Chapter 24
—Reed—
Numb and struggling to put one foot in front of the other, I returned to the NICU and pulled myself together while washing my hands. Seeing the fear on Kasey’s face when she spotted me split my chest in two. And when she wheeled away with barely a glance back, it poured acid on those gaping wounds.
After I left Kase’s room earlier, I came up here to visit our baby girl. I’d spent the last hour cradling her to my chest, marveling at how warm her skin was against mine and how each of her little movements solidified her special place in my heart. Mom wasn’t working today, so another nurse worked around me, feeding my baby through the tube before giving me space to cuddle my daughter. As time wore on, it niggled at me more and more that she was still nameless. She couldn’t be known as Baby Quinn forever.
I’d hoped Kase would have come and at least met her. I didn’t want to name her without her input. It was important to me to have her opinion on the names already looping around my head.
The nurse had returned my daughter to her incubator, and after standing beside it for another five minutes, I finally said a silent goodbye for now.
~
“So, what’s your next move, bro?” Banks asked before lifting a beer to his mouth.
Despite me being in no mood to socialize, he’d insisted on our Friday catch-up at the LP (Lakeside Pint).
I scrubbed my hands up and down my face. “I dunno, man. Like, I don’t want to be a pushy bastard, but I’m having a real hard time keeping my cool. I just want to shake Kasey’s memory awake. I’m just... fuck, I dunno. I actually feel fucking lost,” I finally admitted.
Banksy hummed. “She’ll come around, dude. It’s nor—”
“Yes, I know it’s fucking normal to have amnesia after a head injury!” I yelled, causing a small scene as all the pub patrons turned our way.
I groaned under my breath and ran a hand through my hair as I cooled my fucking jets. “Sorry, dude. I’ve just heard it all before and it’s growing tiresome. Ya know?”
‘Fuckin’ A I do. It’s the hardest part of the situation to come to terms with.”
I snorted. “Not the secret baby?”
My brother grimaced and fingered the side of his beer glass. “Any more thought on her name?”
“Yeah, actually.”
He circled his hand in the air, motioning for me to hurry the fuck up and spill the tea. “Well?”
A sudden sense of foolishness hit. I hedged, nervous that he’d think my name ideas were stupid.
His eyes narrowed when I continued to stall. “Spill it, Reed.”
“Fuck, fine. Just don’t make fun of me, okay?”
He kicked back and opened his arms in a ‘hit me with the deets’ gesture.
I planted my elbows on the table and shifted forward. “Okay, so I’m running with the nature theme.”
“Obviously,” he drawled.
The tradition had been started by our parents, and all their children and subsequent grandchildren had been given nature-inspired Christian names.
My nerves heightened and I fidgeted. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but I sought the approval of my older brother in many things in life, and naming my child fell into that category.
“So far I’m tossing around Poppy, Posie, Arden, Meadow, Fern, Acacia, Timber.”
“Mhmm, mhmm, mhmm,” Banks acknowledged, nodding thoughtfully while mulling the names over.
I buried the pressure by taking a long drink of beer from my glass.
“You want my opinion?” he asked.
“Of course.”
“Posie is my favorite.”
A smile tipped one outer corner of my lips. “Mine too, but I’m scared of broaching the subject with Kase. She hasn’t exactly been... receptive about the baby.”
“Denial does that to a person.”
“Yeah, man.” I turned my glass in circles on the wooden tabletop that had a slightly sticky feel thanks to many good nights within these pub walls.
Guilt set in as Kase consumed my thoughts. “I didn’t visit her today. I just needed a day…” I’d spent it going for a run around the lake, then working out at home until I couldn’t face another set.
Banks hummed again. “No shade on that. The last week has been a lot. Simone visited her today and did mention when she got back that Kasey had asked about you.”
The news made me sit a little straighter. “She did?”
“Yeah. Her parents have been with her most of the time, but Kasey’s obviously been thinking about you too.”
Another twinge of guilt cut deep. Now I felt bad for not visiting. However, the news renewed my hope, along with the urge to skip out on Banks and drive over to Gallie despite visiting hours almost being over.
“I guess she’s still trying to place me,” I murmured into my beer before taking a long sip.
“Probably. But that’s a good thing, right? It means she’s searching for where you fit in—” He tapped his temple. “If she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t, right?”
Nodding, I mulled over Banks’s logic. “Makes sense. I hope you’re right, and she’s not stressing about when I could show up next and ruin her day again.”
He scoffed. “Nah, bro. Not that at all.”
Wendy—one of the owners of the Lakeside Pint—arrived with our burgers and fries. “And here we are, boys. I’ve already added them to your tab, Banks.”
“What?” he cried in outrage. “It’s Reed’s week!”
Wendy gave him a sassy look. “And Reed’s just had a baby, so it’s now your week.”
I kicked back and popped a fry into my mouth while my brother fought his case. “He didn’t have a baby. His girlfriend did.”
She waved him off. “Semantics.”
I grinned while chewing, my eyes ping-ponging back and forth between the two of them.
“It’s not semantics, it’s literal fact!” Banks exclaimed.
Wendy laughed and adjusted her apron. “And when you have a baby, Reed will pick up your tab.”
That cooled Banks’s attitude. “Fuckin’ A he will,” he muttered into his lifted beer.
“Now, you two enjoy those burgers.”
I weighed in. “You know we will, Wends. Tell Saul thank you from us.”
“Already done, darlin’.” She flashed one last grin then breezed away, leaving a waft of perfume mixed with kitchen smells in her wake.
Banks pointed a fry at my meal. “Enjoy that.”
“Already am, bro.” Giving him a smirk, I lifted my burger and looked for the perfect place for the first bite.
We both tucked in and ate in silence for a minute before he straight-up asked, “So how the fuck are we going to sort your shit with Kase?”