Chapter 20
TWENTY
JONAS
Jonas hadn’t heard a thing from Adam since the story had broken. That wasn’t strictly true. He’d ignored a few calls. Only because he suspected his temper would carry him away and he didn’t want to say something he might regret.
Unfortunately being in a Premier League soccer team with Adam made it impossible to avoid him for long. It was a cold morning as they warmed up on the training pitch. The morning frost still glistened in the grass as they weaved in and out of one another.
Jonas met Adam’s eye when he came close.
“Okay, pair up,” Steven shouted. “One touch passing. Fifteen minutes.”
“You and me,” Adam said.
Jonas nodded.
It’s about bloody time.
One touch passing exercises meant just that. Firing to and from each other without losing the ball.
Steven blew the whistle and they began.
“I know I’m not being fair on you,” Adam said as he sliced the ball to Jonas.
“You can say that again,” Jonas replied, kicking it unnecessarily hard. “I knew you would do this. I said it all along.”
Adam masterfully got it under control and softly passed back.
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?”
Thwack.
“Can you give me until Sunday?” Adam asked.
He had to run to get the ball.
“I don’t have much choice, do I?”
Adam passed it straight to Jonas.
“It’s another big match tomorrow.”
“No shit,” Jonas replied a little too loudly. Some of the other lads looked over.
They were playing Canonbury. The fixture that had been keeping Jonas awake. Facing his old club would be difficult enough. Now that he’d become embroiled in this ridiculous affair with Adam, his whole life seemed out of his control.
“Maybe don’t bother with Sunday,” Jonas said. “This has run its course. Don’t you think?”
Adam moved close. His citrus cologne filling Jonas’ nostrils. God he’d missed that smell.
“No I don’t think that at all,” he said. “There’s nothing romantic going on with me and Jen. For now you’ll have to believe me.”
This guy was taking the absolute piss. Yet he had an earnestness about him that Jonas found hard to ignore.
“Sunday,” Jonas said. “I want to talk properly.”
“You got it.”
“Oi! You two. Concentrate,” Javier bellowed.
They resumed passing. Something that Jonas and Adam were particularly good at with each other. It appeared even under the current conditions they still had it.
Training went off without any more incident. Jonas hated taking a back seat to whatever Adam had going on, but he had no choice.
Am I kidding myself?
In the interests of keeping himself busy, he’d offered to host Tito and Noah. The night before a match could be an antsy affair. Tonight was double.
“You okay?” Tito asked.
Jonas had cooked a pasta dish and could barely eat a morsel.
“Of course,” Jonas replied.
He forced a forkful down.
“Is it because we’re playing Canonbury tomorrow?” Noah asked.
“Kind of. It’s shit playing your old teammates. Not that I ever was really one of them. They didn’t like all the advertising campaigns I did.”
Those underwear shots had been directly aimed at the gay male market. Perhaps it was Jonas trying to show the world who he was. Or maybe the millions he’d made had powered him.
Tito crossed his legs on the big chair.
“Doesn’t bother me who I play. It’s not personal.”
“I bet Shaun Riggs will think differently,” Noah said.
Shaun Riggs had played for Brockton for years before leaving in a straight swap for Jonas at the end of the last season. He’d gone under a cloud after clashing with Udo and subsequently the rest of the team.
Jonas hadn’t even considered the effect tomorrow’s match would have on Udo. He made a mental note to message him later.
The rivalry between Brockton and Canonbury stretched way back before any of them were born. It was generational.
“Can we talk about something else?” Jonas asked.
“Sure,” Tito replied. “How about you and Adam?”
Jonas thought his heart had stopped beating for a second. “What?”
“You seemed stressed in training. What gives?”
Jonas glanced at Noah, who watched him carefully. He suspected they’d had discussions before Tito came out with his question.
“Nothing.”
“Let’s examine the evidence,” Tito said, steepling his fingers. “You go on the missing list on the regular. You’re usually bosom buddies. Now you barely even speak. You’ve been like a bear with a sore head for days now.”
Adam would kill him if he told these two. But did Adam Williams always get to call the shots?
Jonas sighed. “Okay, fine. Something happened.”
“No way,” Noah exclaimed.
“I bloody knew it,” Tito added.
“You don’t know anything,” Jonas said.
He put his plate on the side table and got up. The room had become claustrophobic.
“Tell us,” Noah said.
Jonas was desperate to. He had Heidi to confide in. It wasn’t the same as having people in his day-to-day life. People who knew Adam.
“It’s on the rocks,” Jonas said.
“Ever since his ex came on the scene?” Tito asked.
“He was acting weird before that.”
Noah came over to the window and placed his hand on Jonas’ shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Jonas shook his head. “No. Not really. I…I think I love him.”
Now Tito joined them. For once he had a serious expression on his face.
“Is it definitely finished?” he asked.
“I don’t know. He said to give him until Sunday. You two can’t say anything. Promise me.”
Tito folded his arms. “I know I’m a gobshite but I would never tell a soul. You can trust me.”
“And me.”
“I don’t think he doubts you,” Tito said to Noah.
“True,” Jonas replied.
They all burst out laughing.
“So you and the Skipper, eh?” Tito asked. “Is he wild or boring?”
“Tito!”
“I’m only asking a question.”
Jonas shook his head. “Not that it’s any of your business. But he is wild.”
“No way! I thought he’d be shit.”
Jonas made a face which only made Tito laugh harder.
“Are you happy?” Noah asked.
“I was. Not so much now. Everything’s up in the air.”
Tito frowned. “Maybe not after Sunday. We’ll have a PlayStation marathon at mine on Saturday night to take your mind off it.”
“I can’t,” Noah said. “I’m away Saturday night and Sunday.”
“Another mysterious trip?” Tito observed.
“Hardly. I’m going to see Ashley.”
Ashley was Noah’s ex-landlady when he’d been an under-18 player. He spoke about her very affectionately.
“Sorry, Jonas. I’d be there if I could,” Noah said.
Jonas squeezed Noah’s arm. “Don’t sweat it. I can annihilate Lopes single-handed.”
Tito playfully shoved him and went to sit back down. “You wish.”
Jonas took a seat next to him, followed by Noah.
“I don’t know if any of this is going to work out, you know,” he said.
“This?” Noah asked.
“Me at Brockton. I can’t face playing with him if he’s not mine.”
Tito rubbed his chin. “The season isn’t even halfway through. It would be the end of your career if you bail now.”
Jonas frowned. “I suppose you’re right. Fuck. I’m getting life advice from Tito Lopes.”
Tito threw his arm round him. “Aren’t you lucky?”
The crowd roared obscenities at each other as Jonas and Adam met in the centre of the pitch. It was halfway through the second half and both teams had one goal apiece after an amazing score from Colin.
Since then Canonbury’s defence had been like a stone wall. Try as they might, no Brockton player got to the goal.
Jonas glanced at Ingvar, who held the line for Brockton. A determined Noah who’d been playing like a dream next to him.
“Stay close to me,” Adam muttered. “Keep it tight.”
The ball sailed over from Alain. Jonas took control and began his run. Almost immediately two Canonbury defenders were there. He passed it short to Adam who made use of the space to push forward.
In preparation, Jonas forced his way through the opponents to a clear spot.
Before Adam passed, Shaun Riggs body-slammed him. Adam hit the deck with a thud where he remained motionless. Jonas darted forward.
“Are you okay?”
Adam shifted and slowly got to his feet.
“I’m fine,” he said. “Honestly.”
Jonas turned to a clearly amused Shaun. “You are fucking ridiculous,” he shouted.
“Awww don’t tell me you’re shagging one of them now, Williams,” Shaun said.
“Fuck off, Shaun,” Adam replied.
The ref ran over.
“Adam, are you okay?” he asked.
Adam nodded.
The ref focused on Shaun. The Brockton fans roared when a yellow card was held aloft. One more of those and Shaun would be sent off.
“Remember when they all used to cheer you, Shaun?” Adam said, “Now they fucking hate you.”
The grin hadn’t left Shaun’s face. “We didn’t have protestors when I played here. Are you sure it’s me they hate?”
There would be a free kick. Usually, Adam took them. Jonas stepped forward.
“Can I?”
Adam appeared about to argue then retreated.
“Sure,” he replied, taking a step back.
The Canonbury players formed a wall.
Jonas glanced at Ewen to his right then Tito on his left. He could sense Adam and Udo behind him.
For a second, Jonas stared into the eyes of his old teammates. They glared at him. He’d never spoken to them since he left. Now he was playing better than ever. They probably felt betrayed.
I couldn’t give a fuck.
His heartbeat pumped in his ears as he lined the shot up. The stadium fell silent.
Jonas swallowed down his nerves.
The ref blew his whistle.
In a split second, Jonas channelled all the uncertainty and upset of the last few days. He sprinted forward with a power even he didn’t know he possessed. Then he kicked the ball with such power it shot over the heads of the Canonbury defenders.
It went straight past the goalie and into the net. The relief hit him like a truck.
Then the crowd cheered as one.
Jonas was in a daze as his teammates grabbed him, hugged him or patted him on the back. When he extracted himself, Jonas became face to face with Adam.
“That was fucking brilliant,” Adam said.
They had shared goal celebrations before. Now it felt hollow. Jonas thought he might burst into tears at any moment.
“Tomorrow,” Adam said. “I promise.”
Jonas nodded.
The game resumed. Brockton would not give Canonbury a chance to level the score. Much to Shaun’s frustration. He became perilously close to a red card after a filthy tackle on Edi.
Finally the whistle blew. Brockton had won.
As they walked off the pitch, the away fans were screaming at them.
“Haber the traitor,” one shouted.
“Haber the queer,” another added.
“Oi,” a man in the Brockton crowd screamed, “shut the fuck up.”
Jonas wanted to get into the locker room.
“It’ll be gay pride at Brockton next,” an away fan hollered.
“So what?” a woman replied. “We got your cream. You got our shite. Bugger off.”
Jonas caught her eye. She gave him a double thumbs-up.
He winked.
“The tide is turning,” Goran said as he walked next to Jonas.
“You think?”
“You just heard it.”
They were at the tunnel. Jonas waved to the crowd. To his joy a lot of them cheered.
“Perhaps you’re right.”
The clatter of football boot studs filled the air.
“You’re doing press,” Javier shouted to Jonas.
“Ugh,” Jonas said to Goran. “Still at least it will give Adam the chance to get changed and out of here before he has to talk to me.”
“Hey,” Goran replied. “Give him a break.”
Jonas stopped dead. Goran knew something.
“What is going on?”
“I can’t tell you. Hear my words, Jonas. Yeah?”
Jonas watched the goalkeeper stride off to the showers.
What did he mean by that? Something was going on and Jonas was determined to get to the bottom of it.