Chapter 13
Proctor
I got up and grabbed grits and pancake mix from the pantry, along with eggs, bacon, sausage, and cheese slices from the refrigerator.
I went into the kitchen and started getting down the way my grandma used to back when I lived with her in Houston.
Most mornings, I got up early and left without eating, but today I had a burst of energy from the night before.
I cooked, cleaned up after myself, and had everything ready before Ari woke up and stepped out of the room.
“It smells so good in here. Are you cooking, sir?”
“Of course. I never mind making myself a little breakfast if I'm hungry.”
“Oh, wow.”
She walked over and peeked into each pot sitting on the stove.
“Damn, these grits look good.”
“Not as good as your ass though.” He sucked his teeth.
“If only I could get them so thick.”
I winked, and she smiled.
I looked at her from her toes to the top of her head. Even this early in the morning, Ari was perfect. She had that natural beauty you can’t replicate. No surgeon on earth could make the ass she has with those perfect dimples placed in just the right places.
“If you go out on the patio. I’ll bring your plate out in a minute, baby girl.”
“Ouu, breakfast on the patio sounds so romantic. Thank you, Proc.”
“Don’t thank me, baby. It’s what I’m supposed to do.”
She reached to pinch my cheek before she walked out of the patio door.
I plated the food and set everything on a board that one of the chefs I’d hired had left behind. Then, I poured us glasses of orange juice and a pitcher of water, just in case the juice didn’t quench our thirst.
I walked outside, set the board with the food down, and Ari never looked so happy. The view from my penthouse was beautiful as hell, but the mountains in the background couldn’t compete with her.
“I didn’t even know I was hungry until you brought this out here.”
“Well, dig in, baby.”
“I don’t mind if I do.” She replied, grabbing one of the plates from the board.
Ari tore into the food, impressed, and so was I.
I knew Ari was full once she set her fork down and rested her elbow on the table, having to physically hold her head up.
“You good, baby?”
“Yes, way past good. This was great, Proc, but now that we’ve eaten, are you going to take me back to see Cyn so I can check on her?”
“Cyn is fine. Trust me. My son wouldn’t let a mosquito bite her in the middle of the fuckin jungle.”
“I know that’s right. I wish I had that kind of protection.”
“And you do, now. I don’t give a fuck who I have to hurt to protect you.”
“Trust, I know that about you by now, but my question is, can you dial it down at times? Will you always be in protection and paranoia mode with me?”
“Not when I don’t have to be. Look at me now, for instance.
Out here eating breakfast on the patio like a simp ass nigga, and I haven’t even checked my phone to handle business yet.
I got straight up and cooked for you because I understand I have to make sure you straight first. Especially after you had my toes curled like bangs last night. ”
She burst out laughing.
“Well, that must explain why I haven’t checked my phone much either. I just texted my aunt like two minutes ago to check on my baby, and she said everything was good.”
“Our baby.” I corrected her, and she smiled.
“I can’t wait to meet her little pretty self.”
“I must warn you, she’s already a handful.”
“So are my other kids, and they are not as cute as she is. Handsome, beautiful, but not like little mama.”
I took a napkin up to my mouth.
“Now, is it okay for me to grab my phone and handle a little business?”
I asked Ari.
“Of course it’s okay. Do you. I’m just enjoying the view while I can. Ari pinched my cheek, making a nigga feel like a little fuckin boy in that moment.
When I went inside and grabbed my phone, I saw five missed calls and a few text messages. When I saw the message from Tania, I opened it immediately because the word police was at the beginning.
Hey, the police just questioned me. Call me Asap.
After reading it, I muttered a silent “fuck.” and peeked around the corner to make sure Ari wasn’t coming. I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, turning on the sink water to drown out the conversation.
“Hello, about time you called,” Tania answered the phone on the second ring.
“I've been busy. You said the police came to you?”
“Yeah, asking me about being with you, and I told them what I thought I should, but I’m fucking scared.”
“Don’t be scared. You have nothing to be scared of as long as you keep your mouth shut about the truth. Where are you at now?”
“At Hawk and Cyn’s place, of course. I don’t leave for D.C. for another two days.”
“Oh, well, in the meantime, if they reach back out, don’t talk to them anymore.”
“Hawk already told me that. Are you with Ari?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing, just wondering where my friend was, but okay, I’ll be here.”
She hung up.
I took advantage of the sink being on and splashed water on my face. This wasn’t the time to panic, and I knew how cops loved to make two plus two equal five, but I wasn’t letting them get to me.
When I went back outside, I saw Ari taking a photo of the view from the patio. I could tell she was at peace right now, and I never want to take that feeling from her, no matter what I am going through. Peace looks so damn good on her.
“Hey, you back already? Everything must be good with the business?” she smiled.
“Yeah, it is. I need to visit my son sometime today to go over some shit. We can head over there together in a minute.”
Ari had a hesitant, scared look on her face.
“What’s that expression for?”
“I guess, I’m just not ready to face the music, or the people that might judge me for sleeping over here tonight.”
“What does it matter what people think? I know you're not embarrassed of a nigga?”
“Of course not, Proctor. It’s just things going on with me internally, but it has nothing to do with you.”
“Well, I am here to help you get over it. You have to stop letting other people dictate what you do with your life because of what they might say. Let people talk. People who talked about me my whole life don’t have half as much as I do, so what does that tell you?”
“Maybe you are right.” She looked off in the distance before looking back at me.
“Proctor, I really like you and enjoy being around you. I only want peace in my life from here on out and people around who mean me well.”
“I mean nothing but, and that’s from the bottom of my heart.”
I replied.
Ari and I got up from the table and walked toward the bedroom, when Ari’s phone rang, and she smacked her lips.
“Somebody bothering you?”
“Yes, but someone, irrelevant. I’m not answering.”
“Who is it, though?”
“Josiah’s sister, Roshelle, with whom he was close with.
She’s probably calling to talk shit about you getting off.
I've been surprised that I haven’t heard from any of them yet.
It’s a whole slew of them that talk shit to me.
Some are Josiah’s actual siblings, and then not to mention that his mom adopted and fostered many kids, so they're giving me hell. The ones I know at least.”
“If they were so close, then why wasn’t she at the trial with the rest of his clan?” I asked.
“Because she has like five kids, so coming out here for the trial was probably hard. I’m just ignoring her. She can talk shit to my voicemail, and later I’ll decide whether to respond. I’m trying to stay at peace today.”
“Good. I would hate to have to fly to D.C. just to strangle a bitch.”
She forwarded the call.
I walked into the closet to get dressed, and Ari went into the bathroom to freshen up.
I grabbed a black short-sleeve button-up shirt, a pair of black pants, and a pair of shoes.
I got dressed and sat on the bed, putting on my clothes, when I heard something hit the floor, like a body thudding to the ground.
I got up and walked into the restroom, where I saw Ari on the ground crying so hard that there was no noise coming from her mouth.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She looked up at me, eyes wide and broken.
“What did y’all do, Proctor?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“They’re dead. They’re all dead. What did you do to them?”
“Who?”
“Josiah’s mama and his three brothers were murdered. She just texted me and said I let a man murder everyone she had. Did you really kill them, Proctor!”
I bent down to be closer to her face.
“Ari, you need to calm the fuck down.”
“Why would you do that? You’re sitting up here trying to act like you want a family, like you want to be in my daughter’s life, but you’d do something like that? Either you or your son. What kind of people are you?”
I started to lie to her. I started to deny it.
But the truth was, if she wanted to be with me, she had to know the real me.
And for some reason, I felt like I could tell Ari the truth and it would be received better than a lie.
I really liked this woman, and if she can’t accept the truth from me, then how far could we make it?
“Listen, sweetheart. You have to think about it like this. Don’t you love our daughter?”
“Of course, I love her, Proctor. What kind of question is that?”
“A good one. So what would you do if someone happened to hurt your daughter? Tried to harm her in any way? Pulled out a gun and shot her in her chest and left her fighting for her life because they were mad at you for some shit you didn’t do.”
“What do you mean, I would fucking kill some,”
She stopped herself, realizing what she was about to say.
“Exactly. Ari, you are a good girl who hasn’t seen half of what I have in my life. So if you would kill someone for your child, just imagine what a nigga like me would do about mine.”
She didn’t have a response; she just stared at me in disbelief, and I could see the realization really covering her face.
“Proctor, this is a lot okay. This is a whole lot to deal with, and I feel like I can’t breathe right now.”
I held my hand up to her chest.
“It feels like your heart is beating just fine, baby, so calm down and listen to me. Alright?”
I wiped the tears from her face with the back of my hand.
“Look, we haven’t even taken the test for our daughter, and there might be a slim chance that she’s not mine, but let’s just say that she isn’t.
You really wanted to deal with those people for the rest of your life?
You really wanted to deal with the circus and the pressure of letting our daughter see them.
The judgment they would give you for keeping their dead family member's baby away, or even for being with me? They did nothing but harass you from what you just told me, and that is no way to live. That shit was never going to stop, and it was never going to end well.”
She shook her head.
“But did you really have to?”
I put my finger over her lips to stop her words.
“It’s over, Ari. That chapter of your life is closed, and you get to truly move on and be fuckin happy. You didn’t lose anyone who gave a fuck about you. Think of it this way. Would they drop to their knees and cry if it were you who was dead?”
She shook her head slowly, still staring at me.
I didn’t know if she was in shock, pissed that I was keeping it real, or hurt because I kept it real.
She just shook her head while I stood over her for a while, and I was being patient with her.
Letting her work through her feelings, because I know not everyone is as ruthless as me.
Not everyone can be so desensitized to death.
“Proctor, I pray like hell this doesn’t come back and affect me in any way.”
“It won’t come back on you. Trust me. Because it won’t come back on me either.”
She swallowed hard.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You do know. The problem is you don’t want to accept the relief you are about to feel.
I leaned closer.
“I’m not going to say I’m some perfect gentleman. I know who I’ve been. I know my past. But I fuck with you, and I want to keep fucking with you. Especially if we got a kid together.”
She stayed quiet.
“So don’t text that bitch back. And if you do, send condolences and move the fuck on because you don’t know what happened.”
She nodded slowly, surprisingly without a rebuttal.
I helped her off the ground and pulled her in towards me, holding her tight. I’m sure physical touch meant more to her right now than words ever could.
“Now, get yourself together, however long it takes, and finish getting dressed. Then we are going over to the airport, getting on a flight to D.C., and I am going to finally meet my baby girl.”
“You serious?”
“Of course, I am. It’s been too long already anyway. I’m about to book us a redeye, and hopefully we can get there before nightfall. I want to take her to Chucky Cheese or some shit.”
She still had tears drying up on her face, but a smile crept through.
“Okay, that’s fine. I miss her anyway.”
“Yeah, and you’ve met her before. Just imagine how much I do. Now let’s go in my room and make another one before I meet the first one if you are up to it.”
“Proctor no!” Ari started laughing but I would dead ass considerer it when she does.
Ari is my lady and I’m ready to build with her. My goal is to man up again, but this time in a different way than how I did years ago.
With Ari and Treasure, I'm going to do it right and not shit is stopping that.