45. Sean
CHAPTER 45
SEAN
I wait for news about Ashley’s surgery alone. My father and Marnie are currently trying to get back from their vacation in Italy, and Kenzie will have to wait until morning to drive from New York due to poor weather conditions. She wanted to come right away, but I couldn’t risk her getting into a car wreck too. She might be able to catch an early morning flight. I haven’t called any of Ashley’s friends yet. I know I should, and it’d be better to wait for news with company, but I suppose I’m punishing myself.
When I hear Kenzie call my name, it’s a shock. I turn around and see her striding toward me. She has snow in her hair and on her clothes, which means the weather hasn’t improved. I jump out of my seat. “How are you here?”
She hugs me tight. “I was already on the road with my band. We had a gig two hours from here. You would know if you had listened to me.”
I’m mad she risked it, but also so fucking relieved she came. I pull back. “It’s still two hours of driving at night during a snowstorm.”
“Stop giving me shit. How’s Ash?”
“She’s still in surgery but…” A lump forms in my throat. “She was in bad shape, Kenzie.”
Kenzie’s eyes fill with tears, mirroring my own. “She’s a fighter. She’ll pull through.” She looks around. “Where are all her friends and your teammates?”
I step away from Kenzie and rub my face. “I haven’t called anyone yet. It’s my fault she was driving during a snowstorm. I fucked up.”
“What did you do?”
I glance at Kenzie. “I kissed her.”
Kenzie furrows her brows. “And that made her run away from you?”
“Not the kiss… the regretting part.”
“Oh Sean… if you still have feelings for her after all this time, why the hell are you not together?”
My stomach churns. Kenzie is still in the dark that Ashley is our half-sister. I should have told her, but I was too wrapped up in my shame to say anything. I can’t keep the secret any longer though.
“I… there’s something you need to know.”
I take a deep breath, gathering the courage to blurt out the truth, but from the corner of my eye, I notice a doctor wearing scrubs and a nurse walking over. I tense.
“Are you Ashley Barnes’s family?” the doctor asks.
“Yes. She’s our sister,” I say.
“I’m Doctor Murphy. I’m part of the team of surgeons working on your sister. Where are your parents?”
“They aren’t here yet. How is she?” I ask through the lump in my throat.
“Her condition is still critical. She lost a lot of blood, and her kidneys were severely damaged.”
“You can’t repair them?” I ask.
“We’re working to salvage the left kidney, but unfortunately, we’ve already lost the right.”
“Oh my God.” Kenzie covers her mouth with her hands.
My pulse accelerates. “Are you saying she might need a kidney transplant?”
“Yes. It’s easier to find a match among relatives. If you agree, I can have you tested right away.”
Kenzie shakes her head. “She’s our stepsister, we aren’t?—”
“We’ll do it, doctor.”
He frowns. “If you’re not blood related, the chances are?—”
“We are. She’s our half sister. We share the same father.”
Kenzie whips her face to mine, but I keep eye contact with the doctor even though her gaze is burning a hole through my face now.
“Okay. Nurse Wilson will take you have to have your tests done.”
I start to follow the nurse, but Kenzie grabs my arm. “Sean? Is that true?”
“Yes,” I hiss. “Dad told me after he had his heart attack.”
Kenzie’s eyes flash with sorrow and hurt. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Does Ash know?”
“No. Come on. We can talk later.”
Clenching my jaw, I keep pace with the nurse. But Kenzie doesn’t want to walk in silence. “I can’t believe you kept it a secret all this time.”
“I’m sorry. I… Dad asked me not to tell anyone, and I thought it was for the best.”
A heavy silence follows, but Kenzie isn’t done talking. “You must have felt awful when you found out. I know I would have in your shoes.”
“I did. I still do.” I look at her. “Are you angry with me?”
“I… I don’t know yet. It’s a lot to process, and I’m worried sick about Ash.”
My chest hurts thinking about Ashley, fighting for her life. I throw my arm around Kenzie’s shoulders, needing the proximity. “Me too. You can yell at me later once Ash is out of danger.”
“Marnie doesn’t know about you and Ash, does she?”
“No. Dad wanted to spare her the heartache. I did the same for Ash.”
“You could have told me . I wouldn’t have judged you or blabbered.”
The nurse shows us to an exam room so she can take our blood samples. It’s the first step to determine if we’re a match for Ashley. If we are, then there will be more exams, such as imaging tests, EKGs, and a physical examination to make sure we’re in top health. It’s paramount we get the first results fast, but I also know how backed up hospital labs can get. I wrote a paper about hospital procedures for one of my pre-med classes.
“How long until we know the blood test results?” I ask as the nurse takes a sample of Kenzie’s blood first.
“It shouldn’t take long. We’ll ask the lab to prioritize it.”
“And if Ash loses the left kidney too, how long can she survive without one?” Kenzie asks in a small voice.
Nurse Wilson’s mouth tenses, and her brows pinch together.
“A couple days,” I reply before the nurse can.
Kenzie looks at me, already tearing up. “Sean…”
“One of us will be a match, Kenzie. I know it.”
I try to put on a brave face for Kenzie’s sake, but I’m falling apart inside. The truth is, I’m not certain of anything.
A fter our blood samples are taken to the lab, Kenzie and I go ahead with the other exams to save time. In between tests, I finally call Gia, and then Coach Bedford. Because we’ve been moving from room to room inside the hospital, I have no idea who’s in the waiting area now, but considering how tight our group of friends is, I’d guess it’s everyone.
Almost two hours later, there’s only the physical exam left. We haven’t received an update about Ashley yet. I’m tense as hell, waiting for the doctor to come into the exam room. Kenzie is so nervous, she’s chewed her nails to the quick.
When the door finally opens, two doctors come in—the one who’s giving us the physical, and Ashley’s surgeon. My heart lurches inside my chest painfully.
“How is she?” I ask.
“She’s stable now. We were able to save the left kidney for now, but we’ll have to wait and see.”
“That’s good, right? That means she won’t need a transplant,” Kenzie says.
“The next forty-eight hours will be critical. The left kidney might still fail.”
“Do you have our test results then? Are we a match?” I ask.
The second doctor glances at the tablet in his hand. “There was only one sibling blood sample, and yes it was a match.”
My stomach dips. “What do you mean, only one sibling? The nurse collected both our blood samples. There should be two.”
The doctor scans his tablet again, then looks at me and Kenzie. He seems uncomfortable now.
“Whatever you have to say, go ahead,” I press.
“You’re not biologically related to the patient. Only your sister is.”
All the blood seems to drain from my face, and I get dizzy. “What? That’s not possible.”
The doctor pushes his wire-rimmed glasses up his nose. “The results are clear.”
“Maybe there was a mix-up in the lab,” Kenzie pipes up.
“Unlikely, but we can run the test again.”
My mind is spinning like a top, and the walls in this room seem like they’re closing in, ready to crush me.
“In the meantime, I’d like to finish your physical and get you ready in case we need to go ahead with a transplant,” the surgeon tells Kenzie.
“I want to retake the blood test right now ,” I grit out.
The surgeon and the other doctor exchange a glance. Then the one wearing glasses says, “Of course.”
I jump up from my chair. “Can I see Ashley?”
“She’s still in the ICU, heavily sedated, but perhaps after you finish retaking the blood test, you can visit her for a bit.”
I turn to Kenzie, and she gives me a reassuring smile. “Go on. I’ll meet you later.”
My heart is stuck in my throat as I walk out of the room, but my thoughts are spiraling. What if I’m not truly Ashley’s half brother? If my father cheated, it’s possible my mother did too. God, after all this time torturing myself, staying away from Ashley and hurting her in the process, finding out our love was never forbidden to begin with would be a punch to my throat. And we’d have a life-threatening accident that might take Ashley away from me forever to thank for it. What a sick joke.
Hope is a dangerous thing though. Hospitals do mess up results sometimes, hence why I insisted on retaking the test. I get a different nurse this time, and mercifully, she isn’t the chatty kind. Once she’s done, I ask to see Ashley.
“If she’s in the ICU, I’m afraid visiting hours aren?—”
“Doctor Murphy said he’d let me go see her after I had my blood test.” I cut her off. I’m not about to be told to wait God knows how many hours until I’m allowed to see Ashley.
“He did? Let me check with him then. One second.” She walks behind the nurses’ station and places a call.
While I wait, I check my phone for messages. There’s one text from Dad saying he’s about to board a flight to Boston. He should land in seven hours. It’s a family group chat, and I see that Kenzie already told them Ashley is out of surgery and she’s stable. She didn’t say anything about a possible kidney transplant though. That would only freak out Marnie and Dad more than they already are.
“All right. I checked with Doctor Murphy. He said you can visit your sister, but only for a few minutes.”
“Thank you.”
I follow the nurse in silence, preparing myself mentally to see Ashley in a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines. It can’t be worse than the gruesome ambulance ride where she was covered in blood and the paramedics worked relentlessly to keep her alive.
I freeze when we stop in front of her room. There’s a large window facing the hallway, so I can see Ashley. Even though she’s no longer bleeding, the sight makes my legs go weak.
“I’ll be back to fetch you in ten minutes or so,” the nurse tells me.
I nod, then shuffle inside the room. I’m shaking from head to toe, and the knot in my throat feels enormous. She’s so pale, and there’s a small suture on her left cheek where before there was a gash. She’s still intubated and likely won’t wake for hours.
I take her hand in mine and wince at its coldness. “Ash… my love. I need you to get better, I need you to fight.” Hot tears stream down my face, but I can’t be bothered to wipe them off. “I’m so sorry for all my stupid mistakes, for every time I hurt you. Come back to me, even if it’s to tell me to go to hell.”
I don’t expect a response, but when her hand twitches in mine, my heart soars. She doesn’t move again, but I’ll take the first twitch as a sign. I’m getting Ashley back.