Chapter 11
Jessie
The ride along the dusty road, on the back of Warren’s bike, is enough to have me sinking into dark thoughts from my past. I was lucky, I had Jake, so many others who have been taken don’t live to tell the tale or worse. I have no idea if Daddy ever thought of taking things further with me, especially when I grew into a womanlier figure. I never did work out this man’s pleasure or whether he truly was just looking for a makeshift family unit. But whatever his purpose, he still stole me from mine, and even though I was deemed as fortunate enough to make it back to them, alive and ‘untouched’, I never got what I had back. We were all changed forever more; tainted by a nightmare that never ends.
Jake is no doubt feeling hurt over my rebuttal of his offer to take me out, but he shouldn’t take it personally; I don’t trust anyone to keep me safe outside. My own parents couldn’t. The only reason I have agreed to come out with Warren is because I know he is a trained killer, an ex-assassin who is built like a brick wall of muscle, a myth, just like Stanley. Jake looked after me for all those years like a brother, but he still couldn’t keep me from living in that basement for six years.
When we finally come to a stop, we are in a small town, the sort that only has one of everything - one barbershop with an old guy sitting out front, one greasy diner, one wreck of a bar, and a shop selling clothes that were once vaguely fashionable, most likely before I was born. However, it is of no concern to me what I wear, so long as it doesn’t draw any unnecessary attention. I make it a point to look like someone who can blend into the background. Unfortunately, in the desert sunshine, together with the earthy tones surrounding me, my pale skin and ink black hair only have me standing out like a sore thumb.
Warren dismounts his bike and stretches up tall before removing his leather jacket and helmet. A few tattoos I remember seeing on the night he had stayed with me, reveal themselves in the light of day and I can’t help staring. He turns and catches me and he almost looks ashamed. I don’t think either one of us fully understands what made us give into something so reckless that night, we were but strangers; him a threat to my sanity, me a job. But happened it did, and although he obviously feels bad about it, I haven’t yet made up my mind.
“Don’t worry, Jess,” he says, smiling tightly, “we’re not going shopping. Lou has brought you some stuff you can have. Thought it might be the easiest thing for both our sakes.” His brow raises and he smiles. I guess someone like Warren enjoys shopping as much as I do. Mom has been buying my clothes ever since I returned…home. Not only did I not want to go outside of the house, but I also just didn’t care.
“Ok,” I reply, feeling a little nervous about meeting his sister. I have no idea what to expect other than she is very pretty and married to someone very wealthy. That thought alone makes me feel inadequate, like I’m turning up to a fancy wedding in a potato sack. He says nothing to put me at ease so there is little else to do but follow him into the small diner on the street corner.
There is nothing special about this place, no themes, gimmicks, or pretense. Diners were one of the few places I saw plenty of; Daddy used to take Jake and me to them all the time. He liked the outlandish ones, those that tried to be something they weren’t – Disney-themed, fifties features with old-fashioned jukeboxes, or celebrity endorsed with a picture on the wall with scrawl that claimed they were best friends with the owners. We had to pretend to be a perfect family, plaster on fake smiles and laugh at things that truly weren’t funny. It was always bittersweet for me - a chance to be outside of that basement, at least pretending to be happy, but also surrounded by real families and their genuine laughter.
This place doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it serves – sticky food, reusable ketchup bottles, and a laminated drinks menu that hasn’t been updated since opening. A man sits alone, staring at his cup as though it’s replaying all the years he’s lived, all of them bitter and sad. A couple of moms and their offspring are laughing in the back, discussing their breastfeeding nightmares and how hard their husbands are finding the new adjustment to family life. The server behind the counter is reading a magazine with a bored expression on her face and a lump of gum in her mouth. I feel instantly more comforted in here; Daddy would never set foot in a place like this.
“Phoenix?”
The sound of a young, somewhat happier-sounding voice than I was expecting grabs my attention. I turn to see a beautiful, female version of Warren sitting in a window seat next to a man wearing an expensive suit. He is attractive, like her, and they’re both wearing wedding rings. While I stare at them like a scared child meeting strangers for the first time, Warren grabs hold of my hand and pulls me over to their table.
“Good morning, love’s young dream,” he says sarcastically as he kisses his sister on the cheek and shakes who I’m assuming is his brother-in-law’s hand. “How’s suburbia? Thoroughly boring?”
“Stop it!” Louisa tsks as he chuckles to himself.
During their embrace, I have no idea what to do, how to look, or how to stand, so I end up cowering behind, probably looking like a spare part. As if sensing my discomfort, Louisa and her husband peer around Warren’s large bicep to get a glimpse of me and smile.
“Hi, I’m Lou, and this is Daniel. Please forgive my ill-mannered big brother for not introducing us properly. Contrary to popular belief, Dad did raise us to be polite and courteous.”
“Now, come on, Lou, he did punch me in the face on our second meeting,” Daniel says before chuckling to himself. I notice Warren merely flashing him a grin with predatory-type teeth, reminding me of a cartoon shark. “Nice to meet you; Jess, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I all but whisper but he’s kind enough to ignore my timidity.
“Jess,” Warren says in his baritone voice, “take a seat, no one’s going to bite, and you are perfectly safe.”
“Sorry,” I mumble before sitting next to him where his warm leg that’s covered in ripped jeans molds against my own.
“So,” Lou begins with her own painfully wide smile, “Phoenix tells me you like to draw. I could never get into it, even though I wanted to so very badly,” she says, and I smile awkwardly. “Course, I could always count on my brother here to tell me I had no talent.”
“Oh,” I utter, “that’s…charming,” I can’t help saying before looking at him as though he is the devil himself. He merely shrugs his shoulders and laughs over my reaction.
“He did teach me how to play guitar though, as a replacement for my lack of artistic talent,” Lou continues. “We Flynns are gifted with long fingers, so I guess it’s our calling.”
“Hunter, baby, you are now a Hunter,” Daniel says as he pulls her against his side and places a lingering kiss on her temple, which she leans into with a goofy expression.
“Don’t make her feel even worse, Daniel,” Phoenix teases.
“I’m not that good,” I finally reply, rubbing anxiously at my neck because a middle-aged guy who has the same-colored hair as Daddy did, has just walked inside with a grin that has me feeling sick. Phoenix seems to notice my fidgeting and grabs hold of my hand, his way of offering me reassurance. “It was all I had access to…growing up. Jake used to ask me to draw fake tattoos on him with felt tips, but I think it was just to pass the time and keep me calm.”
“Oh,” Lou says with a look of sympathy, and I instantly kick myself for already making the atmosphere feel heavier. “How is Jake, anyway? Still resorting to toilet humor?”
“Only for about ninety percent of the time, so that’s a huge improvement for him,” Warren laughs alongside Lou and Daniel.
“That’s my fault,” I blurt out because Jake is my brother, and I can’t stand to hear people laughing at him, not after everything we went through together. They all look at me with furrowed brows and an invitation to explain myself. I grab hold of a sugar packet to begin fidgeting with. “He would tell me rude jokes to cheer me up – a lot.” I laugh nervously, even though what I’m saying isn’t funny at all. “Sometimes it was the only thing to stop me crying. The poor guy probably developed a habit.”
The table turns silent with no one quite knowing where to look.
“Jake is a good guy, truly, he looked after me when I thought I’d have no one. We were both in a horrible, unbelievable situation. You should be proud of him.” I then turn to face Louisa, hoping I look sincere. “Your brother too. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but he’s done nothing but look out for me since the moment we met.”
“I know,” Lou replies with a smile just for her brother, and I notice a distinct blush spreading over his cheeks. “Phoenix has always had a hero complex and I couldn’t be prouder to call him my brother. As for Jake, he is practically a brother too. Please don’t mistake my teasing for thinking badly of them. It’s just the way we are. We do it to each other, Jake included.”
“I can appreciate that,” I tell her quietly, “my best friend had brothers and they were the same. They were always fighting and poking fun at one another, but if anyone so much as looked at her the wrong way, they were in for a world of pain. I’m just a little protective of Jake; to me, he is my brother and to him, I’m his sister.”
“Are you sure that’s all he sees you as?” Warren suddenly asks from beside me, so I turn to look at him with a perplexed expression. He merely shrugs his shoulders before turning back to his sister who is now looking just as confused as I am.
“Anyway,” Daniel says, drawing out the word, no doubt trying to break the tension, “Lou, why don’t you show Jess what you’ve got. We heard Phoenix didn’t exactly pack much when he brought you back to his place.”
“No, but I’ve borrowed a few bits from your wardrobe, Louisa, I hope that’s ok?” I ask, ignoring my nerves because I also want to break out of the stifling atmosphere that has just descended upon us.
“Oh, course, I can’t even remember what I left behind,” Louisa says quickly, however, Warren is already getting out of his chair and excusing himself to go to the bathroom, looking sulky and generally pissed-off. I can’t think what I said to warrant such a reaction from him. “Hey, Daniel, why don’t you talk to Jess, and I’ll go and see what my grumpy ass brother is getting in the shits about.”
“Did I say something wrong?” I ask in a rush, desperately worrying that I might have upset the one guy I feel safe with.
“Not at all, Jess, Phoenix is just…well, Phoenix. He has man issues and sometimes he needs reminding of this. Stay with Daniel, he can tell you about his latest headache of a client.”
I watch her walk away while Daniel asks if I want any more coffee to which I smile politely and shake my head. He looks at me with a soothing expression, one that puts me at ease in his company.
Phoenix
“Louisa,” I mumble to her reflection in the bathroom mirror, “this isn’t a unisex bathroom. Just so you know.”
“Yes, the smell gave it away.”
She grins at me, holding the door open and gesturing for me to follow her outside. It occurs to me that marriage seems to give some people the impression they are now in the driving seat, but she’s still my baby sister, no matter who her husband is and how smugly happy she looks. Still, I shake my hands off, take my time to dry them, and huffily exit with her. Instead of turning right into the main dining area, we exit via the back door where a rickety pair of chairs for the staff sit in front of a dirty white-wash wall. I could make a song and dance over her trying to boss me around with that superior look on her face, but I guess I can let her have this one. Lord knows I’ve led her through this dance many a time in our past.
“You know I’m loving this at the moment,” she begins, and I can’t help but laugh a little. “Me playing the adult and you having to listen to my much-needed advice. But I’ll try not to be too smug about it.”
“Too late for that, Lou,” I mutter as I lean over my knees with a loud sigh, “but go on, give it to me.”
“You know us, Phoenix, we don’t beat about the bush, we simply don’t have the patience for it. I’m gonna ask you some questions and you’re gonna answer them truthfully and without any bullshit.” I nod along because she’s right, I’m not one to fluff around business. “Do you like Jess?”
“Yeess,” I reply with my eyes shut tight, hoping this action will somehow make the whole conversation easier to swallow.
“Has something already happened between you two?”
This time, I let out a steady breath and nod shamefully because I know it shouldn’t have. Jess was vulnerable and inexperienced, and instead of respecting that, I gave into my urges.
“Wow, ok, like is it what I’m thinking happened happened?” she asks with a little shock in her voice before turning it down to a whisper. “As in, you slept together?” Again, all I can do is nod, leaning further over my knees with my head hanging low. “In my bed?!”
‘I wish,’ I think as I shake my head.
“In her bed…in her room…in her house, back in…”
She gasps, sounding horrified, to which I nod while bracing myself for her reaction.
“Wait, that would mean…Phoenix, you didn’t?!”
Yes, on the night I was sent to kill her, I took her virginity instead.
“Look, I already feel shit about it, so I don’t need my baby sister casting all her judgment on me,” I snap, still not being able to look her in the eye, even though I can feel her scowling at me. “It was a moment of weakness. It was like a need to be close to someone, for both of us.”
“Wow,” she says, and I finally brave it to sit back up and face her head on. “You got it bad, big bro.”
“I have?” I ask, shocked over the words she chose to use.
“’Fraid so, I can see it in your face and everything. A sister just knows. That and the fact you just had a hissy fit over the mention of Jake, who she is obviously close to. But seriously, Phoenix, you have nothing to worry about in that department. I think you suggesting that there is would be the same as Daniel accusing us of having a thing for one another, which is beyond gross.”
“Yeah, well, you haven’t seen how different Jake is around her,” I argue like a petulant kid, “it’s beyond weird. He normally has the maturity of a pre-schooler, but whenever he’s around her, he seems almost jealous.”
“Lord!” she groans, rolling her eyes at me. “Phoenix, I’m sure Daniel could have said the same about you when he started showing interest. They went through something really horrible and had to rely on each other. Jake took the same role you did with me after Mom. It’s no different and it doesn’t mean he wants her romantically. Besides, you big idiot, it was in part, his idea to push you two together.”
“So why is he being such an ass?” I throw back.
“Because it’s still hard to watch some guy come in and take over where he left off,” she explains, making sense when I’m not entirely sure I want her to; it’s easier to suspect people, even Jake. “To trust her to someone else and let go. You of all people know what that feels like. Trust me, you were way worse!”
“Was not!” I grumble, even though we both know I’m talking bullshit.
“The glasses, Phoenix, you remember the glasses which were twice the size they needed to be? The same ones I didn’t actually require? Not to mention, I nearly died of heat exhaustion after you made me dress up like a nun each day!”
“It wasn’t that bad—"
“Phoenix! Get back in there and stop acting like a complete idiot, which I know is a hardship for you, but something you need to try anyway.”
“Brat!” I huff.
“Jerk!”