Chapter 23
—Kasey—
Tucked into a wheelchair and sitting fully upright for the first time in days, I winced at the stinging pull across the stitches low on my stomach. Every little movement felt gigantic as we wheeled and bumped along the vacant hospital corridor. The elevator ride up to the next floor was over in a blink, and the ding when it coasted to a stop zipped across my frayed nerves.
“And here we are,” my nurse happily declared as she wheeled me from the elevator.
We coasted past the reception desk, then came to a stop at the entrance to the NICU.
“Okay, so each time you arrive here, you must wash your hands thoroughly before entering the room. We need to protect our precious…”
Her safety spiel turned into white noise the instant I peered further into the room. The buzzing that filled my head wasn’t caused by dizziness or seeing the baby for the first time. No. It was caused by the shirtless guy at the far end of the room, sitting in an armchair and staring at me with intense, dark eyes. Not blinking. Not reacting at all to my arrival.
My heart jumped painfully into my throat and the belt around my tender ribs whipped tight. I gripped the wheelchair wheels, desperately trying to make a quick getaway, only to be filled with panic when I couldn’t move. Couldn’t escape Reed’s penetrating gaze.
I internally screamed, then again when he sat forward and carefully cradled the baby to his chest.
Fighting to breathe around the panic lodging itself higher, I wheezed and panted, trying to get the nurse’s attention to get me the fuck out of here.
Goddamn finally, she finished drying her hands, then looked at me. Surprise lifted her tone. “Oh, you’re looking a bit faint, hon. Are you feeling okay?”
“I need to go. Get me out,” I puffed, near hyperventilating now that Reed was standing, free of the baby, and had set me in his sights.
The nurse didn’t pause to ask questions, and as soon as the chair swiveled toward the elevator, I released the burdened breath I’d been holding.
“Kasey!” Reed called behind us. “Kase, wait up.”
“No,” I exclaimed. “I can’t. Not right now.”
Seeing him with the baby grabbed me by the heart and tore it directly from my chest. Not because I fell head over heels from what I saw, but for something more disturbing: I felt absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Surely, I should have felt even just the tiniest prickle of something other than claustrophobic terror. Something other than the walls closing in and the unignorable urge to flee.
“Kasey please.” The dejection in Reed’s voice lashed at me.
I wanted to feel what he did, I really did, and it cut me to the core that it simply wasn’t that way.
I looked over my shoulder as the nurse wheeled me into the elevator and found Reed standing ten feet away, arms hanging lifelessly at his sides, and his chiseled abdominal muscles coiling with each heaving breath.
“Please, just come and meet her, babe.”
Her. We had a girl?
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes as I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
I expected him to follow us into the elevator and force me to have a conversation. Instead, the doors glided closed, severing his broken expression, and I swear, I fucking swear, that I saw a tear roll down his cheek.