don’t you come too?”
I followed Janet and Gary to the game room in the back of the bookstore, over a faux drawbridge beneath a mural of wart covered trolls. Tables and chairs lined up in rows down the middle. There was a poster of a Minotaur on the wall, replica weapons in plastic cases, and a life-sized suit of armor propped in the corner.
“This is where we hold our Dungeons and Dragons nights,” Janet explained.
“Dungeons and Dragons?” Gary had a glint in his eyes. And possibly a package of super firm tofu in his pants. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Dr. Ruth nodding.
“We have all the handbooks and modules. Dice, props, miniatures. Everything you would need.” Janet said, “Hey, maybe someday we can all get together and play.”