Chapter Eighteen
Pike
The sun wasn’t even up yet but I was already lacing up my boots because I couldn’t sleep. Not one fucking wink, at least not one that was free of a certain green-eyed woman whose erotic gasps echoed in my mind.
I didn’t want to think about Chloe, didn’t want to fantasize about her either.
I didn’t want to lay awake in that suddenly too big fucking bed and think about her.
But I spent hours staring at the ceiling, replaying the shit she shared with the MC a few days ago, imagining her pain and humiliation at the way her husband, the man who was supposed to fucking love her, had treated her.
The way he’d terrorized her into submission, and the way she stood taller and looked Rebel in the eyes when she laid her secrets bare for his disbelieving gaze.
From there my thoughts were on her out at that tree, rubbing against me and using her body to beg me for more.
The little gasps and whimpers, the moan she let out when she felt what I was doing to her.
It was too much and there was no way I’d end up lying in bed with a cock so hard it could cut glass.
The way she was frustrated when she told me she hadn’t been turned on in a while.
She was surprised by the admission as much as I was.
And that was fucking hot, but it was also bullshit.
I wasn’t supposed to want her, that wasn’t what this was.
Right?
I mean, how fucked up was it that I craved her when it wasn’t so long ago that I looked her in those big, tear-filled green eyes and blamed her for my sister’s death.
Maybe I hadn’t said those exact words to her—though I was pretty sure I had—but she knew.
She felt it with every angry glare I sent her way. It wasn’t fair but it was how I’d felt.
Ashley was gone and Chloe was still here. Still breathing fresh mountain air. And now? Well, now I was kissing her like she was something I wanted to keep, which was fucked up in ten different ways.
I stomped my feet into my boots and snatched my jacket off the hook, storming past Chloe, who hadn’t registered my presence, which of course meant she was staring at the door as if it would come to life and attack her.
I said nothing, just stepped into the cold early morning air and started my search of the property.
I took my time, letting the air slow me down so that I could take in every single detail before my eyes.
I scanned for signs of movement, tire tracks or footsteps, anything that didn’t belong.
I wasn’t expecting trouble, not after the Ghost Riders showed up a few nights ago, but it was always a possibility which meant I needed to be on alert.
Cautious.
The longer I was out here, the farther I was away from Gemma’s girlish giggles and Chloe’s soft humming. I grunted when my phone buzzed in my pocket.
I thought about ignoring it but with Ash gone, the only people who called me were my club brothers, and this morning the screen said T-Bone. If I didn’t pick up now, the persistent bastard would only call back.
Again and again.
“Yeah,” I tapped the screen and answered with an annoyed grunt.
“You sound like shit,” he laughed. “Is that good or your usual asshole behavior?”
“Depends on who you ask,” I shot back, thinking about Chloe.
T-Bone laughed. “That’s fair. I’m just checkin’ in. You guys holding up okay?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “We’re fine,” I grunted. “Safe.”
“You sure? That’s one hell of a combo you’re working with up there. A little girl and a woman you used to hate mixed with fresh mountain air. Sure you’re not goin’ stir crazy?”
“I’m not sure of a fucking thing,” I admitted but quickly recovered. “I’m fine. They’re fine.”
“That didn’t answer any of my actual questions.”
“I’m not a fragile fucking glass, T.”
He chuckled. “Didn’t say you were, but I did hear you say that she’s making it hard to stay mad.”
I said nothing in response, but that fucker only took my silence as confirmation and laughed even harder.
What the hell was I supposed to say? That I slept with her?
That I wanted to do it again? That when she told me she hadn’t felt this good in a long time, I wanted to strip her down and prove to her it could feel good again.
Really good. I couldn’t say any of that shit.
“You always were shit at staying mad when someone shows you who they really are. Chloe is nothing like any of us thought, is she?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “She’s not just what we thought,” I muttered, eyes narrowing on a small gray bird that landed on the far bank. “She’s still… complicated.”
“You mean she’s not a manipulative trainwreck like you assumed?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “But she’s not completely broken either, despite everything.”
T-Bone was quiet for a long minute before he agreed. “She’s not. Diesel said she came to your aid with the Ghost Riders.”
“Stubborn fucking woman.” I was still equal parts grateful and pissed off she’d done that.
“It worked out fine,” he replied, his tone holding a hint of amusement. “You want the update or we gonna keep gossipin’ like girls?”
“Whenever you’re done painting your nails,” I teased.
“Those motherfuckers tried to jump Falcon yesterday.”
“Fuck, is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Dumbasses didn’t know he’d just finished working on Frenchy from the Black Brotherhood. They rolled up on him thinking he was alone when he wasn’t.” T-Bone laughed. “Got their asses handed to ‘em.”
“Good.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “But shit’s heating up. They’re poking around again, following Faith, and trying to intimidate the girls. I don’t think they know Chloe’s at the clubhouse though. That’s the one thing we’ve got going for us.”
“Once they find that out, it’ll be a nonstop fucking onslaught until they get her. Maybe we should come back, in the dark of night?”
“Not yet,” he shot back too quickly. “If we move, they’ll notice. Right now they’re spread thin and chasing ghosts. Stay put and we’ll reach out again in a day or two.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, annoyed, pissed off, and feeling fucking useless.
“And Pike?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
T-Bone paused for a few seconds too long as if he was weighing his words. “Ashley would’ve wanted you to live. Hell she’d probably demand you live enough for both of you.” He chuckled to himself and ended the call before I could say a word.
I stayed right where I was, rooted to the spot for a long time after the call ended.
Just… staring into the void. The lake was still and silvery blue in the morning light when the sky was light but not quite sun-drenched.
Trees rose around the lake, standing sentry as if the water needed to be protected from the world.
Ashley’s laugh drifted to mind, completely uninvited.
The way she used to tug her hair over her shoulders when she was annoyed, always trying to look older than she was and more intimidating.
She never could because she was small and slim and just fucking light.
It radiated off her like pixie dust, which made it hard for her to be taken seriously, even when she pushed back.
But she’d found a way, which made me admire my little sister even more.
And she loved Chloe.
Apparently.
And yeah, okay, now I understood where she was coming from with that relentless affection and desire to help that cost her life.
Chloe wasn’t what I thought she was. I could admit now that all I saw was the wreckage she’d left in her wake.
Ashley was dead and my MC was being plunged into an unnecessary war just to protect her and her kid.
“Yeah, I get it,” I said out loud in an effort to drown out the sound of my sister’s laughter playing on a loop in my head.
I did get it. Chloe wasn’t a manipulator.
She wasn’t playing games or playing the victim.
She wasn’t just asking for help, she was trying hard as fuck to hold herself together for Gemma, trying not to break down and create some normalcy for a little girl who’d never known any.
She was scared of her own fucking shadow, but she hadn’t run.
She stayed up all night, determined to fight the monsters determined to come in through the front door.
She stayed and she fought despite the fear, and that was hot as hell.
The way she’d come to defend me, the man who’d treated her like shit in the wake of her own grief, because she refused to let anyone fight alone the way she had to for years.
In secret.
In silence.
She wasn’t at all what I thought, she was so much fucking better, which was the only explanation for why I’d kissed her like she was mine. Why I had her like I had the right.
Maybe part of me wanted her to be mine, wanted to have the right to claim her, to possess her. To protect her.
To lov—
Yeah, no. I’m not going there. Not now. Not fucking ever.
Maybe T-Bone was right, Ashley wouldn’t want me to stop living, she wouldn’t want me to place the full weight and blame of her death on Chloe, not after everything she’d been through. I knew she’d want me to stop punishing myself, but that didn’t make it easy to do.
I wanted Chloe, that much was obvious.
I felt guilty and angry as fuck about it, which was only obvious to me.
Still, despite all of that complicated shit, I did want her.
When she looked at me with those wary green eyes all I wanted was to ruin her mouth all over again.
I wanted to scrape my rough hands over the smooth skin to hear the little gasps and sighs she made, as if she’d never experienced so much fucking pleasure.
She hadn’t, that dumb fuck conscious of mine reminded me.
And being the man to make her feel that way?
Amazing.