Chapter 53
53
RONAN
T he obnoxious lights and sounds of the North Node Tavern buzz all around me, making my whiskey-soaked brain thrum painfully. Shifting on my barstool, I stare into the bottom of my glass, willing my tired eyelids not to slide shut.
Because every time I close my eyes, I see it again.
The nightmarish memory of Nicky in the arms of that loser at her grandmother’s bakery the other day.
Hugging him.
Laughing with him.
Moving on with him .
She’s already forgotten me. I’m nothing but a distant memory to her. Shit—I really was nothing but a placeholder to her. Just practice so she could score the guy she really wants.
And I can only be mad at myself. That was our arrangement after all. I told her she could practice with me so that, in due time, she’d feel confident to go after the relationship of her dreams.
Well it backfired like a motherfucker for me .
Because after building up my courage, I showed up at Nicky’s new office, holding a huge bouquet of flowers and asking around the building for her. When Florence told me where she had gone for lunch, I booked my ass to Honey Hill and stupidly walked into her grandma’s bakery.
I was finally ready to tell Nicky how I really feel about her, but much to my surprise—and goddamned misery—all I accomplished was seeing my Peach draped all over her ex.
I could have gone a hundred more lifetimes without seeing that.
In all the scenarios I envisioned, where Nicky moves on without me, her going back to Simon was not something I ever seriously considered. Yes, it had been a fleeting thought here and there, but I was sure that she finally realized she deserves better.
I figured she’d buy her own place. I figured she’d be her badass independent self. But I foolishly believed that she was done with that tool.
Come on—he dumped her! On her freaking birthday.After hiding her from the world for months. Meanwhile, here I am, ready to shout her name from every rooftop in town. And she doesn’t want me.
I’m the one who makes Nicky’s morning coffee and listens to her favorite motivational tapes with her as we drive.
I’m the one who takes her to farmers markets and surprises her with gifts and desserts and pretty dresses.
I’m the one who rescues her in winter blizzards and catches her when she slips on the ice.
I’m the one who slow dances with her on Valentine’s Day.
I’m the one who spends snow days ice skating with her and feeding her marshmallows in front of the fire.
I’m the one who became a better person just to be good enough for her.
I’m the one who loves her.
But still, after all that, Nicky goes back to him.
Fuuuuck .
With nothing better to do tonight, I find myself at Nolan’s bar. Mostly because I knew my siblings would drag me out here eventually if I continued to wallow indefinitely in this pity party at home.
But now I’m just throwing my pity party in public.
Super.
Across the room, my brothers are playing darts, working on my last nerve and having a good old time. As for Karli, she’s in her own world, dancing wildly with Daphne and Layla.
I don’t feel like throwing darts. I don’t feel like dancing. I don’t feel like eating. And I definitely don’t feel like making conversation with the random women who keep coming up and trying to flirt with me. I ignore them just like I’m ignoring everyone else today.
I pull my baseball cap low over my eyes and I mope. Because now that Nicky has up and moved on with her life, I’m nothing but a grumpy fuck.
Even I don’t want to hang out with my miserable self.
That doesn’t stop Darius from trying, though. He comes up to me, flipping the front of my hat. I glare at him and adjust the cap I’m wearing tonight.
“Wow. You’re really bummed about the Saints not making it to the finals, aren’t you?” He lowers into the seat beside me. “It’s okay, brother. There’s always next year. And with how great the team press has been, that’ll make the off season trades even smoother. We’ll get a few more solid players around you, and you’ll be back better than ever next year,” he shares excitedly, clapping me on the back.
I grunt. Of course that’s where his mind goes.
“It’s not hockey that I’m bummed about,” I grumble.
Darius’ brows pinch together. “Are you sick? Do you have a fever?” He immediately touches the back of his hand to my forehead.
I push him off, annoyed. We already have three doctors in our family. Three. Our dad, Felix and Mason. See? None of them are named Darius.
“Quit touching me. I’m not sick. I’m in love, you knucklehead.”
Darius lets out an obnoxious gasp. “In love?”
“Yes. In love. Are you deaf?”
He turns toward my twin, who is carrying some drinks to a customer’s table. “Holy shit. Nolan! Nolan! Ronan is in love!”
Nolan’s feet slow. “Oh…uh…okay…”
Darius must not be happy with Nolan’s reaction, because his arms shoot out, shaking Nolan as he starts to panic. “Fix it! Fix your twin!”
The alcohol on Nolan’s tray splashes all around.
I drop my face into my palm.
Oh my God. Who are these idiots I’m related to?
Nolan shrugs. “I’m divorced. I don’t know shit about love.” His hand claps my shoulder. “I already knew. But sorry I can’t help.” Then he goes to drop off his drinks.
Darius spins around, looking for someone to come ‘fix’ me. He turns to Archer, who is throwing a dart at the board, flinging it just like he does when we’re ax throwing. “Archer. Come here. Help him, for crying out loud.”
Archer shrugs. “Me? What do I know about love? I’m in an intimate relationship with my left fist, and I’m fooling around with my right hand on Thursdays.”
Darius turns to Mason next, and I’m starting to really feel like a loser. Mason’s digging into a plate of nachos at the other end of the bar, only half-listening to our conversation. He holds up a hand. “Don’t ask me. Nicky’s my cousin. Conflict of interest.”
Shit . Apparently everyone aside from Darius already knows exactly who’s got me torn in two. Nolan walks back by with his empty drink tray. “Let Felix fix it. He’s the one in a real relationship, walking around like a happy go lucky fool.”
Felix steps forward from wherever he was hiding, with Daphne now hanging off of his side.
“Told you he’d be next,” Daphne grins as Karli and Layla come over and join our little huddle. “I win the bet.”
“What bet?” Karli asks suspiciously.
Daphne shrugs proudly. “I bet Felix five dollars that Ronan would be the next Brighton to fall in love. I was right.”
Grumbling, Felix whips out his wallet and slaps a crinkled bill into his fiancée’s waiting palm. She pinches his cheek, gloating shamelessly at my misfortune.
Darius is getting more and more impatient now. “Can we get back to the emergency at hand please?”
Felix grins proudly, dusts off his hands, and grabs my shoulder, nearly pushing me off my barstool. “Okay. Here’s the plan, baby brother…Here’s what you’re going to do.”