CHAPTER SEVEN | Ben
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ben
T he apartment Ben was currently hanging out in was devoid of any sound beyond the clicking of game controllers and the occasional good-natured barb he and Henry would throw at one another as they played Mortal Kombat. Both men were entirely focused on the game, and while you’d think that after a long day of coding a video game the last thing Ben would want to do is play one, but creating a game and playing one were two very different things. Gaming was relaxing, especially when it involved tension release in the form of virtually kicking someone’s ass.
Henry paused the game and put his controller down on the coffee table. “I’m getting another slice. Want one?”
Ben shook his head, the three slices of mushroom pizza currently housed in his stomach was enough for him. “Nah, but I will take another one of those oatmeal chocolate chip cookies you made.” He shouldn’t have been surprised that a guy who grew up in a bakery knew his way around an oven, but when Ben had taken a bite of the chunky, chocolatey treat earlier, he had been. It seemed to be just one more example of how little Ben actually knew about his friend, and once again he vowed to do better.
“Sure thing.” Henry wandered over to the kitchen, his faded jeans and Nintendo t-shirt bringing a small smile to Ben’s face.
Henry obviously had no problem being himself in front of others. Ben had at least made an attempt to drop his guard where his friend was concerned, comfortable enough with Henry to show up to the man’s apartment in sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. He’d debated wearing something more in line with his business attire, but as they had gone running before, Ben reasoned that his current outfit wasn’t too much a deviation from that.
Wearing his favorite outfit was one way Ben was making an attempt to be less anxious around others, but he should probably practice being more talkative as well. Ben looked around the apartment while he tried to settle his nerves and gather up the courage to ask his best friend a little more about himself. The space was bright, yet cozy, with a lot of color in the form of art on the walls or the furniture, and a big yellow chair next to the gray couch he was currently sitting on looked comfortable and well loved. This apartment was definitely designed as a place for people to gather, and Ben wondered if that was Henry’s doing or his sisters.
As Henry plopped down on the couch again, Ben tried to think about a good place to start a conversation. The two of them talked about personal things occasionally, but most of the time those talks were initiated by Henry. What would it be like for him to start a conversation for a change?
Henry shoved a plate with the oatmeal cookie his way, breaking into his thoughts. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, man.” Ben stuffed the cookie into his mouth to give himself some more time. The chocolate hit his tongue, and he momentarily forgot about all his problems with what other people did on a daily basis without any trouble, deciding to just sit there and enjoy his food. When the cookie was gone and he was all out of excuses, he looked over at his friend once more and cleared his throat. “So, these cookies are really good. Have you always liked baking?” There, that hadn’t been so hard. His heart rate kicking up a notch spoke to the contrary, but Ben was proud of himself for taking that first step.
Henry paused, his pizza halfway to his mouth. “I guess.” He seemed to consider the question more carefully before tossing the slice back on his plate. “I mean, I like it okay, but I never wanted to do it forever like Hailey. I mostly just stress bake or bake for other people.”
“Stress baking, huh? Is something causing you a lot of stress at the moment?” Ben asked, grateful that Henry had provided him an opportunity to ask a follow-up.
Henry’s eyes widened slightly, probably from the shock of Ben asking him something that wasn’t related to the game they were playing. “Um, yea. Kind of.” Henry’s expression was curious as he glanced over at Ben. “You sure you want to know?”
Ben scratched his jaw, wondering if Henry was struggling with this as much as he was. “Totally. I mean, friends talk about this kind of stuff, right?”
Henry chuckled, his few dark curls flopping about his ears as he shook his head. “You usually don’t.”
Ben tilted his head in agreement. “I mean, sure, I’m a pretty quiet guy. I don’t normally do much socializing.” He shrugged a shoulder, willing his body to settle and exhaled the unsteadiness he felt. “I’m trying to be better, okay?”
Henry held up his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t trying to put you down or anything. I think it’s great, and I really appreciate you asking.” Henry ran his fingers through his hair and itched his scalp, his obvious comfort with the conversation calming the rest of Ben’s nerves. “Hailey is super busy and with her boyfriend, or fiancé I guess I should say now, and Holly is always running around doing wedding planner stuff, so I haven’t really gotten to talk about it much.” Ben nodded along as Henry gathered up the courage to talk. “I don’t know. I think I’m just tired and lonely. It’s tax season right now, so on top of all my usual business clients and helping manage their finances, I freelance and help people with their personal taxes too. It’s good money, don’t get me wrong, but I just feel like it would be more worth it if I had someone to come home to at the end of the day. I mean, don’t you ever feel like that?”
The truth was, Ben had never felt like that, at least not until recently. Since meeting Holly, however, all that had changed, but he was still trying to make sense of those feelings and wasn’t sure how to put that into words for his friend. He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “I didn’t used to. I honestly thought being alone was the best thing for me.”
Henry sensed the hesitation in his voice. “But...” he prompted.
Ben looked at him wryly. “I don’t know. Something’s changed. I want different things now, and not being alone is one of them.”
Henry smiled just enough that one of his dimples appeared. They were the same dimples his sister had, though Ben hadn’t found himself dreaming about the ones on his friend whereas Holly’s had already made multiple appearances and a few cameos in his daytime reverie as well. “I think that’s great, man. I say do what makes you happy and if being alone isn’t it anymore, then try to change it.” Henry looked at him slyly. “Have anyone in mind?”
The corner of Ben’s mouth twitched but he suppressed the smile, not wanting to give anything away. “I might, but I am definitely not ready to talk about that.” He had already put himself out there more tonight than he had in a very long time, and while he was proud of his progress, he certainly wasn’t going to push the envelope.
“Hey, baby steps, right?” Henry cheered and took another bite of his pizza.
Ben took a sip of beer and wiped his mouth. “What about you? Anyone in mind for yourself?”
Henry chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. “Not really. I kind of hate dating apps, and going out to bars and clubs isn’t something I love to do. It never really pays off anyway.”
“I hear that.” Ben hated going to bars and clubs, but probably not for the same reasons Henry did. Going out to places like that equated to too much small talk and the venues were always so noisy that it immediately put him on edge. Ben nodded toward the paused game screen, eager to celebrate his foray into socializing while not extending it longer than necessary. “Should we keep going?”
“Just give me a sec to finish my slice,” he mumbled around a mouthful of food.
They were just about to start the game up again when the door to the apartment opened and Holly breezed inside, the two men watching as she tossed her purse on the counter and headed straight to the refrigerator. She opened it up and peered inside for a moment before slamming it shut with a groan. When she twirled around to leave, she spotted the pizza box and the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on the counter. Ben watched with rapt attention as she danced around the small space, grabbing a plate from the cabinet and tossing a slice of pizza onto her plate before marching over to the yellow chair next to the men and plopping herself down.
Henry started to open his mouth to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut when his sister started to move again. Holly huffed and stood up again, struggling with her coat for a moment before finally whipping it off and tossing it in the direction of one of the bedrooms, presumably hers. She sat down on the chair again and crossed one leg over the other, reaching up to the top of her boots and dragging the zipper down. Ben had no idea why she was undressing in the middle of the living room or in front of him, but he couldn’t have stopped her if his life depended on it. He was too busy watching her long legs appear as she peeled off each boot and tossed it over near her coat.
Once her shoes had been disposed of, she crouched over the chair and reached up under her skirt. Ben’s eyes widened, and if he had been eating, he was fairly certain he would have choked to death as he watched her pull off some undergarment and toss it behind her. “Stupid Spanx,” she muttered.
Ben was already deep into a fantasy where he was the one helping her undress when she sat down once again, crossed her legs on the chair, and picked up her plate. The moan that fell from Holly’s mouth as she ate her meal had Ben adjusting his position on the couch to hide the rapid tenting in his sweats. Between her undressing and the noises she was making, he was getting uncomfortably aroused and his favorite appendage had decided to give her a standing ovation. Throat thick with arousal, he coughed to clear it. At the gruff sound, Holly finally looked up to acknowledge the other two occupants of the room, her eyes landing on Ben and widening to the size of the plate she was holding.
She swallowed the lump of pizza in her mouth and half smiled. “Hello.” Her voice sounded full of insecurity. Undressing and making herself comfortable in her own home was likely a regular occurrence, but she probably wasn’t used to having an audience while she did it.
“Hello, Holly.” Ben’s mouth twitched in amusement, not at her distress, but at how it made him feel connected to her. Holly always seemed so confident in herself and her ability to spread joy, that it was nice to feel somewhat equal footing with her for once. “How are you this evening?”
“Good, good. I’m all good.” She ended her babbling by humming as her eyes darted between him and her brother. “What are you doing here?” Ben gestured toward the television and she nodded, grabbing the throw blanket behind her and pulling it into her lap, all of the delicious looking exposed skin of her legs disappearing from sight. It was a damned shame because he was enjoying the view, but it did help with the situation in his sweats. Marginally. “Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”
Ben glanced over at Henry who had a perplexed expression on his face. “You guys have met in person before?”
“Holly is planning my mother’s wedding.” Holly simply nodded, clearly still shell shocked from his unexpected appearance, and Ben smiled once again at her slight discombobulation.
Henry shrugged and gestured to his sister with the controller. “You want in on the game? We can take turns if you really want to play.”
Ben snorted at the thought, but instantly regretted the action when Holly glared at him, straightening in her chair and putting down her plate as if readying herself for a battle. “What was all that about?” She wiggled her finger in the direction of his face and he wiped at his mouth, wondering if he had chocolate or pizza sauce on his face. “You don’t think I can play because I’m a girl or something?”
Ben held up his hands in supplication. He was no sexist, but Holly was sunshine and rainbows, not blood baths and fatalities like the game called for. “Of course not. It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a girl. You just don’t seem like the Mortal Kombat type.”
She propped an elbow on her leg and rested her hand on one fist, looking very interested in his response. “What type am I?”
Henry shook his head in warning, but Ben barreled ahead. Apparently now that the social floodgates were open, there was no stopping him. “I don’t know. You’re happy all the time, and you plan weddings, so you must love all that romantic stuff.” He lifted a shoulder, unsure of how else to describe it without giving away just how much time he’d spent thinking about her. “I guess I just don’t see you playing a violent video game.”
Holly shot him a look as she dusted her hands off and glanced over at her brother. “Toss me your controller.”
“Holls,” Henry started, but she cut him off with a raised hand and a sharp look.
“Hen. Toss me your controller, please.” The forced smile on her face made Ben’s gut churn, but he’d made his bed, so he supposed he would have to lie in it.
Henry did as he was asked and tossed his controller to his sister, glancing over at Ben with an apologetic look. “Sorry, man, but you asked for it.”
“Ready?” Holly asked Ben politely.
“Um, sure.” Ben hit pause to resume the game unaware of just how badly he’d messed up. Holly proceeded to kick his ass all over the screen, using moves he hadn’t known existed before. Even using his favorite character couldn’t stop her from wiping the floor with him. Ben concentrated as hard as he could and while he landed a punch or two, the fight was basically over before it began, ending with his character broken and bloody and hers without so much as a scratch.
He stared slack jawed at Holly as she tossed the controller back to her brother, her expression one of sweet victory as she smiled at Ben. “That was fun, thanks.”
“That was fun?” He huffed in disbelief at the ass-whopping he’d just received by the merriest woman he had ever met. Her gaming prowess scared him and turned him on in equal measure, another shift on the couch necessary after their little battle on the screen. “I barely landed a single punch.”
“I know.” Holly leaned over and gently patted his head, the patronizing move welcome because it meant he got to feel her fingers slide through his hair, even for just a moment. They were soft and gentle, exactly how he imagined they would be. “It was cute how hard you were trying, though.” She sat back and grabbed her plate of food again, sending another smirk his way.
Ben watched as she took a bite of her pizza, perfectly content to just sit there and mock him. Normally this kind of teasing from someone would have him looking for the nearest exit, but this was so comfortable and familiar, all he could do was chuckle. “Well, wow. I guess I was wrong.”
Holly swallowed her bite, her shoulder bouncing lightly. “You were, but that’s okay. We all see people a certain way until we really get to know them.”
Ben nodded in agreement, realizing he had made so many assumptions about Holly based off their brief interactions, but he didn’t really know her that well. The fact that she was able to completely own him in the game was an illustration of that, and he found himself wondering what else he didn’t know about her. The interest he had in her hadn’t waned in the slightest, only grown with each passing moment until now, he was ravenous for any scrap of information he could get.
“I tried to warn you.” Henry’s words cut into his thoughts, though Ben knew he would be revisiting them a lot in the coming hours, days, and weeks.
“You did,” Ben agreed before turning back to Holly. “How did you get so freakishly good at that game, anyway?” He really wanted to know how and why someone who spent all of their time being sunshine personified while helping people plan weddings would be interested in playing a fighting game.
Holly tilted her head in thought. “Well, I have bad days just like everyone else, and I find that fighting games can be a good stress reliever.” She nodded at the television, a smirk playing at the corner of her kissable mouth. “Like just now, that was fantastic. I had a rough afternoon and whaling on you just now really helped.”
“Fair enough.” Ben could hardly disagree with her assessment since he had just thought the same thing earlier, and as he reviewed what she had just told him, he realized she had given him yet another opportunity to practice his people skills while getting to know her better. “Why was your afternoon so rough?”
She sighed and leaned back in the chair, the smile gone and her eyes suddenly tired as she pulled a hair tie off of her wrist and whipped her hair into a sloppy bun. Her cocoa brown waves had looked good down, but he also loved seeing her like this, a little less put together and a little more relaxed. “I had to go help one of my higher maintenance clients shop for her wedding dress, and we were there for hours before she finally settled on one.” She leaned forward and rested her head on her hands, and Ben suddenly longed to be the one to help her carry her burdens. “I get it. You want the day to be perfect and you want the dress to be perfect. It’s just that this particular client is like that with every teeny, tiny detail, and she keeps changing her mind all the time. It was just a lot.”
“I get it. Sometimes I’ll be working on a game design and the developer keeps altering their demands. It can be tough.” Sometimes Ben hated having to reprogram things multiple times because of the whims of the lead developer, and it was nice to discover that they had another thing in common.
“Yes, definitely.” She blew a raspberry, drawing Ben’s attention once again to her full and shiny lips. Ben wanted to sink his teeth into the bottom one, nibbling on the tender flesh until she forgot all her worries and sank into the pleasure he wanted to give her. He coughed and adjusted on the couch again, Holly’s bright smile stirring feelings in his chest that were as warm and comforting as she was. “I guess that’s what makes the games so awesome. I can’t take out my frustrations on my client, but I can take it out on your character.”
Ben laughed and returned her smile, cheek muscles tight from disuse stretching as if they’d awoken from a long slumber. It was nice, both the feeling and having a reason to smile in the first place, something that seemed to be happening more and more around Holly. As he stared at her she stared back, a secretive expression on her face and something akin to awe flashing in her beautiful blue eyes.
Ben’s smile waned and he grabbed a napkin. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“No, you’re good. I just knew your smile would be a great one, and I’m happy to be right.” She stood up and walked toward the kitchen to deposit her plate in the sink before turning toward her bedroom. “Goodnight, Hen.” She leaned down to hug her brother and as she did, Holly looked over his shoulder and winked at Ben. “Goodnight, Benji.”
Ben watched her go, lamenting the loss of her company, but the smile she bestowed upon him as she closed the door would tide him over until he saw her again. When he faced the television again, he caught Henry staring at him and didn’t like the look he saw in his friend’s eye. “What?” The two siblings staring at him was really starting to make him feel self-conscious.
Henry shook his head with a sad smile. “Just don’t hurt her. Okay, man?”
Ben leaned back. “What do you mean?” Was it that obvious that he was into Holly? Perhaps Ben wasn’t as good at hiding his feelings as he thought he was.
Henry scoffed. “Look, you said you weren’t ready to talk about it, and I can respect that.” He pointed at his sister’s closed door and looked at Ben, his expression tight and voice low. Whether it was so Holly couldn’t hear him or to try and sound threatening to Ben, he wasn’t sure. “But if she is the person you’re interested in, just be careful. Holly feels things really deeply, and as much as she exudes joy, if she’s hurting, she experiences that pain pretty acutely. So don’t pursue anything unless you’re sure.”
“I won’t,” he promised. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt someone, especially someone as bright and shiny as Holly. Maybe he should just leave her alone. He wouldn’t want to lose his friendship with her brother, and Henry was definitely the type to take his sister’s side no matter what, not that Ben would blame him for doing so. Henry sat back and they said nothing more on the topic as they gamed for another hour before calling it a night.
As he drove home, Ben thought long and hard about what Henry had told him in regard to his sister. He knew he was possibly risking his friendship with Henry, one that he enjoyed and was starting to deepen with Ben’s willingness to be more talkative, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Holly and how her joy was a balm to his grumpy soul. Being his grouchy, silent self didn’t frighten her off, and he liked the person he was when she was around. With a smile and thoughts of Holly in his head, Ben decided he would take things one day at a time and wait until it felt right to make a more definitive move, hoping it happened soon. He was already preoccupied with visions of Holly on his couch at home, playing video games with him and making the nights all the more enjoyable simply because she was there, and he desperately wanted to make those visions a reality.