Chapter 13
Sandy
Shit, I feel old following behind all these kids. Although, they’re not exactly kids . Sometimes, I still find it hard to believe my daughter is in her late twenties. It only feels like yesterday I was holding her as a newborn in my arms. I’d been twenty, but in love, married to a man I adored.
James would be so proud of our daughter, happy with this family she’s built around her. And now a baby. I am going to be a grandma. I burst with joy when I found out.
Jenna was so upset that everyone knew before me, but I told her to hush her silliness. I am overjoyed and would be no matter when or how she told me.
Adam is the man I could have only hoped to love my baby girl. He worships her, but he doesn’t take over. I’ve raised her well enough to know she is her own person, and he respects that. His protective instincts are kicking up a notch. I get it, she is carrying precious cargo, but he is walking a fine line already, same as her father did with me.
I can’t help the huge smile. It’s been one hell of an adventure out here. And I adore being part of the plans.
Jordan, what will I do with that boy? If we’d had a son, Jordan would be how I wanted him to be. Obviously, I frown upon his behavior of the past, but seeing him with Alessa is another great joy to me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a part of this family, too. They’ve welcomed me just as much as Jenna.
I’m so busy all up in my head that I misstep and stumble over a loose rock. Large hands grab ahold of me and stop me from going ass over teakettle. I look up at Stone, his eyes full of concern.
“You okay?” he asks.
And I blush. Like a fucking teenager. But I preen too, having his hands on me, helping me upright.
“I’m such a klutz,” I say with a laugh. “But I’m fine. You saved the day just in time.”
A frown mars his brow as he checks me over, making sure I’m telling the truth. Ocean and Dylan are behind us and stop to make sure I’m okay. I wave them all off, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Typical. The old lady is the one who takes a tumble,” I mutter.
“You’re not old,” Stone’s deep voice rumbles and I look up at him. He isn’t in his usual attire today. He’s way more casual than I’ve ever seen him, dressed for the hike. “Don’t put yourself down, Sandy.”
I admire his arms underneath his flannel shirt but look away, rubbing my lips together as I do. Jesus, it’s been a while since a man made my heart flutter. And not just my heart. Jenna will kill me if she knows how this guy is setting all manner of my exciting parts in a tizzy. Or maybe she won’t. She periodically questions me about finding a man.
I never told her, she was too young, and heartbroken over her father’s death, but there have been men over the years. Nothing meaningful.
My heart will always remain with James Montanari. Losing him the way we did makes it that much harder.
He was so young, so vital and full of love and life, and he doted on both of us. When he died, a hole opened up inside of me that no one could ever fill.
It has been sixteen years since he was taken from us. It is a long time to go without that sense of being loved and loving someone.
It isn’t the same as the love I have for Jenna. There is more to what I am missing. I scratched the itch over the years. Mostly, I threw myself into my artwork. It is an escape I love.
James gave me that opportunity. I didn’t know about the insurance policies he had on his life. The provisions he made for us. But James was practical and prepared. Given his occupation, it was always in the back of his mind we may need support.
He provided so much for us. I’ve been able to buy my loft in Brooklyn. There was a college fund for Jenna and a trust for us that I used sparingly over the years.
“You think you’re okay to go on? You didn’t sprain it?” Stone asks when I haven’t answered the compliment he just gave me.
“It’s not that bad.”
I push on Stone’s arm. His lips lift on one side in a small grin. He doesn’t smile often, he’s very serious but I like this look on him, the twinkle in his eye. And not for the first time, I wonder if he reciprocates this attraction.
I’m not sure if what we do could be called flirting, but we’ve spent a lot of time together over the last few months. He’s around when we go out with Adam. While Jenna and Adam are wrapped up in one another’s sphere, I took to chatting with Stone. He is usually a vault, but I coaxed him into telling me about his family.
He’s never been married but has a son with an ex. He doesn’t see him often because they moved to Florida, but he has maintained contact and has shared custody. His son is in his twenties now, in college.
I’ve never asked Stone outright how old he is, and it’s hard to discern because he is so fit and looks after himself.
I doubt he’ll be interested in a woman of my age. My fiftieth birthday is fast approaching.
We walk again, bringing up the rear now, although everyone is still in our sights. Elsa is a whirlwind flitting around, taking pictures of wildlife, calling people in for group shots. The ranger patiently waits every time she does it and the others happily go along with her enthusiasm.
“Is everything ready for later?” I ask Stone.
Stone is good at organizing and making sure the band is safe. This is a little different given there are more people to watch over. It's a different set up to what he is used to, but his input has been invaluable. Working alongside him hasn’t been too much of a hardship either.
“All set up and ready to go.”
“And you’ve been careful?”
He side eyes me and I laugh, holding on to his forearm as I do. Shit, that is a flirty move if ever I made one.
He doesn’t brush me off. In fact, he lowers his arm and allows me to hook mine through his. I smile at him, and we carry on along the trail.
“Careful is my middle name,” he tells me.
I giggle. A sound I haven’t made for a long time. I wish I dressed with more care today, rather than in cargo shorts and a sleeveless top with a shirt thrown over. I am also wearing a rucksack and my hair is tied up haphazardly. My glasses are the boring black rimmed ones, but I can’t see a thing without them.
“Sandy, don’t worry. You’ve done an amazing job.”
“Thank you,” I grin.
We stop for a food and water break, settling in a small grassy area overlooking an amazing vista of mountains and lakes.
Brooke is pouting and rubbing at her neck with a wet wipe. I chuckle at her, telling her nature is as allergic to her as she is to it. She makes a neck slice gesture at me that has Ocean and Adrestia frowning in shock.
“Oh, don’t worry,” I assure them. “Brooke here knows to sleep with one eye open around me. It just makes her feel better to think she’s freaking me out.”
“Not helping, mom,” Jenna laughs.
Adam brings her a bottle of water and asks if she is okay for the fiftieth time. She waves him off after taking the water. I laugh at the look on his face as she walks away, then pat his arm.
“Don’t worry, women have been doing this for centuries,” I let him know.
“I can’t help it,” he says, for a moment looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him.
“If it’s any consolation, her father was the same. Tried to wrap me up in cotton wool, followed me around like a lost puppy dog.”
“Did you tell him to leave you be, like she keeps doing?”
“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” I laugh. They are all so used to my filthy mouth they don’t even flinch when I curse anymore. “I used that to its full advantage for the whole nine months. I had that man run ragged.”
“You’re a legend, Sandy,” Archer tells me, raising a bottle of water in my direction. He is lounging back on a rock, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle. “Never change.”
“Don’t plan on it,” I tell him. Making sure Jenna is caught up in her conversation with Alessa and Nick, I turn back to Adam. “Moderation is key,” I advise. “Just be attentive to what she needs. Don’t assume, or try to push anything on her. She’ll be way more grateful that you’re there when she needs you, not that you’re smothering her. And treat her now and then. A foot rub is always a good one. Or a massage when her back and… other parts are aching.”
His eyes widen. I can’t believe he isn’t used to me by now.
“Pay attention. You’ll know what she needs by the things she says and does. If you listen closely enough, she won’t actually realize it is something she wanted until you give it to her.”
“Like what?” he asks, hanging on my every word.
“You know her best, Adam.”
He stares down at his hands. I reach over and take one. “You will be an amazing dad to my grandbaby. You know that, right?”
“You think so?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes, you would,” he says without hesitation, making me laugh.
“Not where Jenna is concerned,” I tell him. “Look,” I point over at her, she is scraping her hair off her neck. “I nice cool cloth would be welcome right now.”
He jumps up and I grab his arm. “Like it’s a natural process, not like you’re going to pour a bucket of water on her head.”
“Right, got it.”
He slows his pace and I watch with a smile as he approaches Brooke and asks for one of her wipes. He sits behind Jenna and presses the wipe gently to her neck as she is talking, scooping her hair away for her.
She turns in surprise, but her smile is warm and full of love at his gesture. I wink at him when he looks my way with a surreptitious thumbs up.
“That was impressive,” Stone says, sitting on a rock behind us.
I blow on my nails and rub them against the shoulder of my shirt. He laughs at me.
“Jesus, did Stone just laugh?”
Stone stops and scowls at Archer, but I give the burly bodyguard a secret smile of my own and the scowl softens.
After our break, we set off again. For a while I listen to Dawson talking about the area as we pass through some beautiful sights. It is glorious out here. I’ve never seen scenery like it. Despite the hike and how slow I'm moving, Stone never leaves my side.
I wonder again about his age. His son is in his early twenties, so that has to make him in his forties at the least. I am young at heart, take care of myself and still have a pretty decent figure, even if I do say so myself. Could he find me attractive?
We talk as we walk, not paying any mind to the kids. That’s more me than him. He always has one eye on the band members he is in charge of. Even though there is a very minimal chance of anyone attacking out here.
There was more to worry about at the festival, but everything there had been great. It thrilled the town people to have the members of BreakNeck there.
We haven’t passed many other hikers along the way, but that is by design.
Stone asks me about my art, and I tell him I have a gallery showing in a couple of weeks. It is my third, I’ve made some good money selling my paintings. It’s always a thrill to put my art out there for others to see and buy.
“I wouldn’t mind coming along,” Stone says. “I’ve admired your work for a while.”
“Why didn’t you say so? You know I’m happy for you to take one.”
“Take one?” he looks aghast. “Sandy, you’re so talented and can make so much money on your work. I can’t just take one.”
“It’d be a gift, Stone.” I roll my eyes at him. “You’re a friend. I wouldn’t take money from you.”
“Absolutely not, I’d buy it.”
“I’m not cheap,” I say with a wink.
“No,” his eyes lower to my lips, then back to my eyes. “You’re not.”
I can’t stop the smile from spreading on my face. We’d unlinked arms a while ago, but as we move on, our arms and hands brush together. I peer up at him and he glances down, smiling.
Shitting hell, I used to be way cooler than this, and I’m not getting any younger here. If I want him, I should go for it. I am about to open my mouth when Jordan appears.
“It’s time,” he says. “Everyone’s preoccupied.”
“Okay, honey,” I step closer and once I am sure no one is looking, I give him a big hug. “Where is Alessa?”
“Up front with Dawson,” his face lights up as he speaks about her.
I give him the biggest smile and hold on to his hands. “I am so proud of you,” I tell him.
His usual manic persona is a little more subdued. If I’m not mistaken, my boy is nervous. I squeeze his hands in mine and try to give him some of my strength.
“Okay, yeah. I’m good,” he says, as if I’d asked how he was when in reality we’d been standing here in silence.
Stone is watching us with a bemused look. He’s known Jordan for many years, has seen him at his worst when he was drinking and womanizing. He told me all about how the boys were when they were younger.
I take a step back. “Get out of here,” I tell him with a wink.
“Mama, you are so lucky I’m already taken,” he tells me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek.
I watch him hurry away, then look at Stone, who is staring at me with an unreadable look. “What?” I ask him.
“Was he serious?” he asks, his voice all growly.
“About what? Oh God, of course he isn’t,” I laugh, when I realize what he means. “He’s my almost-adopted son,” I say seriously. “That is just gross.”
I smile as he looks after Jordan. Marcello will look out for him now. We don’t have anything to worry about. Although Jordan needs adult supervision to ensure he doesn’t end up in broken pieces.
As we move on, our hands brush a little more. Our steps slow and the others disappear around a corner. The silence is comfortable, just our breathing and the stomp of our boots on the stone path.
I’m about to muster my courage and open my mouth again when he grabs my hand and stops me. I turn to him, shocked he’s making the first move, but he’s staring into the forest to the side of the trail.
“Look,” he whispers.
I go up on my toes and try to see what caught his attention. Something moves in the trees. Stone helps me up onto a higher rock.
“There,” he points.
“I see it. Is it a deer?”
“An elk,” Stone says, his voice low so he doesn't spook it.
We both watch in awe as the majestic animal grazes a while, before sauntering deeper into the woods.
“That was amazing,” I say as he turns back to face me. He has at least a foot in height on me, but I’m on higher ground, so we're face to face.
“I didn’t even think to grab my camera,” he says.
“I don’t know, Stone. Sometimes it’s nicer to see things through your eyes, rather than a lens.”
His eyes lock with mine and we stare in silence for a moment. I’m almost certain I’m swaying towards him when his cell phone buzzes.
He shakes himself, like he is coming out of a trance, and clears his throat. I bite my lip and look away as he answers the call.
Shit, I wanted to kiss that mouth of his.
“Okay, great. Does the ranger know? Okay, we’ll head that way now.”
He hangs up and looks at me.
“Now?” I ask, excitement streaking through me.
He nods with a big smile, and I jump up and down, clapping. Of course, I jump on a loose rock and fall forward again. He grabs for me and keeps me on my feet.
I’d be embarrassed if the move hadn’t ended with me in his arms.
“Last thing we need is you breaking your ankle,” he points out, his voice rough.
“Uh huh,” I think are the words that come out of my mouth.
His hand moves and he resettles my glasses straight on my face, which I didn’t notice slipping. His hand lingers by my cheek.
“What would happen if I did?” I whisper.
“Well, I’d have to carry you down the mountain,” he says.
“Oh, that sounds heavenly.”
He grins and his whole face changes.
“Fucking hell, do that all the time,” I tell him, and his brow arches.
“Carry you?”
“That too, but I meant that,” I point at his mouth. “That huge smile.”
“Well, being around you gives me a reason to smile.”
“You smooth talking bastard,” I laugh.
“I have my moments.”
We stare at each other again. This could be something. If we both let it.
“Sandy!”
For the love of God, how many times are we going to be interrupted, just as things are getting good? But I would recognize that bark anywhere. Alessa.
“Oh fuck, we have somewhere to be,” I whirl around to hurry away, but Stone grabs my hand and then swoops me up, bridal style. “What are you doing?” I breathe out.
“Making sure you get where you need to be without hurting yourself. And giving them something to talk about.”
I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck as he marches ahead towards the rest of the group.
They need a distraction. Being carried in by the burly bodyguard will work better than anything I can plan.