Chapter Thirty-One
Iris
I don’t know what it is this time around, but I can’t bring myself to speak.
My words have lodged themselves in my throat as I look Remus in the eyes—as I watch his patience grow thinner by the second.
Maybe it’s because in the past, I didn’t know what he was capable of.
But I am intimately aware of what Remus is capable of now.
I’ve seen it. And recently, the most brutal parts of it were used on me.
I still have nightmares that wake me up in a cold sweat from the feeling of having my bones crushed inside of me—from seeing the lack of recognition in that gaze as he decided I wasn’t worth the breath.
Remus narrows his gaze, shifting his attention back to the pin in his hands.
“Did you take this when my brother brought you to my home?” he asks.
My cheeks burn as I recall the interaction in his home.
I’ve been so busy with my own feelings that I’ve been able to ignore the truth that Remus is probably keeping himself occupied with others.
I can’t be angry at him. He doesn’t even remember me.
But I can still be hurt by it, as I reveal by the tears that slowly form.
I look away in irritation, my brow furrowing as I try to push down my frustration.
The last thing I want is to cry in front of him.
But the tears fall. I don’t know how I could respond to his question without shedding light on things that need to stay in the dark for now.
And what’s even more confusing is how Remus found me here so far away from where they were meeting.
It looks like my only option is a slow, torturous death because I can’t answer him.
Not when the result would be him asking his mother about the allegations.
I gasp as Remus grips my jaw, forcing me to look at him.
His touch is electric, and I have to fight the terror that settles in my spine as we look at one another.
I’d grown so used to the warmth I saw in his gaze when he looked at me.
Even the smile that would grace his lips anytime I stepped into the room.
But all I see in that otherworldly gaze is cold hatred.
“I didn’t steal it,” I finally say, hoping he’ll take my answer and allow me to go. I try to pull my face from his grip, but his grip tightens, his eyes narrowing. I’m sure he has ways of determining whether or not I’m lying. And it is probably confusing for him to see that I’m not.
“Xion will be looking for me,” I say.
Maybe hearing his sister’s name will make him remember that I’m important to someone. But it only causes a more terrifying reaction.
He laughs.
“You’re confident for a creature who is already dead,” he says.
I feel the blood draining from my face. “I didn’t do anything wrong,” I say, my voice trembling.
Remus shifts, his free hand drifting toward me. I close my eyes, waiting for the imminent death, but I only feel the book in my hands being taken away. And when I open my eyes, Remus is looking at it. His eyes drift from the cover to me, but his expression doesn’t shift.
“Were you reading this?” he asks.
I once again don’t know how to respond. If I blatantly lie to his face, there’s no telling what punishment comes with that infraction. Why else would I be in a records room, sifting through books on an alien world?
So, I slowly nod my head.
“Shuffling through our archives as a prisoner of war is enough to banish you. And stealing something that belongs to me is enough for death,” he says, watching me carefully.
Even though he’s stated why I should be punished, he hasn’t acted on it yet, I realize.
Is he toying with me? He finally releases me from his grip, standing to place the book in its rightful place.
My skin flushes with heat as a sense of deja vu washes over me.
But I use the moment to put much-needed distance between us, standing as well.
“I’m assuming one of my siblings taught you,” he says.
I keep my eyes down as he speaks. It’s all I can do to keep from collapsing in relief.
“My siblings are desperate to keep you alive for some reason. Even though you have no connection to them,” Remus says matter-of-factly.
He studies me intensely, closing the small distance I placed between us.
“And are poorly trained,” he finishes.
I bite my tongue. Being berated like this by him, the one who once admired everything about me, is hard to withstand.
As I lift my eyes, I look for the hairpin.
It’s still in his grip. If I make it out of here alive, I doubt I’ll be getting it back.
But the longer I stand in his presence, the more suffocating it feels.
Like, at any second, he’ll change his mind and end me. He’s so unpredictable like this.
I pull in a trembling breath.
“You’re right. I saw it on the ground when we came in. It looked insignificant compared to everything else. I was just fascinated by how beautiful it was. I didn’t think you’d notice,” I say.
The lie is difficult to speak. But there’s no way I can explain to him that he gave me the hairpin when he has no recollection of me. Giving in to his accusation is the safest route, even if it tastes like vinegar on my tongue.
I cry out as my body is suddenly moved by an invisible force, my back crashing into the shelf. I choke on a gasp as Remus stands over me, his eyes narrowed as he looks at me. My pants are audible as fear claws at every inch of my flesh. He’s angry, and he’s letting it show.
“You’re lying,” he says.
“N-no, I—Ah!” I cry out as the force increases. It’s grown to an uncomfortable press of my body, my bones beginning to rattle beneath my flesh.
“How did you get this?” he asks. “My siblings may want you alive. But they didn’t specify in what condition. I can return you with broken bones.”
There’s a hint of anger in his voice that accompanies the press of force, and I clench my teeth as he focuses his power on my arm, intensifying his threat. It slowly twists unnaturally on its own, the pain growing more excruciating by the second.
“Ngh! I found it!” I scream.
But the pain doesn’t stop. He doesn’t believe me.
My screams echo off the wall as I feel my wrist bone slowly separating as it breaks under pressure.
He’s following through on his threat. He’s going to break my arm.
And what’s worse is how excruciatingly slow he’s doing it.
He’s making sure I feel every intimate second of it.
A loud crack is followed by searing pain, and I can no longer hold back.
“It was a gift! You gave it to me!” I sob.
I open my eyes, pleading with any corner of his memory as I look into his.
“Please, I swear I’m telling the truth! Please!” I scream.
Just when I think Remus is going to completely splinter my arm, the pressure stops.
I collapse, cradling my arm as Remus stands over me.
It throbs in pain but isn’t bent unnaturally.
My sobs fill the quiet, and I drop my head further, letting my tears rattle me.
I don’t know what hearing those words from my lips is going to do to him in this state.
If it opens up the doors for him to question his mother, or throw off the balance of this world, I don’t know.
I flinch, scrambling away when I feel fingers gliding over my cheeks.
Remus is kneeling in front of me, his features a mix of confusion and irritation as he studies me. I know exactly what he’s thinking right now. He doesn’t understand why my body exhibited signs of telling the truth when I was in distress, no less. And he has no memory of giving me the hairpin.
“Please…just let me go…” I whimper. “I won’t bother you again,” I add when he doesn’t respond immediately.
Thankfully, someone interrupts us.
“Iris!” I’ve never felt so much relief from hearing Ezra’s voice. He’s suddenly at my side, between me and Remus, to inspect my injuries. “Are you okay?” he murmurs.
I can’t find it in me to voice how I’m feeling. So, I nod. But Ezra’s fingers drift over the swelling of my arm.
Ezra whips around, snapping at Remus in their language. I pick up bits and pieces of it, mostly him yelling at Remus for hurting me. But Remus has composed himself and is standing, his voice chilling as he responds to his brother.
“You are housing a thief. You need to train her properly, or else something worse than this will happen,” Remus says in their language.
I look up in confusion, but Remus isn’t looking at his brother.
He’s looking at me. His eyes narrow, and he scoffs when he realizes I can understand him.
He’s putting the pieces together himself.
I haven’t been around him since he returned to us without his memory intact.
Maybe he’s already noticing things that don’t add up in his life.
His time on Earth was extensive, and a lot happened during that time.
His mother can’t have swiped everything that perfectly.
Remus doesn’t wait for Ezra to respond, and though I am happy he’s left the room, I am devastated at what he took from me.
I lower my head, my tears quietly dripping to the floor beneath me, with Ezra to witness the crushing defeat I feel.
I know Ezra has a lot he wants to say to me, but I know even he realizes how broken I am right now and I am grateful that he holds his tongue.
“I told you not to roam alone! Do you have a death wish? Why can’t you follow the simplest of orders?” Ezra may have understood that I am in no position to be yelled at, but Xion is livid.
Remus ended the meeting abruptly and much earlier than anticipated. It wasn’t until Ezra joined Sky that they realized I was missing, as was Remus. The throbbing pain in my arm is a bitter reminder of how things went in his company.
Luckily, he only fractured part of my arm during his interrogation.
Unlucky, however, I have yet to reveal to them that I told him about the hairpin.
I doubt they’ll be receptive to that information or even know what to do with it.
It feels like every day another obstacle crosses our paths, and they don’t know how to handle it because Remus is at the helm.
Silence covers the room as Xion finishes her rant. I think she finally realizes I am not in the mood to yell back. She releases a breath, moving closer to where I am seated on her couch. Ezra is quiet behind us, once again allowing his older sibling to take over the situation.
“The only reason we brought you to the capital is that I wanted to give you some freedom. But if you can’t listen and keep doing things to put your life in harm’s way, I won’t be bringing you anymore,” she says.
I release a bitter chuckle, looking at Xion.
“Putting my life in harm’s way? You mean walking around? How was I supposed to know Remus was going to find me in some old records room?” I ask.
“You weren’t. And that’s the point! When I say to do something, you need to do it. We can’t predict everything right now, especially Remus,” she says.
Ezra speaks up behind me. “What were you doing in there anyway? What was so important that you would risk him finding you?” he asks.
I shake my head, not giving them a response. I can’t tell them I was looking for history about their mother. They would only throw an even bigger fit.
“Are you done yelling at me?” I murmur. “Can I go now?”
Xion releases a huff of irritation before gesturing for me to leave. As I stand to leave, a sudden wave of bravery washes over me, and I turn back to both of them to speak my mind.
“It’s very evident that neither of you has a grasp on this situation.
Remus isn’t stupid, and your mother isn’t perfect.
Eventually, he’s going to ask questions that you refuse to answer, and he’ll go to her on his own when none of this adds up.
Just like he did before,” I say. “You need to do something other than wait. And I know you need him to remove the rings. Or else you would have done it yourselves by now,” I say.
Xion narrows her gaze at me but doesn’t respond. It’s Ezra who steps forward.
“Right now, all we’re focused on is keeping you alive and keeping Remus unsuspecting. It may take a while, but at least at the end of it, you’ll be alive. That’s what matters,” he says.
My mind shifts to the way Remus looked at me in that records room.
For some reason, he let Ezra believe that he was threatening me for stealing.
But he got the truth about the hairpin from me.
He even watched me afterward, testing to see if I understood their language.
He knows I am important to his siblings, and he knows there is no connection.
I scoff aloud, shaking my head.
“He already suspects.”