Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
“Do you have everything you need for your ballet class?” Claire shoved some snacks into a paper bag for Alexis to take with her.
Alexis’s Saturday dance classes were twice as long, and even more expensive than the ones she took during the week. Claire didn’t know how long her finances would last to allow Alexis to attend the dance studio. The yard sale might help a tad with their cash flow. Hopefully in Los Angeles, Claire could find some more affordable options. Her shoulders tightened, and Claire craned her neck back and forth to loosen it.
Grabbing the paper bag from Claire, Alexis pushed it into her duffle bag. “Did you packet those almonds I like?” asked Alexis. Then Alexis zipped her bag closed, placing it on her shoulder.
“I packed double, along with extras of the other things you enjoy. You’ll be there until lunch.” Claire leaned back against the kitchen counter. “Juliet’s mom offered to bring you home too, because she knows I’ll be busy finishing up with the yard sale. I told her I could drive carpool next week.”
Snagging a banana from the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, Alexis peeled back the top and took a bite. “Do you think you’ll sell a lot of stuff?”
Shrugging, Claire replied, “No idea.” She shifted her weight, crossing her ankles. “But I hope so. We need the money to hire a U-Haul to bring the remaining things to Los Angeles.”
Alexis shoved two more bites of banana into her mouth before tossing the empty banana peel into the trash. “I’m still pretending we aren’t moving.”
Luckily, the doorbell chimed, interrupting them. Claire straightened herself, holding up a finger. “Juliet’s mom is here.” Claire hurried Alexis to the door. “Let’s not keep her waiting.”
Alexis left.
With Alexis off to ballet, Claire went straight to work, taking the last of the random items to be sold to the garage. During the week, she had gone room by room packing up and determining what to sell, keep, or donate. The bigger furniture she still needed David’s help to move. Wandering into the garage with the last box of stuff, Claire set it down and pressed the garage door opener.
Slowly, the garage door retracted, rolling up, revealing a smiling David standing in the driveway with a box of donuts in one hand and a travel mug in the other.
David ducked under the still moving door. “Good morning,” said David cheerfully. “How are you doing this fine morning?” He grinned brightly enough to make his eyes twinkle in the corners.
Claire couldn’t help herself as her eyes slid down the length of his body. Oh dear… David looked extra hot this morning in his joggers, sweatshirt, and baseball cap. Forcing herself to move and not stare, Claire weaved her way through the messy garage, stopping a few feet from him.
With a hand on her hip, Claire simply said, “So… you’re one of those annoying morning people. Aren’t you?” Her voice came out all weird and overly high with her pathetic attempt to flirt.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm. Down.
Holding her gaze, David took a sip from his travel mug, before he replied, “Only when I get to see you.”
A tingle slid down her spine. Her cheeks burned, no doubt making a streak of red down her entire neck. Claire chose to ignore his flirtatious comment, reminding herself he was the one who didn’t call. This was David. A shameless flirt, someone who had a natural repertoire with women and was naturally charming. None of it meant he liked her back.
“Thanks for coming to help.” Claire avoided his gaze, choosing instead to glance past him toward the street. “I appreciate it.” Then she peered around the garage packed with stuff. “But, I think Kelly volunteered you for more than you bargained for.”
David took another sip from his travel mug. He shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.” Then he flipped open the lid of the donuts with the bottom of his travel mug, revealing a dozen assorted donuts. The tantalizing aroma of sugar tickled her nostrils, making her suddenly aware of her lack of any sort of breakfast. “Donut?”
Taking two steps closer, Claire peeked inside. “I don’t know how I’ll choose. You’ve brought all my favorites. But I’m a sucker for a chocolate bar.” She reached in and grabbed it. “Thanks.” Smiling, she held it up then took a bite.
David dug out a napkin packed into the side of the box and held it out to her. “I’ve always had a weakness for chocolate sprinkles. There’s no other way you can basically eat cake for breakfast, and nobody will question you.”
Claire laughed, easing the tension in her gut. “You’re totally right. I never thought about it that way.”
Smirking, David took another sip from his travel mug. Then David set his mug and box of donuts down on a waist high pile of boxes, digging into the box of donuts himself. Taking a chocolate sprinkled donut, David ate it in three bites.
Wiping his fingers off on a napkin, David said, “Okay… now that we’ve been properly set up for a sugar crash, you need to put me to work before that happens.” He tipped up his baseball cap, making the edge of his hair hang out. “What do you need me to do first?”
Finishing up the last bites of her donut, Claire wiped her face with a napkin, then crumpled it up, shoving it into her pocket to throw away later. “I think we should first move the stuff from the garage out to the driveway. It will make space for the furniture I need to move from the house to outside.”
Readjusting his baseball cap, David clapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Let’s do this. I’m completely counting this as my workout for the day.”
“Me too… though I rarely work out,” replied Claire.
David’s gaze slid over her, making her body buzz. “It certainly doesn’t show… you had me fooled.”
Claire hesitated. She wasn’t as skilled at flirting, so Claire simply twisted toward the beginning of the piles of stuff that needed to be moved. Quickly, they worked together to bring things out to the driveway, unpacking them and placing them on tables for people to better view what was for sale. Once the garage was cleared out, Claire led David into the house. Claire pointed out the furniture items needing to be moved. They worked in tandem with one another.
In the middle of moving the last sofa, Claire held one end of it with both hands. “I didn’t realize how much stuff I needed to sell,” said Claire.
David grunted.
Claire continued, “I think this can be the last piece of furniture. I need to keep at least one couch for us to use for the remainder of our time here.”
David didn’t respond but remained focused, maneuvering the sofa around odd angles and corners.
Claire rambled on, “I’ll have to do another garage sale before we move out.”
Sweat glistened on David’s brow. “That’s probably a good idea,” he finally replied. He shifted the weight of the sofa. “We need to angle this end to get it through the door to the garage.”
Her arms screamed against the weight of the couch. “Okay, I’m ready.” Claire lifted her end higher while David crouched down at the other end, navigating it seamlessly through the door.
Once through the doorway, they walked the remaining steps to the driveway, plopping the sofa down on the last empty piece of concrete. Wiping his hands on his jogger pants, David then held his hand up in a high five. “Great job.” Claire high fived him back. “I’m impressed with how strong you are.”
Flushed, Claire smiled. “Thanks.”
People started to arrive, rifling through the piles of stuff at the far end of the driveway. Meandering further out, Claire greeted some of the neighbors who stopped by to look. “Everything must go.” Claire waved her hands over a table of trinkets. “I’m ready to give you some deals.”
David came up beside her. His nearness made the hairs on her arms stand straight up. Claire sidestepped away from him, widening the gap between them to help her mind clear. Soon she became busy helping those shopping. David jumped in too, assisting some neighbors who asked about a pair of side tables. Double checking with Claire, David sold the tables then moved onto another pair shopping.
The first few hours flew by. David proved to be extra helpful, moving sold items into the back of people’s pickup trucks. When there was a lull in shoppers, David spent the time rearranging items, moving things to better positions to be seen from the curb. Claire couldn’t help but stare in awe at his ease around others. Everyone he helped ended up laughing and talking to him like they were old friends and not perfect strangers. He was the exact opposite of Claire, who was stressed and anxious the entire time.
As the garage sale wound down, they relaxed in the two foldable beach chairs Claire didn’t want to sell. Exhausted, Claire slumped further into her chair, crossing her ankles. David sat, cupping the back of his head with his hands. Claire stared out at the mostly empty driveway. Luckily, most of the bulky items sold, and only random knickknacks remained.
Smiling, David leaned back further, crossing his ankles too. He shifted, tilting his head toward her, he said, “I had no idea how many people go to garage sales in this town.” Removing his hands from the back of his head, David tapped the tops of the chair’s armrests with both hands. “I think I’ve seen at least ten of my patients’ parents.”
Shrugging, Claire replied, “Everyone likes a deal.”
Claire didn’t want to think about the items from her childhood home scattered across Pismo. The thought made her sorrowful. It was hard enough to watch her mom’s precious things go. She was grateful Alexis was at ballet, so she didn’t have to witness people haggling over her mom’s clothing and trinkets. The air in her lungs became tight and shallow. Grief pushed its way back into her being. Claire looked away, blinking rapidly. Her eyes tickled with the forming of tears.
David sat straight up, shifting closer to her, without saying anything he placed a hand on top of hers. The minutes ticked right on by. No new customers came to interrupt them. Instead, they sat in the quiet stillness. Claire focused on regaining control of her emotions.
Claire finally broke the silence. “I wish I didn’t have to sell most of my mom’s things but, I’ve no choice.” Her voice cracked. “We need the money, and it won’t all fit in my apartment in Los Angeles.”
Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, David said, “I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. I’m sure the burden you’ve been carrying can’t be easy. I wish I knew what else to say.” David squeezed her hand once more. “But you’ll get through it.” He dropped his hand, folding his arms against his body.
Claire wanted to scream—impossible. Her life felt too shattered to ever get easier.
David brought his foot up, propping it on his other knee. “Please let me know what else I can do to help you. I’ll wait while you think of something...”
Claire paused, closing her eyes for a moment. After a few deep breaths, she replied, “You’ve helped more than you know.”
During their exchange, Claire hadn’t noticed a neighbor approaching. A voice asked for the price on a birdhouse, startling them both. Claire flinched then sprang into action, jumping up and moving to the end of the driveway where her neighbor stood. She told them the amount and collected the payment. Soon her neighbor was on their way, and David and she were alone once more.
Shoving the money into her pocket, Claire put her hands on her hips. “I think we should call it a day.” Claire faced David. “What do you think?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Whatever you say, boss.” David stood up all businesslike. The moment of intimacy from prior dissipated with the cool ocean breeze. “What should we do with your remaining stuff?”
Claire took in the smattering of things left out. It wasn’t much, but if she thought about it too long, she’d start to cry. Mom’s quilting supplies, her water skis, along with lots of her clothing. “Let’s put it back into the boxes, and I’ll take it to Goodwill. Sometime…” Her voice faded, hoping she’d find the courage to follow through with the last step.
“I brought my truck in case you needed help moving anything.” David fiddled with the bill of his baseball cap, tipping it up a bit. “How about we load the things directly into there? It’ll save you time if we take the things over today. One less thing to worry about.” He waited for her to answer.
Gnawing on her bottom lip, Claire checked her watch. “It might be tight.” She ran a hand over her hair. “Alexis is getting dropped off in an hour from ballet. Do you think we can make it?”
“If we load everything up, and you don’t have time to go with me…” David rubbed the stubble on his jaw. “I can take the things to Goodwill for you. I don’t mind.”
Claire wanted to argue, but David had a point. And she needed his help. His kindness made her like him even more than before. She wished to find some sort of fatal character flaw in David, anything that would make it easier for her to not be attracted to him. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t have any romantic interest in her.
“Thanks…” Claire managed. Her voice came out shaky. “You’d save me a lot of time and trips.”
With a nod, David replied, “Okay then, let’s get to work.” He walked toward his truck and opened the back.
David moved first, walking back toward the driveway, grabbing her mom’s old skis. Claire grabbed a box and took it to the truck, placing it on the bed. David and Claire worked in silence, packing up the remaining items. After a few trips to his truck, the driveway and the garage were cleared.
Claire wiped her sweaty and dusty hands on her jeans. “I certainly owe you for your help today. A million thanks.”
“It was my pleasure.” Warmly, David smiled, making her middle a gooey mess. “And…” His eyes twinkled with mischievousness. “It’s like Kelly said, I really don’t have anything else going on.”
Claire chuckled, forcing the nerves in her stomach to settle. “I think you’re only being modest.” She popped a hip, putting a hand on it. Without thinking, she waved a hand over the length of his body. “A single good-looking guy like you, I don’t believe that nonsense for a second.”
Smirking, David took a step closer, their bodies two inches from grazing each other. Electricity buzzed between them. “You think I’m good-looking?” He locked eyes with her.
Her cheeks burned. Claire shuffled her feet, shoving her hands into her pockets. She half stumbled a step backward. “Come on.” Claire regained her balance. “It’s not anything you haven’t heard before.”
David blinked. He spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. “You’ve got it completely wrong. If anyone is good looking here, it’s you.”
Heat wiggled its way down her spine. “I— I—” Claire stammered. “Thanks?”
Her phone in her pocket rang, interrupting their flirtatious exchange. Claire shifted away from David. With a shaky hand, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw Alexis’s name light up across her screen.
Answering, Claire ran a hand over the top of her messy hair. “Hi, Alexis. Are you on your way home?” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. Her daze darted to David then away again.
“Can I go to the outlet mall with Juliet?” asked Alexis. “Her mom says it’s okay if I go with them. Please?” she pleaded.
David leaned against his truck, crossing his arms. He waited.
“Sure. What time do you think you’ll be back?” asked Claire.
In the background, Claire heard Alexis asking Juliet’s mom for the details. A few moments later, Alexis said, “She said she’ll take us to lunch then shopping. So, I should be back between three and four.”
Claire agreed to the plans and ended the call. Shoving her phone into her back pocket, she pushed up the sleeves of her shirt. “Alexis is going to lunch and shopping with Juliet. She’ll be gone for a few more hours. I guess I have time to take this stuff to Goodwill. If that still works for you?”
David straightened himself. “Yep, works for me.” He moved to the passenger side door and held it open. “Let’s go.”
Claire closed the distance between them, climbing into the truck. David waited until she was safely inside.
“Thanks.” Claire croaked. Her throat was suddenly dry and restricted. Heat smeared across her face and chest. “I appreciate it.”
“My pleasure.” Then David closed the door and went around the driver’s side, climbing in next to her.
Buckling her seat belt, Claire sensed the intimacy of the truck bench. Inside it was tight, and Claire was only a few inches from David. Claire reminded herself he wasn’t interested in her. David had placed her firmly into the friend’s camp when he didn’t contact her after the movie on the beach. And today, David was a nice guy, helping.
David started his truck, making the soothing melody of Jason Mraz fill the quiet of the truck cab. Casually, David placed his arm along the back of the seat bench to back out. His fingertips brushed the top of her shoulder, making Claire suck in the air. Surely, David felt the fireworks too, right? She stole a glance at him. Wrong. David remained stoically undeterred. His movements were methodical, once in the proper direction, he removed his arm, continuing down the street at a slow steady speed.
The residential neighborhood of her childhood passed by in a haze. Claire transported her thoughts away from David and back to the many memories wrapped up tightly inside of her. Grief engulfed her being. The familiar streets were riddled with memories at every turn. Each street and place they passed, an old experience wiggled its way to the surface like walking to Main Street for saltwater taffy, riding their bikes to the pier, pushing Alexis in the stroller down the sidewalk, and on and on her head twirled with the nostalgia of the past. Claire missed Mom so much her chest ached.
With no ability to push away the sadness, tears streamed down her cheeks. Claire swiped them away with the ends of her sleeves. Coming to a halt at the red light, David glanced between the windshield and her. Claire stared down at her hands in her lap, wishing for the brokenness inside of her to be pieced back together. They said time healed all wounds, but maybe hers were too deep to ever repair. Maybe she’d always be broken.
Clearing his throat, David’s voice startled her. “If you need them, there’s a pack of tissues in my glovebox.”
Swiping a few more tears away, Claire reached out and dug around in the glovebox until she located the small travel size pack of tissues. She peeled back the plastic top and took one out. “Thanks.” Claire dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “I didn’t think I would get so emotional… it was way harder than I thought parting with my mom’s things.” She exhaled, turning her face away from him, staring out the passenger side window.
The light turned green. David drove through the intersection. “I can’t imagine,” He paused, making a right-hand turn. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re incredibly resilient. I’m in awe of how much you’ve handled on your own, but you’ve managed to do it while gracefully taking on the care of Alexis. It’s truly commendable.”
Claire blew her nose. The tightness in her chest settled, easing the pinch between her shoulder blades. “It doesn’t feel that way.” Turning in her seat, Claire twisted halfway to glance over at him. “Most of the time I feel like I’m one step away from drowning. Like one last thing will push me all the way under.”
Hand over hand, David maneuvered his truck into the parking lot of Goodwill. He pulled into a spot and turned off the ignition, making the radio turn off with it. Suddenly, it became very still. Placing one arm around the back of the bench seat, David exhaled. He fiddled with his keys before shoving them into his pocket.
“I’m sure it does feel like you’re drowning. Tragedies can do that to a person.” Running a hand down his face, David paused, keeping his glance straight out the windshield. “I know I haven’t lost a parent, but I did lose someone I loved very much…” His voice trailed off.
He seemed to be a thousand miles away.
“Tell me about them,” said Claire. “I mean, if you don’t mind sharing.”
A long exhale made his chest heave. David turned back toward her, running a single finger across the fabric seat in the scant inches between their two bodies. “When I was in high school, after homecoming my senior year, me and my friend, Blake, were coming back from the dance.” His gaze flickered to hers, and the pain in his eyes nearly undid her. David stopped running his finger on the seat and rubbed his jaw. “Blake was driving. It was dark, and Blake took a turn too fast. We skidded right off the road and down the embankment.”
A long pause followed. Claire wasn’t sure if he was going to continue. David broke their gaze and stared blankly out the windshield. His voice cracked, “Blake died, and I lived. I lived, but for a long time it didn’t feel like living. It felt like a life sentence.”
“I’m so sorry,” whispered Claire.
David’s confident exterior melted away, and Claire desired deeply to pull him into an embrace.
Gripping his chest, David said, “That’s what I’ve got to deal with. I lived. He died. I’m here. He’s not. For years, I felt so guilty. Why was I the one who was saved? Blake was a way better guy than me. He was All-American in football, straight A’s, always the first to offer help to those who needed it. I wasn’t anybody special.” David pulled his gaze from the window. “But…” he spoke slowly. “Sometimes we never get to find out the why. We only get to learn how to move past it, how to live with the pain, how to create a life without them in it. So yes, you may feel like you’re drowning, but someday you’ll come up for air. Nobody knows how long it’ll take. It’s different for everyone when it comes to grief. For me it took a long time, but one day I woke up and realized I was finally on the other side of it. I realized I was going to be okay. I realized for whatever reason, God let me live and I needed to appreciate the gift of just… living. And though it doesn’t seem like it right now, someday you’ll be okay too. I promise.”
Exhaling, Claire gnawed on her bottom lip. “Thanks for telling me about… Blake. I can’t imagine how difficult that was for you.” She reached for his hand, but stopped herself in time and placed her palm flat against the fabric of the bench.
“It was awful.” David shifted, resting his arm along the back of the bench, his hand grazed the top of her shoulder. “I haven’t talked about it in years, but my whole point in telling you was, I didn’t think I’d ever move on. I thought I would be treading water forever, but eventually I was able to breathe again. You will too. Little by little, things will get better, more bearable.” His hand shifted more, cupping her shoulder.
Claire leaned into the warmth of his skin, allowing David to comfort her in this small way. “I don’t know if I can forgive God for taking Mom from Alexis and me.” Claire pinched the bridge of her nose. “The injustice of it is eating me alive.”
“You’ve certainly had a heavy load to carry. I know when I lost Blake, one day I finally decided to give my anger, sadness, and despair back to God. I let him carry it, because it was too difficult for me to do on my own,” said David.
“I know. I’ve been trying.” Claire shifted a tad closer to him. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Reaching out, David tucked the hair framing her face behind her ear. “I’m sure it is, more than most will ever have to do, but at least with Him, you know it’s possible.”
Claire agreed. An awkward silence followed. The lines between friendship and more were all muddled. She didn’t trust herself.
Unbuckling her seat belt, Claire moved away from the intoxicating feeling of his touch. “Should we unload everything?” She raised an eyebrow. “I’ve already eaten up most of your Saturday. I don’t want to keep you out any longer.”
“Yes, of course.” David unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out.