9. Silas
Chapter 9
Silas
“ Y ou look contemplative.”
I glance over as Pastor Redding takes a seat beside me on the park bench. Eloise is laughing happily as she runs up and down the playground equipment that resembles a pirate ship.
“A bit,” I admit. “Just a lot on my mind these days.”
“I can understand that.” He leans back. “Eloise has grown so much in the time you guys have been here.”
“She has,” I reply. “What has you out and about?”
“I went and met with Juniper Kline. She’s been having some troubles lately and wanted someone to talk to.”
While I don’t know Juniper well, I do know she’s one of Mrs. McGinley’s close friends. “I hope everything’s okay.”
“It will be,” he replies with a smile. “How are things with you? I hear you patched Bianca’s roof.”
“A tree fell through it.”
“I’m eternally grateful no one was seriously injured in that storm. It was a rough one, though not as bad as it could have been.”
“It was our first hurricane,” I tell him, nodding to Eloise. “She was pretty scared for most of it, but as soon as—” I trail off, not wanting to admit it out loud.
“As soon as?” he presses.
“I carried Bianca over and cleaned her leg. Eloise fell asleep on her.”
“Aww, that’s sweet. Sometimes having someone other than a parental figure around helps. And sometimes it does the opposite. There was a hurricane, oh wow, about two decades ago, that came through here. Terrified my daughter, Kassandra. She refused to sleep until our neighbors came over after their front window broke. They have a daughter about her age, and the two of them just fell right to sleep on the floor.” He smiles at the memory. “I remember thinking to myself, how are they sleeping through this chaos?” He laughs. “Kids are resilient.”
“That they are,” I agree. “Bianca has been reading that Bible you gave her,” I blurt. I’m not sure why I say it. I definitely don’t want to be talking faith with a pastor, but the words just pour out.
He smiles. “Good. I’m glad she is.”
“Yeah. She seems better, now that she’s been reading it.”
“God’s Word will do that,” he replies.
“For some.”
He turns toward me. “You don’t think it would for you?”
“It never has before.”
“Never?”
“Not that I’ve seen,” I reply. “And I’m not interested in trying again.”
I expect him to push. To pressure me with scripture or tell me that I’m wasting my time not actively reading the Bible and attending church. Instead, Pastor Redding stands and offers me a kind, understanding smile. “You let me know if you ever change your mind on that. I think we could have some things to talk about.”
It’s ridiculous that I’m this nervous.
But I’ve changed my shirt three different times in the last ten minutes as I prepare to head over to Bianca’s for dinner. I can already hear the people over there, their mumbled voices happy as they visit.
It’s a dinner party.
There will be a lot of people over there. So why do I feel like I might be sick to my stomach?
“Uncle Lassy!” Eloise calls out. “Your phone is ringing!”
I head into the kitchen where I left my phone, and check the readout. As soon as I see my cousin’s name on the screen, I answer. “Hey, Bradyn.”
“Hey, cousin! Good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too, what’s going on?”
“Not much. We just got back from a job in Ireland.”
“Ireland, huh? Exciting.”
“Yeah, it was an easy one. Nineteen-year-old ran off and married her high school sweetheart, whom mom and dad did not approve of. They thought she was kidnapped, but turns out they were just on their honeymoon. Happy ending for her, but they’re not pleased.”
I laugh softly. “Well, glad she ended up being okay.”
“Same. How are things in your neck of the woods? Still enjoying Maine?”
“It’s nice. Eloise loves the beach.”
“We have beaches in Texas, you know.”
I snort. “Galveston is no Maine.”
He laughs. “Fair enough. We just miss seeing you guys.” After I’d adopted Eloise, we spent some time with my cousins on their ranch in North Texas. I’d nearly stayed…but then I got the call from Lance that Michael was missing. Eloise stayed with my uncle and his wife on the ranch, while I’d flown out to help.
And then I’d seen her.
Bianca looked exactly like she did all those years ago, and even though I never want to admit it, she’s the reason I moved to Hope Springs. Because I wanted to see her again. I wanted to keep seeing her.
Even if it was at a distance.
“We miss seeing you guys, too. We’ll be out for Christmas, though.”
“Good. Mom will be happy to hear that.” His tone shifts. “How is everything else?”
“Fine,” I reply. He knows Bianca is here. That she’s right next door. That I’m still struggling with the weight of a past I’d wanted to die with me. And while I didn’t tell him who she truly was until she was long gone, he was far more understanding than I would have been if the situation was flipped.
“Silas, I’m here if you need to talk.”
“I know. But I’m fine. Things are good. Work is good, though…”
“What?”
“Do you know if River Culvers is still active?”
“I can look into it. Why do you ask?”
“A man turned up dead. Had ties to the Culvers family.”
“Do you think they’re coming for you?”
“Not me,” I reply.
“Bianca. I can look into it, for sure.”
“Thanks. We haven’t had any other issues show up, and no one else has been lurking around town that we know of, but I can’t shake the feeling this wasn’t a coincidence.”
“You know how I feel about those,” Bradyn replies.
“Same as I do. Which means you don’t think they happen.” I sigh into the phone. “I don’t want to lose what we’ve got here, but I can’t risk Eloise.”
“We’ll get to the bottom of it,” he promises. “And you know you’ve always got a place here if you ever want to return home.”
“Thanks. Talk soon.” I end the call and set my phone down, then lean on the counter. I should take Eloise to Texas. Let her stay with my aunt and uncle until we get all this figured out, but until I know there’s something to figure out, I can’t bear to part with her. There haven’t been threats to my life or hers, and honestly no active threats toward Bianca either.
And no movement for a week.
The best move here is to stay put until I know more. But the first sign of danger will have us on a plane so I can get her to safety.
“You ready?” I ask her as I grab my keys and phone off the counter.
“Yes! Can I bring my coloring stuff?”
“Sure thing, pack it up.”
We’re just stepping out onto the porch when Bianca’s door opens for Lance and Eliza. I’m standing just out of sight, but close enough to hear Eliza say, “She wants her auntie Bianca.” Then hands her daughter, Mable, to Bianca who takes her, a wide smile on her face.
“Her auntie Bianca loves her so much. Yes, she does!” she says, turning in a slow circle.
All of the oxygen seems to disappear from the air around me as I stand here, watching the scene play out in the doorway. Wearing a floral dress, her hair braided down her back, Bianca looks absolutely stunning.
But it’s more than that.
It’s the joy that encircles her. The happiness practically radiating from her.
Bianca’s emerald gaze finds mine as she stops and my stomach twists.
“Hey,” I manage.
“Hey,” she repeats.
I clear my throat. “Thanks for the invite.”
“Are you making s’ghetti?” Eloise pushes into the house.
“I am,” Bianca replies with a smile.
My niece beams at her. “That’s my favorite!”
“I might have heard something about that.” Bianca’s gaze finds mine again, and I have to force myself to look away. Thankfully, Lance and Eliza head into the house, so I follow them, doing my best to keep myself from looking at Bianca again.
Space. That’s what we need.
“Okay, baby Mable, want to help me stir some sauce?” she asks.
Mable giggles in response, so Bianca heads back into the kitchen.
“Just waiting to burn out, huh?” Lance asks, a knowing grin on his face.
“Yeah. Just waiting to burn out,” I reply.
He laughs. “That’s what I thought too.” He claps me on the back. “Let’s get you some water. Looks like you could use a cooldown.”
“I have to say, Bianca, that was some of the best spaghetti I’ve ever had,” Pastor Redding compliments as he stands and starts collecting plates.
“Thank you. Let me grab those.” Bianca gets up and tries to take the plates from him, but he keeps them just out of reach.
“Nope. You cooked, we clean.”
“But I really don’t mind.”
“We do.” Kyra stands and collects the rest of the empty plates.
“Uncle Lassy, can I go color now?”
“Sure thing, Nugget. Your bag is on the couch.”
She hops down from her chair and heads into the house. She kneels at Bianca’s coffee table and starts pulling out the coloring book and crayons she’d insisted on bringing. Just watching her calms the nerves that have been twisting ever since I saw Bianca in that doorway.
I should have insisted on keeping the boundaries I’ve built in place. But even as I know they should have remained firm, I feel them slipping a bit more each day. Especially over the last week as we worked so closely together.
That voice in my head that keeps telling me it’s not her fault who she was born to grows louder and louder each day. It reminds me that she wasn’t sure she could trust me and that’s why she wasn’t honest.
Yet whenever I reach for those voices, hoping to cling to it, another one slips in…and it speaks of betrayal.
“You good?”
I turn toward Lance. “Fine. Why?”
“You just look a bit strained.”
As I fully face the table again, I’m surprised to see that it’s just him and me sitting down. Even Michael has gotten up and gone in to help the Reddings’ with cleanup. And Bianca stands at the edge of her porch beside Eliza who is cradling baby Mable.
The wind picks up a strand of her hair, and she smiles.
It’s like a punch to the chest.
“Not strained,” I manage. “Just focused.”
Lance follows my gaze. “Ahh, I get it.”
“No,” I insist. “Not on her. I’ve got a lot going on.”
“Sure. I get it.”
I start to argue. Start to push back. But then Bianca turns to face me and I find myself captivated by her once more. Bianca has always had a hardened look about her. Pain that she’s transformed into armor. But tonight, she looks free of it.
Like a woman unburdened.
Is it truly the Bible that’s bringing her so much peace? Or is this an act because she’s scared about what might be coming?
Lance’s phone dings, pulling my attention away from the dark-haired beauty. “No update. Sheriff Vick still has nothing.” He shoves the phone back into his pocket. “Either it was all coincidence—which I’m not buying—or whoever killed him is laying low. Either way, I don’t like it.”
“Me neither. I asked my cousin Bradyn to look into it. He’s got some good intel on the Culvers’.”
“Good,” Lance replies. “We could use all the help we can get.” He sighs. “Bianca said this guy is patient. What do you know about him?”
“Not much,” I reply truthfully. “He’s Lucian’s half-brother, born due to an affair his father had with his secretary.”
“Was it a family business?”
“No. Lucian started it using the contacts his father had as a defense attorney. His father died when Lucian was twenty-five, and it’s suspected that it was murder. A way to get his dad out of the way so he could grow the organization without fear of being caught.”
Lance studies me. “What do you think?”
The man picks up on subtleties most miss. It’s what made him a great Ranger, captain, and what makes him good at his job now. “His dad was an abusive drunk and had an affair. I believe he killed him out of revenge after his dad turned over his client list.”
“Then that’s what we’ll go with. When did Lucian bring River into the organization?”
“Right after he killed his father. Before that, River had been living in a halfway house, drunk and addicted to every drug known to man.”
“So Lucian cleaned him up and brought him in as number two.”
I nod. It’s not hard for me to recall what’s in that file. I memorized it. And a man like River Culvers, and what he did to my team and me—not things you forget. “I didn’t know about Bianca. Lucian kept his family life under wraps, so she was never spotted.”
“When did you find out about her?”
“When the enemy tracked us down. They thought it was hilarious that I had no idea who she was.” She’d charged out of the brush, ready to fight for both our lives. My chest aches as I recall the terror on her face when they’d forced her to her knees in that jungle, their weapons trained on us both.
But they’d threatened me and she immediately pleaded for my life. Then threatened to take her own if they didn’t let her go.
I swallow hard. I’d been so angry at her for lying that I’d nearly blocked that out of my mind.
“What happened next?”
“My cousins showed up and subdued them. Apparently, my sister sent them after me once the U.S. government pronounced me dead. They’d found the bodies of the rest of my team and assumed I was gone, too. But she said she felt I was alive. ‘Twintuition’ is what she’d called it.” Another ache. Because I’d laughed it off when she’d said that, yet I’d known she was dead before the call even came in.
A feeling that I couldn’t ignore, like a piece of me was gone.
“So your cousins came after you. And then?”
“Nothing. At the time, I didn’t tell them who she was, and she didn’t offer the information. I did end up telling them later, but it was after we’d already gone our separate ways to be debriefed.”
“Why didn’t you tell your cousins who she was?”
I consider his question because it’s something I’ve wondered too. I remember how angry I was. How hurt. Bianca and I had walked through hell together and the entire time she’d been the daughter of a monster.
But then I remember the ferocity on her face when she’d charged out of those trees, ready to die for me. And I realize that even after all this time, my feelings for her had never left. They changed, sure, but I was only masking the love with anger because, somehow, it hurt less than admitting I’d been betrayed by someone who had come to mean everything to me in a short period of time.
“Repayment,” I tell him. “She saved my life, and I felt like I owed her one.”
Lance studies me because we both know it’s not the truth. Thankfully, though, he doesn’t call me out on it. Not directly, anyway. “One of these days you’re going to wish you’d been honest with her,” he says. “About how you feel.”
“Maybe,” I admit. “But not today.”
It’s near ten when Eloise finally falls asleep. After eating way too much dessert and having an insane amount of fun with everyone, she’d been bouncing off the walls. It had taken a warm bath, lavender oil in the diffuser in her room, and three bedtime stories before she’d finally started yawning.
After checking to make sure the front door is locked and retrieving the baby monitor from the kitchen counter, I head out onto the balcony that overlooks the ocean. It’s a clear night, the stars shining brightly overhead, and the sound of the ocean waves crashing into the rocks has the weight of my stress melting away.
That is, until I glance to my left and see Bianca on her side of the porch, Bible cradled against her chest, eyes closed. At first, I’m captivated by what a beautiful sight she makes in her white sweatshirt and seafoam green leggings, her hair loose around her face.
But then I realize that this level of relaxation is not normal for her. And I can’t tell if she’s breathing.
I leap over the divider separating us and rush to her side, adrenaline surging through my system.
Did they somehow get her while I was putting Eloise in bed? Was she sitting out here relaxing and—“Bianca?” I run my fingers over her cheek.
Her emerald eyes flutter open at the sound of my voice and she stares up at me, gaze still blurry from sleep.
Touching her feels right. Being near her feels right.
So I pull away and take a deep breath. “Sorry, you fell asleep on the porch.”
“What? I—” She sits up straighter, letting the Bible slide into her lap. “I’m sorry. What time is it?”
“Sleeping out here in the open isn’t smart.”
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was reading Proverbs and must have drifted off.”
“It’s not smart,” I repeat, feeling a familiar panic clawing at my chest. What if they’re watching, just waiting for a chance to strike?
Her gaze narrows on me. “Like I said, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She yawns, then sets the Bible on the small table beside a mug of what I imagine is now cold tea. “What time is it?” she asks again.
“Ten.”
“I haven’t been out here long then. I must have been really tired.” She makes no move to get up and go inside. “Eloise get to sleep okay?”
“Fine. She was wound up.”
Bianca smiles and looks out over the ocean. “Yeah, I imagine she was. Oh, to have that type of energy.”
“Are you really feeling better after reading a book?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. They’re ruder than I meant, but as a man on the hunt for his own answers, I find the change she’s seemingly undergoing intriguing.
“The Bible? Yes.”
“Really? They’re just words on a paper.”
“They’re really not,” she replies. “I mean, I used to think so too, but now—” She shakes her head. “I see them differently.”
“How so?”
“Because for the last week I’ve been reading the Bible every day, actively praying, and I have found more peace than I’ve ever had. It’s this feeling, this soul-deep warmth that we’re not accidents, but created by a God who loves us. Who chose us.”
“Created to go through pain. Misery. Loss. Grief. Sickness. You call that loving?”
“I do,” she replies without hesitation. “Because even though we face trials here, even though horrible things are carried out by people who are driven by sin, we’re not walking through it alone. We don’t face any of it by ourselves. And the peace that knowledge brings me is beautiful. I still have questions,” she adds when I don’t immediately respond. “Things that I need to work though, but I know that I won’t be alone.”
“Then explain the jungle. Explain what we went through there. Why would God, as loving as you say He is, allow us to suffer like that?”
Bianca stands and closes the distance between us. I start to move, start to take a step back and leap over the barrier separating our two porches, but instead, I remain rooted.
“I don’t know the answer to that, but I believe there’s a bigger purpose. A reason we went through what we did. And maybe it was as simple as bringing the two of us together.”
“We both know Lance. That would have brought us together.”
She reaches up and rests her slender hand on my chest. I stiffen beneath her touch, feeling both rooted and absolutely terrified. She’s always had that effect on me though—the ability to shut down every single thought and fear with a simple touch. “But you didn’t know Lance until you were in the hospital after being rescued. If you hadn’t been in that jungle, or if you’d died with your team, you would never have met him, and our paths never would have crossed. Now, I imagine you would’ve been okay with that, but I’m glad we met.” She smiles and withdraws her hand.
I wish she was still touching me.
Wish that I had the words to tell her that I would not have been okay with that. Because meeting her in that jungle was the only thing that made me want to keep living after I’d lost my team.