Chapter Fifteen
Iris
Noah was right. The bond is something that a human should never endure. I am simultaneously excited and terrified. I am suffocating, yet every breath I take is intense enough to pull a moan from my lips. My longing has been overwhelmed by awe. I don’t know what is my emotion or what is Remus’s.
I can’t think straight.
Remus’s touch is like fire as he rubs his palm along my sides, feeling every inch of my body.
His right hand settles on my breast, his thumb lightly rubbing my nipple as his left hand grips my jaw, holding me steady as his lips capture mine.
The arousal I feel is as intense as it’s ever been as it mingles with Remus’s.
In this moment, I don’t understand how he has been able to remain so calm by my side and refrain from touching me as long as he has.
I tremble against him as his tongue slips into my mouth, tangling with my own.
He tastes sweet, and I thrust my chest out to feel more of his touch as our arousal tangles.
My inner walls ache with the desire to be touched by him, and he senses it.
He breaks the kiss, his lips finding my throat as his hand drifts from my breast to my sex.
A small tingle emanates on my thigh, and I know instantly it’s Remus using his gifts to remove my clothes.
Seconds later, I feel his fingers between my legs, playing with my folds before slipping between them, finding my clit.
My hands fly to his hair as he pulls my skin between his teeth, and my vision blurs with pleasure from just his fingers.
He knows exactly how to bring me to my release, and I feel the heat of his erection pressed against my thigh as he stimulates me.
His kisses move lower, capturing my nipple between his lips as his finger teases my entrance, pushing inside. I release a shuddering breath, my fingers running along his arms before resting on his back. His skin is scorching beneath my touch, but I don’t mind.
“Ohh!” I moan as he adds another finger, his tongue lapping at my nipple. I toss my head back in pleasure as Remus pumps his fingers in and out of me, bringing me closer and closer to my release. I squeeze my eyes shut, thrusting my hips greedily into his palm as he pushes me over the edge.
My sex pulses with pleasure, sending warmth throughout me.
“Ah, Angh, Agh!” I moan, my eyes opening just in time to come face to face with the most ethereal set of eyes I’ve ever seen.
Remus stares at me in fascination, his eyes drinking in every piece of me.
I’m beautiful. I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
I know it without him having to voice it.
Our minds are connected, my pleasure all he desires in this moment.
I am all he desires—everything about me, including the smallest piece of my attention.
He wants all of it.
I cry out as his arms shift under me, my back once again coming flush with the wall as he steps between my legs, the tip of his cock pressing against my entrance.
Look at me.
The words never leave his lips, but they dance across my mind in a beautiful sequence, convincing me with little effort to continue to look into his eyes as he enters me.
He slowly stretches me as his hips shift, his eyes glittering before me, rivaling Llora with the swirl of color within them.
The blue inside of his eyes shines bright as his hips come flush with mine.
The warmth he emits, mingled with my sensitive sex, makes me squirm as I wrap my arms around his neck, holding myself steady.
His eyes lower to my lips just as my tongue dips out to wet them.
And he once again has me in a kiss so heated that I can only moan as I enjoy the feel of his chest coming flush with mine.
His hips thrust, his shaft reaching much deeper than his fingers, as he swallows my moans.
I can’t think straight as he holds me between him and the wall.
All that matters is the pleasure—his and mine.
I break the kiss as his thrusts become too much.
I heave in deep breaths just to moan as he holds me, plunging into me.
My nails dig into his back as warmth washes over me, settling on every inch of my flesh.
The symbol Remus and I share heats up against my flesh, but it isn’t painful. It fuels my desire.
You chose this. You chose life. You chose me.
The words are never spoken aloud, but they are in my mind.
They repeat as Remus’s thrusts become more urgent.
And as I pull back, I note that he looks otherworldly as he illuminates from within.
But I can’t voice my concern. I can only moan.
I can only hope that he doesn’t stop, since I am so close.
My inner walls come alive, clamping on Remus’s thrusting length, and I come apart in his arms. His thrusts are rough as he pushes me over the edge, and heat spreads from my head to my toes as I meet his thrusts, my hips grinding against him.
His cock swells inside of me, followed by the pleasant warmth of his release.
He shudders, his soft groan accompanied by him lightly biting my throat as we both find our release together.
The intensity of it is too much as our mingled emotions fill one another. My vision blurs slightly, and I gasp as it takes hold of me. It ripples up my spine, spreading throughout me, and I can’t separate any of it. It’s all one.
We are one.
It’s here again. It’s so vivid, so real. This world that feels familiar but isn’t. I try to look around, but I can’t. I’m focused on the sky. I know it isn’t the same sky as Xyrannis. It looks different. The star patterns are entirely different. I do not know this place.
“Is it you, Remus? Tell me.”
The voice that speaks to me is vaguely familiar. But even as I try to open my mouth to tell it that I am not Remus, I can’t. I can’t speak. I am immobile. And just as fast as I realize it, does the world fall away.
The pleasant rhythm of a palm against my back awakens me. It slowly rubs up and down and in circles, making me want to curl deeper into the bed as it lulls me back to sleep.
I slowly open my eyes, my heart fluttering in my chest when I am met with Remus’s gaze.
His head is propped up by his free hand as he watches me with a lazy expression.
I’m sure he doesn’t feel as exhausted as I do.
He doesn’t even look like he just went a few rounds with me in the bed.
As always, he looks perfect, his white hair draped behind him like a curtain.
He doesn’t react to me waking up, his eyes shifting to different parts of my body until he comes back to rest on my face. His hand moves away from my back to my face as he pushes a stray hair away.
“You are awake,” he says gently.
I quickly sit up, putting distance between us in the bed.
It’s all I can do to remain focused on why I should be upset.
I can’t think straight with him this close, and with each time he touches me or kisses me, my sense of self-preservation flies out the window.
I take a deep breath to calm myself, everything that occurred before we had sex comes to mind, including the frightening obsession that lingers behind that calm exterior.
His desires, his goals, his longings...his obsession. It is all focused on me.
“You used the bond,” I say.
Remus sits up with me, the blanket dropping to his waist.
“Yes,” he says.
He watches me carefully, letting the silence hang in the air before responding.
“That upsets you?” he asks, finally figuring out the emotion he’s seeing.
“You said you wouldn’t until we were ready,” I say.
“And you don’t think sex is a sign that we are ready?” he asks.
I release an irritated breath. “I think letting me know would have been better.”
Remus narrows his gaze, scoffing as he stands.
“I’ll keep that in mind next time,” he says.
The blankets fall entirely, revealing his naked form as he stands with his back to me, and I once again have to push down my desire as I try to have a serious conversation.
“There won’t be a next time. Not if you keep…using it to avoid answering my questions—or reality,” I say in aggravation.
Remus stops, turning to face me.
“Reality?” he asks, waiting for me to elaborate.
“Yes. The reality that you and I are not compatible, Remus,” I say.
Remus’s expression shifts. My heart speeds up as I take in his shift.
The small smile that usually graces his lips, the slight raise of his brow, they both disappear instantly, and he finally laughs.
Even as he approaches me, naked in all his glory, his lithe movement and the way the purple gleams in his eyes make me grip the sheets for comfort.
“I do wish you had remained in the bubble of the false reality I allowed you,” he says.
His words catch me off guard, and I know my face shows it because he laughs, but there’s no amusement in it.
“You and I are whatever I say we are, Iris. Do you really think that I would take you from your home world if I thought you were going to die in a few years? From the moment you and I bonded, your life became intertwined with mine. Have you not noticed yet how different your body is?”
I flinch as he lowers himself to the bed, pressing his palm against my cheek. My body instantly calms from his touch.
“That is your body calling to me, being one with me. You will live as long as I live, Iris. And your body will continue to change and adapt as it should,” he says.
I tense when I feel him in my head, and I tremble as I look at his expression.
“I don’t need to relate to you. I can feel everything that you feel for as long as you feel it. These rules and limitations you place upon yourself—on me, they do not apply to me.”
My mouth is dry from his revelation, and I don’t know how to take in the information as he shatters everything that I’ve been holding on to without remorse. I blink back my tears, but I know it’s useless as he lingers in my mind, knowing precisely what I’m feeling at this moment.
“So, when you said to choose life…there never really was a choice, was there?” I whisper. I don’t want him to answer. But I ask anyway.
“You’re a smart woman, Iris. What do you think?” he asks.
I want to vomit at the realization of all that it means.
There never was a choice. And I see now why Remus was so impatient when it came to me missing my world.
In his mind, it didn’t matter until he peeked into my mind and realized how much I missed it.
Everything up until now has been a means to get me to accept my “decision” and love this world as my own… love him as my own.
But there never was a decision. Only a means of getting me off Earth without too much of a fuss. I pull my face away from his touch, forcing myself to look him in the eyes.
“I didn’t choose you, Remus. I chose life,” I say.
Remus once again laughs, revealing the sharp canines that put me in this position in the first place. He leans even closer to me, his lips lingering over my ear.
“But I chose you.”