Chapter 6
DORI
Jami’s hooked up to tubes and monitors. He could die, and he wouldn’t know how I feel about him. My stomach aches as guilt is eating me alive.
I hope you can hear me.
He’s been motionless as I tell him story after story. It’s enough to break me, but I continue with the one I’ve been focusing on.
“That’s when I figured out you owned my heart. I was so jealous you were taking Allison to homecoming. She told all of us girls she was going to take your virginity.”
I run my thumb over the top of his pale knuckles. “It crushed me. I cried for two weeks because I wanted to be her. I wanted us to be each other’s first.”
His heart monitor is on silent, so I peek at it to see if he’s having any reaction to my story. It remains the same, blipping on the screen in a perfect rhythm.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
I’ve been in his room with him since four o’clock this morning, telling him story after story of times that made an impact on me where he is concerned.
“You brought her over to our house so you could double date with Aiden. I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and see you with her, so I watched you from my bedroom window as you got your pictures taken in the backyard.”
I take a minute to remember the scene, and a smile forms. “You were wearing a dark blue suit with a light blue button-down shirt under your suit jacket. Even from my window, I could see how your outfit made your eyes stand out. You looked so sexy. Even more than ever before.”
I quietly laugh. “When my date showed up, I made such a production about it so you would think I was having the time of my life. I didn’t even want to go with him.”
Still no reaction from Jami. Maybe these moments don’t mean anything to him because they’re not about us. I dig deeper to make him feel our connection.
“Do you remember when we were in college and we would sneak out of class to hike around Horsetooth Reservoir? Those were some of my favorite times with you.”
I trail my fingertips over his heart. “I waited for you to kiss me, but you never did. You would stare at me and hold my hand but never kiss me. Why? You admitted you’ve loved me for years. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
I gaze at his face. He seems at peace. I hope that means he’s not feeling any pain.
“If you had told me how you felt about me back then, I would’ve jumped at the chance to be with you. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t want you, but I thought you weren’t interested in me that way. At least that’s what I told myself.”
I move the covers higher so he stays warm. “I should’ve told you I liked you more than a friend, but I wasn’t brave enough. You could’ve rejected me, and that would’ve been too embarrassing for me. Thinking back on it, I was just an insecure teenager.”
I smooth out the blankets over him. “Maybe you were self-conscious too, but you always seemed to have such confidence. I can’t imagine you were ever unsure of yourself.”
A nurse walks into his room. “Hi. I’m just going to change out his IV bag.”
“Okay.” I sit and wait for her to finish her duties. “Is there anything new I should know?”
“His vitals look good so far. He’s doing better than anyone expected.”
“That’s nice to hear.” I peek down at him. “How long do you think he will be out?”
“He could wake up at any time now. We don’t know for sure when that will be, but he’s responding well to treatment. He probably needs the rest to give his body time to heal.” She hooks a new IV bag to his IV line. “They might have to adjust his pain medication.”
“Why?”
“It’s strong, and sometimes they taper it down so patients have an easier time waking up. It can help determine if he has other issues we’re unaware of right now.”
“So he won’t wake up because of his pain medication?”
“He could still wake up. It might just take a while on the amount he’s receiving, but they’ll wait to determine if changing the dose is necessary. Right now, his comfort is more important.”
I nod, acknowledging her answer. “Is talking to him harmful to him?”
“No. I’m sure it consoles him on some level.”
I run my palm over his cheek as she completes her task. She leaves the room, and I take his hand in mine.
I kiss it and inhale, trying to memorize everything about him. “The nurse said you probably need the rest, but I’d love to see your baby blues soon, so don’t take too long, okay? I miss you too much.”
His monitors remain the same. My chest squeezes, fearing I’ll never get to look into his eyes again.
I place his hand back on the bed. “What story should I tell you next?”
There’s a knock on the open door. “Hey there. Is it okay if I join you?”
I turn toward the opening where Melanie stands. “Of course. I’m sure Jami would love it if you came in and gave him some of your charm.”
“You know he would.”
I show her a gentle smile.
She hands me Jami’s phone. “You left this in the waiting room last night. I thought you might want it.”
“Thanks.” I take it from her. “I’ve got to figure out how to get a hold of his staff. They’re probably wondering about him.”
“We’ll figure something out together.”
“Okay. I appreciate that. I’m having a hard time knowing what to do.”
“Try not to put so much pressure on yourself.”
“How do I do that?”
She shrugs and pulls up a chair next to me.
She looks at Jami. “Hey, big guy. It’s time you open your eyes. You know why? Because we have your phone, and I’ve figured out your passcode. I’ll give you until noon, but if you stay asleep even a second over, I will open it and read all your messages.”
I almost laugh, but then I realize she could be serious. “Is that true?”
She winks. “Every last word.”
We wait for a reaction, but Jami remains still.
Mel sighs, leans over, and hugs me. I let her hold me for a full minute so I don’t fall apart. Her comfort gives me much- needed warmth.
She pulls away. “What’s the word?”
“They said he could wake up at any time. He’s on a powerful painkiller, so it may take a while. If it takes too long, they’ll adjust the medication, but they say he’s doing better than they expected. It’s a waiting game at this point.”
“That’s great news, Dori.” She glances over her shoulder. “I couldn’t help but notice the two guys waiting outside his room. Are they security people?”
“Yeah. Hunter got permission from the hospital to station his own guys out there.” Guilt tightens around my heart. “Mel, this is all my fault.”
“I’m not going to do this with you. It won’t help, and it won’t change anything. The best thing to do is just keep talking to him so he knows you’re here.”
I scan over him and my soul aches. “I’ve been doing that, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.”
“It is. You’ve got to believe that. That’s all you can do.” She stands and walks to the window. She waits a few beats and then turns my way. “I gave my notice to Jonah on Friday.”
My eyes fall shut. I do not want to face the fact she’s moving, but I’m done being selfish.
I open my eyes and force a smile on my face. “That’s great news, Mel. I’m happy for you.”
She raises her brows. “Really?”
“I truly am.” I swallow my self-serving tears. “How did Jonah take it?”
“Let’s just say things got a little personal.”
“I bet. Tell me about it.”
“He asked me how long I’ve been planning on moving. When I told him I applied before Thanksgiving and knew on Christmas break, he accused me of breaking up with him so we wouldn’t get closer.”
“He’s got a point, Mel. ”
She bites her lower lip. “He thinks if I would’ve stayed with him, I would’ve changed my mind about moving.”
“Is he right?” I try to get a read on her.
She glances off to the side and shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe, but it doesn’t matter because I made my decision. I’m not staying here just to date him and stay with you.”
“What do I have to do with it?” I rest back in my chair.
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, Dori. You’re my best friend. I’d stay here for you over any man. You have to know that.”
I place my palm on my heart. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”
“Yeah, I do. That’s why I said it.”
I can’t help but laugh. “What am I going to do without you?”
Her expression grows serious. “That’s a good question. What are your plans now that this happened?”
“I’m going to help Jami recover. Anything he needs, I’m going to be there for him.” I take his hand. “He needs me more now than ever, and I won’t let him down. Not now, not ever again.”
“So where does that leave Hunter? You told me last week you were willing to stand by him and help him if the baby turns out to be his.”
Her words cause an ache to vibrate through me. I don’t know how to answer her question. There are more critical things to focus on than my relationship with Hunter.
I adjust Jami’s covers around him. “Did you know it was Jami’s birthday yesterday?”
She gasps. “Uh, no. Why didn’t he tell me? Doesn’t he know that calls for mandatory drinks, especially since it landed on a Friday night?”
“Right? He has a hard time understanding your rules.”
She strides over to the bed and gets close to his face. “Jamison Stone, you will not be let off the hook for this. Once you are out of the hospital, you’re required to go out to celebrate.
“And I’ll even pick up the check. I have this awesome job in Miami that pays well, so I can afford to get you back for all those times you paid for me.”
His hand twitches. My eyes widen, and I check the heart monitor. It remains blipping at the same rhythm, but I know it’s a sign he’s waking up.
My breathing speeds up. “Mel, he moved. His hand moved when you said that.”
“Damn straight it did. He knows better than to blow me off.” She stands tall and looks down at him. “That’s it, big guy. Just open your eyes, and we’ll be squared away.”
We stare at him, but nothing happens, so we settle in and wait.
After an hour, Melanie glances over at me. “Dori, I can feel you shaking from here. What’s going on?”
“I think I’m having a panic attack.” I get to my feet and stalk to the window. “This situation has my brain a scrambled mess.”