Chapter 37
. . .
“Where’s Evan?”
Heath frowned at both Isabella and Olivia. “You knew he’d be here.”
They had the decency to look guilty. “I swear I didn’t know when I asked you. Liv told me about the gala and said she wanted me to come, but I really don’t care for these things. Too stuffy.”
“So you dragged me into your personal hell?”
The guilt faded into ire with a jut of her hip. “I thought my good friend would make it bearable. Maybe even fun. I forgot he’s a sourpuss.”
“I’m not… I didn’t mean… Goddammit, this is a mess.”
Olivia wrapped her arm around his waist and led him toward one of the buffet tables. She and Isabella ordered some wine, and he got a seltzer that immediately reminded him of the private beach and therefore made him even more miserable.
“Do you want to talk?”
“Honestly? No, I’d kinda like to be alone for a minute.”
Isabella pointed to the large French doors lining the back of the room. “The balconies are open and have those torch things going, if you want to get some air.”
“I might take advantage of that, thank you. I’m sorry if I’m ruining your night.”
She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “You’re not. This is actually a very nice gala. Low-key. Olivia will keep me company until you’re feeling more social.”
That implied his desire to be alone would abate before the evening ended, when in fact he was sorely tempted to diminish into the west, never to be heard from again.
There were a smattering of people on the balconies when he investigated. Most were chatting or smoking. A couple were getting better acquainted. In the end, it wasn’t alone enough, so he walked the outskirts of the ballroom with his beverage, settling on a bench near the auction display.
Some lovely items had been donated. Art, jewelry, and a vacation package to Stout Rock. Who could that be from?
One item in particular had him standing up and approaching the glass case. A book. Specifically, a first edition Huckleberry Finn bound in leather.
He made a noise low in his throat, a sort of high-pitched, strangled wheeze that garnered concerned glances from the few people close enough to hear it. It took great effort to resist pressing his face right against the glass.
“I knew you’d home right in on that one.”
Christian. Heath straightened up and rolled his shoulders, reminding himself how angry and disappointed he was. How unmoved he would be by those puppy-dog brown eyes, and the way he bit his lip when he was discussing something that excited him.
“Yes, well… It’s very rare, as I’m sure you know.”
Heath looked at the man next to him. The man he’d once thought hung the moon.
He was taller by an inch or two, his body lean rather than broad, and though his mouth was nice, not too thin, it also wasn’t lush.
It lacked the mischievous curl at the corners, too.
That ever-present undercurrent that shenanigans could break out at any moment.
“Heath, I really am sorry.”
He sighed. He’d heard those words from that mouth so many times that they’d lost their meaning. “I know you think you are, but you always think you are. I truly am tired of forgiving you, only to have it bite me in the ass.”
“I deserve that.”
Yes, you certainly do!
“I think we can still be friends, but I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for you anymore. If you want to see me, you’ll make the time.”
“That is very fair.”
“Congratulations, by the way. On the marriage.”
The smile that curled his lips was gentle, almost serene. “I should have told her how I felt years ago, but I thought she was in love with my brother, and I didn’t want to get in the way.”
“You might have told someone how you felt about her.” Like me, he wanted to snip. It would have saved him years of pining.
“I never meant to lead you on, you know.”
He scoffed, hoping it sounded legitimate. “Nonsense.”
“I’m serious, Heath. I knew you were interested, and it wasn’t that I didn’t consider it. It just didn’t…”
“Click?”
“Exactly.”
“There’s been a lot of that going around.”
Christian gave him a curious glance. “Evan?”
“Yes.”
“I have to be honest, I’m a little surprised. I thought for sure you’d get on. Especially the way you two were bantering back and forth…”
“Did you think he was gay?”
He scoffed. “Not gay, no. But he’s always had an eye for pretty things, and it didn’t matter what body they were in. I just don’t think he put two and two together until he met you.”
“Did you just call me pretty?”
He had the decency to blush. “Heath, I know you think otherwise, but you are incredibly handsome. You’re also interesting, and funny, and more loyal than I ever deserved.”
“We got on, by the way. Very well, actually.”
Christian’s face turned serious. “What happened? Please tell me he didn’t hurt you. I thought for sure—”
“He didn’t. Not intentionally. The thing with your father, though.”
“I’ve never named names, but I’ve told you the stories, Heath. It was worse for him.”
“He said he’s in therapy.”
“I heard. I can’t speak to it, because I can’t speak to him at all without it devolving into glares and grunts, but Evan is unstoppable when he puts his mind to something.”
Yet he’s let me go twice now without argument. “I’ve gotten that impression, yes.”
“He’s also very guarded. Comes with the territory in our family. Being able to pick and choose what you show people is a survival tactic. It’s also handy in court. I’m sorry you never got to see who he really is.”
“Which is?”
“Christ, he’s funny. Incredibly intelligent. A right bastard when he wants to be, though it’s somehow charming. He loves to push buttons. I especially thought you’d work out well for that.”
“Because I enjoy being annoyed?”
“Are you saying you don’t?”
Heath huffed. “An odd sort of compliment, is all I’m saying.”
“But you do enjoy it, because it leads to sparring, and I know you love that.”
He did, dammit. Going toe-to-toe with someone verbally was incredibly stimulating, both mentally and physically—if it was with the right person. Evan especially could tie him in knots of pleasure with his teasing, mentally and physically…
He dared a glance across the room to where Evan was shmoozing and let his thoughts off leash. Elegant. Poised. Pulling smiles and laughter from the group with obvious ease, Evan was a man in his element. An element Heath wanted no part of, yet still he yearned to be on that man’s arm.
“I think I might have feelings for him.”
Christian had the nerve to beam. “That’s wonderful! Why do you look miserable?”
Heath gave him a pointed stare. “My track record with your demographic is abysmal.”
“Evan is a unicorn among my demographic. He wasn’t born into this bullshit. He was dragged, kicking and screaming. Literally.”
Heath flinched as though struck. The image of a young freckle-faced boy being pulled from the only home he’d known hit brutally hard.
“What if he changes his mind and elopes with a woman?”
It was Christian’s turn to flinch. “I suppose I also deserve that.”
Yes, you most certainly do.
“Here’s what I’ll say to that. He’s forty-five years old and never once looked at a man until he met you. Two weeks with you and he quit his job, entered therapy, and turned this pet project into a powerhouse.”
“Who’s to say it was my influence? Anything could have motivated him.”
Christian chuckled, stepping away from the display. “He’s been walking the same path for three decades, Heath. Nothing small was changing his trajectory. Just something to think about.”
Christian left him with that thought, the weight of which dragged him back to sitting on the bench.
Across the room, he spied Evan now chatting with Olivia and an older couple, who appeared utterly charmed by whatever he was saying.
It struck him again how utterly at ease Evan was while surrounded by people whose bank accounts could feed a small nation.
It was another reminder that a life with Evan would require routinely having to truss himself like a turkey in the name of charity. That he’d have to make small talk with the sorts of people who thought public education was a waste of tax dollars and used summer as a verb.
“Why are you sitting in the shadows, leaving that gorgeous man alone with these predators?”
Andres. Just what he needed while sitting at rock bottom. Was there no justice?
“He’s free to move about the world. I have no say in what he does.”
Andres had a carefully practiced series of expressions he used in public spaces, because it was important to him that he convey his emotions while looking utterly flawless. So when his face twisted with outrage, Heath knew it was possibly the first genuine reaction he’d had in ages.
“You spurned him? After months of pining and wailing and gnashing of teeth, you threw him back in the pond?”
“Where do you get off lecturing me? You conspired with Christian to make me go on that vacation. This is entirely your fault.”
Icy blue eyes rolled to the ceiling as Andres blew a nonexistent tuft of hair out of his eyes.
“Heath, you have been lonely and miserable for years. This was an opportunity to shove you out of your comfort zone and force you to do something nice for yourself. Who needs to be forced on vacation? You, because you’re a goddamn curmudgeon. ”
“Am not.”
“Are too. You are also smitten with that man, and I will haunt your ancestors if you don’t get your ass over there and grapple him immediately.”
“That’s aggressive.”
“He looks like he can take it—and he’d probably also enjoy it.”
He would. Lord, would he. Heath’s skin still sang the praises of those fingers and that mouth.
“You’re making the face again. Will you please go tell him you’re crazy about him so he can take you back to his castle? Just once before I die, I want to see you smile.”
“I’m never forgiving you for this.”
“Yes, yes. You’re welcome.”