Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
ADAM
Olive kicked her legs with gusto. The sheer joy as she flexed her limbs written all over her face.
“Are you going to be a footballer like Daddy?” Adam cooed.
Maybe it’s in the genes.
He stared into her blue eyes.
“No matter what happens, I won’t abandon you,” he said. “I promise you that.”
With less difficulty, he fastened the nappy. Each time he got better. He’d barely retched that time.
“What does my lioness in training want to wear today?” he asked as he scooped her into his arms. “We have to make sure she’s looking her best.”
He went through to his dressing room where he’d cleared a space for Olive’s tiny outfits. Jen had brought enough for weeks. Still Adam hadn’t been able to resist the lure of internet shopping.
“This one?” he asked, holding up a pink cord dress.
Olive gurgled.
“No? Okay, how about this?”
He held up a pair of mint green dungarees.
She snuggled into him. A positive sign if ever he saw one.
“A bold choice, mademoiselle,” he said. “And in Brockton’s colours too.”
His phone rang. Interrupting their one-sided conversation.
It was Jen.
“Hey,” Adam said.
“How is she?”
Jen had called every day from Liverpool where she’d gone to stay with friends.
“She’s fine. How are you?”
Jen sighed. “I’m better today.”
He exhaled. The last few calls Jen had been in a state.
“When you’re ready, we can talk about a proper future,” Adam said.
“Give me a couple more days,” she replied. “Are there reporters?”
“Nope. I think we were a five-minute thing. Howard shut them down with a statement.”
“That’s good. Thank him for me.”
Adam hated all this subterfuge. When Javier found out the truth, he’d be pissed that Adam hadn’t told him straight away.
“I’m not pressuring you. I can’t keep her a secret forever either.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll sort my head out and come back as soon as I can.”
“As long as you’re okay. That’s the main thing.”
“Thank you, Adam.”
“Bye.”
He terminated the call. Then he saw that he had a brown mark on his arm.
“Oh God,” he said. “You left Daddy with a souvenir.”
Olive gave him one of her special smiles that made his heart burst.
“You couldn’t care less, could you?”
He kissed her on the forehead before heading to the sink to wash himself. He supposed these were the trials of being a father.
“A father,” he said to his reflection in the mirror.
Once clean, he put Olive in her outfit of choice.
“You’re ready for your public.”
With perfect timing, the intercom went.
“That will be Uncle Goran,” Adam said, hauling Olive into his arms. “And Petar. Look at us having our first play date.”
Goran was coming to mind Olive while Adam went to see Jonas. Dread filled his body every time he thought about it.
He pressed the button and went over to the door. He jiggled Olive in his arms which made her giggle.
“Mummy will be home soon, baba,” he said.
Home? Is that what it is?
He and Jen weren’t going to move in together like a big happy family. That would be too weird. Especially if he rescued his relationship with Jonas.
A big if. Adam had no idea how he to play it when he met Jonas.
He clutched Olive a little tighter. Not watching her grow had become a fear that wouldn’t go away.
To his horror it wasn’t Goran’s car that came up the drive but Ewen’s. There was no point in running into the house. Ewen would have already seen.
“Uh-oh,” he said, kissing Olive’s head. “Looks like the game is up once again.”
Ewen got out of the car. Shock written all over his face.
“What the hell is that?” Ewen asked.
“It’s a baby, Ewen.”
“Don’t piss me around. Why are you holding it?”
“It’s a she,” Adam replied. “And she’s my daughter.”
Poor Ewen appeared ready to pass out. Adam ushered him inside and dumped Olive in his arms.
“What do I do?” Ewen wailed.
“Don’t drop her. You want a tea?”
“No. I want some answers. I only came over for a bloody swim.”
Adam led Ewen into the kitchen. The poor man carried Olive as if she were made of the most fragile china.
“I guess I know why Jen’s staying. Is she here?”
Adam shook his head. “Those photos were the final straw. She’s gone to stay with some friends for a few days.”
“Bastard media,” Ewen said before looking down at Olive. “Ooh, sorry.”
“Relax. She hasn’t discovered her feet yet. I don’t think she’s going to speak any time soon.”
Adam hopped up on a stool at the kitchen island opposite Ewen.
“It suits you,” Adam said. “Just so you know, Goran will be here any minute.”
“I take it he’s met this beauty?”
Adam nodded. “She’s called Olive, by the way.”
Ewen stared at her. “Olive Williams. I like it.”
It occurred to him that she wouldn’t have his name. Jen will have registered the birth by now.
I want her to have my name.
“Skip?”
“She’s pretty amazing,” Adam said, snapping to attention. “She can smile but makes you work for it.”
“Is Jen bad?”
“Not great,” Adam replied. “She’d made her mind up to do it on her own. Then everything got on top of her.”
“Why on her own?”
Adam sighed. “Because she thinks I’m too much of a manbaby to take responsibility.”
Ewen caught his gaze. “She always said you were too immature to commit.”
“Yes I remember, thank you.”
“Sorry.”
Once again the intercom went. He hoped this was Goran and not another teammate coming to use his facilities.
Adam hopped off the stool and went to the machine.
“Goran?”
“That’s me.”
“The door’s open.”
He pressed the button.
“I won’t be letting people in without checking again,” Adam said as he resumed his seat.
“Charming,” Ewen said, turning to Olive. “Your dad is mean. Poor Uncle Ewen only wanted to use the facilities. Hey, have you taken her in the pool yet?”
“I don’t have the special nappies,” Adam replied. “And after the explosion this morning, I’m not risking it without.”
“Gross. Look at you. Changing nappies.”
Adam shrugged. “Nothing to it.”
“Are you ready for this?” Ewen asked.
“I don’t have much choice, do I? And in answer to your question. Yes I am. I can’t explain why.”
Ewen nodded.
The moment shattered with the door opening. Goran came in, carrying a sleeping Petar in his car seat.
“Oh, you’ve already got a babysitter?”
“Not me,” Ewen said. “I can hold her. That’s about it. Anyway, what do you need a babysitter for? We’re off today.”
Goran placed his son on the island and joined Ewen. He chucked Olive under the chin and was rewarded with a smile.
“Nice,” Ewen said. “She only stared at me.”
“She’s probably never seen anything so ugly. So you’ve been busted?”
Adam nodded. “I trust him.”
“Well?” Ewen asked. “Where are you off to? If it’s golf, I’m coming with you.”
Adam caught Goran’s eye.
In for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose.
“I’ve got something else to tell you. If I do, you have to listen and not speak until I say. Promise?”
“You’re scaring me but I promise.”
Adam proceeded to tell Ewen everything that had happened with Jonas. Halfway through he had to insist that Ewen hand Olive over to Goran. He looked as if he might drop her at any moment as his eyes widened.
“Fucking hell, Skipper,” he said when Adam had finished.
“Have I shocked you?”
“Kind of,” Ewen replied. “Anyone with a brain can see there’s something between you and Jonas. Ever since he got a hundred grand out of you. Most of the lads think it’s Jonas fancying you and not the other way around. Does Jen know?”
Adam nodded. “She’s always known I’m bi. And yes, I’ve told her about Jonas. Not that there’s a great deal to tell at the moment.”
“Does he know about Olive?”
“Nope and it’s got to stay that way. For a little while longer.”
Ewen frowned. “Don’t you trust him?”
“I do. As for that loudmouth he lives near, not so much.”
“I agree with that,” Ewen replied. “You think Jonas would blab?”
Adam wanted to fully believe that Jonas wouldn’t and about ninety-five percent of him did. The five percent of doubt made him stay quiet.
“We’re on and off more than a red light in Amsterdam,” Adam explained. “He’ll run a mile if I say my ex turned up with my illegitimate child.”
Ewen frowned. “Jonas doesn’t seem the type to react like that.”
“Oh he has a temper. Believe me. What if he freaks out and needs someone to talk to?” Adam asked. “I can’t risk him knocking on bloody Tito’s door. If Jen doesn’t feel safe here, she’ll go permanently.”
“Keeping him in the dark isn’t fair either,” Goran said. “He’s cut up about it all, you know.”
“I know. I just need to talk to him. Try and stall him until Jen gets back. Once I know she’s stable, he’ll know everything.”
Ewen took Olive from Goran. This time he handled her with much more confidence.
“No time like the present. We can take care of this one. Goran’s on nappy duties and I’ll…well I’m entertainment.”
Adam chuckled. “Thank you. The both of you.”
Adam waited for Jonas in a car park near to his apartments. He didn’t want to risk going there and bumping into Noah or Tito.
His heart fluttered as he rehearsed the speech he’d prepared on the drive over.
It was a miserable grey afternoon. Jonas pulled up alongside him. As ever, Adam’s stomach did a flip at being so close to him.
Jonas got into the passenger side of Adam’s car. His eyes wary and his jawline set.
“Hi,” Adam ventured.
“Hello.”
The words he’d carefully prepared appeared to desert him.
“So?” Jonas said. “You wanted to talk.”
Adam took a breath. “Like I said the other day, something has happened that is massive.”
Jonas stared straight ahead. “Here we go.”
“It’s not what you or the bloody media think it is.”
“Well?”
Here came the big ask. He needed Jonas to trust him implicitly.
“I can’t tell you at the moment.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jonas snarled. “You’ve dragged me out in this shitty weather for this?”
Adam reached for Jonas’ hand, which he immediately snatched away.
“I know we’ve not been together for very long,” Adam said. “Even so, I really care for you Jonas. I need you to trust me.”
“Trust isn’t my strongest suit,” Jonas replied. “Cheating is also a dealbreaker.”
“Fucking hell,” Adam said. “How many times do I have to tell you that it isn’t like that? Why are you so paranoid? At least tell me.”
Jonas burst out laughing. “You have no right to be asking for the truth when you’ve admitted that you’re keeping something from me.”
Great big dollops of rain fell on the windscreen.
“Please look at me.”
Jonas did so.
“I am not cheating on you. I promise.”
Jonas’ eyes filled up. “That’s what my dad said. Then he got that rotten bitch Tuva pregnant.”
“Then what happened?”
Jonas shook his head. “Now isn’t the time to talk about this. I want to know where I stand. Make it simple.”
“I would like to be with you,” Adam replied. “Forever. If you’ll have me. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Jonas shouted. “Is it to do with Jen?”
Adam nodded. “She’s in a bad way. I have to be there for her.”
“Why?”
“Because we have a history. Can’t you understand that?”
“I totally understand. In fact, you should probably get going. She’ll be missing you.”
“She knows about you.”
This stopped Jonas in his tracks. “Really? Well I might as well tell you. Noah and Tito have worked it out.”
Shit.
“Okay,” Adam replied. “I guess it was only a matter of time.”
“More like a waste of time. Listen I’ve got to go. I’m meeting Heidi at the airfield tomorrow and I need to pack. Remember the trip you promised to come on?”
“I…”
“You’re sorry. Yeah I get it.”