Chapter Thirty-Four
Iris
As I hunch over the toilet, releasing everything in my stomach, I laugh to myself at the irony of it all.
The transporting of my body has made me sick, just as the trip to Xyrannis did, because I was not used to it.
Except this time, Remus isn’t here to comfort me. I don’t know if he ever will be again.
It’s obvious from our secret meeting last night that he doesn’t trust anyone. Not even his siblings at the moment. And if he ever regains his memory, I can’t help but wonder how that will come to affect them. But I can’t worry about that too hard right now. Not when I can’t even protect myself.
Remus has always kept his abilities secret from me, only revealing them when necessary.
He was able to find the resistance in the end because of that very reason.
He’s always been a calculating being, even when he feigned trust. I don’t know whether to feel hopeful that he’s realizing things aren’t making sense, or resentful that even when he claimed I was his equal, there were still things he was keeping from me.
I wipe my mouth, standing as I flush the toilet to make my way to the mirror.
I expect to see the tired, haggard woman who has been reflected in it for weeks staring back at me, but I don’t.
I look rejuvenated. My skin is clear and dewy, my eyes bright, and my hair even has a soft gloss to it.
I slowly lift my fingers to the strands, a soft laugh escaping me as they pass easily through, not snagging on dry tangles and brittle ends.
Even though he threatened to let me die in the snow, he ended up healing me in the ways only he can, restoring me to how I was before the bond was taken from me.
“Neither of my siblings’ strong suits has ever been healing. But I’m sure you’ve realized that by now.”
He’s right. After his first attack, it took days for Xion to heal me.
And still, remnants of the pains I felt in my stomach lingered.
But now, it’s all gone. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time.
It makes me wonder what parts of us he must remember to take the time to heal me completely after almost killing me in the snow.
As I make my way out of the bathroom, my attention falls to the hairpin I left in the middle of the bed.
It taunts me with its existence, giving me hope that may be false in the end.
Just because Remus suspects doesn’t mean he will remember anytime soon.
It was his mother who did this to him. She must be the only one who can reverse it, and I doubt she will.
I pull in a deep breath, looking at the bright sky. The rings are barely visible as they stretch across the sky. When did this all become so complicated? I’ve been dragged from my home to the middle of some crisis these creatures are experiencing at the hands of their own.
I ignore the crushing doubt bubbling up within me, moving to grab the hairpin off the bed.
Instead of placing it in my hair, I put it in the drawer under the small bit of clothes I’ve accumulated over the weeks.
It feels ridiculous, hiding something from the god-like being who lives up the hallway, but it’s better than having her notice it and ask questions that could get me into deeper trouble.
Once I’m satisfied with its hiding place, I make my way out of the room and up the hallway where Xion and Noah sit at the table.
I’ve rarely seen him since I’ve come to stay with Xion.
He only ever shows up when Sky and Ezra are around, and even still, he remains silent—much more silent than he was the night I first arrived.
And this morning is no different, as he gestures to me with his mug before shifting his attention to the scenery as Xion stands to greet me.
“You look better,” she says, eyeing me closely. Her gaze lingers on the places that once ached before shifting back to my face. “Much better.”
“I don’t feel any different,” I say, hoping she doesn’t obsess over it. I wish there was something I could do to avoid her gaze, especially since I now have something to hide. I try to keep my wits about me as she comes to her own internal conclusion, finally leaving me alone.
I shift my attention to the scenery, happy for once to see the warm green forest surrounding me instead of the snowscape of Remus’s home.
I never want to be out in that kind of cold again.
I shudder as I think of my body shutting down because it couldn’t handle the weather.
What was even more frightening was Remus’s indifferent attitude towards it.
But he did end up changing his mind in the end and doing something out of character for his current state of mind.
I don’t know what he has planned, or what he knows so far. But I know it’s enough for him to see some value in my life.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask.
Xion gives me her full attention, so I continue with my question.
“Why isn’t it possible for either of you to remove the rings?” I ask.
I can see her battling with getting angry or not. But she answers me.
“Something like this takes time. We haven’t stopped trying to figure it out—”
“I know that…I’m just curious why you and Ezra are so different from Remus,” I ask.
Remus has always been the strongest of his siblings.
Last night, he didn’t even flinch when I suggested he remove the rings.
It’s obviously something he is capable of, and his siblings are not.
Which makes me curious as to what the difference could be between them.
Xion is powerful in her own right, I’ve seen it.
I’ve also seen the aftermath of Ezra’s presence.
Still, Remus seems to be on an entirely different level.
“Remus has always been stronger. It’s just been a fact of our lives. He’s the oldest, he’s been alive much longer than me and centuries longer than Ezra. With that comes power, and things we haven’t learned yet,” she says.
In answering my question, she has confirmed what I need to do about this situation.
I need to focus on getting Remus to remove the rings.
What comes after is a question of his power compared to his mother’s.
Will he be capable of stopping her? We’re in this situation now because she overpowered him.
So if his memories return, can he prevent this situation from happening again if he’s aware of it this time?
“Why are you asking anyway?” Xion asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“I’m just trying to understand the situation from your point of view,” I say, hoping she’ll buy into my lie.
She eyes me for a moment longer before changing the subject.
“Ezra will be by to pick you up in a little bit,” she says.
I’m shocked to hear that Ezra of all people will be spending time with me today. He’s around when he needs to be, but generally has avoided me.
“Why?” I ask.
“He’s going to take you to a fitting. The council is hosting a celebration at the end of the week,” she says as if it’s a suitable answer.
“Isn’t that dangerous for me? What if your mother comes back while we’re there? Or what if Remus tries to—”
“It’s safer for you to be in attendance with us instead of unprotected at one of our homes. Our mother won’t be there. She doesn’t attend these things, nor does she hold interest in the day-to-day of Leviathan society. As for Remus, he won’t harm you in front of Leviathan,” she says.
I bite my tongue as the urge comes over me to tell her he could just transport me from the party.
If his mother caught wind of my existence, she could more than likely do the same.
There are so many questions I want to ask her in regard to Remus.
He obviously keeps things from anyone he thinks isn’t fit to hear the information.
“Why can’t you take me? Ezra isn’t exactly eager to be around me these days,” I say.
Xion glares at me, reining in her patience.
It’s funny to me that this is the same woman who ripped through the resistance and hated my guts up until recently.
I never would have dreamed of questioning her before all of this.
But it has placed all of us into a situation where we have been forced from our comfort zones.
“Were you this disagreeable with Remus?” she asks.
I shrug, moving past her to a chair.
“Remus encouraged questions,” I say.
“Well, I don’t. Ezra will take you. End of discussion,” she says.
And she means it, storming out of the room to leave me with Noah. I shift my attention to him in confusion.
“Did I do something wrong?” I ask.
“Cut her some slack. Each day that this goes on is another day she’s warring with herself and everything she knows,” he says.
I grunt in irritation as I join him at the table.
“I told you, these beings aren’t something we should have encountered. Look at what one simple human has caused,” he says, watching me.
I narrow my gaze. “Are you seriously blaming me for this?” I ask.
He shakes his head.
“There’s no one to blame, really. No one that it would benefit. I’m just saying, all of you could consider that there is no solution to this—none where everyone is happy,” he says.
He and Xion obviously have conversations behind closed doors. Conversations where she is weighing the results of what could happen if Remus regains his memory. It’s obvious from her reaction this morning that she doesn’t like the possibilities she is seeing.
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” I say.
“I’m not saying you did. I’m just saying—”
“That I sacrifice my life for the sake of their feelings?” I growl out.
Silence passes between us, giving me my answer. I release a bitter chuckle, standing.
“Has it not crossed anyone’s mind that maybe it’s their mother who should be the one to sacrifice something?” I snap. “Or have they been so brainwashed that they can’t even see that she is the villain in all of this?”
Noah laughs, shaking his head. “Obviously it’s the latter, Iris.”