24. How Were You Functioning?
HOW WERE YOU FUNCTIONING?
ANNELISA
When I get back to camp after my run, I’m surprised to see that most of the others are up and about already.
The sun had only just started to peek its way over the horizon when I left, and I’d assumed that people would still be asleep.
But I guess, now that small humans are involved, everyone has become early risers.
I glance towards Will’s ute and notice the surfboards are gone. I’d seen a couple of surfers in the distance when I was heading back, and realise it must have been Will and Kylie.
A burst of excitement flares in my chest, and I turn to look at the water.
I’d always loved watching Will surf. He makes it look so effortless, when in reality, it’s incredibly hard.
He’d tried to teach me a number of times over the years, but in the end, we accepted that I just do not have the coordination required to stand upright on a surfboard.
In the distance, I spot them both bobbing up on down in the swell, their backs to the shore as they wait for the right wave to catch. A larger one begins forming, and I watch, mesmerised, when Will turns and starts paddling, popping up with ease as it begins to curl over.
“Impressive, aren’t they?” I jump, startled, before recognising Seth as he appears at my side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He gives me a wry smile as the twins wind their way around his legs and look up at me with wide eyes.
I rub my chest, while I wait for my heart to slow again. Between the run, watching Will and now having the shit scared out of me, it’s taking a little while.
“No problem. Yeah, I’d forgotten how good they both look on the water. They make it look so easy.”
He nods. “Yeah. They tried to teach me but I’ll stick with frozen water.”
“Which is also incredibly impressive. I can’t surf or skate, so I just have to settle for watching.”
“That’s what we’re going to do, right boys? Let’s go watch Mummy surf.”
The two little boys let out excited squeals and run towards the shoreline. Seth jogs along behind them with a bag full of beach toys in his hand, and I admire how he manages to wrangle the two excited toddlers with ease.
After watching Will a little longer, I turn to go back to my tent, coming face to face with Taylor once again. She’d obviously been watching me watch Will, and if looks could kill, I’d be dead and buried right now.
“Everything okay?” I ask, trying to appear friendly.
“Why are you here, exactly?” Taylor’s hands are on her hips as she stares me down.
A few meters away, Morgan and Bri are watching us with wary expressions while they get breakfast sorted for Lucy and Ashton.
“I was invited,” I reply.
She snorts. “Well, Will doesn’t want you here.”
I raise an eyebrow, starting to lose my patience. “Interesting. Given that I only came because he specifically said I should. But hey, I’m sure you know Will better than me.”
She glowers at me. “It just makes no sense that you’re here now.
You walked away from everyone, from what I’ve heard, and yet here you are, acting like nothing happened.
And no one is calling you out on it. It’s like the return of the prodigal friend, which is just weird.
You being around is fucking with Will’s head.
You should just walk away again and let him get on with his life. ”
The bitterness in her voice almost makes me feel sorry for her. From the brief interactions I’ve seen between her and Will, it’s obvious she wants him back, but there’s nothing on his side. But that doesn’t give her the right to drag me into the middle of it.
“Taylor, I don’t know you well enough to go into the details of what happened seven years ago, but I’ve known everyone else here my entire life.
Yes, how I left was wrong, but that conversation is for me to have with each of them, not with you.
As for Will… you need to talk to him, rather than me.
You obviously think I’m standing in your way, but I can assure you, I’m not the reason he’s avoiding you. ”
She continues to glare at me, but I’ve said all I have to say on the subject, so I step around her and head towards Morgan and Bri.
“What was that all about?” Morgan asks once I join them at the food prep area.
“She’s got it in her head that I’m the reason she’s not with Will anymore,” I reply, snagging an apple from the bag on the table.
Morgan and Bri exchange a look before turning back to me.
“Well… I mean, can you blame her?” Morgan says.
I sigh. “There’s nothing between Will and me. There can’t be.”
The admission hits me like a punch to the stomach, and I know I’m in denial. But I’ve always been better off avoiding dealing with my feelings. It’s the only way I’ve been able to get through life for the last sixteen years.
Bri opens her mouth to speak, but then seems to rethink it, clamping her mouth shut when Chris joins us with Caidin on his hip.
“What’s going on?” he asks, looking between the three of us.
“Taylor just bailed Lis up,” Morgan replies when it becomes obvious I’m not going to speak.
Chris glances at me before looking over my shoulder to where I assume Taylor is still standing. “Well, we knew that was going to happen,” he says, giving Morgan a pointed look.
“I didn’t. I didn’t even know she existed until yesterday,” I reply.
“This is what happens when you try to have your cake and eat it too, Morgan,” Chris says, almost as though I hadn’t spoken.
He still doesn’t seem quite able to look me in the eye. I have a feeling that he and I need to have a serious conversation at some point, but I’m not sure I have it in me. Everything that is happening right now is the reason I stayed away for so long.
Why I should have stayed away all together.
But I’d be lying to myself if I thought I wasn’t happy to be around my friends again. And they deserve more than me running away again now when things are complicated.
Jake joins us, and thankfully, the conversation turns to the activities for the day.
They all finish getting the kids fed before beginning to gather the beach stuff together, ready for a day playing in the sand with the kids.
Taylor and I avoid each other for the rest of the morning, and I’m beyond relieved once I see Tara and Aiden’s SUV pull up.
I jog up from the beach to greet them and help Brandie out of the backseat.
“Hey,” I say, and Brandie reaches her arms up to me.
I lean down to lift her up, settling her on my hip and rubbing my nose against hers. My niece is definitely one of my absolute favourite humans.
“Hey, how’d it go last night?” Tara asks, coming around from the driver’s side as Aiden gets out of the front passenger seat .
“It was certainly interesting,” I reply.
Tara grins. I feel like she is taking far too much pleasure from my predicament. But as the younger sister, it’s her job to drive me crazy.
A screech sounds from behind me, and I turn to see Kylie running up from the beach. She barrels into Tara and almost knocks her off her feet as she wraps her arms around her.
“You’re finally here!” Kylie squeals.
Tara laughs and squeezes her before stepping back and looking down at her clothes. “You couldn’t dry yourself off before you manhandled me?”
“Sorry,” Kylie says, looking down at the sand covering her wetsuit. “I forgot.”
Tara just shakes her head with a smile. Aiden leans in to give Kylie a side hug while I stay quiet.
Tara glances from Kylie to me but doesn’t say anything, which is probably safest. We’re soon joined by Bri, and I leave the three women with Aiden, stealing Brandie away to go and play on the beach.
She gets excited when she sees Lucy, and I put her down so she can run to join her friend.
Will sits with Morgan and Chris, his wetsuit rolled down to his hips, and I can’t resist running my eyes over his tanned chest. He was always in pretty good shape, but it’s obvious that he’s been spending some time working out, and it definitely isn’t helping the feelings I’ve been shoving aside for the last few weeks.
“Hey,” he greets me as I follow behind Brandie.
“Morning. Good surf?” I ask, dragging my eyes up to meet his gaze.
He smirks, and I know he noticed where my attention was moments before. But like the gentleman he is, he doesn’t say anything in front of the others.
“Yeah, it was good to be back out there. It’s been way too long.”
“Oh, really? How long has it been?” I ask, ignoring the way that Morgan and Chris are watching our conversation .
“About three months,” he replies with a grimace.
“Jeez. How were you functioning?” I know how much he loves the water and three months must have felt like an eternity.
“Not well,” he replies with a laugh.
At least he can smile about it, but I know that it must have been affecting him mentally, not being able to do what he loves most.
Taylor joins us, and I shift uncomfortably when she takes a seat beside Will, putting herself firmly between us both.
Taking that as my cue, I excuse myself to build a sandcastle with Lucy and Brandie.
But my eyes keep wandering back towards Will, and I try not show my relief when it seems as though he’s not that interested in chatting to Taylor too much.
His eyes meet mine on more than one occasion, and I’m finding it harder and harder to look away.