Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Fox
Five minutes of aftercare, that’s what she’s supposed to get. With the mask back where it belongs, I tend to her needs. I unhook her from the table, wrap her up in a blanket, and turn the lights down as low as they can go before removing her eye covering.
She blinks a few times as her eyes adjust to the change of light. We walk toward the couch, her eyes hazy and peaceful with a little smirk. I grab her water from the cabinet and join her. She takes a long sip, droplets clinging to her lips, and I fight the urge to wipe them away with my tongue.
She snuggles into my arms, humming a little song I don’t recognize. Any tension or nervous energy she had has melted away. Now she’s satisfied and perfect.
This is nice.
Aftercare isn’t supposed to be clinical, but I usually don’t have feelings one way or another. Yet, she nuzzles into my chest while I wrap my arms around her waist, interlocking our fingers.
“How are you feeling, Kitten? Does anything hurt?”
She gives a sleepy sigh. “I’m good. Thank you.”
I want to press my lips to the back of her head because it feels right, but the mask is a constant barrier.
She squeezes my hand and whispers, “Was I okay?”
How could she ever doubt herself? “You were magnificent.”
“I’m sorry if I get you into any trouble.” She somehow nuzzles even closer, like she’s trying to dig her way into my soul with a blunt shovel.
“The no-touching rule is mine, not the club’s.” My breathing slows as I sink deeper into the couch cushions, relaxing with her weight against me.
I’m calm, and what hits me is the lack of guilt. I should feel guilt, or at least disappointment in myself for straying so far off my path, and be crushed by shame and remorse. I choose, instead, to focus on the overall niceness of the moment.
I’m sure the regret will come crashing in later.
Does she want to do this again? Do I?
It’s better to give her the option than to make her ask. She’s already insecure enough. “I’m free next week.” Truth is, I don’t have anyone on the schedule for a month.
She lifts her head and twists around. Her big green eyes are bright and happy. “Really?”
“If there are more things you want to explore, I could make it happen.”
She shimmies, almost vibrating with excitement. I’d better stop before I launch into another session, and the room still needs to be cleaned.
“Yes, please.” She pushes herself up to my face level and kisses my cheek. I wish I could feel it.
“Come on, Kitten, let’s go get your stuff.”
She groans, sinking back into me. “But I’m so comfortable.” Half pout, half sigh. She’s right. I am too.
“Five more minutes.”
We lie there in a familiar silence, listening to each other breathe, until my muscles are so relaxed I might fall asleep.
I nudge her shoulder and she exhales. It’s a slow process getting her dressed.
It means the moment is over, and I’m not ready to slip back into reality.
We walk together through the hallway. Kitten steps into the locker room to grab her purse while I head to the lobby.
Normally I’m not in here, and Jade the receptionist gives me a weird glance.
“Fox?”
I lean on the glass case filled with merch and other items. “I’m adding my guest to my account.”
Before she can respond, Dimitri pokes his head out of the office and smiles wildly. “Because he liiiiikes her,” he teases, his accent making it sound ridiculous.
“Shut up.”
Dimitri leans against the wall and crosses his arms. “Oh, then she can use your membership unlimited times? Playroom access without your attendance?”
“No!” The word comes out of me with a primal force.
Dimitri grins. “He’s jealous, like the Phantom is with Raoul.”
Jade gives him a side-eye glance.
“I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.”
Dimitri scowls. “Uncultured swine.”
Kitten comes out of the locker room and giggles. “It's so weird to see you in the bright lights.”
Neither of these interactions makes me feel better. But when she crosses the room with a big glowing smile and touches my arm, my annoyance diminishes.
I clear my throat. “Pick a time that works for you. I’ll make it happen.
” I don’t know what to do with my hands.
Should I touch her, jam them in my pockets, put them on the counter?
There are too many options, so they hang loosely at my side.
“When you’re with me, there’s no charge.
” Through gritted teeth I add, “If you want to experience the Playroom or someone else, you’ll have to pay the drop-in rate. ”
She shrugs like this phrase didn’t make me want to vomit, and inside the mask, it would be very messy.
“Sounds totally reasonable.”
Dimitri walks toward us and puts his massive hand on her shoulder. “Take care of Erik over here, Christine Daae, he’s a good guy.”
She blinks a few times, and I snap at him, “That’s not my name.” I lean into her, repeating softer, “That’s not my name.”
But she radiates joy and happiness as she kisses my cheek.
“I should get going. Same time next week?” We both glance at the receptionist, who looks at her screen and gives a little thumbs up.
Kitten hitches her bag on her shoulder and walks toward the door. I clear my throat and say, “Text me so I know you got home okay.” Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?
She wiggles her fingers over her shoulder as she walks out the door. Without her, this room feels empty. But I remember this feeling. I’m safe here. It’s my preferred mental location. Empty and dark is better than pain in the light.
The door crashes on its hinges as Kitten comes running back in, pointing wildly at Dimitri. “Erik and Christine! Phantom of the Opera! I’m ashamed it took me so long to get it.” She shoots Dimitri finger guns. “It’s ’cause he wears a mask!”
“Yes!”
“Funny!” She nods with approval. “You’re a funny guy.”
“Please tell my girlfriend that. She doesn’t believe me.”
Jade frowns and furrows her eyebrows, “Wait, the Phantom of the Opera has a real name? And you know it?”
Kitten seems equally confused. “This is common knowledge, isn’t it? I thought everyone knew that."
I shake my head. “No, it’s not.”
“Sorry, I guess I just let my inner theater geek show.” She smiles and shifts from side to side. “Okay, I’m leaving for real now.”
And this time she does. Dimitri slams his giant hand on my shoulder. “Treat her well. She’s out of your league.”