Chapter 20
Feather
My day with Pike was amazing. I wish I hadn’t woken up to an empty bed, but I did. I wish he would have stayed but he didn’t.
I sigh when someone knocks on the door. I shove off the couch and walk over, pulling it open to see Van standing there.
“What’s going on? Pike isn’t here.”
“I know that. I need you to come with me,” he declares as I look at him funny.
“Why? Where’s Pike?”
“Somethin’ happened, Feather. We’re lockin’ down the clubhouse, and he wants you there.”
“What about work?”
“We’ll handle that. Just please, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I don’t know what kind of shape Pike is in.”
“What happened to him? What’s going on, Van?”
“He was taken. He’s okay, as far as I know. I need you to come with me,” he tells me once more. Inod my head, grab my cell and keys, and follow him out of the house, setting the code before I shut the door. I don’t know what’s happening, and that is freaking me out. My mind whirls with things that could have gone wrong. My heart aches as I think about Pike being hurt again.
“Don’t overthink shit, Feather. We don’t know anything.”
“How do you know I’m overthinking?”
“Because I am, too.” I nod my head as Van opens the truck door and ushers me in. I climb in and settle in the seat while I watch him walk around and climb in. This could only mean something bad, right? He wouldn’t get me if Pike were okay. And locking down the clubhouse? That’s bad, right?
“It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know just yet. I just know the guys are on the way to him,” he says, looking straight ahead and driving.
“Where is he?”
“Not too far from us,” he replies, keeping his tone even. I know he’s trying not to scare me, and I appreciate that, but I need to know. I need to know what’s happening to him.
“Is he hurt?”
“Can you stop with the questions, Feather? I don’t know much of anything, and it’s stressin’ me out,” he says.
“Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. I’m just stressed. I don’t know what the hell is happenin’ anymore than you do.” I close my mouth and don’t ask any more questions as we drive toward the clubhouse. When we get there, I see guys outside with guns in hand, and I cover my mouth with my hand. This is bad. Worse than I thought it would be. One of the guys waves Van through and then steps back into place as I watch. We pull up and Van parks the truck before motioning for me to get out. I climb out and walk to the front of the truck when he grabs my arm and tugs me along with him. Once we’re inside, the door relocks, and I see the magnitude of what really is happening.
All the girls are here, even the club girls. The guys are all on edge, guns in their hands. My heart kicks up a notch as I look around to see if Pike’s here yet. I don’t see him anywhere, so I walk over and take a seat with the other girls. A few look over at me with sorrow in their eyes, while the others don’t even look my way. What the hell is happening? Instead of sitting here and watching them watch me, I shove off the couch and walk down the hall toward his room. I’d rather be alone than out there with their glares. I don’t even know what they’re looking at me that way for.
I walk into the room and drop onto his bed. It smells like him in here so I lay down and pull his pillow to my chest. I hope that whatever is happening, he’s okay. I have to pray he’s okay because I don’t think I can lose him. The reality of my thoughts slams into me. Am I falling in love with him? It would be so easy to. Pike makes it easy.
Thoughts run through my head as I wait for anyone to tell me anything. Finally, the door opens, and I sit up straight as I see Van coming into the room.
“He’s not good, Feather. He’s been beaten to hell.”
“Oh my god. Are they taking him to the hospital?”
“No, he refused to go. He wants to come back here. We have a Doc on his way,” he tells me. My heart sinks in my chest. He’s hurt. He’s truly hurt.
“How bad?”
“I think the psychological shit is worse,” he confesses.
“What do you mean?”
“From what I’m told, he watched two of his brothers die today.” I deflate. I hunch over, clenching my stomach as I think about what the hell he went through. He watched two of his friends die today. How can that be? How can he recover from that? A tear falls down my cheek when Van walks over and rests his hand on my back.
“Get the fuck away from her,” I hear the growl and anger in Pike’s tone as soon as I lift my head, and our eyes lock. He quickly looks away from me and at the floor. Van moves his hand quickly as I stand to my feet and walk toward Pike. I reach out my hand and rest it on his chest. Slowly his eyes move to mine and hold there. I’ve never seen a man so broken in my life. I see the pain in his eyes, and it kills a piece of me.
“Pike,” I whisper his name. He shakes his head slowly as the guys stand around him.
“You shouldn’t be in here.”
“You wanted me here.”
“Not in my room, Feather. Not now.” My chest clenches as I look at the others and back at him. He’s not joking. He doesn’t want me in here. Bowing my head, I lower my hand, but he reaches up quickly and grabs it in his. My eyes shoot back to his, and I see the hurt.
“You’re not leavin’ this clubhouse.”
“I don’t need to stay,” I tell him.
“You’re not leavin’.” His growl scares me a little, and I jump before nodding my head. I won’t leave, but he doesn’t want me here either. The pain sits heavily in my chest as I pull my wrist from his grasp and walk out of the room. I’m down the hall when the tears start to flow. I thought what I was feeling for him was real. I thought I could love that man and now he’s kicking me out? No. He’s been through something traumatic. He’s dealing with it. This is just his way of dealing with it. He’ll come around. I swipe the tears cascading down my cheeks when I see Mask walking toward me.
He motions for me to follow him. I walk through the room and into the office, where he sits at the desk.
“He’s dealin’ with this shit,” he tells me.
“I know.”
“You can’t leave him.”
“I didn’t plan to.”
“That’s good. Really good. He’s gonna need you when he crashes, and I don’t know how long that’s gonna be, Feather.”
“I’m here, Mask. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Not even when he pushes you away?” he pushes. I know what he’s doing. He’s making sure I’m strong enough to handle this. To handle his rejection while he’s healing, and I am. I know I am. If I can handle Blake, I can handle Pike.
“Not even then. I can handle this,” I reassure him as tears still fall down my cheeks. I’m trying to be stronger and keep my head held high.
“He watched his friends, his family be killed tonight. I won’t go into detail, but he saw it all.”
“That’s not going to be easy to get past,” I warn him.
“I know that. That’s why I’m askin’ you if you’re strong enough to handle this. If you’re not, you need to go.”
“I got this. I can do this.”
“You’re a strong girl. Stronger than we gave you credit for. If anyone can deal with this, I’d say it’s you. He’s gonna push you away, Feather.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“You love him?”
“I think I do. I feel strongly for him, Mask. I don’t want to lose him either.”
“Then you do what you need to do. You force your way past the trauma and let him know you’re here.”
“I can do that.”
“Good. Go check on your man.” I nod my head and wipe the tears on the back of my hand before heading out of the office. I walk straight through the main room, catching some stares from the girls and a few guys as I make my way down the hall. I walk into Pike’s room as the guys turn to look at me.
“You shouldn’t be in here right now,” Free says as I hear the shower running.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Leave, Feather.” I shake my head.
“I’m not leaving.”
“He told you to leave,” Pike’s deep voice thunders through the room as I look over at him standing in the bathroom doorway. He’s in nothing but his briefs, bruises, and cuts across his body. I swallow hard as his eyes find mine.
“I’m not leaving, and that’s the last time I’m going to say it,” I tell him, holding my ground. In seconds, Pike has me pinned against the wall, his nostrils flaring as he stares down at me. The guys are at his back, trying to pull him away, but he’s focused on me.
“I said to leave.”
“I said no.”
“You’re makin’ a mistake, Jailbait.”
“No, I’m not. I’m making a choice, Pike.” His eyes flash with something dark, but he doesn’t let go of me even as the guys pull at him. His hands are clamped around my shoulders, pain shooting through my body, but I don’t move. I’m not going to either.
“Come on, Pike. Ease up, brother. You’re gonna hurt her.”
“Maybe she likes it,” he says in return.
“She doesn’t. You’re hurtin’ her, Pike. Look at her face,” Free tells him as I wince. He’s not wrong. He is hurting me, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I need to be here, just like Mask said.
Slowly, his hands loosen on my shoulders, and I let out a breath. Pike steps back and turns, heading back to the bathroom while Free looks at me.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t push him too far, Feather.” I nod my head as the guys turn and leave the room. Maybe it’s a smart move. Maybe it’s not. I have no protection from Pike if they aren’t in here. Somehow, that scares me a little, but I know Pike isn’t hurting me on purpose.
I slip my shirt off and then my jeans, walking into the bathroom, where I find him in the shower. I step in after taking off my bra and panties and rub his back.
“You want me to hurt you?”
“No.”
“Then stop, Feather. Stop now.” I ignore his words. I have to. I need him to know I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I need him to trust me the way I trust him.
I don’t say anything; I just massage his shoulders and his back. I keep my hands moving over him when he spins around and grabs me once more. He shoves me against the wall of the shower and moves in closely.
“You’re makin’ a mistake, Jailbait. I can’t control myself right now. I’ve seen too much. Felt too much.”
“Feel me, Pike.” I’m begging. Begging he would listen to me. I push up on my toes and kiss him. I kiss him until he begins to kiss me back. I kiss him until I feel him slightly loosen up, and then I kiss him some more.