Chapter 10 - Kilian
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Kilian
If Dominic thought he could just slip out of this mess, he was mistaken. He’d tried to avoid me on Friday, and he actually succeeded. Without giving me the chance to catch him at the exit, he simply slipped away.
If I hadn’t had to work, he wouldn’t have gotten away. Unfortunately, I was stuck in the control room, getting ready for the show, while Sebastian babbled away in my earpiece.
“Let’s hit the town later,” he said. “I slept until noon, so I can’t just go home. I want to do something tonight!”
“I’m in! No matter what!” I heard Jacob say in the background.
He was part of Sebastian’s set design team and about the same age as us.
“Did you hear that, Kil? We’re going out! The three of us!”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope! You’re coming with us! You can choose where we go, though.”
“Strip club, okay?” I asked, dimming the house lights before the first audience members started streaming in.
“A strip club?” Sebastian said on the other end of the line. “Are you talking about Red again? What’s Kathrin going to think if she finds out?”
“Your fiancée doesn’t need to know,” Jacob chimed in, shrugging.
I smirked.
No, Dominic, you’re not getting away that easily.
The audience loved Signalman Thiel, showering the actors with thunderous applause. For me, though, the show wasn’t anything special. The exciting part was when a play was being developed. But once the lighting design was set and the program was written, the computer did most of the work.
Around midnight, Sebastian, Jacob, and I left the theater and strolled through the streets of Zurich.
“Does Dominic know we’re coming?” Sebastian asked, lighting a cigarette.
I peered at both of them, surprised. God! Even Jacob was grinning knowingly.
“You’re not exactly someone who handles these things discreetly,” Jacob said. “Besides, I was at the bachelor party. I saw you hitting on the guy.”
“I didn’t …” I started, cracking my fingers. “I’m very discreet.”
“We’ve had lunch together twice this week,” Jacob said.
“You eat together?” I asked, puzzled. “How did that happen?”
“It just worked out,” answered the red-haired carpenter. “The weather was nice, and we were all out on the terrace. He was there with Eliah and Vanja.”
“And what’s he been saying?”
“Not much. He’s more of a quiet type.”
“Totally,” Sebastian confirmed, exhaling smoke into the cool night air. “I’ve never met such a composed actor. I’m not surprised he works in a strip club. The quiet ones usually have a lot more going on underneath.”
“The way you’re saying it, it sounds like he’s dancing on the pole,” I teased.
“I’m sure he could,” Jacob said. “He’s such a good actor. I bet he could easily play a stripper.”
While the two of them continued to joke about the actors and praise the troupe, my thoughts drifted back to the control room, where Dominic had given me a blowjob yesterday.
Fuck, I could hardly believe it myself.
Something had taken over him. A ghost, maybe. Or a demon. But the guy who’d knelt in front of me wasn’t Dominic.
Not at all!
When I tried to reciprocate, that was Dominic.
The sorrow in his eyes nearly broke my heart, but I was sure he didn’t notice as he’d hurried past me, panicking, and fled the control room.
And I blamed myself for not comforting him, for not holding him.
It was high time we had a man-to-man conversation. There was no way he could almost cry after giving me an amazing blowjob.
I needed to know what was going on.
While I didn’t assume I was the cause of his sudden emotional shift, if that was the case, I at least had the right to know what the problem was.
When we arrived at Red, only Vasily was at the entrance. He checked our IDs and waved us through.
“Isn’t Dominic working tonight?” I asked straightforwardly.
The brown-haired giant squinted at me and then examined us more carefully. “I know you,” he said, eyeing Sebastian and Jacob. “The bachelor party from two weeks ago.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I replied with a shrug. “Dominic. We’re his coworkers. Is he here?”
“He’s downstairs. Should be back soon.”
So we went in, sat at a lounge table in the corner, and ordered drinks from the stunning waitress. While Jacob and Sebastian went for gin and tonics, I stuck with beer and made sure to sit where I could keep an eye on the entrance.
In front of us, a woman with long blonde hair was dancing on the pole, twisting and bending in ways you’d expect to see in a circus. She was good, but she couldn’t hold my attention once I saw Dominic. In blue jeans and a black jacket, he strolled past the smoking area toward the exit.
I immediately got up from my seat, told my friends I’d be right back, and followed Dominic outside.
He was standing in the covered entrance, laughing at something Vasily had said. Without hesitation, I grabbed his upper arm and dragged him outside with me.
“Sorry, Vasily, but you’ll have to do without him for a minute.”
“Hey!” Dominic shouted, trying to pull away from my grip.
No chance!
Vasily grinned as I nudged Dominic around the corner and glanced back. In the adjacent alley, I shoved him against the wall. He pushed me off and freed himself from my hold.
“What’s this about? I’m working!”
Anger boiled up inside me, and I grabbed him by the shoulders, pressing him back against the wall. “No! You owe me an explanation.”
Dominic’s expression changed, and his eyes widened in shock. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t test my patience,” I growled. “What was that all about? I kiss you, and you almost break down in tears?”
“That …” His defiance returned. “That’s none of your business,” he said, straightening his shoulders. “Now let me go.”
“I wanted to return the favor! Why didn’t you let me?”
“Are you crazy?”
Those two words could make my fuse blow, and I did my best to swallow my anger and breathe deeply. “Fine! If that’s how you want it, I’ll return the favor right here. Right now,” I said, starting to undo his belt.
“What? No!”
“I don’t like owing anyone.”
“Stop it!”
“As soon as I’ve given you one, babe.”
“Kil!”
“Oh yeah, I love it when you call my name.”
“No! Please!”
He gripped my wrists with both hands and tried to stop me from undoing his belt. He was almost panicking, but he had wanted this.
“Stop! Please!”
“And I love it when you beg,” I said, unclasping his buckle.
Out of nowhere, a fist struck my face, and my head snapped back. I stumbled back a couple of steps, disoriented, as a burning sensation spread across my face and up to the back of my head.
“Shit!” I cursed, bending forward and feeling my nose. “What the hell was that?”
Dominic had already fastened his belt again. He stood there, breathing heavily, staring at me with wide eyes. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Don’t ever say I’m crazy again,” I growled, inspecting my fingers.
No blood.
Dominic grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“What? Sorry that you just hit me? Or that you gave me a blowjob? Or that every time I kiss you, you look like you’re about to cry?”
“I don’t want to …”
“Too late!” I interrupted. “Because I want to talk about it.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean? Why am I here? Why didn’t I hit you back? Or why did I drag you along after the exhibit last Friday?”
“Because you didn’t want to be the fifth wheel,” he replied, reminding me of my own words.
“Exactly! Who would want that? I could’ve dragged anyone along! But if you hadn’t come, I would’ve gone home.”
For a while, Dominic just stared at me, frozen. Then he shook his head.
“It’s pointless,” he whispered, staring down at the ground.
“Oh, no!” I disagreed. “And you know why? Because you liked it. Because you like kissing me. Maybe you like kissing Horatio too, I don’t know, but you like kissing me. And I like kissing you.”
“It doesn’t feel the same when I kiss Horatio,” Dominic said quietly, still not looking at me. A strand of hair had come loose from his style and fell over his face. “I feel nothing with Horatio. But with you … when you touch me, you fill an emptiness inside me.”
I froze. I hadn’t expected that. “Well, if that’s the case, why are you always so depressed afterward?”
“Forget it,” Dominic said, trying to move past me.
But I wouldn’t let him. I grasped both of his shoulders again and pressed him back against the wall. “No. Tell me!”
Dominic squirmed in my grip and did everything he could to avoid my gaze. So, I took more direct action and kissed him. It was a rough, demanding kiss. With my tongue, I showed him I was the one in control. When a soft sigh escaped him, I pulled away.
“See? You can’t deny it.”
“I’m not denying it, but …”
“What? What is it? A micropenis? Or do you have a vagina? Are you secretly a woman? Or … I don’t know? Do you have a thing for bunnies or cows? I can handle it as long as I get to kiss you once in a while.”
Dominic didn’t even manage to force a smile. “I …”
I waited patiently, which was not exactly my strong suit.
“I … can’t.”
I rolled my eyes in frustration. “What does that even mean? That means nothing.”
“No … I can’t. I mean …”
I winced.
“I can’t get it up,” he snapped. “So? Are you happy now?”
“What? Who cares about that! You’re still young! You’ll figure it out!”
“You don’t understand.”
“Why not? You think I always get it up? Besides, I’ve seen you. You were turned on. You had fun giving me a blowjob.”
Dominic broke free from my grip and took a few steps back. Stunned, he raked his fingers through his disheveled hair. He turned to me, anger flickering in his eyes. “Why are you like this?”
“I don’t understand,” I stammered. “What do you mean?”
“Like this! Every day, I try not to let it get to me and fight against the feeling of being a total failure. I don’t always manage to be confident!
But then you come along and act like it’s no big deal!
It is a big deal! It’s holding me back and making my life hard!
It makes me feel like only half a man! And you … ”
“Would you rather I hug you? Tell you everything will be okay and all that crap?” I asked, my tone serious.
“No! God forbid!”
“Well then! Because from where I’m standing, you like being dominated. And in my opinion, that’s exactly where we should start.”
“You’re impossible.” A gentle smile tugged at his lips, but he quickly wiped it away with his hand.
“So, no micropenis?” I teased.
Dominic rolled his eyes, then turned serious. “Can I trust you with this?”
“Why would I spread it around? In the end, people would say it’s my fault.”
“Okay … uh … I need to go back inside.”
As he tried to walk past me, I gripped his arm again and spun him around to face me. “You really think I’m letting you head back into the tit bar without one more proper kiss? Come here, babe.”
To my surprise, Dominic pressed his lips to mine and thrust his tongue into my mouth. This time, I was the one who let out a soft moan, and before my knees gave out, I draped my arms around Dominic’s neck and held on to him.
Damn, that guy was hot.
Unexpectedly, he moved away from me and straightened his jacket. “Now go home.”
“No! I like the lights here. And when you’re done, I’ll walk you home.”
“I won’t be out of here before four.”
“I’m a night owl—just like you,” I said with a shrug.
I had no idea why I said that, especially since I’d been awake since 8 a.m. But seeing Dominic smirk and shake his head as he left me standing there was worth it.
While I felt pure happiness swelling inside me, I followed him back into the tit bar, and while he took his place next to Vasily, I winked at both of them before disappearing into the club.