21. Chapter 21
As much as I tried to be confident for Sam, my entire body sweated and trembled.
God, my nerves were fried. What if I did a shitty job at this?
What if I failed to turn him on? What if it was so awkward that he wanted nothing to do with sex again?
I wanted to be so good for him, but I was fucking clueless.
Despite our pathetic attempt at research, it really didn’t explain what it felt like or how would I know if I did a good job or not.
If Sam didn’t like it, that was okay. I’d have to accept his reluctance, but I so wanted this to be good for both of us.
I loved that Sam was honest, telling me exactly what he wanted. It helped push back my feelings of inadequacy and kept me centered on him and his needs. It helped a lot, knowing precisely what he wanted, which was for me to take control, though I had no idea how to really do that.
I hadn’t lied to him when I told him how hot he was with his vulnerable ass in the air, letting me finger him.
He was so sexy, and he had a gorgeous ass.
I loved how his hole just gobbled up my fingers.
And when I hit that spongy spot inside, and he cried out, whimpering for more, my cock leaked all over, throbbing and desperate for more.
As I hovered over my beautiful Sam, his green eyes blown black, his lips swollen from our kiss and arousal, I fell in love with him all over again. Or perhaps I fell more in love with him, though I had no idea how that was possible.
“Are you okay?” I asked for probably the thousandth time, but Sam didn’t seem to mind as he nodded and told me yes.
I sat back on my heels, trying to figure out how to get myself in him. Did I push back his legs? Just find my way in there? Would my dick just know? Fuck, this shouldn’t be so confusing.
I looked down at his ass cheeks with his feet firmly planted on the bed. “Uhm… Hmm. I guess… can you hold your legs back?”
“Yeah.”
Sam slipped his hands under his thighs, pulled his legs to his stomach, and spread them, exposing himself right where I needed to be. Okay, now we were getting somewhere.
I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and situated myself to where I could put my dick in him, hovering over his body. With my clammy and trembling hand, I grabbed my dick and edged the tip toward his hole.
Sam’s eyes grew wide, craning his head to watch my movements. My thundering heart hammered hard against my chest as I tried to push myself in. Sam grunted and winced, so I quickly stopped and looked at him. “I’m so sorry. Did that hurt?”
“Ah, a little.”
“Okay… uhm, I think you’re supposed to loosen your muscles there and push down on me. I believe that’s what we read.”
“ Mmhm … yeah. Let me try.” His eyes closed, and his brows furrowed as he tried to concentrate on staying open for me. “Oh, god… what if it always hurts? I don’t want this to…”
“Don’t worry. It’s supposed to sting a little, I think, but just try to relax, baby. If you don’t like it, then you can be inside me. It’s not the end of the world.”
He bit his bottom lip, swallowing up his little lip ring, and nodded.
“Breathe, baby… just breathe and let me in.” Shit, I needed to tell myself that, too, catching myself holding my breath several times.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
Biting the tip of my tongue, I eased my tip in.
This time, he tried to keep himself loose and not clamp down on me.
I slowly inched my way in, careful to check on Sam and ask him questions.
It wasn’t exactly spontaneous or sexy, but I was confident once we got past the awkward stage and I was fully in him, it would be better.
Gay men did this all the time, so surely sex was enjoyable, right?
I rested my hands on either side of him, pulled out, and slowly eased in another inch. His hands gripped my arms as he breathed through the pressure with his eyes clamped shut.
“You sure you’re okay?”
Sam huffed and quirked a smile. “Nate… go.”
As I pushed in more, he loosened up. His fingers, painfully digging into my forearms, eased, and his breathing settled.
I sunk into him after the last inch, and it was done. I was in. Holy shit, I was inside Sam. We became one. Finally. Instead of getting lost in my excitement that we were complete, I pulled out and pushed in again. Soon, he loosened up even more, and I could ease in and out with a smooth glide.
My heart rushed up to my chest with a surge of emotions. I looked down at Sam, my soul mate, with his eyes closed, but he no longer scrunched them together.
His ass wrapped around my dick, firing off every single fucking nerve ending. The sensation was overwhelming and arousing, and I needed more, but I needed to go slow.
“How do you feel?” I asked.
“Good, it doesn’t burn anymore. It’s weird, like I’m really full.”
“But do you like it?”
“I… I’m not sure. You gotta move, though. Try to hit that spot again, like you did with your fingers. I saw stars, just like you’re my star. It was as if I saw you behind my lids in an explosive galaxy where stars are born. I want that.”
He had such a beautiful way with words. I knew that if we’d had a better life and better education, he would’ve had a remarkable future. Instead, he was stuck with me and with nothing.
I shut up my distracting thoughts and thought about our moment. Our unity. Our becoming one.
“How does it feel for you?” he asked.
“So fucking good. It’s like… it’s hard to describe… like you’re hugging me really tight, but you’re so soft, smooth, and warm. I feel you… everywhere. It’s comforting, yet it’s a fucking turn-on. I need to move.”
His green eyes popped open, filled with all the love I felt for him. “Then move.”
My hips thrust back and forth, gliding with no resistance now. I pulled out and punched back in, testing out movements and speed. I wasn’t sure where or how to hit that spot for him again until I hit him a certain way that pulled out a whimper from him.
“Did I hit you just right, baby?”
He nodded with his eyes shut and his full lips parted. “More. And talk to me.”
My face burned, not used to dirty talk. “You want it hard, baby? Fast?”
“Uh huh… both.”
His legs wrapped around my waist and pulled me in deeper, throwing his head back and groaning. “God… so deep.”
My eyes rolled up into my head, and my toes curled as his ass suddenly squeezed the hell out of my dick. I was too stunned to speak for a second.
“Fuck, Sam… you’re so tight.”
I leaned down to give him a quick and sweaty kiss before I nuzzled his throat. My hips punched back into him over and over as he held on tighter to me with his legs and arms, fingers digging into my back.
“Nate…” he breathed. “I feel…”
“I know, baby. I feel it, too.”
Soon, lust overwhelmed my emotions, taking over my body and forcing me into something primal and instinctual. I sat up, grabbed his thighs, and shoved them back.
“I need to see you swallow up my dick.”
“Yes, I want to see, too.”
Sam propped himself up with his elbows as he watched me slide in and out of him. “Fuck me…”
“Yeah,” I panted, getting lost in him swallowing up my cock over and over.
It started out rough, but now, with the smoothness of our movements, I realized this was meant to be.
We’d waited so long for this very day to happen just like this.
It couldn’t have happened any other way.
Everything culminated in this very moment.
My body turned to fire as the sweat dripped off me, making my curls stick to my face. Sam clung to the blankets underneath him, still watching me fuck him. Shit, I needed to remember to talk to him.
“You’re fire, baby. I love you wrapped around me.”
“Feels so good, Nate.”
“Fuck, it does.”
I dropped his legs and leaned over him to watch his face, to connect with him as I got closer and closer. I fucking needed to come, yet my body held back for some reason, maybe to sustain it.
“Do you need to come, baby?”
“Yes!” His voice was nearly shrill, making me laugh.
“Stroke yourself for me. Can you do that? Make yourself come.”
I’d do it, but I was afraid I’d lose my balance and fall on top of him, ruining the moment.
He spit in his hand and grabbed his cock, tugging on it with such a rapid force that I worried he’d chafe his skin.
I was growing tired, and my thighs burned, not used to this sort of exertion, but I moved faster to keep up with his stroking. Sweat dripped off the tip of my nose and onto his chest, while beads of sweat formed on his forehead and upper lip.
Suddenly, his eyes rolled up into his head, and his mouth dropped open while his body froze.
“ Ohgodohgodohgod …” Spurts of cum shot out of him so hard that some of it hit his chin.
Then my own eyes rolled up into my head from a tightness I’d never experienced before squeezing the fuck out of me.
My balls grew tight and heavy, and my body shuddered with the pressure tingling around my groin and spine.
It was my turn to freeze as his hole milked my cum from me.
“Fuck, Sam… fuck.”
If I thought him sucking me off had been amazing, sex was in an alternate plane of reality.
My eyes watered from the ecstasy and overwhelming sensation of arousal and emotions.
It wasn’t just sex, but sex with Sam, my one true person.
This sealed the deal. This proved he was mine and had always belonged to me as I belonged to him.
Once his ass milked me dry, I had no more energy and just fell on top of him, uncaring that cold cum covered his stomach and chest. His fingers slid up and down my back as our panting breaths calmed down.
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk so much to you,” I finally said once I found my brain and lungs. “I couldn’t find any words while being inside you.”
“It’s fine. I was surprisingly focused on you.”
“That was… fucking amazing.”
“It was perfect, Star. So perfect. Though it hurt at first, and we fumbled for a bit, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. This was us and exactly as it should’ve been.”
I smiled at that. “I was thinking the same thing while inside you.”
I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest as his fingers tangled in my curls. “I love you so fucking much,” I said with a surge of sudden emotions.
“I fucking love you, Star.”
Before I started getting weepy, I peeled myself off him. “Let’s shower before we’re glued together.”
Sam laughed. “Sounds good.”
After our shower and stripping the sheets off my bed, we replaced them with new ones. Sam lay on his stomach as I lay on my side, dragging my fingers along his smooth back. That emotional surge returned, making my stomach twist and my heart pound. It was love tenfold.
I traced words of love on his goose-pimpled back from my touch. He turned his face to me with his eyes closed, but a small smile played on his lips. I’d never seen Sam so content. That didn’t mean his brain wasn’t moving a million miles a minute, but at least he seemed a bit calmer.
“What word am I writing on your back?” I spelled out his name.
“Sam.”
“Yep. This one?”
His smile turned shy as I spelled out, ‘I love you.’
“I love you.”
“You’re good at this. How about this one?”
“Hmm, I can’t tell.”
“I spelled out soul mate.” I rested my head next to him, my hand now lying flat on his strong back. “Because you’re my soul mate,” I whispered.
His eyes popped open, and he kissed the tip of my nose. “I know.”
“You belong to me always, and I belong to you.”
“Forever.”
That was the most confidence I’d ever heard from him since we began all this with my accidental kiss. Whatever happened between us or what roads led us to new paths, I knew we would always live it hand-in-hand together.