Chapter 5
FIVE
STEVEN
It had been a week since Steven had hit the beach with his family. This Sunday was a very different affair. Once again, the weather remained glorious. Steven was out on the patio potting the huge number of plants he’d bought at the garden centre.
His vast outside space wrapped around the house. Of course, he had a gardener who kept on top of most of it. Yet, he loved to do the pots. It reminded him of being with his father as a child. They would spend ages choosing the right colours for their small garden.
The rule had always been that inside the house was his mother’s domain and outside was his father’s.
After he had died, Steven had tried to manage it.
Unfortunately, he’d been at the peak of his playing career and home visits were rare.
Andrew had been living with him in Spain so the garden fell into disarray.
He’d offered to pay someone but his mother didn’t want strangers around.
As soon as he bought his own place in Brockton, he’d vowed to recreate the vibrant bursts of colour that he’d done with his dad. He’d been gone over ten years. It helped Steven to feel close to him.
Whenever anything weighed heavy on his mind, he would sit amongst the blooms with a coffee and think about how he would talk things through with his father.
He sat back on his heels and wiped the sweat from his brow. His mind was on other things today and the meditative effects of gardening weren’t helping.
Udo Holtmann filled his thoughts. Steven had known of him long before he came to Brockton. It was Steven’s job to know every player in the Premier League and how they might attack his team. Udo had battered his way through Brockton’s defence on more than one occasion over the years.
When he’d been studying Udo, he’d been fully aware of how gorgeous he was. Handsome footballers weren’t exactly a rare thing in Steven’s life. Most of them spent their days driving fast cars, golfing or chasing women. Three things that had never interested Steven.
He gazed up at the sky. A few clouds were forming. He would have to hurry if he had any chance of getting all the plants in before an April shower.
Steven resumed his work. His mind still fell to Udo. He had something different about him. The unique blend of fragility and strength was remarkable.
After Steven had finished, he jumped in the shower. It was only lunchtime. He loved an empty Sunday. He planned on watching a movie before cooking dinner.
His phone rang. Steven wandered into the lounge and picked it up from its charging station. Instantly he tensed. It was Udo.
“Udo?” he said, after pressing Answer. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I…well…I wondered if you’d like to go for a walk.”
Steven heard Javier’s voice in his head telling him this was a bad idea.
“It’s about to rain here.”
“I checked the weather,” Udo replied. “It’s only a passing shower. It’ll be gone in an hour.”
“Then I’d love to,” he replied. “Where shall we go?”
“You’re the expert,” Udo said. “I’ll leave that to you. Text me the location.”
“Fine. See you in an hour then.”
Steven ended the call. He wandered over to the French doors. He stared up at the clouds.
“No offence but fuck off. This is an emergency situation.”
An hour later and Steven was still staring at the sky as he pulled off the main road. Sure enough the clouds had cleared. It was still overcast although the sun made concerted efforts to break through.
Cliff Stone Reservoir was a beautiful patch of water up on the moors. The fact that it was man-made added to the allure. It had served the local area with drinking water for decades.
Udo waited for him in the car park. He looked stunning in a black leather jacket, white T-shirt and jeans.
A modern-day blond Brando.
Steven had made the effort too in black tailored shorts and a salmon-pink linen shirt.
There were quite a few cars there. Lots of families would come for picnics or to swim.
Steven hopped out of his Mercedes SUV and walked over. Udo leant against his sparkling white BMW Z4. For someone who didn’t always like attention, he’d chosen a standout set of wheels.
“Good afternoon,” Udo said. “I hope you didn’t mind my calling.”
“Of course not. I wasn’t doing much.”
They set off across the car park. The reservoir had a footpath which snaked around the large patch of water.
Steven noticed that Udo walked with his head up. Perhaps Steven’s advice for play had spilled into Udo’s personal life. Either way, Steven was proud of him.
“Have you come down from yesterday’s goal?” Steven asked.
“I don’t know what was more incredible,” Udo replied. “The goal or Shaun’s handshake.”
They were on the path proper now. Some cattle grazed near the water’s edge. They didn’t seem at all perturbed by human company.
“Shaun is all right, you know,” Steven said. “He’s had his own problems, that’s for sure.”
“Really? I wonder why he takes them out on me?”
That was quite the question and one that Steven had every intention of getting to the bottom of. Shaun had always been fiery, but this instant dislike of Udo was out of character.
They walked in silence for a short while.
“It sounded like you were going to tell me something the other day,” Steven said. “If it’s affecting your play, then I’d be grateful if you’d try again.”
Udo sighed. “There isn’t anything worth mentioning.”
That meant there was something. Steven could hardly hold him down until he came out with it. He respected Udo and his privacy.
“That’s up to you. Please remember that I’m always happy to listen.”
“You are very kind,” Udo replied. “It’s getting hot again.”
He took his jacket off and threw it over his shoulder.
The temperature had risen. Steven suspected being with Udo had a lot to do with it. He always seemed to get hot under the collar in the handsome midfielder’s presence these days.
“Summer’s coming,” Steven said. “Do you have any plans?”
“I’ll probably go home for a while and see my mother. How about you?”
Steven had been so focused on the season that he’d barely given any thought to the summer break.
“I usually rent a place somewhere and take the family,” he explained. “We’ve done that since my playing days. I’m thinking the South of France this year.”
“A beautiful part of the world.”
Whoops and hollers sounded out in the small valley that the reservoir sat in. They both stared. Across the small bay, people were swimming and splashing one another.
“Are you brave enough?” Udo asked.
“For what?”
“A swim, of course.”
Steven frowned. “I haven’t got my swimmers.”
Udo laughed. “Don’t be so shy. Are you wearing underwear?”
“You think that’s a good idea?”
“There’s no one near us. Besides, what are we doing wrong?”
Since the advent of camera phones, everyone was a paparazzo.
Steven glanced around. They were clear for the most part.
They would have to leave the path behind to get to the water’s edge, which protected them from other walkers.
To be fair, they wouldn’t be doing anything the family across the way weren’t doing.
“Fine,” he said. “If we end up on social media, we’ll say it’s a new form of training.”
Udo jogged down to the shoreline. Steven followed him. The bank was unstable and he almost fell in. Udo grabbed him and steadied him.
“Maybe wait until you’ve taken your shorts off,” Udo said. “It’s quite a way to the car park. Soggy clothes are never comfortable.”
Steven grinned.
They stripped off down to their underwear. Steven counted his blessings that he had a decent pair of Calvin Kleins on. Of course, he had seen Udo in a state of undress many times after training and games. It seemed different now.
Udo’s body was incredible. He stood staring out to the water in a pair of bright pink Paul Smith boxer briefs. Steven had tried to retain his physique with regular trips to the gym. Yet with the absence of a full-on training regime, he had gone a little soft in places.
Steven found Udo’s golden skin so inviting. Such a contrast to Steven’s dark brown.
His chest was lightly dusted with the blond hair from his head. Steven longed to run his fingers along every inch of him.
He noticed Udo openly staring at him.
“I might not have your six-pack,” Steven said. “I can outswim you though.”
“Fighting talk.”
They both waded into the reservoir.
Shit. It’s freezing.
Every instinct told Steven to get out. But he wouldn’t lose face in front of Udo, who didn’t seem to be at all bothered.
When they were chest-deep, Udo plunged himself under the water and came up panting.
“That feels so good,” he said.
Steven shrugged and did the same. When he came to the surface, he gasped for air.
“It’s fucking cold.”
“Let your body get used to it,” Udo replied. “My mother used to take me to a lake near our house. It’s great for your circulation.”
Steven had heard all about the benefits of wild swimming. He’d never tested them out. His body soon became accustomed to the temperature.
He swam over to Udo. Udo’s skin glowed as he trod water.
“What are Shaun’s problems?” Udo asked. “If I understand him, I’ll be able to handle him.”
Steven stared up at the sun. He might be a convert to this wild swimming lark. He felt more awake than he’d done in years.
“As you know, you replaced Jimmy Fryer,” Steven continued. “Well he and Shaun were good mates. I guess he’s taking it out on you.”
“Taking what out?”
“Jimmy failed a drug test,” Steven explained. “We agreed to keep it quiet if he went.”
“So that’s why he retired out of nowhere?”
Steven nodded. It hadn’t been a nice period for anyone on the team. It had happened a few weeks before Christmas. Of course, Shaun had leapt to Jimmy’s defence. It had been a futile gesture.
“That’s right. The official story is that he wanted to focus on his family. Howard did a great job keeping everything within the club.”
Howard Clooney was the Head of Communications at Brockton FC. An excitable Texan, he controlled the press fairly well. He was also openly gay. Something that Steven envied.
“I’ve only met Howard once,” Udo said.
“Pray you don’t need to,” Steven replied. “Because that means the media are leaving you alone. He’s a good man to have on your team if they aren’t.”
Udo swam closer to Steven.
“Is he gay?”
“He is. Is that a problem?”
Udo burst out laughing. “Of course it isn’t.”
“Good. He got some grief when he first came.”
“Don’t tell me. Shaun and Jimmy.”
“Got it in one. They soon changed their tune when he saved Jimmy’s reputation.”
They were close now. The sun making the water sparkle.
“We should go in,” Steven said. “It can’t be good for you to be in this for too long.”
Udo nodded. They waded out of the water.
“Let’s dry off in the sun for a while,” Udo said, perching on a rock.
Steven took the one next to him and they stared out at the water. The trials and tribulations of a topflight soccer team seemed a long way away.
“I’m gay,” Udo said.
Steven thought his heart had stopped beating for a second.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
The time had come for Steven to grasp the nettle. He stared up at Udo.
“So am I.”
Udo didn’t say anything for a second as he seemingly took the news in.
“I did wonder,” he said, eventually.
“Why?”
“Never had a girlfriend or wife. In most interviews you say you’re too busy. The stock answer that I use. Let’s face it, most footballers will find the time no matter what. It’s a weak excuse from both of us.”
An excuse that had run out of steam for Steven.
“It’s an open secret,” Steven said. “Javier knows and so do my family. I’m not telling the lads yet. Maybe one day.”
Udo nodded. “My mother knows and my agent.”
His face grew sad when he mentioned his agent. Steven wondered if that might be the root of his problems. He’d only recently signed with Rob Baron. Steven knew him from old and Rob had always come across as a decent guy. He doubted Rob would give Udo grief for his sexuality.
“I presume you’ve been told to keep it quiet.”
“Until I retire,” Udo replied. “Too much cash at stake.”
It was shit. A whole industry surrounding them, forcing them to live their lives in a certain way. And for what? Money and success. What did it all mean without honesty?
“I won’t tell anyone,” Steven said. “Not even Javier.”
“Thank you. Things are bad enough as it is. Imagine if Shaun got hold of that information.”
Steven remembered some of the things that Shaun had said about Howard over the years.
He might be a damned fine player and, on some levels, a decent guy.
Yet he remained a caveman in a lot of other respects.
It absolutely would not be a good idea for him to find out about this.
Not until Udo had solidified his place in the team.
“You leave Shaun Riggs to me,” Steven said. “The best thing you can do is get to know some of the others.”
Udo nodded. “I appreciate your help.”
“It’s all part of my job.”
“Is it?”
What did he mean by that?
“Of course. We should probably be getting back. It’s only April. If you catch a cold, Javier will be after my balls.”
Udo hopped off the rock and instantly cried out.
“What’s the matter?”
“Something stabbed me.”
“Here, let me.” Udo sat on the rock and held his leg up. Steven took hold of it and examined one of the most expensive feet in Lancashire. A thorn stuck out of Udo’s big toe. “Javier will kill me if that gets embedded,” he muttered.
Swiftly, Steven pulled it out.
“There,” he said. “All’s well again.”
He still held Udo’s foot as he stared up at him. What a view. Thick strong legs, a six-pack that any member of a boy band would kill for and the bulge in those pink undies.
Reluctantly, he laid Udo’s foot on the ground and stood. Any more of this and his own boxer shorts would have the impossible mission of hiding his arousal.
Udo stood.
“Thank you. Is there nothing that the assistant coach won’t do for us?”
“Not much.”
Once again, they stood close to each other.
“All in a day’s work then?”
“Something like that.”
Udo’s head blocked the sun so Steven saw directly into his eyes.
Suddenly, all the self-control that Steven prided himself on appeared to have disappeared. He cleared the distance between them and kissed Udo.