Chapter 4
‘He should have listened to you,’ Willow said. ‘I get why you took off. You went with your gut.’
Adam nodded. ‘You couldn’t marry him just because of what people would think about you stopping the wedding.
You can’t spend your life with someone you don’t love.
’ I remembered how much in love Willow’s parents had always seemed.
It was so sad that they hadn’t got their forever. ‘You both would have been miserable.’
‘I think we would have,’ I agreed, but I wasn’t sure Henry would ever see that.
I took another bite of a sandwich for more fuel.
‘I should have said something sooner, though. His parents must have spent a fortune. And maybe if I had said I wanted more of a say in the wedding or in our life, they might have listened…’
‘It sounds like they didn’t give you a chance. That they didn’t ask you what you wanted. That seems quite…’ Willow searched for the right word. ‘Controlling?’
‘Maybe,’ I agreed, thinking that Henry’s father did seem to control a lot of our lives.
‘But I went along with it all. I made a lot of mistakes trying to find a way to be happy.’ It hadn’t worked, though.
I hadn’t been at all happy. What if I couldn’t ever be?
What if I could never let love in again?
I was so scared of feeling that pain of loss again.
‘I think they will understand in time,’ my uncle said kindly. ‘And they will realise it was for the best.’
‘God, I hope so.’ I lapsed into silence, wondering what Henry and his parents had done after I’d left the wedding venue, and what they thought of me now.
I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to face the messages on my phone stored in Willow’s car.
I just wanted to hide out here for as long as possible.
Although part of me knew it couldn’t last long.
‘How about some cake?’ Adam started to get up then, but Willow told him to stay seated and she jumped up and brought over a delicious-looking lemon drizzle cake.
Adam cut the three of us a big slice each and passed them over.
‘I’ve been too stressed to eat,’ I said, tucking in. ‘This is all so good. Henry and I just eat out or get takeaways. I’ve forgotten what home cooking is like.’
‘I’ll make us a delicious dinner,’ Adam promised instantly.
Willow chuckled. ‘Dad loves to feed people so you’ve come to the right place,’ she said, looking at him fondly.
I smiled. They hadn’t lost their good humour and were as close as ever, it seemed.
I was so relieved. And the farmhouse was cosy and there was still the old warmth to it despite all the tough times it had witnessed.
It was so lovely to see. I hadn’t realised how much I had needed to be back with my cousin and uncle, and in their home again.
We finished up the lunch and then Willow reluctantly said she’d better get back to work. ‘Why don’t you have a rest upstairs? Then we can all have dinner together at the end of the day.’
‘Are you sure?’ I felt bad that she was so busy but was sending me for a lie-down.
‘Daisy, today was supposed to be your wedding day. Take a minute to chill.’ Willow whistled for her dog, Maple, and they headed out of the farmhouse. I refused to go straight upstairs, though and helped my uncle clear away our tea things although he told me not to.
‘Willow seems so happy,’ I commented as he washed up the plates and cups and I dried them. I thought about how devastated she had been five years ago at her mum’s funeral. It was nice to see the spark back in her eyes.
Adam smiled. ‘She is. Last year, we thought we might have to give up the farm but she fought for this place. And I was so proud to see it. I can’t do as much now with my health but Willow has been amazing. And Dylan and her make such a good team. She’s so pleased you came here.’
‘Really?’ I felt even worse for not keeping in touch more than I already did. ‘I don’t want to get in the way.’
‘She won’t let you. She runs a tight ship, that one.’ He winked.
I let out a laugh. ‘Well, maybe I can help out with some of the farm chores while I’m here, like I did when I was younger.’ I had no idea how long I could stay on the farm but I was in no hurry to go back to Henry’s family home, that was for sure.
‘Willow was right, though – for now, you should take it easy, okay?’
Seeing there was no point in arguing any more, I finished helping my uncle then I went back upstairs to the spare room, closing the door.
I went over to the window and looked out at the farm.
It stretched out for over three hundred acres.
Behind the farmhouse were fields of different fruit and vegetable crops and to the side of the house were polytunnels where they grew more crops.
I also saw where they kept chickens and where Willow was currently walking with Maple, carrying wood from the barn.
Then I looked over at the Airbnb cottages and saw Dylan talking with Blake outside, reminding me of how critical he had seemed of me walking out on my wedding.
I was worried about seeing him again. He was clearly judgemental and I didn’t need that right now.
Turning away, I went to lie down on top of the bed. I sank into the comfortable covers with a contended sigh.
Outside, I could hear Maple let out a bark. I could hear the chickens in the distance. The sun streamed in through the window. The life of the farm somehow was the balm I needed. I closed my eyes and knowing that I wasn’t alone any more, I slipped into a deep sleep.
* * *
When I woke, it was close to dinner time. The long summer days were starting so the sun hadn’t set yet when I went back downstairs.
Willow, Uncle Adam and Dylan were bustling in the kitchen getting everything ready.
Maple was eating her dinner in a bowl near to the Aga on the tiled floor.
It all seemed so cosy and inviting that I forgot for a moment the reason I was here, and I smiled at the scene.
I walked in but paused when I saw Blake was sat at the pine table. I couldn’t forget the reason then.
‘Daisy, did you have a good nap?’ Willow called out and all eyes turned to me. Reluctantly, I glanced at Blake, who shook his head and turned away from me again. This guy really had taken a dislike to me.
Rolling my eyes, I asked Willow if I could help but she told me to sit down as it was all ready. I sat at the opposite end of the table to Blake – petty but necessary. I looked out at the birch trees in the drive, stretching up to the endless sky.
Everyone came over with dishes for the table, declaring they were starving.
I remembered that because the farm day started early, dinner here was usually at 6 p.m. I had got used to working late and grabbing a hasty dinner with Henry at 8 or 9 p.m., but more often, I ended up eating alone as he’d been stuck at the office with his dad or out with a client or his friends at the country club they all belonged to, and which I had tried to avoid going along to as much as possible.
I hated trying to make small talk with people I had nothing in common with there.
Henry’s parents had seemed to live separate lives and were rarely home with us during the week.
So it was a novelty to be at the table with so many, eating an early and homemade meal.
Uncle Adam had made honey and mustard chicken with new potatoes, along with a huge bowl of salad and crusty homemade bread.
Also on the table were bottles of wine, water and lemonade.
I loaded my plate and poured out a large glass of wine.
My appetite had suddenly come back and I wasn’t going to argue with it.
‘I still can’t believe you live on a farm; you used to be scared of our horses,’ Blake said to Dylan once we all started to tuck in.
I raised an eyebrow. He really seemed judgemental to me.
Dylan chuckled good-naturedly, however. ‘As soon as I came here, I had this feeling like I was home,’ Dylan said with a smile across at Willow, who sat opposite him.
‘Which seemed crazy to think but that feeling just never left me.’ He looked back at Blake.
‘I guess you don’t see your horses much now?
His family run a riding school,’ he added to explain to the rest of us.
‘You must miss your old home living in the city?’
Blake sighed. ‘More than I thought, I’ve realised today being here,’ he admitted quietly then quickly took a gulp of wine like he hadn’t planned on saying that.
‘Dylan said your hometown isn’t far away from here,’ Willow said. ‘Are you planning to visit your family?’
‘Um, maybe…’ Blake said, avoiding her eyes.
I couldn’t help but wonder what the story was there. If his family lived nearby, why was he staying here and not with them?
‘Well, like I said, mate, the cottage is all yours. We can start work on the others first. You can even stay longer than the two weeks you’ve booked for, if you need to.’
My eyes widened at the idea, and Blake noticed my reaction. ‘Two weeks will be fine, I’m sure, thank you,’ he said shortly.
I hoped it wouldn’t be this awkward every time I saw Blake while I was here. I distracted myself by eating more of Uncle Adam’s tasty food.
Willow looked over at me. ‘More chicken?’ She quickly put more on my plate. I looked down and realised I’d already eaten my first portion. ‘Did you not eat at your fiancé’s house or something?’ she asked with a laugh.
‘Not like this,’ I said. ‘It’s delicious, Uncle Adam. I’ve had way too many takeaways or dinners out lately. I’ve missed home cooking like this. Henry and his family rarely ate together unless it was an occasion we went out for.’
‘We love eating together,’ Adam replied, looking surprised that other people didn’t feel the same way.
‘We’ve been the same lately,’ Blake piped up suddenly. ‘Me and Sarah, I mean. We’ve put everything into our business; we just had takeaways or ready meals.’ He shook his head. ‘Maybe that’s why things have gone so wrong,’ he added quietly. His voice was tinged with bitterness.
I wondered if this Sarah explained his bad mood. His girlfriend, I assumed as he didn’t wear a wedding ring.
‘You both wanted the business to succeed,’ Dylan said. ‘It was natural you focused on that.’
‘It can be hard working and living together sometimes,’ Willow agreed.
Maybe Blake and his girlfriend had recently broken up. Maybe that had caused some of his earlier hostility towards me. Still, it was an overreaction to a stranger. It’s not like it was my fault if she had left him. And I couldn’t say I blamed her.
‘Hey,’ Dylan teased Willow.
She grinned. ‘You know what I mean; we have to make sure we keep time just for each other, right?’
‘Definitely,’ he replied, again exchanging that smile with Willow that made my heart ache. I got the sense that even though they worked and lived on the farm together, their relationship wasn’t just surviving as mine had been; it was thriving.
‘Sometimes, all Henry and I talked about was his family’s business,’ I mused, thinking that should have been a warning sign for us both that we didn’t have much in common apart from that.
‘God, I was guilty of that too,’ Blake muttered, staring at his plate.
‘Don’t blame yourself, mate,’ Dylan said.
‘It wasn’t your fault what happened,’ Willow added softly.
Curiosity got the better of me then. ‘What happened?’ I blurted out before I could stop myself.
‘My girlfriend didn’t wait for quite the worst moment to break my heart like you did to your fiancé, but it was almost just as bad,’ Blake said darkly, lifting his eyes to meet mine. There was that open hostility again.
My blood boiled at his assumption I was just like his girlfriend even though I didn’t know their story, but he was clearly angry and broken-hearted.
I didn’t understand why he had to take that out on me, though.
If he treated his girlfriend like this too, I was on her side.
‘You don’t know anything about me,’ I told him coldly. ‘Thank goodness, I might add.’
‘Um, now, how about dessert?’ Willow said loudly.
‘No, it’s okay, thanks; I’m full,’ Blake said, standing abruptly, causing his chair to scrape against the kitchen tiles. ‘It was a long journey here; I should get an early night.’
I leaned back in my chair with relief that he was going. I knew I hadn’t handled things well today but the last thing I needed was a stranger making me feel even more like crap.
‘Let me walk over with you,’ Dylan said hastily, getting up too. They left and Willow went to get dessert so I looked over at my uncle, the two of us left at the table.
‘Things always look better in the morning,’ Adam said with a reassuring smile.
I sighed. ‘I hope so, I really do.’
‘So, Dad, tell Daisy all about your girlfriend…’ Willow said with a teasing smile when she came back. She was clearly trying to shift the mood in the room.
‘Willow, don’t call her that, at our age… Taylor and me… we’re just good friends,’ he said, but there was a twinkle in his eyes.
‘Well, whatever you like to call her, Dad and Birchbrook’s mayor have been spending more and more time together,’ Willow told me.
‘That’s great, Uncle Adam,’ I said sincerely. I knew he’d never get over losing his wife but it was nice to think he wasn’t alone any more. ‘You deserve to be happy.’
‘You do,’ Willow agreed.
‘Oh, stop it, you two,’ he said, waving his hand as he ducked his head, his eyes definitely turning misty.
‘What about you and Dylan?’ I asked Willow, enjoying speaking about their love lives instead of my disastrous one.
We had messaged and called each other sporadically since we last saw each other but there was nothing like being together face to face.
I watched as she talked about her boyfriend and I could tell she was head over heels in love.
Willow had lost like I had, but her heart was open.
I wished mine was too.