Chapter 25 Kieran
Kieran
I sat in the tiny courtyard outside the villa eating a buttery flaky pastry that I’d never allow to pass my lips during the season.
It was too early to be awake, but I couldn’t keep trying to fall back to sleep.
Joanie had run away and locked herself in the bathroom after what had happened on the balcony.
In general, running away after sex wasn’t a good sign.
I pushed the plate with the pastry away across the table. I had no appetite at the thought that I’d somehow messed this thing up with Joanie before it had even begun.
“Hi.”
I turned to see Joanie standing in the doorway, looking sweet and wholesome in pink striped pajamas. Her hair fell wild and tousled from sleep.
“Hi,” I said. I pulled out the wooden chair next to me. “How did you sleep?”
She dropped into the chair next to me. “Good, thanks.” She gazed up at the muted mauve and vibrant pink streaks in the sky. “Wow. These colors.”
We needed to talk about last night, but I wouldn’t rush her. I’d let her bring it up. I pushed a pastry across the table toward her.
“Menorca is famous for its sunrises. It’s the first part of Spain that the sun touches each morning,” I said.
She raised an eyebrow and smiled. Her voice was teasing. “Look at you and your facts.”
“I’ve got more.” I’d been reading the guidebook looking for fun places to take her today. “It’s also famous for mayonnaise. That’s not quite as exciting.”
“I suppose it depends how much you like mayonnaise.”
“Hate the stuff.”
She laughed and stretched her long legs, resting them on the adjacent chair.
I poured her a cup of coffee. “When was the last time you watched a sunrise?”
“I don’t think I ever have. Not like this.”
“Me neither. Why is that?”
She smothered a yawn and hugged her knees to her chest. “Life is busy. It comes at you nonstop.”
I couldn’t argue with that. We sat in silence watching the ever-changing sky. The sun appeared, painting the unblemished countryside in a wash of soft gold. The sky’s purple tones melted to blue and the promise of a new day.
A slight breeze ruffled her hair, and her usually tense features were soft and relaxed.
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her slowly and trace my fingers over all the freckles dotting her cheeks.
I’d have to bring up last night if she wasn’t going to.
Maybe she felt too uncomfortable to address it.
She sighed. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
I snapped my gaze back to the horizon. My voice came out hoarse and strange. “Yes. Beautiful.”
If only I’d thought of this kind of thing when Joanie had asked me about my bucket list. I’d been a thrill seeker when I was younger, but I always had the feeling I was scratching the surface of what I was really looking for.
This was peace. The calm that came with watching every subtle shift in this sky, moment by moment, with this woman.
The simplest pleasures were the ones that slipped so easily unnoticed through your fingers.
“I’d add something to my list if I could.”
Joanie looked at me in surprise. “Besides the camel?”
I sighed. I would never live that stupid camel thing down. “I want to watch more sunrises and sunsets.”
She nodded in agreement and turned her face back to the horizon. “That’s a good one.”
The softness in her voice made my heart pound.
This was fast and different and new, but I’d never felt like this about a woman before.
We’d had the most explosive, incredible sex of my life.
I needed her again, but this time I wanted to take my time and explore her.
Not that this was just about sex. I wanted to feel her bucking and clenching around my cock again, but more than that, I longed to make her laugh and blush and roll her eyes at me.
I wanted to help build her confidence and watch her fly down the pitch with a ball.
I’d buried myself in training and no one had ever put up with that, but maybe it could be different with this woman.
Joanie knew the commitment it took to play at this level.
If anyone could understand my life, it would be her.
She put her coffee down and fiddled with the top button of her pajamas. “Shall we talk about last night?”
At last. I kept my expression as casual as I could. “OK.”
She opened her mouth and closed it again, struggling to find the words. The shifting colors of the sky reflected in her glasses.
“Take your time,” I said.
She gave me a grateful smile and shook her head. “It all happened very fast. We didn’t even have a condom.”
That had been weird for me too. It wasn’t like me to lose my head like that, but at least it was an easy one to change. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight, but I was always going to pull out.”
A flicker of amusement lit her eyes. “That’s very . . . reassuring, thank you.”
“You don’t believe me? Listen, you don’t have to worry. I’m good to go. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got checked out.”
“I’ve seen the women waiting for you in the VIP areas. Casual might be normal for you, but it’s not normal for me.”
“I hear your concerns. I get it, no glove, no love. We can sort that out.”
A laugh burst out of her. “No glove, no love? You make me laugh, Kieran.”
Good. At least I had that in my favor. I’d have to tell her about her dad soon, but not until I’d got her back on my side.
This was a mess. I wanted this woman, but it was going to cost me.
I could kiss goodbye to the World Cup. The fact was, Mortimer had judged me without knowing me.
Maybe if I could speak to him, I could get him to see reason.
I could convince him how much I liked Joanie and that I had no desire to hurt her.
If I told Joanie about this now, it would blow everything just when she was starting to soften.
I reached for her hand and laced my fingers with hers.
“The problem is, you think you know how this ends before it begins. Give me a chance. I promise I’m not going to mess you around.
Just one chance to prove myself. This could be good between us.
I want to keep getting to know you, because I really like everything I’ve seen so far.
I know I’m not an easy person sometimes.
I’m grumpy and impatient and I don’t put up with people’s shit, but if you’ll have me, I can be really good. Just for you.”
I longed to drag her onto my lap and kiss her, but I wouldn’t rush this.
This was a game of two halves. Joanie hadn’t much appreciated me in the first half, but she was warming to me now, and it wasn’t over.
This had to be at her pace. I wanted to make this work when we got home.
I wanted her in my life for the long term. Not just a few days on vacation.
She exhaled a long breath. “I’m not an easy person either. I’ve been so miserable since the injury. I have all this anxiety all the time. This constant churning in my gut. It’s only going to get worse in the buildup to the first game of the season. You don’t want me like this.”
No. I couldn’t hear her talking badly about herself. An ACL tear was enough to make some people quit, and that was understandable. She’d fought to come back. I’d seen her working every day in that gym.
I got out of my chair and dropped to my knees at her feet.
“I want you exactly like this, and you are such an easy person to be around. You’re funny and smart and pretty and kind.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve been miserable or that you’re scared.
Anyone would be.” I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it.
“These are all just streaks in the sunrise. They appear and then they fade. Nothing lasts forever. ACL tears heal. You keep fighting.”
She placed her hand on my cheek, tenderly, and I closed my eyes, leaning into her gentleness.
If she’d let me, I’d take her to the old town today and spoil her.
We’d amble around cobbled streets and maybe take a tour on a glass-bottom boat.
I’d seen a lovely little restaurant in the guidebook that served the catch of the day.
Then back here tonight for sunset. I’d make the next couple of days as fun as I could.
Joanie had been through a rough time lately, and while it was in my power to put a smile on her face, I would.
I opened my eyes to see her peering at me in fascination.
“Whatever you think about me, let me show you I can be good for you.” I took both her hands in mine. “I’m not all bad. I can be a good boy, I promise. Are you going to give me a chance? Can you forget about what you think is going to happen and keep an open mind?”
She raked her hand over my hair and tilted my chin so I’d look up at her. Her expression filled with amused wonder. “You want to be a good boy?”
“Yes, but only for you. Fuck everyone else.”
Sunlight illuminated her face, and the smile that touched her lips took my breath away. “You’ve always been good. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
I wrapped my arms around Joanie’s waist as she gathered the coffee mugs.
She twisted and met my lips with a sweet, drugging kiss that soon turned passionate and breathless.
I slid my hands under her pajama top, desperate to palm her beautiful breasts again.
I whispered in her ear, “Why don’t you go back to bed. I’m going to pop out to the pharmacy.”
“The pharmacy?”
“No glove, remember?”
She took a sharp breath and stepped back. “Oh . . . actually . . . you don’t have to.” Her eyes slipped away. “I don’t think I want to do . . . that again.”
She’d said she wanted to give me a chance. Had I misunderstood? “You don’t? Never again?”
A small smile touched her lips. “Not never again. I just don’t know when. I’m a little sore right now.”
Shit. I should have taken things slower. She’d felt so fucking amazing, it had been difficult to hold back. I took both her hands in mine. “I’m sorry.”