Chapter 36
. . .
Evan tapped Lucy’s shoulder as she approached the door on his brother’s arm. “I still have questions.”
She nodded, patting Chris’ arm comfortingly. “Come find me when you’re done.”
They looked good together. Relaxed and happy. She’d never looked that naturally laid back with him ever, but he’d love to know why she hadn’t walked before making him look like a bigger asshole than people already thought he was.
The room emptied, with the exception of Heath, who hung back in his corner, looking fragile and stunned.
“I just want to talk for a minute.”
“Okay. Talk.”
He’d been hoping for a warmer reception. Of course, he hadn’t banked on discovering his brother and fiancée were the ones responsible for fucking with both of their lives ahead of this conversation. That really put a damper on his intro.
“You look amazing.”
Heath sniffed. “I suppose this was your doing?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Why can no one just meet me at a coffee shop? Why must you devise an elaborate ruse involving dragging me to the last place I’d ever feel comfortable?”
Evan cringed. He’d thought—hoped—that Heath would embrace the evening. Maybe even have fun with it. As galas went, this one was small and sedate, a crowd specially curated to exclude insufferable assholes.
“Would you have met me?”
Heath’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I don’t know.”
That was a no.
“I didn’t ask Izzy to invite you, if that matters. She did that on her own. She also didn’t know I was involved until after you’d agreed to go.”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why didn’t you ask her to ask me?”
“I didn’t want it to be a setup.”
“This isn’t a setup?” Evan sighed and moved closer, but stopped when Heath held out a hand. “That’s close enough.”
“I swear it isn’t. It’s a strategically convenient coincidence.”
“You put some thought into that answer.”
He had no idea.
“I wanted… I just…”
It was impossible to keep his thoughts straight with the man nearly within arm’s reach. For eight months, he’d been kicking himself for fucking this up. Eight months of therapy and learning to accept himself and the things he’d done, as well as the things done to him.
He was still angry and bitter. He always would be, but it wasn’t his entire personality anymore. Now, it was a deadly viper encased in amber. Something he looked at when he needed a reminder of how far from the starting point he’d already traveled, and how far he still had to go.
“I’m sorry.”
“For?”
Christ, he was brutal. “You went easier on Christian.”
“He’s been disappointing me for a long time. I don’t care enough to allow it to get me worked up anymore.”
“Does that mean you do care enough about me?”
He sniffed and looked away. That was a yes.
“I’ve been in therapy.”
Heath looked back, his eyes less grey and cold. “That’s good.”
“It has been, actually. Olivia introduced me to one of the people at her practice, and they’ve really helped me figure some shit out.”
He crossed his arms. “What sort of shit?”
Here we go.
“I was toxic, for one. Too focused on the negatives. Obsessed with getting revenge at the expense of everything else. Even the things that were good for me. The ones I really wanted.”
“So, the thing with your father?”
“I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too idle to destroy for nothing.”
Heath blinked and Evan enjoyed watching the recognition.
“Wuthering Heights.”
“Izzy mentioned you were forcing some poor child to read it over vacation.”
The smallest smile curved his lips. Fleeting, but seen. “Yes, I mistreat my students horribly.”
“The, um, theme struck me as timely.”
Heath cleared his throat and looked away. “Just one of many classics I’ve tortured them with this year. Does that mean you’ve worked things through?”
That earned him a laugh. “If by ‘worked through’ you mean I told him to get fucked and pull me from the will.”
“You what?”
“You were right. I was wasting my life trying to punish someone who’s essentially impervious to consequences. I decided to change course after all, Gilligan.”
“Is that what tonight is all about?” He cleared his throat and gestured toward the door. “The gala and all that.”
“Yes.”
“Flanagan was your name?”
A tightness wrapped around his throat, and he swallowed it down.
“Yeah. Maggie was my mother. When I hit the age of majority and got the rest of the money that my father had put aside, I used it to create the foundation in her name. We started small, helping patients and their families with things they might need during treatment, but couldn’t afford, or insurance wouldn’t cover. That sort of thing.”
“And now?”
“Now, we’ll still be doing that, but there will be a separate wing for research. There have been a lot of breakthroughs in recent years, but government funding can be spotty. I want to help fill gaps where we can.”
“That’s really going to tarnish your baby-eating reputation.”
He laughed and pretended he didn’t see the smile Heath was trying to wrestle down. “I know. It’s why I quit.”
Heath’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. “You quit law?”
“I quit the law firm. I’m more useful in applying my trade here.”
“That’s… amazing.”
“It’s my foundation, but I don’t call all the shots. I stay out of the board’s way unless something comes up that’s important to me.”
This time, Heath let the smirk show. “Does this mean you’ve found God?”
“No, just inner peace.”
“I should teach you how to meditate.”
“I’d really like that.”
They stared at one another for an uncomfortably long time. Evan flexed and curled his fingers, trying to calm the itch crawling across his palms. Heath was right there, and his nerves screamed with a need to touch him.
Perhaps sensing the danger he was in, Heath cleared his throat and nodded to the door. “I should probably get back to my date. You know how Isabella can be if she thinks she’s being ignored.”
Evan’s stomach dropped, the blaze of hope they might work things out flash freezing into an icy brick.
With a slow, deep breath, he shoved the disappointment down to where it wouldn’t affect the rest of the night, because he had rich people to cajole and a foundation to pimp.
His broken heart wasn’t going anywhere. He could deal with it later.
“Right, yeah. Livie’s been excited to see you too. You should finish catching up.”
Heath nodded, stepping up to the door and pushing it open. “Looks like you have office hours.”
He leaned to the side and glimpsed Lucy’s figure standing just beyond the front desk. He let out a sigh. “Looks that way. Send her in, I guess.”
“It was good to see you, Evan.”
He slipped his hands into his pockets and nodded. “Yeah, you too.”
“Congratulations on the foundation. I’m glad you’re doing well, and I hope tonight is successful.”
The door closed, and he turned to press his palms against the conference table at the center of the room.
He begged the stinging in his eyes and nose to fuck off before Lucy walked in.
He’d never live it down if she caught him feeling actual emotions.
A side effect of dealing with everything he’d repressed was that once they got a taste of freedom, it became harder and harder to stuff them back in the cage.
If he broke down now, he wasn’t sure he could stop.
“Evan?”
Shit. He sucked in a deep breath and swallowed hard, shaking off all thoughts of Heath so he could focus on relationship mistake number one.
“Lucy.”
“You have questions?”
If he’d give Lucy credit for anything, it was sentiment not being a problem for her. If it were possible, she’d have patented stoicism.
“What do you think?”
Her lips rolled inward, then returned with an audible pop. “I know you’re angry.”
“Actually, I’m not. Not anymore.”
“You’re just disappointed?”
He let his eyes roll shut and counted to five. “Lu, I’m trying here. Work with me.”
One side of her mouth lifted. “Sorry.”
“Are you?”
“Yes, believe it or not.”
“What I want to know is why. Why say yes? Why go through the planning and bullshit if you never intended to show up?”
She sighed and ran the fingers of her right hand over the ring set on her left. “Initially, I had intended to show up.”
“You’re late. Also, polygamy isn’t officially legal, and I’m in love with someone else.”
She blinked at him. “Are you?”
He scratched the tingling at the back of his neck. “I think so. Maybe. Christ, I’m so fucked up I can’t even be sure.”
“Heath?”
“Yeah.”
Her smile was warm, genuine, and that was a side of her he hadn’t seen in a long time. “He’s very cute.”
“You know that he and Chris…”
“I do, and I’ve given him hell for years over how he treated Heath.”
Evan let that settle into his brain. Heath—and his brother.
“It was only ever a kiss, Evan. Chris just doesn’t feel that way about him.”
“Then why not tell him that? Why string him along for years?”
“Because he’s also fucked up. I know your personal hatred for your father blinds you to everyone else’s experience, but he’s put Chris through hell too.”
“Yes, inheriting a Fortune 500 company is a terrible burden.”
“It actually is, and I think you know that. I think you also know that while you’ve been under one thumb, he’s been under the other.”
“I haven’t made it to the forgiveness part of therapy yet.”
She snorted, a sound so very her that it broke the ice queen mirage. “Let me give you some talking points, then. Imagine being your father’s firstborn, the heir to the Westin dynasty. Think about what that entails.”
Evan gave her his thinking face, secretly loathing that she was making a valid point.
“Your father is on Chris’ ass all day, every day. He’s calling, emailing, texting at all hours. I finally sent him a cease and desist and threatened legal action if he didn’t let my husband sleep a full eight hours.”
Her husband. That had once been the role he’d intended to play. Now, the very thought of where he’d be and what he’d have missed out on was debilitating.
“He could quit.”
Another snort, this time with an eye roll. “He’s not an idiot, Evan. He also has plans for when your father is no longer in the way.”
“Should you be telling me this?”
“Let me rephrase. When your father passes from entirely natural causes, Chris wants to take the business in a new direction. He’s already making the necessary connections and moving assets in increments Charles hasn’t caught on to.
Technically, your dad has passed him the torch, but he could still pitch a fit if he figures it out. ”
“Again, should you be telling me this?”
She shrugged. “Chris would tell you himself if you’d let him.”
“How would you feel about that?”
“About what? You two having an actual relationship? I’d be thrilled. He looks up to you and has been trying to catch your attention for years.”
“Looks up to… What are you playing at?”
“Again, blind. You have always stood up to your father. Yes, you played his game, but you were a thorn in his side while doing it. I think even your father admires that about you.”
“You’re not gonna sell me on a relationship with him, so don’t even try.”
“I wouldn’t, nor would I want you to. The man is small and bitter for no good reason.”
“So what’s the story? Did my brother knock you over the head and drag you to Vegas the morning of our wedding?”
“Not exactly, but it was very Hollywood.”
Her laugh was bright, and her eyes shone. For her, it was a nice memory. For him, it was a flashback to the day he and Heath met. This was the grand story he hadn’t been able to deliver. Shame Heath hadn’t stuck around to hear it.
“Tell me.”
“I was literally in my hotel suite, in my dress, when he burst in and dropped to one knee.”
“And you said yes.”
She nodded, fiddling with the rings again. “I’d been in love with him for a while, but despite a few close encounters, he’d never confirmed he felt the same. I think it was because of you.”
“I’m… sorry?”
“No, I’m sorry, and I mean it. I shouldn’t have said yes. I shouldn’t have gone through with the planning. I do care for you, and a life together wouldn’t have been horrible, but it wasn’t really what I wanted.”
“You’re really fluffing my ego here, Lu.”
“Empathy isn’t my best trait, Evan. You know that.”
“The special arrangements at the resort. Why?”
“I wanted you to know I was sorry.”
It was his turn to blink. “By rubbing my dead mother in my face and stranding me on two sides of an island alone?”
“How often do you drive past that house and check on the flowers?”
He looked at his shoes. “Occasionally.”
“I obviously don’t have the full picture of your relationship with your mom, but those roses are important to you. They’re a tangible connection to her. I wanted her there with you, so you wouldn’t be alone.”
“That is dangerously close to empathy, you know.”
“I said it isn’t my best trait, not that I don’t have any at all.”
“Okay, so the stranding?”
“Evan, you’re always on. I remembered how you’d sometimes wish you could disappear to an island and just exist as you are, especially after rough cases. That was a day totally to yourself, to just exist.”
He coughed to smother the tickle in his throat that felt uncomfortably like a sob trying to sneak free. “Dammit, Lucy.”
“What?”
He couldn’t tell her how sweet that was, because she’d roundhouse kick him for implying she was capable of such a thing. “What about the plane?”
“I’ve flown commercial on that route. It’s awful. After everything else, I thought you’d appreciate a ride.”
He thought back to the commercial flights and where they’d led him. “I dunno. Commercial isn’t so bad.”
“Have you told him?”
“Told who what?”
“Coy isn’t your best trait.”
“I just talked to him. He’s not interested in picking back up.”
“Did you tell him how you feel about him?”
“So he could tell me to my face that wasn’t what he’d been looking for? I’m good, thanks.”
“Evan…”
“Listen, I’m happy for you and Chris, truly. You are clearly good for him, and he for you. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. The bachelor thing isn’t all that bad.”
“You’re a terrible liar for a lawyer.”
He dragged a hand down his face. “Lu, go find Chris and tell him to give my foundation a ton of money. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you dismissing me?”
“For my own sanity, yes.”
Amusement curled her lips into a smile, but she paused before passing through the doorway. “He looks at you with hearts in his eyes, Evan. I don’t know what happened on the island, but he’s still interested.”
“Lots of money, Lu. Tons.”
He waited for the click of the door before dropping his head onto the desk and letting some of the disappointment leak out. All 5’11 and a buck seventy of it. It was too heavy to carry alone.