Chapter 17
Sebastian
Last July
I spent three hours with my Grandma and Aliena at the nursing home. It’s funny how quickly the time passed. We were playing Cribbage and messing around and suddenly, it was time for dinner. When Grandma asked me to stay, looking as hopeful as a puppy, I couldn’t possibly deny her.
It also didn’t hurt that Aliena accompanied us. She seems like a really sweet girl and Rosie is a matchmaker pro.
But staying that long also meant that there was no way my father wasn’t going to question my whereabouts. He knows I didn’t have practice today since he developed my exercise plan himself, the controlling bastard.
I wish I could just go to my place but it’s the old man’s birthday tomorrow and I promised my mother I’d stay the night at their place tonight so I could help her prepare a few things for him tomorrow morning in secret. He doesn’t deserve it, of course, but my mother insists on constantly doing too much for him. The least I can do is make sure she doesn’t overwork herself.
The reason we have to prepare everything so early is that she works in the afternoon and she wants things to be “perfect”. I hate to see how desperately she tries to make sure their marriage is successful and that my father has everything he could possibly need with her as a wife. Deep down, I know she’s just scared that he’ll leave her as he did with his last wife.
That’s why she never quit her job as a housekeeper. As insurance. That’s also why she won’t let him hire a housekeeper for their place, afraid that the story will repeat itself. Of course, my father has tried telling her that she doesn’t need a job now that she’s married to him, but his insistence stems from his embarrassment of having a wife with a lower social status. So low she “doesn’t even have a respectable job”. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.
Never mind that he knew what her job was before they were ever together since that’s how they met. Yeah, daddy fell in love with the housekeeper his ex-wife hired. My mother, bless her heart, was too na?ve to recognize him as the pig he was and when he told her he was divorcing poor Diana to be with her, she was over the moon.
He proposed soon after and my mom saw no red flag concerning the fact that he cheated on his ex-wife with her.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. All I’m saying is that she shouldn’t have been surprised when he occasionally worked long shifts… It’s exactly as they say, once a cheater, always a cheater. And I’m the one left to pick up the pieces when mom is crying over my bastard sperm donor.
Speaking of the devil; despite my best efforts to sneak into the house I still have a key to from when I used to live here, my father is expecting me in the living room I sadly have to pass to get to my old bedroom.
“Where have you been?” he asks, his voice even and stern. I fight the urge to roll my eyes only because my mother enters the room at the same moment, coming toward me with a big smile on her face.
“My boy, hello. How are you?” she chirps, pulling me in a hug.
I hug her back, stocking up on the comfort she provides before my inevitable interaction with my shithead of a father. “I’m good, mom. How are you?”
“I’m fantastic now that you are here. I’m always happy when you visit us,” she gushes.
“Which isn’t often,” my father adds helpfully. Jerk. “You should have been here hours ago, Sebastian. Where were you so late?”
“Oh, William, don’t interrogate him. He’s young,” my mother tries to reason. My dad ignores her.
I take a deep breath and swallow the remark that it’s not even ten pm. Then I reply as calmly as possible. “I was with grandma.”
Now, that has a thick silence swallowing up the room in an instant. Yeah, my father probably didn’t expect me to look for his mother after he transferred her without telling me, and this is the only matter even my mother stayed out of. I don’t hold it against her though, she’s just trying not to disturb the fragile peace that exists in her marriage.
“What was that?” my father asks, his voice dangerously low.
“I said, I was visiting your mother,” I repeat provocatively slowly.
“You don’t know where she is. I took care of that to ensure you focused on your studies rather than that withering woman.”
I clench my jaw. How dare he speak of his own mother that way? Did they have differences? Yes. But my relationship with her has nothing to do with him and still, he insists on disrespecting her in my presence, knowing how much it pisses me off.
The pressure in my body rises, my blood heats, and for a moment, I’m tempted to smash my fist into his perfectly kempt face. Oh, how satisfying it would be to feel his bones break under my clenched knuckles.
But that’s my father. Always working hard to keep me on my toes and make my life a little harder. He calls it disciplining me. I call it being a fucking jerk that gets off on powerplays.
“Well, you didn’t try hard enough. I found her,” I grit.
Then there’s that triumphant smile that I hate so much. He melts further into his chair, which he still hasn’t bothered to get up from since I arrived.
“I’ll just move her again. Far enough that you can’t visit her. I’m sure there’s a good nursing home on a Caribbean Island. Mother would surely enjoy that.”
She wouldn’t. She hates the heat. And the beach. He knows that.
“Don’t bother. It seems that her condition has been rapidly worsening and she’s unlikely to make it into the next year. At least allow me the decency of seeing her a few times in those last few months,” I argue, hating how weak my voice sounds. Hell, I almost sound pleading.
My mother must hear the vulnerability because she swoops in. “Of course, he will.” Then she hugs me again and whispers, “I’m so sorry, my boy.” I can hear the truth in her words.
My father concedes with a huff. “You were always too sentimental. If knew her as I did, you wouldn’t have put in the effort to find her. ”
This time, I can’t hold my tongue despite my better judgment. “You know, maybe the reason she was different with me is that you just didn’t fucking deserve her benevolence,” I snap.
“What was that?” he replies, sitting up straighter in his chair as if he was ready to finally get to his feet. Maybe this is when he finally attacks me and gives me an excuse to hurt him. It would put those boxing skills he’s been drilling into me to good use. My nerves are humming at the prospect.
“I said, maybe the reason she treated you badly was that you deserved it. Rosie was never anything less than loving with me. Maybe you just weren’t worth the effort!” I seethe, taking a step forward. My mother tries to hold me back in vain.
“Sebastian, please,” she pleads silently. For once, her voice isn’t enough to make me return to my senses.
My father gets to his feet, bringing us eye to eye. “What about your mother? Did she deserve to be called a dirty immigrant? And being told to go back to Argentina?” he challenges, his face red.
It’s funny how he almost sounds as if he cared about my mom and what people call her when really, all he gives a fuck about is his own reputation. Whatever he’s referring to must’ve hurt his pride more than triggered any protectiveness.
But this is the first time I hear him mention something like this in connection to my grandmother, so I hesitate. She wouldn’t really have said something like that, right? I’m aware of the differences the women had because Rosie didn’t approve of my dad’s divorce and didn’t like him remarrying .
What if those problems had a different source than I thought, though? It would certainly hurt my image of my grandmother if she turned out to be a racist.
My mom speaks before either one of us can. “William, that is enough. She’s his grandmother,” she insists. It’s hardly the denial I was hoping for.
“He’s wasting his time on her. Time he could be using to get his average grades to be more than that. Or to perfect his skills in the gym,” the old man practically spits. “Now stay out of this and keep your mouth shut.”
Yeah, that does it for me. I take another step forward, done with him disrespecting women that mean something to me. “You know what, how about I show you just how much I’ve perfected those skills?” I dare him, squaring my shoulders.
He bristles. “Watch your tone with me, young man. Don’t forget your place.”
“Don’t forget yours. That’s your wife you’re talking to,” I retort. We’re nearly standing chest to chest now while my mother tries to force us apart.
“Stop, please. Come on, men. Let’s all come down,” she begs. Her voice is horribly shaky and it’s enough to make me pause. Knowing that she grew up in a household where violence was an everyday occurrence, I’d hate to think that we’re triggering her.
It takes all my self-restraint, but I finally let her push me back a step. As soon as my old man is out of my personal space, I’m able to breathe again. When I see my dad sit down and my mother turns to me with tears in her eyes, I feel like shit.
“Alight, I’m going to my room,” I excuse myself. My mom wipes at her face .
“Yes, yes. I’m coming with you,” she tells me. I step aside to let her lead the way. Then I silently follow her to my room.
“Don’t listen to what your father said about Rosie. We had a rough start, but it was a long time ago,” she says once we’re in my old bedroom, sitting on the edge of my bed. I sit down next to her and hide my face in my hands, sighing.
“She really said those things?” I ask even though I don’t want to know the answer. Even though I already do know it.
“She did. At first. I think she was just sad about how William ended things with Diana and how quickly I replaced her as his wife. You know how she was after your grandpa’s death. She never even looked at another man. She didn’t understand how your father could end his marriage willingly. Don’t hold it against her now.”
Even though I can feel my chest and head protest at the prospect that my sweet grandma isn’t so sweet after all, I nod. People are layered, and just because Rosie was always sweet with me doesn’t mean she’s entirely good. My mother goes on, “How was your visit today?”
At least at that, I perk up a little. Only that it’s the thought of a certain nurse that lifts my spirits rather than my grandmother. “It was good. She made friends with a nurse there and we all played some Cribbage together.”
My mother smiles knowingly. “That’s great to hear, although I’m surprised that the nurse knows the game. How old is she?” she asks slyly. I see right through her.
“She’s my age,” I confirm. Then, just because I suddenly get the urge to move on, I add, “Her name is Aliena and she’s been looking after grandma for one and a half years. They seem kind of close. It was nice to know that grandma wasn’t alone all this time, you know. Aliena even buys her flowers in my father’s name every now and again.”
By the time I’m done, my mother is positively beaming. “She sounds very lovely. Will you see her again?” she asks.
I shrug nonchalantly even though I already planned my next visit. I asked about Aliena’s schedule before I left. “If she’s working the next time I go, I’m sure I’ll say hello.”
“Oh, tell her hi from me too,” my mom says but I laugh and shake my head.
“I definitely can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because, mom, I’d be telling her that I told you about her. I’d come across like a sociopath,” I explain.
The woman brushes me off. “Please, women like that. She’d surely feel flattered knowing you talked about her.”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure she would. I’ll still refrain from making any moves that strong for now. Who knows, maybe you’ll accompany me on one of my visits and you may meet her yourself. All in due time, though.”
“I’d love to meet her.” She winks at me and pats my arm. “I’ll go check in on your father now. You’re okay?” she asks, getting to her feet.
“I’m good. Sorry for how things escalated. He’s just so fucking infuriating.”
“I know. You two just have a way of triggering each other. Sleep now, my boy, we have to be up early tomorrow.”
I get up and hug her. “Goodnight, mom”