Chapter 30
Thirty
JARED
Cracking jokes at a time like this doesn't feel appropriate—I recognize that—but what else can I do? I'm uncomfortable and scared.
Roman knows how to tune me out, and Felix hasn't looked at me for twenty minutes.
He's pacing the length of the waiting room and ripping more of his hair out with every passing second.
Declan's lips curl up every now and then when I joke about his boyfriend going bald by morning, which only fuels my desire to be useful.
It was like as soon as we stepped foot in the sterile, white hall of the waiting room, I began to rely on what I do best: being lighthearted and fun.
Although nothing about this situation is fun or lighthearted. Making my best friend smile felt like something helpful, and that's exactly what I needed to be. At least I can create something positive in a situation where we all want to either throw up or throw fists.
I've seen the concerned looks the young nurse at the front desk has been giving us. Felix is probably to blame for that. I'm just glad the young girl has other staff members around to make her feel better.
She could probably use a joke. I can't imagine working in a place like this. How do they cope? With humor like me?
But it's just a distraction. A way for me to avoid the harrowing feelings inside me. I try not to think about Blue, but with every tick of the clock, my anxiety grows.
My teasing remarks have slowed the longer we've been here. The pressing worry of what's happening to Blue is silencing me.
More happens in the silence than I'd like. Having space to process and twist myself into a ball of nerves isn't helpful to anyone. I've had enough silence, but it seems getting sucked back into it is inevitable in a dire situation such as ours.
The drive to the hospital was quiet, yet I could feel the racing thoughts from the others. I can almost guarantee they were similar to my own. There's no way to explain the gut-wrenching concern about what you're going to learn at the hospital.
The main thing that kept turning and jumping around in my mind was, Is Blue going to live? If she just fucking survives, then we can work with that. We will do anything and everything to support her recovery—whatever that may be.
One of us should have been in the ambulance with her. That will always be something we feel guilty about. I'm trying to convince myself that it was a good thing she had space for the paramedics to work on her.
I almost...almost wish Levi had been in there with her. He wasn't able to, not with the police swarming the scene and questioning his husband.
Kevin killed Blue's kidnapper.
I feel like it should have been me or one of my friends, but maybe this is how it was supposed to be. Blue Bennett formed a friend group for the ages.
Maybe it's only right that Kevin avenged her. He's been here for more of her adult life than we have. He and Levi taught her self-defense and encouraged her growth in a way we never did as boys.
There's also the relief that we—Declan, Roman, Felix, and I—won't be plagued by taking a life. Our pride and ego may have taken a hit because we weren't the ones to kill that bastard, but more trauma won’t distract our minds.
Kevin and Levi are currently making statements, but I'm not exactly sure where. I faintly recall Levi calming me down enough to look over at my friends. He encouraged me to give them happiness and hope because it was clear the three of them were struggling in the aftermath of the gun going off.
Roman was the worst. Declan worried me. And Felix made me want to help in some way.
Nothing else needed to be said. Levi rushed to Kevin, and I rushed to my family.
Now here we are, and I have no clue where the other two went. Our one-track minds pulled us toward Blue right up until we were forced to stay here and fucking wait.
The last thing I want to do is wait, and it's something Felix is clearly not okay with. "Is there any news?" he asks, stomping over to the main desk again.
"No, sir," one of the nurses replies. He sounds polite, but there's an undercurrent of exasperation. I wonder how often they deal with people like us. Do they need to zone out to get through their shifts? Disassociate maybe?
I glance at Roman. His eyes are closed, and his head is pressed back into the white wall. He's breathing, but I wonder if he's actually awake. Not wanting to disturb him because he went through some shit tonight and needs to rest, I continue watching Felix's meltdown.
"Sir, please take a seat," the same male nurse demands, sounding less patient. "You harassing us isn't—"
Felix loses it. "Harassing?! You think I'm harassing you?! Don't you dare compare me to him!"
All the nurses and admin frown, confused about who he's talking about. I don't blame them. They didn't know that word would trigger the irate man. They don't know that our woman is in an unknown condition due to a man harassing her kid.
"Get security," one of the older ladies whispers, which shuts Felix right up.
Glancing at Declan, I lowkey hope he'll go get his boyfriend, but he's just watching the scene unfold with wide eyes and a stiff posture.
I sigh and stand, not withholding my cringe as my shoes slosh with nastiness. The water oozes between my toes, and I can even feel little mud pieces under my big toe.
I wish we had someone coming with new clothes, or I could text Levi to pick some stuff up for us. Yes, we text now. No, I don't forgive him for touching my woman. We may be friends, though.
That reminds me...
"Felix," I call, stopping him right as he opens his mouth. I don't trust anything that's about to come out of there. The last thing we need is to get thrown out. "Should we call Violet?"
Felix pales, and his shoulders droop. Mission accomplished.
I wave at the nurses and mouth an apology as I wrap my arm around his shoulder. Pulling him back to our corner of chairs is easier than I thought it would be.
"Has anyone contacted Violet, my parents, or any of the others?" I ask, hoping my voice is enough to wake Roman up.
He doesn't open his eyes, but Rome does shake his head and says, "No."
Declan looks like he could throw up again as he gives the same response. He ran to one of the bathrooms right when we got here. I'm just glad Felix was in caretaker mode then. Now I think I need to guide them, which isn't my favorite thing to do, but I will.
"What do we even say?" Felix mutters, throwing himself in the chair beside Declan.
"We have no information. You know V, she's going to rapid-fire questions we don't have the answers to, which will just scare her even more.
And there's no way in hell I'm telling her we found Blue being strangled in a bed of rotting flowers by a man who was eventually shot in the fucking face by someone she considers her uncle. "
Jesus.
Someone must approach behind me because Declan's eyes widen over my shoulder just before a deep voice joins our conversation. "Wow, Felix, I never thought I'd hear you say something so gruesome."
Felix chokes and jumps up. "Uncle Jim?!"
"Hey, son," the older man greets, sounding a bit emotional as they collide with a hug. "It's good to see you. I'm sorry it's here, though."
To my shock, Felix doesn't release the doctor. I'm assuming Uncle Jim is a doctor based on his long white coat. His hair is more gray than brown, but I haven't gotten a good look at his face since it's buried in Felix's shoulder.
The silence is tense once again as we wait for them to separate, and when they do, my heart clenches at the tears drenching Felix's cheeks. What is it about this guy that makes my friend the most vulnerable I have ever witnessed?
"Guys, this is my uncle Jim. My dad's older brother," Felix introduces, stepping to the side so the rest of us are included.
"This is Jared. And Roman, whom you might remember.
He was my best friend throughout most of my childhood, and still is.
Declan, his younger brother and now my partner," he explains, and I'm pretty sure it's the first time he's introduced Dec that way. I'm proud and happy for them.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Jim. A doctor here," Felix's uncle greets with a nod.
They look similar standing side by side, and it's like having a visual of what Felix will look like when he's older.
I hope he has the same laugh lines because that would mean I'd done my job as the comedic relief. I'd even give Declan some credit.
Declan and I say hi and shake the man's hand. The mixture of angst and reverence is strange, so I stay quiet.
"Mr. Morel," Roman says, standing and shaking Jim's hand. "It's been a long time." His tone sounds accusatory, which makes me itch to hear the story behind Uncle Jim.
"Roman, you've grown up."
Rome crosses his arms, almost squaring off with Jim. "That's what happens when you disappear for fifteen years."
Oh shit.
The plot thickens.