Chapter 26
—Kasey—
Wheeling toward the NICU ward, I felt sickened with the same twisting panic that had triggered my flight response two days ago. Only this time, Reed wasn’t gazing hopefully across the room at me; he was in control of the wheelchair, and I was completely at his mercy.
An older woman glanced up as we entered the room, and her expression broke into a wide smile.
“Kasey, hon.” She waited for me to carefully stand, then hugged me like a long-lost child. I made eyes at Reed over her shoulder while I returned her hug, thankful that he chose that moment to clarify who she was.
“Mom, she doesn’t have her memory back yet. Kase, this is my mom.”
The woman squeezed my hand reassuringly. “I’m Laurel, honey. Come over and see our little sweetheart. She’s just been fed and changed and is tucked up tight, but if you want to hold her, I can lift her out for you.”
Despite Reed by my side holding my arm in support and ready to help me each step of the way, I remained rooted to the spot. Every second slowed as I tried to steal a few extra moments before my world became upturned again.
His expression pulled with concern. “Are you feeling okay? Do I need to grab a chair real quick?”
I shuffled forward. “No. I’m just…”
He cupped my face, working his thumb back and forth over my cheek in the most tender gesture. “It’s okay to be scared. I was too, the first time. And the second. I still am now—for different reasons.”
He had a way of making me believe his every word. Made me believe that everything would be okay. That I could put my trust in him, and he’d never take advantage of it.
Putting one foot in front of the other, we slowly approached the incubator where Laurel waited.
As soon as I saw the baby sleeping within, I felt...
I released a heavy sigh. One filled with disappointment and dejection.
I felt nothing like I hoped to. Not a spark of maternal inclination or desire, nor the barest hint of emotion-triggered memory resurgence. And sure as hell not the urge to hold the baby.
“Are you sure she’s mine?” I asked, well aware I sounded like a cold-hearted bitch.
“Delivered straight from your belly, hon,” Laurel softly replied.
My hand gently rested upon the stitched scar that ran horizontally across my lower stomach.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant.” It was a voiced thought, not an announcement, and both Reed and Laurel kept their silence.
Reed rubbed his hand up and down my upper back. “Can we talk about what you’d like to name her?”
Bile rose in my throat, and I swallowed it down as my eyes found his. “Name her what you like.”
Raw hurt cut across his face. I hated that I put it there, but it didn’t feel right for me to choose her name when I struggled with making a basic connection to her.
“I’d like your input, Kase. She’s yours as much as she is mine.”
I studied the handsome man at close range, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the exhaustion subtly echoed within the lines on his face. I wanted so badly to remember. Not only for my sake, but mostly for his.
I took one last look at the dark-haired baby, then turned away, beginning to feel slightly lightheaded from standing for so long. “You decide. I’m ready to go now.”
Without complaint, Reed agreed and anchored me close. “Bye, Mom. I’ll stop again soon.”
“Bye, hon. You too, Kasey, it was lovely to see you up here.”
I forced a shaky smile as I fought to lock down the brewing emotion. It had been coiling in my chest since we’d left my room. I all but collapsed into the wheelchair when we reached it, then kept my whirling thoughts to myself as Reed wheeled me into the elevator.
Both lost within our own musings, the journey back to my room was filled with tense silence. Reed didn’t say a single word until he’d helped me back into my bed and kissed my cheek.
Closing my eyes against the gentle brush of his lips, I savored the fleeting contact while he gifted it. The wash of his mouthwatering scent lingered, as did the ghosts of his words, whispered against my skin immediately before he turned and strode from sight.
“Her name is Posie Quinn Gatlin, and I’ll see you tomorrow, darlin’.”