16. I’m Here, and I’m Hungry
I’M HERE, AND I’M HUNGRY
WILL
I can hear Caidin fussing when I unlock the door, and call out to Annie so she doesn’t freak out, thinking there’s a stranger in the house.
“Will?”
I round the corner to see Caidin’s highchair in the hallway outside the bathroom. Annie is leaning over, unbuckling the infant from the chair, and she shoots me a surprised look as she picks the baby up.
“Chris called and said you might need a hand?”
Annie stares at me for a moment before nodding. “I may be a little out of my depth. I can do one child, but was wondering how I’d manage getting Lucy settled with this little one starting to grizzle.” She motions towards Caidin, who is starting to show signs of entering the danger zone.
“Yeah, Caidin doesn’t like being in that chair if she’s not eating. I think you’ve got maybe a few minutes before she goes nuclear. Want me to help give them both baths and then we can take one each? ”
Annie considers my suggestion for a few seconds, biting her lip while she studies her face. But she steps back a little when Caidin reaches her little hands towards me, her lower lip starting to wobble.
“Okay. That sounds like a good plan.”
I nod and step in front of her, releasing Caidin from highchair jail.
Together, we finish getting the girls bathed, keeping our attentions firmly on the children. Although I can tell Annie is as aware of my presence as I am of hers. She stiffens each time my arm brushes hers while we’re kneeling side by side next to the bath.
Once both girls are clean and dry, Annie takes Caidin into her room while I help Lucy clean her teeth and get dressed. We settle in the chair in her room, once again opening up Dragons Love Tacos.
Once I’ve got her all tucked in, I close the door softly behind me and move down the hall towards Caidin’s nursery.
Annie is sitting in the chair, gently rocking back and forth while Caidin grips one of her fingers in her little fist as she feeds from her bottle.
The baby’s body is tucked up in her sleep sack, and her little legs kick around inside it.
From where I’m standing, I can see her little eyes fluttering closed as she fights off sleep, but eventually she gives in, and Annie’s lips curl into a sad smile while she watches her drift off.
I feel a tightness in my chest and rub it absently, as if that will help fight off the emotions that are rising to the surface at the sight of her with my goddaughter.
Annie doesn’t notice my presence until she’s straightening from laying Caidin into her cot, and she jumps when her gaze meets mine. I step aside when she walks towards me, letting her exit the room and pull the door closed behind her.
“Do they have a baby monitor or something? Or should I leave the door open?” she asks quietly.
I nod, leading the way back down the hallway. “They’ve got monitors. I’ll grab them from their room.” I leave her standing in the kitchen while I go to fetch both monitors .
I shake my head when Lucy’s little voice comes through on one of them, singing “Let It Go” from Frozen at the top of her lungs.
When I reenter the kitchen, I find Annie frantically wiping down the benches and stacking the dishwasher.
She glances my way, raising an eyebrow when Lucy hits the high note, her little voice sending the lights on the monitor flying upwards.
“She’ll fall asleep eventually,” I say with a shrug.
She regards me for a moment, cocking her head to the side. “You’re really good with them both. I guess you’re here a lot?”
I shrug, the realisation that we’re alone again sinking in.
Aside from a brief text exchange last weekend, things have completely stalled in regards to us staying in contact, and I hadn’t expected being thrown into shared babysitting duties alongside her as our first face to face meeting since our walk.
“Yeah. I have dinner here once or twice a week, and babysit for them occasionally. Although, I don’t often do double bedtime,” I reply, taking a seat at one of the stools behind the bench.
She nods. “I appreciate you coming to help. I definitely wasn’t going to handle double bedtime as smoothly on my own.”
I shrug. “No worries. Chris figured it would be hours before either of them could get home and he thought the girls might be a bit better if someone familiar was here.”
She cringes a little, but doesn’t say anything.
It’s not like she can exactly argue the fact that the girls have no idea who she is.
I pull my phone out of my pocket. “Have you eaten? I was about to get dinner when Chris called me.” I open up the food delivery app on my screen.
“No. Morgan and I were going to order pizza once the girls went to bed. Obviously, that didn’t end up happening.”
I nod. “I could do pizza.” I scroll down and find our local Italian restaurant that does pretty good wood fired pizzas.
“You’re staying?”
I look back up to find her watching me with raised eyebrows.
“Well, I figure you might need back up if one, or both, of the girls decides to play up. But I can go, if you’d prefer.” I go to stand up, but she waves for me to sit back down.
“That’s not what I meant. I was just… I just didn’t think you’d want to stay once the girls were in bed.”
We look at each other for a few moments, before I shrug again.
I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
“Well, I’m here, and I’m hungry. So let’s grab some pizzas and I can head off once they arrive if the girls are settled.”
She listens while I rattle off the topping options, eventually settling on a lamb pizza. I add my own large pepperoni to the order before closing the app.
“It’ll be about thirty minutes,” I say, putting the phone on the bench.
Annie nods before turning back to the dishwasher, continuing to stack it. I watch her for a moment before heading into the lounge room to start tidying up in there. Neither of us say a word for about fifteen minutes, avoiding each other as best we can, until there is nothing left to occupy us.
“Did you want some wine? I bought a bottle to share with Morgan later.” She grabs the bottle from the fridge, before starting to search the cupboards.
I step around the bench, reaching over her head to open the cupboard where they keep their glasses.
She startles, spinning around and nearly smacking her face into my chest. Trying not to make it obvious that the close proximity is affecting me, I raise an eyebrow and hand her a wine glass.
She takes it from me, and we both jolt when our fingers graze, a shock of static electricity passing through us.
Or maybe it was something else entirely.
Clearing my throat, I step back. “I’ll grab a beer from Chris’s drinks fridge in the games room. Not really one for wine with pizza.”
The reminder of something she’s obviously forgotten is yet another unintentional low blow, and I can tell it’s hit her harder than I meant it to when she grimaces.
I leave the kitchen and let out a breath, shaking my head as I walk down the hall. This is so monumentally awkward, and yet, I don’t want to leave. I clearly need to get my head read.
Returning from the games room with a can of Chris’s favourite craft beer in hand, I take a seat at the bench again, leaving an empty seat between us. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, she takes a large mouthful of wine and places the glass down on the bench with a loud clink.
“Ok, this is just silly. We can be alone together without it being uncomfortable. We’ve sent a few messages, it’s not like we don’t know how to talk to each other.” She flaps her hand around, gesturing at the space between us.
I regard her quietly for a few moments. “I know… I just don’t really know how to do small talk with you,” I reply.
She sighs, deflating a little. “Small talk was never our strong suit, was it?”
“Well, you always did most of the talking, anyway,” I say with a smirk.
She gives a dramatic gasp. “Are you implying that I talk too much, Mr Anderson?”
I give her a sad smile. “No. That was never a problem for us.” We’re saved from attempting any further conversation by a knock at the front door. “Wow, that was quick.” I go to retrieve the pizzas from the delivery person, returning to the kitchen moments later.
“You don’t need to rush off,” Annie says, as I hand her one of the boxes.
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “Yeah, come on, let’s go watch some TV while we eat.” She heads into the lounge room, and after a brief moment of hesitation, I grab my beer and follow behind her.
We settle on the couches, sitting across from each other, and I find the remote, flicking over to Netflix. Annie watches while I bring up Chris’s profile.
“What should we watch?” I ask, scrolling through the comedy options.
I figure this is the safest genre for us while the tension remains thick in the air.
She points towards the screen. “Let’s go with Schitt’s Creek. That’s always a good one for a laugh.”
“I’ve never actually seen it,” I reply, selecting the show from the list.
She turns to me, her head cocked to the side. “Really? I figured you’d be all over it. It’s got the dad from American Pie in it. It’s very funny.”
I nod. “Schitt’s Creek it is, then.”
I hit play, and we settle into our seats as the first episode starts. While I’m tucking into my pizza, I can see Annie watching my reactions out of the corner of my eye. I look over at her with a raised eyebrow, and she looks away quickly.
“What?” I ask, not prepared to play games.
She shrugs. “Just thinking how normal this feels. I hadn’t expected that.”
“Normal was never an issue for us,” I say, before returning my attention to the TV, feeling her eyes still on me.
We watch a few episodes together, our pizzas long since finished, and I notice that Annie has started nodding off on the other couch.
She’s lying on her back with her head on a cushion, and I find myself watching her instead of the TV, completely ignoring the antics of the Rose family on the screen.
Annie was right, the show is funny and is exactly the sort of show we would have happily watched together once upon a time.
But back then, we would have been lying together on the same couch, my arm around her waist while I brushed her hair out of my face.
When the episode ends, I get up and collect our pizza boxes and glasses, avoiding making too much noise, before taking them into the kitchen.
I finish loading the dishwasher and turn it on.
I move towards the door and look at Annie again.
She’s shifted to lie on her side, with one hand pressed between the cushion and her cheek.
Her beauty hits me once again, and I rub the same spot on my chest that has been aching for weeks every time her face has popped into my mind. Which has been far too often.
Sighing, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Chris a message to check in, asking if there’s any news while I walk back to my spot on the couch.
As I’m sitting down, my phone vibrates, alerting me to an incoming call from Chris.
I head back out of the room, not wanting to disturb Annie while she’s sleeping.
“Hey, mate. How’s it going with Dale?”
“They are still running tests. It looks like it’s going to be a long night, and Morgan doesn’t want to leave her mum on her own. Are you okay to stay a few more hours? I want to go and check in with them before I head home?” Chris sounds super stressed, which is understandable.
“Yeah, no worries. Annie and I are both still here. She’s crashed out on the couch and I can hang back as well.”
Chris is silent for a moment. “Are you sure you’re fine with that? You don’t have to stay if Lis has got it covered?”
“It’s fine, mate. We’ve actually been watching a comedy on Netflix and it hasn’t been weird, surprisingly.”
Chris snorts. “Alright, as long as you’re sure. But if it does get weird, one of you can leave. We’re not expecting both of you to hang around. It’s already a crazy enough night without either of you committing homicide.”
I roll my eyes. “It will never come to that. We’re adults. Just go be with your wife and keep me updated.”
We hang up, and I lean my hip against the kitchen bench, staring at my phone for a moment longer.
Do I really need to stay? Annie is clearly fine with the girls, and besides, they are both asleep.
Who am I kidding? I want to stay. Being around Annie again… It just feels right. What that says about me, I have no idea. Other than I’m obviously a sucker for punishment.
I walk back to the doorway and look at her once again.
She’s starting to stir, and I grab a blanket from the box where Morgan keeps them, draping it over her.
I reach forward to brush aside the lock of hair that has fallen across her face, but stop myself before I can touch her, retreating back to the couch I’d previously vacated.
I attempt to watch another episode, but I am too wired, so I go and grab myself another beer, hoping that will help with my nervous energy.
When I come back into the room, Annie is sitting up and looking around with a concerned expression on her face.
“Everything okay?” I ask, secretly hoping it’s because she was worried I’d left.
The relieved expression on her face that she quickly hides confirms my suspicions, and I’m not sure what this feeling in my chest is.
Heartburn from the pizza… Yeah, that’s what it is…
“Yeah. I just thought you must have left,” she replies, getting to her feet.
I hold up the beer in my hand. “Nope. Just getting another beer. I spoke to Chris. It’s going to be awhile before they get home. He wants to go check on Morgan and Vicky first. They are apparently still doing some tests on Dale.”
Annie nods. “Okay.” She pauses, running her eyes over my face. “Did Chris ask you to stay?”
I shake my head. “He’s fine with whoever is staying.
I just figured you might want back up for a few more hours?
” When she doesn’t reply straight away, I wonder if I’m really setting myself up for more pain.
“I can leave if you want me to, though? Or I can stay if you want to head home?” I try to sound casual, like it would be no big deal if she tells me she’s had enough of being around me.
“No. It’s okay if you want to stay.” She’s quiet a moment longer before adding, “I’ve liked hanging out with you. ”
She doesn’t give me a chance to respond as she hurries off in the direction of the bathroom, leaving me to obsess over what that means.