Chapter Sixteen
Clay
“You’re avoiding me,” Tiffany says when I answer my cell Wednesday evening.
I look out the window of the New York City cab, on my way to meet Seth, Victory, Flynn, and Sutton at one of Seth’s restaurants for dinner and imagine my cutthroat agent pacing her office on four-inch heels, her blond hair flowing over her shoulders. “Hello to you, too, Tiff.”
“Don’t Tiff me. I’ve been texting you for days.”
“Didn’t Doogie text you back?”
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Braden. You know damn well Doogie doesn’t get back from the lavish honeymoon you sent him on until next Friday.”
Shit . “Would you believe I’ve been so busy with sponsorships, I totally forgot?”
“ No . I’d be more likely to believe that you’ve been shacking up with a hot young thing you hooked up with in Paris.”
Don’t I wish . But the only woman I’m interested in will once again barely give me the time of day.
“What’s going on with you, Clay?” Tiffany asks. “You’re usually one of my most reliable clients, and suddenly you’re ghosting me.”
It was easier to avoid her calls when I was distracted in Paris, but Tiffany has been my agent for years. She’s one of the best in the business, and she deserves better from me. “I’m sorry for not returning your messages.”
“We need to talk about your extension.”
I rub the knot in the back of my neck. “I’ve had a lot on my mind the last few months. I’m not ready to sign on the dotted line.”
“Finally, a little communication. Thank you. I know you’ve got a lot going on, with Staley chomping at your heels, your shoulder acting up, and the playoff loss. Let’s set up a time to discuss it. That’s what I’m here for.”
“I’m not ready to do that yet. I need you to buy me more time.” The cab pulls over in front of the restaurant. I swipe my credit card to pay for the fare and thank the driver as I climb out of the car.
“Clay—”
“Sorry, Tiff, but I’ve got to run. I just need a few more weeks to figure it out. I’ll be in touch.” I end the call feeling like a dick, but I push that discomfort down deep and put on a winning smile as I walk into the restaurant.
The young hostess’s eyes light up like I’m her favorite candy. “It’s nice to see you again, Clay.”
“You as well, Gretchen.” I scan the dining room, with its elegant candle-style chandeliers and two-story brick walls, and spot Seth and the others sitting at Seth’s usual table in the back by the arched entryways to the bar.
“Melanie should be right back to take you to your table,” Gretchen says. “She was just seating a group.”
“That’s okay. I can seat myself. Have a good night.” As I make my way to the table, hushed voices ring out. Is that Clay Braden? and Is that the quarterback for the Giants?
I didn’t miss this attention in Paris. I smile for the eager fans. I appreciate them, but while I used to get off on being recognized, the lack of privacy has worn thin.
Seth is the first to stand to greet me, sporting gray skinny slacks and one of his nerdy old-man sweaters—a thick olive green with lapels and a patterned orange-and-gray stripe across the lower chest and arms. Like me and our other brothers, Seth is over six feet tall and athletic. His hair is dark and wavy, like Victory’s, but it always looks windblown, while Flynn and Noah have lighter hair, and mine is somewhere in between. Noah will be sorely missed tonight, but we’re a long way from Colorado.
“Bonjour, little brother,” Seth says, tugging me into an embrace. “Here’s to another great season.”
I scoff. “We had a shitty loss.”
“It was a good loss, and we’re all proud of you,” he says.
“We sure are. Welcome back,” Victory says as she hugs me. “Did you miss me?”
“Like a splinter. You look great.” She and Sutton are fashionistas, and dressed to the nines. Like me, Flynn looks casual in a Henley and jeans. I eye Sutton, motioning to Flynn’s collar-length hair. “Get this guy a haircut, will ya, Sut?” I push him out of the way and hug her.
“Never,” Sutton says. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“You, too. You look as beautiful as always. Is my little brother treating you well?”
“Like a queen he wants to fire,” she teases.
“That’s one way to keep the spark alive, bro.”
“Whatever it takes, right?” Flynn embraces me. “Good to see you.”
As we settle in around the table, the waitress takes our drink orders. I wait for her to leave, then say, “Catch me up. What’s going on with everyone?”
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Victory says. “We’ve been waiting for you to get here. We want the scoop on you and Pepper.” She leans forward, folding her arms on the table and looking at me expectantly. “Spill that tea, baby brother.”
They’re all looking at me, eager for details, but I don’t need them dissecting our relationship. And yeah, I know Pepper doesn’t think we have one, but she’s wrong. “We had a great time. She’s an amazing person.”
“She must be,” Victory says. “That was a bold move you pulled, calling Treat to hire his pilot and use his private plane.”
Seth’s brows slant.
“Dude, that’s huge ,” Flynn says.
“Take notes, Flynn,” Sutton says. “My standards have just been raised.”
Jesus Christ . I look at Victory. “How did you find out about that?”
“Noah told me.”
“Fucking Noah .” He called me last week and gave me shit about it. I’d forgotten he was at Treat’s house for dinner the night I called about the plane. “I would’ve called Seth if he had a frigging plane.” In addition to everything else my overachieving brother has done, Seth got his pilot’s licenses a few years ago to fly helicopters and airplanes. He bought a helicopter a year later, but he has yet to choose a plane.
Seth flashes a shit-eating grin. “I’m narrowing it down.”
“You’ve been narrowing it down for three years, you picky bastard.” I shake my head.
“So? Give us the scoop. What’s happening with you and Pepper?” Flynn asks.
“Nothing. She’s back at work in Charlottesville, and I’m here taking care of my own shit.” Or rather, doing what I can to keep my mind off her and my own shit.
“I half expected her to show up here with you tonight,” Victory says.
I wish she were here, but I haven’t even texted her today. I’m respecting her decision, but I miss the connection, and I’m hoping she’ll miss it, too, and realize she made the wrong choice.
“I was hoping she would come,” Sutton adds excitedly. “I’d love to see her again.”
“You know Pepper?” I ask, remembering too late that Dash’s younger sister Andi is Sutton’s assistant at Discovery Hour .
“It’s more like I know of her,” Sutton says. “Amber and I lived in the same house in college, and I met Pepper a few times when she came to visit. From what I remember, she was beautiful, a little quiet, and super smart.”
“She still is,” I say, missing her even more.
“What’s the deal with you two?” Seth asks. “Are you going to see her again?”
“I guess that depends who you ask,” I say as the waitress brings our drinks. She goes over the dinner specials, and we take a moment to order.
When the waitress walks away, Victory says, “We’re asking you .”
It takes me a second to remember Seth’s question. “I’d like to continue seeing her, but she thinks our lives are too far apart, and she says she’s too busy.”
“ Ouch . She turned down Mr. Perfect?” Flynn says. “That’s got to sting.”
“It wasn’t my favorite moment,” I grit out.
“Especially after you got her a private plane home from Paris,” Victory says.
“Do you think it was just a fling for her?” Sutton asks.
“ No ,” I say firmly. “It was more than that. I could feel it, and I know she felt it, too.”
“That sucks,” Seth says. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” I take a drink. “I don’t get it. We connected on every level. It’s never been like that for me.”
“Can I play devil’s advocate for a minute?” Victory asks, but she doesn’t wait for a response. “In all fairness, even if she felt a connection, I understand where she’s coming from. It takes a lot of time and energy to run a business. I can’t imagine trying to fit in a relationship and still run Blank Space. There are only so many hours in the day.”
This coming from our sister who, when she was only twenty-six, fell in love with her boss, Harvey Bauer, who was sixteen years her senior, and would stop at nothing until they were together. They’d married a year later, and Harvey treated her like gold until the day we lost him to a heart attack. If anyone can understand what I’m feeling, it would be her.
“Vic, do you remember what it was like when you and Harvey got together?”
“Like it was yesterday,” she says with a slightly sad smile.
“When you were trying to get his attention, we all tried to talk you out of it, but you were head over heels, bound and determined that he was the greatest love of your life. It turns out he was, and even though you were both workaholics, you made time for each other.”
“Always,” she says. “No matter what was going on at work, we left it behind and had dinner at our favorite restaurant every Friday night like clockwork. Because when you care about someone, you find time for them. Gramps taught me that.”
I happen to know she still has dinner there every week. “Exactly. I know Pepper is as into me as I am into her.” I feel it in my bones. “So, yeah, I’m sure she’s busy, but something isn’t adding up. I think there’s more to it.”
“Do you think she has a boyfriend?” Flynn asks.
“No. She’s not the type to cheat.”
“Wait a second. Are you saying you think she’s the one ?” Victory asks.
Holy shit. Am I?
They’re looking at me with bated breath.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it that way. All I know is, there’s something real between us.”
“I love this for you,” Sutton exclaims. “You’ve been Mr. Cool since I met you, and suddenly you’re hiring a private plane and pining after a woman. I am totally invested. Let’s figure out how to get you your girl. I can talk to Andi, and she can talk to Amber.”
Flynn laughs. “Clay’s own personal cheerleader.” He tugs Sutton into a kiss.
“Thanks, Sutton. I don’t need a cheerleader,” I say. “I just need to figure it out.”
“Is there any chance Pepper is scared?” Seth asks.
“Of what ? We had a great time.”
“Maybe that’s the wrong word,” Seth says so fucking calmly, it’s irritating. He’s always been the king of calm. The voice of reason. “Could she be intimidated?”
“By what ?”
“You,” my siblings say in unison.
I look at them like they’ve lost their minds. “What the hell does that mean?”
Seth levels me with the big-brother stare he’s used since we were kids. The one that says he has something important to say and I need to listen. “You have a tendency to barrel into situations and make things happen the way you want them to.”
“Yeah, because I’m a strategic thinker on my feet. You know damn well I’d never put a woman in a situation she didn’t want to be in. I’m not a prick.”
“Of course I know that,” Seth agrees. “I’m just saying that patience is not your virtue, and that can be intimidating.”
I grind my teeth, knowing he’s right.
“In Clay’s defense, that comes with being a public figure.” Victory turns her attention to me. “But it’s still true. You walk into a room and people take notice, which in part is why you expect to snap your fingers and make things happen. But it’s also who you are. When you set your sights on something, you get tunnel vision and make it happen. Remember how you used to put together football teams overseas?”
“He didn’t even speak the language half the time,” Seth adds.
I smile at the memory. “That wasn’t easy.”
“Nothing easy is worth a damn,” we all say in unison, and then we laugh.
Flynn lifts his glass. “To Gramps and his words of wisdom.” We all drink to the toast.
“What I’m trying to say,” Victory explains as she sets down her glass, “is that laser focus can be intimidating to someone who needs time to ruminate.”
“I’m sure Mom and Dad bringing in coaches for personal training added to that sense of privilege,” Seth says evenly.
“They did shit like that for all of us,” I remind him. “Or did you conveniently forget all that investing crap Dad set up for you when we were kids and living overseas? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but we’re successful because they supported us and taught us that where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
“I agree with you,” Seth says. “I’m just saying there are reasons beyond fame that make you, and the rest of us, who we are.”
“No shit. How does that help me figure this out?”
“Can I say something?” Sutton asks carefully.
“Yeah,” I say, thankful for the breather.
“I don’t think any of you could achieve the levels of success you have if you weren’t overly confident,” Sutton says.
“Exactly my point.” I take a drink.
“That said,” she continues, “Victory is right. You’re a charming, gregarious guy, Clay, and that in and of itself can be intimidating to someone who’s not used to it. If Pepper was avoiding you before Paris, and then suddenly she was in your bed and being flown home on a private plane, that could make a woman’s head spin. When Flynn and I first got together, I was like, What the hell is happening here? Can I trust it? Do I want it? ”
“You wanted it,” Flynn says confidently.
“Yes, I did, but it was confusing. You know that,” Sutton says. “And if Pepper connected as deeply as Clay says, I agree with Vic. She probably needs to process it.”
I grit my teeth, wishing that was the case. She’s not trying to process it. She’s trying to end it. I’m not about to admit that or let Pepper make that mistake. “Maybe all of you are right, but I didn’t come here to analyze my personal life, so can we give it a rest?”
“We’re on your side, Clay,” Seth says.
“Always,” Flynn says.
“I know. I appreciate that, but I’m still processing it, too, so let’s turn the page. What did I miss during playoffs? Flynn, I heard they delayed the debut of Heart Stories by a week. Are you and Sutton excited to see it?” Heart Stories is a monthly series of special-assignment documentaries they’re producing.
“ Yes ,” they exclaim.
“It’s too bad you guys can’t make it to Mom and Dad’s for the debut,” Flynn says.
“Yeah, it sucks. Tiffany’s got me doing a talk at a charity event that weekend, but I’m looking forward to seeing the show.” Seth and I exchange knowing glances with my little white lie. Flynn and Sutton have no idea we’re planning to surprise them at our parents’ house.
“So am I,” Victory says. “Seth and I are going to watch it together. We’re both going to be in LA that week.”
“I’m sorry I can’t be there to watch it with you guys, but I’m excited to see it,” Seth says.
“No worries. We know everyone is busy.” Flynn takes Sutton’s hand and says, “We’re just hoping the viewers will like it.”
“Well, he is,” Suttons says. “I’m hoping they love it.”
“Smartass.” Flynn pulls her into another kiss.
Seeing them so happy makes me miss Pepper even more. “Of course they’re going to love it. Just like they loved the rainforest episodes.” Last year, Flynn and Sutton were tasked with surviving three days in the Amazon rainforest for Discovery Hour , which is where they first got together, and the viewers still haven’t stopped raving about it.
“Fingers crossed,” Sutton says.
“How about a wedding date? Have you picked one yet?” I ask.
“We just settled on one last night,” Sutton says, exchanging a loving glance with Flynn. “We booked the last weekend in June at my family’s winery on Silver Island.”
“That’s great. I’ll get it on my calendar.” I may not know what my future looks like with my team yet, but they don’t need to worry about that.
“I already sent the info to Doogie,” Flynn says.
“Thanks, man.”
“Flynn, I’ll book you and Sutton the honeymoon suite at the Silver House if you haven’t done it yet,” Seth offers.
“Thanks, man. But the Silvers are comping it for us as a wedding gift,” Flynn says.
“That was nice of them. Then I’ll get my buddy T to get the rest of us rooms,” Seth offers.
“Seth, you do realize it’s bizarre to call an assistant you’ve never met your buddy , right?” I ask.
His brow furrows in confusion. “Taylor is my buddy. He’s worked for me for years, and he’s always got my back.”
“Yes, but you’ve never met him or even spoken to him on the phone,” I reiterate.
Seth holds my gaze, unfazed, and takes a drink. As he sets the glass down, he says, “You want him to get you a room or not?”
“Of course. It’ll save Doogie the hassle. I was just pointing out that it’s a little weird.”
Ignoring my comment, Seth looks across the table at Sutton and Flynn. “What time do we need to be there for the rehearsal dinner?”
“We haven’t nailed that down yet,” Flynn says.
“We’re still trying to decide between having it at the Silver House or at Rock Bottom Bar and Grill,” Sutton explains.
“Rock Bottom?” Seth eyes Victory with an amused expression. “Isn’t that the place your boyfriend owns, Vic?”
Victory shoots him a warning glare.
“That’s right ,” I exclaim, remembering the guy who had flirted with her relentlessly when we visited Flynn and Sutton on Silver Island last Christmas. “What was that guy’s name?”
“Wells Silver,” Seth says.
“That’s it. He was definitely into you, Vic,” I say.
“I have a feeling he’d be into any willing woman, and I am definitely not one of them.” Victory takes a drink, eyeing us over her glass.
We’d all like to see her find love again, but that narrow-eyed stare has us falling silent as the waitress brings our meals. Flynn and Sutton share more of their wedding plans as we eat, and before we move on to other subjects, Victory raises her wineglass in a toast. “To Sutton and Flynn for grabbing that brass ring and enjoying every second of happiness while they can.”
I hear the implication she’s drilled into our heads— Tomorrow is not guaranteed —and I’m sure Seth and Flynn do as well, but my thoughts return to Pepper. I wonder if there is more to her decision than just our lives being too far apart or hers being too busy. Could Seth be right? Is she intimidated by me? Our connection is electric, and she was honest about not trusting athletes.
I think about our last night together. Wrists or blindfold, baby? Pepper’s voice whispers through my head. I’ve never done either. Can we try both? The image of her blindfolded, her wrists bound, blooms to life.
You trust me, Reckless .
The question is, do you trust yourself?