8. Bianca
Chapter 8
Bianca
One Week Later
A fresh coat of paint always feels like such a victory. And rolling the final coat of paint over my ceiling feels good. It’s been a week since it caved in on me, and the repair is finally finished, thanks to Silas and Felix. They’ve been working practically nonstop. Lance helped as he could, as did Michael and Elijah, but most of the work has definitely been Silas.
He’s up on a ladder now, fixing a recessed light that was damaged during the storm, and I have to actively force my attention away from him. The man captures my attention unlike anyone else.
I’ve even been praying about it.
Asking for guidance when it comes to my feelings for him. And even though I’ve gotten a lot closer to God since Pastor Redding gave me the old, worn Bible I’ve been studying, there still hasn’t been a clear answer.
But I keep praying while I focus on rebuilding myself as a woman of faith. Honestly, I’ve been praying about everything lately. Every time a thought enters my mind that makes me anxious or angry, I pray.
Letting go of the anger is a big one for me, and while I’m still not there yet, I know I’m getting closer. I can feel that my heart is lighter, my soul less weary.
“Done.” Silas climbs down the ladder and sets the now empty box on the counter.
“Looks good, thanks.”
He grunts and starts collecting his tools, placing them in an orange box. He pauses a moment, gaze locked on the Bible sitting open on my counter. “Still reading it?”
“I am.”
“Have you found whatever it is you’re looking for?” His tone is casual, but I get the sneaking suspicion that he’s prying for more. That he’s genuinely curious. It makes my heart leap with joy.
“Getting there,” I tell him. “I’ve found a lot more than I ever did on my own.”
Silas grunts again and lifts the toolbox as he heads for the door.
“Oh, listen, now that it’s done, I was thinking I could make dinner for you and Eloise? As a thank you.”
Silas turns to me. “I don’t need a thank you.”
“I know you don’t, but I would still like to do it. I was even going to invite the others over, too. Lance, Eliza, Michael, Reyna, Andie, and Felix. Elijah’s on duty tonight, but I was planning to take a plate over to him later.”
“A dinner party.”
“Basically.” Nerves twist in my gut. “I’ve never hosted one before, so it could be a total failure. But listen, if you don’t want to, I get it.”
The corners of his full lips quirk up. “I didn’t know you could cook.” It’s the first break in the ice separating us, and it’s so uplifting I can’t fight my own smile.
“Listen, Williamson, I’m actually a great cook.”
He’s silent a moment, and the air around us snaps with something I don’t dare call attraction. “What time?”
“Seven?”
“Sure. We’ll be there.”
I smile again, though I do my best to hide the pure joy I’m feeling since he accepted my invitation. “Great. See you both then. Eloise doesn’t have any food allergies, right?”
“Nope.” He takes his tools and leaves the duplex without another word, and I stand staring at the door with a wide smile for far longer than I should. I’ve spent nearly every day over the last week beside him, and this is the most he’s spoken.
Is it possible that I’m finally starting to break through the walls between us?
My cell rings, and I’m so focused on Silas that I actually jump. “Hello?” I answer, after checking the screen and seeing Reyna’s name on the screen.
“Hey! What are you up to?” Michael’s wife questions.
“Silas just finished up the final touches on my roof, and I’m getting ready to start doing some cleanup. I was actually going to call you, though.”
“Yeah? What about?”
“Well, I know Michael ended up staying in town and turning down that protective detail so he could be here to help with the storm damage, so I wanted to invite you both over to dinner. I’m inviting the others, too. You just called me first.”
She’s quiet a moment. “Is Silas going to be there?”
“He helped, so yeah. I invited him.”
“Good.” I can hear her smile through the phone. “What can I bring?”
“Just yourself.”
“You said you had cleaning to do?”
“I did,” I reply, nervous at the inquisitive nature of her questions.
“Good. I’ll come help. I’m going to pick up Eliza and Andie, too. I’ll let Margot know, and she can head over as soon as she’s done at the B&B.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Panic claws at my throat. They want explanations. Conversation I’ve been dodging for the last week.
“Listen, Bianca, you’ve been avoiding us while you worked on your house. Now it’s done, so we’re coming. Love you, okay? Bye!” Reyna hangs up the phone, and I stare down at it slowly, trying to figure out why I wanted girlfriends. Isn’t this why I avoided having them? So I didn’t have to partake in idle conversations about life things I’d rather not discuss?
And over cleaning?
My two least favorite things.
I take a deep breath and survey the dust-covered living room. My replacement couch is currently covered in plastic sheeting, my rug protected by painter’s cloth.
I guess help wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
And I am trying to be more open, so maybe this won’t be so bad?
After pulling up the cloth on the floor, cleaning paint brushes and rollers, and taking the paint cans to the garage, the doorbell rings.
I laugh to myself as I head over and pull open the door. Eliza, Reyna, and Andie are standing on the other side, dressed to clean, wide smiles on their faces.
“For you, dear friend,” Reyna offers me a to-go coffee cup.
“Thank you.”
“It’s the least we could do since Reyna is forcing conversation.” Andie winks and steps inside. “Whoa, this looks amazing. Can barely tell that the ceiling caved in last week.”
“Silas did good work.”
“And speaking of Silas,” Reyna starts, setting her purse down.
“We’re just going to jump right in, aren’t we?” I ask.
“We are. Because I didn’t get the full story out of Michael. He gave me a brief overview after I called him out for being grouchy.”
I wince. “Sorry. I know I deceived you guys. That’s not even the half of it. I brought a threat straight to your door.”
“Please.” Eliza shakes her head. “You didn’t do that. You’re not responsible for the actions of others, Bianca.”
“I still lied.”
“You misled,” Andie replies. “But we forgive you for it.”
Even though I know I should be cleaning, I take a seat on the plastic-covered couch. The others do the same. Andie and Reyna both sit on the couch alongside me, while Eliza sits on the ottoman directly in front.
“My father was a cruel man,” I tell them. “But I didn’t see him as one until the day he killed my mother. Up until my seventeenth birthday, I thought he was the greatest man in the world.” I shake my head. “Talk about a rude awakening.” Because it makes me uncomfortable to be vulnerable, I offer a soft laugh. “I was way wrong about all of it. Anyway. He was a murderer, and I was afraid, so I ran to the only other person I thought could protect me.” This is the part that I kept from everyone else, including Silas. The moment I never wanted to share but feel as though I should. “I was engaged to the son of a friend of my father’s. Looking back, I should have known. But I didn’t think my father was anything more than a murderer. I never would have thought he was behind—well—the drugs, guns…any of it.”
“And how could you?” Reyna asks, reaching forward to rest her hand on my leg. “You couldn’t have known, Bianca.”
“I should have though. Anyway, I went to Yarrow in hopes that he could help me get away. I was terrified. He tried to force himself on me that night, and when I refused, he slapped me.” I can still feel the sting of the hit even after all these years.
Eliza gasps.
Andie looks ready to hunt him down.
Reyna is furious.
“I kneed him in the groin, then took off, stealing all the money I could find. I paid someone to erase who I was, and I lived on my own until my eighteenth birthday when I joined the Army. It was by accident that I went in the recruiting office at all, to be honest. I thought I was being followed, and it was the closest building to me. I walked in, and when I walked out I knew my father would never be able to touch me again.”
“Oh, Bianca.” Eliza reaches forward and squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
I shrug, doing what I can to keep myself together. “I buried that part of me until my father sent someone after me. They grabbed me from base overseas and brought me to Cambodia to help my father. He was in rough shape when I arrived, but I could have saved him. When he started coding, though, I just put my hands up and stepped back. I watched him die.” A tear slips from my cheek now. “I watched him die on that table, and I felt no guilt over it.”
“He’d murdered your mother,” Andie tells me. “Destroyed your life and countless others.”
“It wasn’t even until then that I knew the true scope of who he was. I’d done my research on him after I ran, watching to see if he’d be pinned for my mother’s murder, but what I found was minimal compared to what I learned that day.” I try to recall what it felt like to stand there and watch the man who raised me die.
Try to recall if I felt any kind of remorse. But in that moment, I didn’t. And doesn’t that make me a bit of a monster, too?
“They were going to kill me for his death,” I tell them. “But they’d needed River’s permission to do so.”
“And then Silas came in,” Reyna says.
I laugh and wipe a tear away. “And then Silas came in. He looked like an animal,” I recall. “His hair wild, his chest bare and streaked with crusted blood, injuries, and dirt. His bare feet were bleeding, I even remember the trail of blood as he came into the room. He had to wrap his feet in gauze before we left that room so they couldn’t see which direction we went.”
“Silas as a wild animal,” Reyna says. “I can see it.”
The door opens, and Margot bursts in. “I came as soon as I could. Matty is watching the front desk. What did I miss?” She sets her bag down.
“Bianca has a psychotic father who died due to a medical complication, she was engaged to a man whose butt she kicked when he attacked her, and Silas looked like a wild animal when he came in to rescue her,” Andie says.
I laugh, enjoying the light tone she uses. It lessens a bit of my own weight. “When you say it like that.”
“I have a way with words,” Andie replies with a shrug.
“So, Silas, wild animal.” Margot sits beside Eliza on the ottoman. “What happened next?”
“We spent a month together in that jungle. I’d been fighting to keep the infection in two of his injuries localized, but they were stab wounds I later found out were reopened every single day over the course of his captivity. The skin was tattered, and it was a constant struggle to keep him standing. But he was so positive. So happy.”
“Silas? Happy? Positive?” Andie looks around the room. “Like, am I the only one who thinks he can be a bit of a grump sometimes?”
I know she’s trying to lighten the mood, but comparing him then to who he is now hurts. Because while I recognize losing his sister took a toll, I can’t help but feel like I broke him first. “He wasn’t like that then,” I say. “His mood is the only thing that kept me going when I wanted to just give up. He made me a mud cake for my birthday.”
“Really?” Reyna presses a hand to her heart.
“That’s so sweet!” Margot exclaims.
“It was. I fell in love with him while we were out there, barely surviving. It was the best birthday I’d had since before my mother died. He made it special by just listening and being there.”
“Bianca, that is adorable,” Andie says.
“It was,” I admit. “Until it wasn’t. Not too long after that, we were tracked down by men sent by my uncle, and he found out who I was. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me, with such disgust that I could feel the hatred in it. We were rescued by his cousins. They have a company that tracks down lost people, and his sister sent them after us. After we were brought back stateside, we went our separate ways. Both of us needed to return to our command so we could be debriefed.”
“And you never saw him again?”
I shake my head at Margot’s question. “Not until Lance called and asked for my help after Michael was missing. He knew we’d been friends and that I had a medical background, but I had no idea he knew Silas, too, or that he was the one helping track him through the swamps.”
“Oh, man.” Andie shakes her head. “That’s a lot.”
“He still hates me,” I tell them.
“No, he doesn’t,” Eliza replies. “A man who hates you wouldn’t do that.” She points to the ceiling.
“I lied to him.”
“You did, to all of us,” Andie agrees. “But I have to agree with Eliza on this one, a man doesn’t offer to patch a hole in the ceiling when he hates you.”
“I wouldn’t even say he’s trying to keep his distance,” Reyna says. “Maybe he’s just trying to find his footing. You guys do work together now, and with a history like that—” She whistles. “It takes a lot of processing.”
“Did anything happen between you two out there?” Andie asks.
“He kissed me,” I admit. “We were watching the rain fall and talking about our lives before, and we just sort of looked at each other and he leaned in. But it was just a kiss. And the next day, everything fell apart.”
Silence surrounds us as the memory of that day settles in my mind. It had been a soft kiss, a gentle caress of lips and nothing more, yet it stoked a fire in my heart that hasn’t gone out since.
“Who knew Silas had this whole romantic side to him,” Andie says.
“Had being the key word,” I reply with a sad smile as I stand. “I better get this place cleaned up, I still have dinner to make.”
“Oh, I almost forgot!” Reyna laughs.
“You guys really don’t have to help me.”
“Please, we are absolutely helping,” Margot says. “We’re family. It’s what we do for each other.”
Tears blur my vision as I nod. Family. I haven’t had a family in a long time, and this is the second time in a week that word has been used for me. I can only pray it’s not a mistake that I stay.