Chapter 27
—Reed—
I strode from the room with my entire body alight with possession and determination.
It almost broke me when Kase declined input into naming our baby, but I made peace with those demons while we wheeled back to her room. It took all my willpower to not take Kasey’s face in my hands and kiss her lips like I so desperately wanted to do. Instead, I settled for a lingering kiss against her heated cheek, one I could have drawn out for minutes just to savor the contact I’d missed so much.
I returned to the neonatal ward and stripped off my shirt, then welcomed Posie to my chest. Cocooned in a soft blanket, the skin-on-skin contact warmed her little body, and she soon fell asleep listening to my heartbeat.
“Mom,” I quietly called, feeling giddy and excited. “We’ve named her.”
Mom’s eyes lit with anticipation. “Yes?”
“Posie Quinn Gatlin.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “Good choice, hon. She already suits it. And Kasey will come around, trust me.”
My already heightened pulse gave a double skip. “I know. I just hope it’s soon. I hate that she’s missing out on this.”
I hugged our baby girl tighter, praying that someday in the near future, I’d be hugging both my girls at the same time.
After cradling Posie against me for the better part of an hour, I reluctantly returned her to her incubator and headed home on a mission: I had a nursery to create.
With or without Kase by my side, I was committed to being the best dad I could be to Posie. With that emerged fate in mind, I started moving all the shit out of the spare room closest to my own bedroom to redecorate it into a nursery. Standing with my hands on my hips in the empty space, I realized my next dilemma.
I grabbed my new phone and called Simone.
She answered with a breezy, “Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, how do you fancy a shopping trip? I’ve got baby shit to buy and no idea where to start.”
I pulled the phone away at her squeal of excitement. “Are you at home?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m on my way.”
~
The following day, after working my ass off all morning getting Posie’s room fit for her pending arrival, I traveled to Gallie to visit Kase. Her mom had called this morning with a positive update—she was getting more strength and was a little more mobile than yesterday. All these little milestones ultimately added to larger ones.
Knowing that her parents had popped out for lunch, I made my way along the corridor and into Kasey’s room. Her eyes tracked my movements as I wordlessly approached her bed and leaned in.
“Hey, babe,” I murmured before pressing my lips to her warm skin.
“Hiya,” she replied.
I studied her through narrowed eyes. Despite the new milestones being hit, she seemed a little off. A little tenser than usual.
Trying to play it cool and help her relax, I perched on the side of her bed at her hip and took her hand in mine.
“Sleep well?” I ventured.
“Not really.”
My thumb rhythmically rubbed over each bump of her knuckles. “I missed you extra last night. And I got Posie’s nursery set up so it’s all ready for her when she can come home. I can set up the other spare room for you if you’d like, or you can bunk in with me just like usual—”
Kasey abruptly pulled her hand from mine. “Reed, you’re jumping the gun here.”
Fear speared through my body. Hot like a bolt of untamed voltage, straightening my spine and burning in my belly.
I swallowed. “What do you mean?”
Her eyes flicked between mine, seemingly searching for mercy. “Once I get out of here, I’m going back to Denver.”
Fuck, that was a kick in the gut. My balance faltered on the edge of the bed.
“But Posie…” Tears swamped my eyes. I couldn’t face losing one, let alone both my girls. My voice wavered painfully as I all but begged, “Please don’t take her all the way to Denver. I can’t bear to have you both so far away.”
In sheer desperation, I took Kasey’s face within my hands and stole the kiss I’d been aching for. Mercifully, her hands found my shoulders but didn’t push me away. Unfortunately, that was where the absolution stopped.
When she stilled entirely, I opened my eyes to find hollow irises watching me.
“I’m not taking her with me,” Kase whispered.
Indignation had me snapping upright. A storm of conflicting emotions tore me apart from the inside as I struggled to grasp exactly what she meant.
“Wait—so you’re leaving and dumping Posie here because you don’t give a fuck?”
Anger instantly heated Kasey’s face. She shoved me away, and despite wincing, the daggers she glared at me were as sharp as her tongue.
“I do give a fuck, Reed. But I don’t remember you, I don’t remember planning to move here, and I sure as hell don’t remember having a baby! Back the fuck off!”
While a part of me was impressed that her fire had returned, the other ninety percent shattered. “Kase, I’m trying the best I can, and I don’t know what else to do.”
I shoved off the bed and wove both hands through my hair. Turning my back to her, I faced the window as I fought to get a fucking grip, then spun once I’d cooled.
“Babe—”
My words severed as soon as I caught Kase palming her eyes dry. My heart fragmented down the center and pushed acid into my throat. Fuck this was killing me.
“Christ, I’m sorry for upsetting you, darlin’.”
She sniffed. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I’m just…” I threaded my hands through my hair again, spreading my elbows wide as I took the largest breath. “I’m struggling with everything that’s going on at the moment. I thought I’d lost you… I thought you’d died. Instead, I’ve got a baby I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with and a girlfriend who doesn’t remember even a hint of what we had.”
Grief snagged in my throat, pulling a choked-sob hiccup from deep within my clenched lungs. I failed to draw a full breath, to ease the squeeze, and I grimaced through the burn rising past my sternum.
“I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be or give you what you want, Reed. If I could remember, I would,” she cried in desperation, matching what I felt inside.
I blinked away the tears I had no control over. “All I want is a second chance, Kase. But right now, it feels as if you won’t even give us that.”
The wash of tears swamping her eyes fucking broke me. We’d had our minor disagreements over the last year for sure, but this felt infinitely bigger. As if our entire future was balanced on this pivotal moment.
“I’ll give you what I want, if and when I’m ready,” she bit out through her wavering, down-turned mouth.
I knew she was on the cusp of crying her eyes out. It had me torn between begging forgiveness because I’d upset her and pushing her harder for some kind of resolution.
As it was, Kase made the decision for me. “I need you to leave. I can’t think with you standing over me.”
I stared, slowly nodding and accepting her request without argument. This wasn’t over. This was time-out while we cooled down. As much as I didn’t want to leave, it was the best option for the moment.
“I’ll pop in later,” I promised, casting her one last desperate glance before I left the room.
Inside the elevator, I leaned on the wall and flexed my fists, pretending that I hadn’t just heard her crying as I walked out.
As the elevator coasted to a stop and dinged on the ground floor, I sniffed away the residual sting at the back of my throat, then exited the hospital to catch my damn breath.