Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Turning onto Claire’s street, a fire raged in David’s gut. After spending the entire day with Claire, David couldn’t fight the feelings he was developing for her. The tight, intimate space of the truck bench didn’t help things either. His mind raced with his wildest fantasies, with Claire smack dab in the middle of them.
Pulling to a stop in front of her house, David turned off the truck. With shaky hands, he swiped at the perspiration smeared across his brow. Tipping up his baseball cap a bit, David tried to appear cool and collected.
Slowly, Claire unbuckled her seatbelt. “Thanks again for your help today.” Lingering, she rubbed her hands back and forth over the top of her thighs. “I appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” replied David. His temples pulsed, making it difficult for him to think straight. Somehow, he managed to add, “Let me know if you need any more help clearing stuff out or moving things. I’m happy to help.”
“I’m sure I’ll need more help at some point.” Claire gripped the doorknob, pushing open the passenger side door. She paused, looking over her shoulder at him. “Do you want to come in for a while? I could make you something for lunch. You certainly earned a free meal.”
Glancing at his watch, David contemplated what to do. He wanted to spend more time with Claire, heck, he wouldn’t mind kissing her either. Then the truth stopped him cold; Claire was leaving in two months. It wasn’t worth risking his heart by getting attached. Look at how long it had taken him to get over his ex-wife, three long hard years. Quickly, his heart packed itself back up.
“Thanks for the offer.” David cleared his throat. “But I have some other stuff I need to get done today that I’ve neglected.”
Her face fell, making his stomach twist on itself. Claire climbed the rest of the way out of the truck. Shifting back, she said, “Of course, I’ll let you get to it. I’ll see you around, David.”
David blinked. “Yes,” he gulped. “I hope to run into you soon.”
Claire said goodbye and closed the door, wandering up the walkway to her front door. David watched her slip into the house before he started the car and drove away. His shoulders slumped.
Instantly, David regretted not taking Claire up on her offer of lunch. How did the repercussions of his divorce still have this grip on him? It wasn’t right. For a few blocks, David wrangled with his range of feelings. It’s better this way. She’s leaving. You’ll only end up alone. There’s no point in lunch, you’ll only want to see her again.
At the next light, against his own arguments, David made a U-turn and drove the entire way back to Claire’s house. After parking, David jogged up to her front door. Heart racing, breathless, David rang the doorbell. He pressed his flat palmed hand against the wall next to the door, regaining his breath while he waited for Claire to answer.
Soon, the door swung open revealing Claire. Her face lit up, unraveling the ball of nerves in his gut. Tilting her head to the side, her glance slid down him. Eagerly, Claire asked, “Did you forget something?”
“No.” David shook his head, standing straight, he squared his shoulders. “Nothing like that,” he stammered. Don’t chicken out now. “Can I take you to lunch?”
Claire fiddled with the ends of her sleeves. “I can’t let you do that. You helped me, remember. Besides, I thought you were busy.” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek.
David removed his baseball cap, running a hand through his messy hair. “If I’m being honest…” his voice faded. He rubbed at the stubble on his jawline. “I like being around you. I don’t know what I was thinking earlier by refusing your offer, but I’m free and I want to buy you lunch.”
Shuffling her feet, Claire glanced back into her house. “Okay,” she held up a finger, “give me a second to grab my purse.” Pivoting, Claire wandered back into the house.
David heaved a sigh of relief while he waited for her to return. A few moments later, Claire appeared with her purse in hand.
After Claire closed and locked her door, David asked, “Do you like clam chowder?”
Claire smirked. “Only if you plan on taking me to Splash Café.” She followed him out to his truck. “It’s the only kind I like.”
“Is there anywhere else to get it?” David opened his truck door, motioning for her to climb in. “In my mind, there isn’t any other place that compares.”
Smiling, Claire slid into the truck. “I completely agree,” she replied.
Shutting the door, David walked around to the driver’s side. His heart hammered making heat smolder in his cheeks. Taking a deep breath, he willed himself to settle down. Once in control, he opened his door and climbed in, pulling it closed. Putting the keys into the ignition, David said, “I’m glad to hear you like Splash Café too.”
“Mom took me and Alexis there our entire lives…” Claire’s voice faded away. The lines between her eyebrows deepened and railroad tracks ran across her forehead. Exhaling, Claire glanced down at her hands in her lap, before peering out the passenger side window. “I’ve so many memories of walking there in the summer.”
“I’m sure you do.” David started the ignition. He wondered what direction to take the conversation, away from memories or allow Claire to wrangle with them. Pulling away from the curb, he asked, “What time does Alexis get home? I’ll make sure to have you back by then.”
Smoothing out the top of her hair, Claire replied, “Alexis texted me after you dropped me off. They ended up driving to San Luis Obispo to shop, so she won’t be home until this evening, so no rush.”
His shoulders loosened. “Great,” smiled David. “I’m glad we can take our time.”
They drove the rest of the way in contented quiet. David rolled down the windows a tad to let the salt air filter through the cab of the truck.
Abruptly, Claire spoke up with a strained voice and said, “Could you please not go this way?” She gripped the door handle with one hand, while she rubbed her other hand frantically back and forth over her thigh. “I haven’t been by the convenience store… since you know…” Her voice cracked. She gripped harder onto the door handle, squeezing her eyes shut.
At first David was confused, then the reality of it crystallized in his mind. “Yes, sorry.” He took the first available right turn. Only the edge of the convenience store peeked out on the other side of the light. He weaved his way over four blocks in a big loop. “I should’ve realized.”
“I thought…” Her voice was shaky, making his middle clench tight. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she continued, “I thought I could handle it.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, seeping into her shirt. “Apparently, I was wrong.”
David was at a loss as to how to help. Pulling into the parking lot by the pier, David found a spot and parked the car. After turning the car off, he rested his arm along the back of truck bench. Claire swiped at the tears cascading down her cheeks. Both stared out the windshield, taking in the soothing view of the ocean and pier.
Claire leaned into his arm. David took it as an invitation to wrap his arm fully around her shoulders. “I think about it all the time.” She closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head. “Mom’s last minutes of life. She ran to the convenience store to get a loaf of bread to make Alexis a sandwich for her school lunch. She told my sister she’d be right back. But she walked in, grabbed a loaf of bread… and then…” Claire’s voice faded, shaking her head she stared down at her hands gripped together in her lap. David tugged Claire closer, shifting Claire rested her head on his shoulder and sobbed. “And then she was gone.” Her voice was almost a whisper.
For a long time, they sat in the truck with only the sounds of the ocean filling the cab of the truck. David wanted to help, to take away the pain, but he knew it wasn’t possible. Instead, David simply held Claire and didn’t let go. Claire buried her head against his chest. Her sobs eventually subsided. Claire pulled away, sitting straight up. She wiped under her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I’m a mess. I thought I could handle seeing where it happened, but I guess I’m not ready. I know it was an accident. I mean the driver had a heart attack and rammed his car straight through the convenience store right into her. The driver died on the scene too. But I go over it again and again in my head. If only… if only…” Claire clasped and unclasped her hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to burden you with this. It isn’t fair. I apologize.”
It wasn’t anything David didn’t already know. He read about the unfortunate event in the local newspaper. Everyone in Pismo knew, the front of the convenience store was still boarded up with plywood. Apparently, the glass windows were on back order.
David pressed a finger to her lips. “Shh. Nonsense. I’m glad you can talk to me about it. I’ll listen, anytime you want to talk.” He removed his finger. His gaze caught hers. “I used to think about those same things all the time after Blake died. What if I had driven? What if we had left a few minutes earlier? Or what if the music hadn’t been so loud? It’s enough to drive you into an unhealthy never-ending cycle of what ifs. You can’t do that to yourself. I know it’s hard, but I would try your best to not focus on how your mom died but instead on how she lived.”
After a long shaky exhale, Claire said, “She was incredible.” Her voice was stronger than before. “She made everything special.” Her eyes lit up, pushing out the darkness.
“I’m sure she did. I’m convinced moms have superpowers,” replied David.
“I agree,” said Claire.
“And Claire…” David added, “you’re so strong. I’m in awe of you. Alexis is lucky to have you as a sister, even if she doesn’t always show it. I know your mom would be proud of you and how you’re handling everything.”
“Thanks.” Claire pulled down the visor, flipping open the little mirror attached to it. Taking in her image, she ran a finger under her eyes. “I think I’ve cried enough for today. My blotchy red face has become my signature color.” She slammed the visor shut, turning to face David again.
Unbuckling his seat belt, and before David had time to think he replied, “I, for one, think you look beautiful no matter what.”
“I… I…” Claire stammered, rubbing her hands back and forth rapidly over her thighs. “Thanks… you don’t have to say that. I look horrible, but thank you, nonetheless.”
David opened his door. “I wanted to say it...” He slipped out, turning to look back into the truck at her. “Because I mean it. You’re beautiful.”
Her lips twitched, finally curving up into a smile. “Thanks, David.”
David closed the door, walking around to open her door. His body buzzed, sending a zing down his spine. The feeling was familiar. This wasn’t the first time he’d traveled down this road, and he knew the signs.
He was falling for Claire.