Chapter 31
Thirty-One
FELIX
Seeing Uncle Jim was the last thing I expected today, and I was prepared for a lot of shit. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Truth be told, I feel like a missile that’s out of control and ready to aim my feelings at anyone.
I was harsh with the staff in the waiting room, even knowing they were just doing their jobs. Most of them have thick skin, which is a relief, but I still feel like an ass.
As I was drowning in the guilt of my failures and behavior while trying to manage this overwhelming terror, the one person I looked up to as a child was standing right in front of me.
Emotion choked me and drew me to my uncle. He was the man who showed me what love actually meant. It was hard growing up in a household where my parents didn't care about me beyond what I could do for them.
Uncle Jim showed me kindness and care. He asked me how I was doing every time he would visit, even when my dad accused him of trying to turn me into a wimp.
He called me a pussy on multiple occasions, especially when he would catch me hugging my uncle.
Dad would say, "Pussies don't pay the bills.
" I tried to brush him off and ignore him, but it was hard because the only times I received a hug were when Uncle Jim came over.
Years after Uncle Jim taught me how to tie my shoes, he taught me how to drive. I was fourteen and begging him to show me how to escape the cold, harsh realities of my home.
"First step is independence, Felix. Learn to meet your needs on your own," Jim once told me. Those are words I've always lived by.
Jim taught me how to be a man, but most importantly, how to be a man I am proud of. There have been mistakes, letting Erica go being the biggest one, but I believe Jim would tell me he understands.
Because if I had to guess, I'd say Uncle Jim made a few mistakes in his life, too. One was the way he disappeared when I was fifteen. He never contacted me or sent cards on birthdays. Nothing.
So yeah, seeing him after over fifteen years on the hardest night of my life, I flung myself into his broad chest and cried like I was a kid again. He was the only parent I had, and I needed that feeling of safety for just a damn second.
Then reality trickled in as the tears trickled out. Jim left me, and Roman wasn't afraid to call it like he saw it.
And Rome saw everything. He witnessed all of my attempts to make my uncle proud, only to never hear back from him. Roman encouraged me to focus on the lessons Jim taught me rather than the desolate anger he left behind. I was abandoned.
I made a mistake when I buried the devastation of having my safe person disappear on me without an explanation. Because of my ignorance to grow from my pain, I did the same thing to Erica. And lost her. Just like I lost my uncle. Is he a different man now like I am?
I fucking hope so because I don't have the energy to be mad at him. Roman does, but we don't have the time to hash this out right now.
"Don't fucking start, Rome," I snarl quietly. I don't want to piss the nurses off even more. "We're here for Blue."
Roman doesn't even look at me, just continues giving my uncle a blank, unimpressed stare. Ignoring my friend, I turn back to Jim. "Are you still a doctor? Blue Bennett's doctor?"
Watching my uncle shift into professional mode, I straighten, awaiting his response. "What is your relation to her?"
"We're her family," I state without hesitation. Will he let us see her? Is Violet her next of kin?
"In what manner?" Jim asks, then sighs. "Confidentiality has my hands tied. If you aren't blood related, married, or—" He's cut off by the device on his hip vibrating. Immediately, my uncle stiffens and says, "Excuse me. I need to go check on her."
He's rushing away before we can say anything else, so our feet do the talking instead. As one, we sprint after him, but of course, we're stopped by the doors slamming closed behind him.
"What the hell?!" Declan explodes, surprising me. He's been so calm. Spinning around, he grips his dark hair in both hands and yanks.
Just as I reach for him, the door beeps and opens, revealing the male nurse whom I pissed off not twenty minutes ago. Shit, no way I can convince him to let us through.
Glancing down at his clipboard, he says, "Let me guess. Jared, Declan, Roman, and Felix?"
"How do you know our names?" Roman questions the young man, who I just realized has a name on his badge. Ellis, cool name.
"Pulled it out of thin air," Ellis mumbles like a smartass.
Who the hell let this guy be by bedsides? He's got a shit attitude—although so do I.
I'm not surprised when my goddamn boyfriend and his best friend snort behind me.
Rolling my eyes, I ignore them even as my heart beats a little harder hearing those sounds.
We need some laughter in our lives again, and I might be just a little thankful to Ellis for being a dick if it makes my friend and partner laugh.
Ellis smirks at Jared and Declan but schools his features when his gaze comes back to me and Roman. "Nah, but that would have been cool. I have a woman by the name of Blue Bennett asking for you."
"She's awake?!" I blurt out, stepping forward. Holding back the urge to grab his clipboard and read everything there is on it is hard, but I do. Barely. I refuse to get kicked out, and something tells me this young man has a short fuse today.
Ellis narrows his eyes at me. "You may be Dr. Morel's nephew, but there are still rules here. Can you be calm and quiet if I bring you to see Ms. Bennett?"
"Of course," Roman answers for me. "Please take us to her."
Swallowing my pride and annoyance, I think of Blue. Lying in a hospital bed all alone with nobody to promise her safety and comfort. The time to argue with the nurse isn't now. She's asking for us. For me. She said my name.
"Please," I croak. I'm coming, sweetheart.