Chapter Seventeen
Chloe
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Again.
Every creak of the floorboards, every gust of wind that smacked against the cabin walls had my stomach twisted with dread.
I must’ve checked on Gemma no less than a dozen times between sitting vigil in front of the door.
I slipped upstairs after every noise and slipped inside her room, watching her chest rise and fall in the sliver of moonlight that slipped between the curtains.
That small, hypnotic movement was the only thing that kept me sane through the long, dark night.
The Ghost Riders were gone—for now—but the fear wasn’t.
It coiled tight in my spine, making it impossible to relax enough even for a catnap. Every time I attempted to close my eyes, the only image it managed to conjure up was that giant, bloody log that I’d used to kill a man. Again.
As soon as morning came and the sun broke free in the sky, bringing the lake outside to life, I took another shower and made a full pot of coffee.
I was two cups in when Pike came through the kitchen muttering something about checking on the property.
He hardly spared me a glance, which was only slightly offensive considering how he’d made me feel in the hours before the Ghost Riders had shown up.
I hadn’t forgotten it, but it seemed as if he was determined to, so I located that place deep inside where I kept all the things I didn’t have the time or the bandwidth to deal with, and I shoved my feelings about that in there before closing the lid tight and focusing on what needed to be done today.
Today I had to stop waiting. I needed to stop reacting and stop hoping that the Ghost Riders would simply give up and let me and Gemma live our lives. That wouldn’t happen, which meant I needed to do something about it.
“Can we sit outside today, Mommy?” Gemma’s question pulled me from my thoughts, and I turned to see her watching me with a careful expression.
“Yeah sure. What do you want to do?”
She held up one of the coloring books that one of the Steel Demons left for her along with puzzles and age-appropriate books. “I wanna color.”
My shoulders deflated a little at the thought that my little girl didn’t want to spend time with me, but we’d been in each other’s pockets every single day for more than three years now so maybe she needed some space. “Okay, let me finish the breakfast dishes and we’ll go get some sun.”
The moment the last dish was done, Gemma had her book, Mandi, and two boxes of crayons and rushed to the front door. “Hurry, Mommy.”
I laughed and opened the door. “Stay where I can see you and don’t wander off, yeah?”
“I won’t, Mommy.” She was already laying everything out exactly how she wanted it and then bent over the coloring book, her tongue stuck out and one arm holding Mandi close.
I don’t know how long I watched Gemma, searching for any sign that she wasn’t okay. Any indication that she’d heard any of what happened last night, but there was none.
Good. Perfect.
Pike stood near the water’s edge with his arms hanging loosely at his side but the tension in his shoulders and spine was visible if you knew what to look for.
I told myself it didn’t matter how good he looked in the sunlight or how well his jeans hugged his ass, because I needed a favor that had nothing to do with sex.
Except now that I wasn’t thinking about sex, I was now thinking about sex.
“Hey,” I began and cleared my throat. “Can I talk to you?”
He turned to face me quickly before he turned back to the water. “Everything okay?”
No. Not even close to okay, but I nodded anyway. “I want to learn.”
He turned fully to face me. “Learn what?”
“How to use weapons. For real.” I crossed my arms, hugging my midsection because admitting this truth made me feel vulnerable even though it was no secret.
“I’m tired of grabbing whatever is closest and hoping it’s the weapon that saves my life.
If something happens again, I want to be ready so that I’m not so scared. ”
“You should always be scared because the outcome matters.”
I swallowed at the intensity of his words. “Okay. So will you help me?”
He didn’t speak for a long time and I thought maybe he wouldn’t. He studied me until he found whatever he was looking for, and then he nodded. “Let’s go.”
I blinked and then frowned. “Wait… now?”
“Yeah, now. It’s best to do it before you lose your nerve.”
My spine straightened and I tilted my chin up defiantly. “I wouldn’t.”
His lips tugged into a crooked grin. “Everyone thinks that, yet most people do back out of things. Come on.” His gaze raked me up and down, taking note of my black shorts and hot pink tank top. “You’re dressed for it.”
“Where are we going?” I scrambled after his long-legged gait the moment he began walking away.
“Just over there. Gemma won’t be able to see exactly what we’re doing but we can see her.”
“Oh.” My heart skipped a beat at his considerate nature. “Good thinking.”
“I know. Stay here.” He walked towards the cabin before I could ask him where he was going, stopping to have a quick conversation with Gemma before he disappeared inside, reappearing a few minutes later with a black metal box tucked under his sculpted arms.
“What’s that?”
He looked up at me with a raised brow. “Can’t do weapons training without weapons.”
Oh. “Right.”
He picked a black handgun and stood. “This is a Glock 19. People like it because it’s light and reliable, and good for beginners. Ever used a gun before?”
I shook my head, resisting the mighty urge to take a giant step back from the murder weapon.
“Ever shot anything before?”
I shrugged, a small smile played on my lips as I answered. “Paintball once, but I really hated it. A lot.”
Pike grunted his reply, which I kind of understood. I wasn’t going to be the best student, not when I was ignorant and unwilling. “Well that’s not the same but it’s all right.”
I looked at the gun he attempted to hand to me with the barrel pointed at the ground.
“What?”
“Take it,” he insisted.
Again I obeyed instinctively. “It’s heavier than I expected. Colder too.” It felt exactly as it should considering what it could do. I listened carefully as he ran me through safety instructions, loading and unloading it and general gun safety.
“Respect the power and gravity of this piece of metal. Always.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded furiously. “Got it. All of it.” That’s what I thought until he said the words that made my resolve crumble.
“Okay, let’s get ready to shoot.”
I nodded and raised my arms the way he showed me. He stood behind me, his chest pressed against my back, and I froze. He was close. He was too close, and I couldn’t focus. Or speak.
He was oblivious, of course, because he wasn’t as affected. His hands slid down my arms, instructing me along the way. “Grip it firm but not tight, so you’re in control.”
I did as instructed, swallowing hard again.
Pike adjusted my stance and squared my shoulders. “Better. Now take a deep breath,” he whispered, his breath brushing my ear, stealing a gasp from my chest. “Focus, Chloe. You’re all good.”
I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t okay at all.
Instead I was vibrating with need. Every nerve hummed with heat and tension, and this time it wasn’t a fear response.
Not totally.
It was Pike.
It was the heat of his hard body. The scent of him. The way his deep voice slid down my spine and curved around to my belly, pulling me deeper into his orbit. How could I be expected to focus on anything when he was all I could think about?
“You good?” his voice came out rough as if he felt the tension coiled between us too.
I nodded but my breath hitched in my throat.
“You sure?” His fingertips grazed my shoulders, making me shiver.
I nodded even though I wasn’t sure of anything, but the one thing that would help was honesty.
I hoped. “I haven’t been turned on like this in a really long time so it’s kind of knocked me on my ass.
” I waved his concern away. “It’ll take some getting used to, but I’ll be fine.
” My breathless explanation was supposed to make him understand.
It wasn’t supposed to make his eyes go all dark and hot like that. It wasn’t supposed to heighten my arousal either but then he took a step forward.
And then another.
And another until my back hit a large tree. I gasped when one hand braced the spot beside my head while the other hand slid under my tank top in one short, swift move. His fingers found my bare skin and then… oh my god!
His thumb and forefinger squeezed my nipple and I moaned, the sound ripped from my throat in a raw, needy note. “Yes!” He did it again and my hips bucked forward, greedy for more of this pleasure.
As if he heard my thoughts, his lips descended on mine and he kissed me like he was claiming me, like he was making me his.
He lips took control of the kiss, firm and hungry as his tongue swept into my mouth, leading the dance.
His hands switched positions to give the other nipple the same attention while he devoured me whole.
I arched into him, silently begging for more. I was crazy with desire, which hadn’t happened to me since I was a horny nineteen-year-old who thought I knew everything there was to know about the world. This made no sense, but apparently that didn’t matter because I wanted this.
Wanted him.
I was horny for this maddening, brooding, growling biker who somehow made me feel like I hadn’t been dead inside for too many years to count. That was the sad truth, and it felt like something I should lean into and celebrate rather than run from.
His hips pushed forward, letting me feel that I wasn’t in this alone, he was just better at hiding his emotions than me. The long ridge of him pushed against where I needed him and I gasped into his mouth, feeling him smile against my mouth before he pulled back.
I was panting hard and so was he.
But it wasn’t the panting that got to me, it was that rare, dangerous smile that tugged at his lips. “When you talk like that,” he said eventually. “I can’t focus.”
“Same,” I panted.
He stepped away but some distance between us, even his backwards steps were confident. Smug. Satisfied. “Lesson over.”
I watched him walk away trying to remember how to breathe. How to think. I just existed in that moment while my body relearned basic functions.
It’s not supposed to be like this. That’s what I kept telling myself as I fought for every breath I took. I should’ve been focusing on staying alive, on building a new life for me and Gemma, not on a man who made me feel as if I might spontaneously combust from needing him too badly.
But he wasn’t trying to control me, he was teaching me. He was giving me the tools I needed to protect myself and that mattered.
It mattered a lot.
“Which is exactly why he’s so dangerous,” I muttered to myself as I made my way back to the cabin.
“Mommy, I made you a unicorn that breathes fire rainbows!” Gemma held up the drawing with a proud smile.
“That’s gorgeous, baby.” It was perfect because she was perfect, because she hadn’t let the trauma in her young life define her.
Yet.
And if I had anything to do with it, not ever.