Chapter 6 #2
She joins me by my side. “Jami’s going to be alright. He won’t leave us.”
“It’s not just that, Mel. My life is spinning out of control. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been. If Jami weren’t in the hospital, I think I’d be hiding out in my loft trying to get my mind right.”
“Don’t you dare go MIA.”
“I won’t, but everything in me wants to take him away and hide because I can’t get my thoughts straight. ”
“Call Samantha now and schedule an emergency therapy session.”
I consider it for a moment and then pull my phone out of my pocket. “What if she can’t see me?”
“Then I’ll stay with you until she can. The last thing any of us need is for you to run off and go silent.”
“I know. Let me call her real quick and see what she says.” My hand shakes as I call Samantha. Luckily, she has time available for a video session.
As I trek back to Jami, I address Mel. “Samantha can meet with me in an hour. Will you wait here with me until then?”
“Of course. How can I help?”
“Tell me about your move. Or anything. I don’t care what it is. Just talk about anything to help me focus on something other than my confusing thoughts.” I lean over and move a lock of hair from Jami’s forehead.
Mel takes a seat next to his bed. “I’m ready to go to Miami. All that’s left to do is finish my packing and let the movers do the rest.”
I lower into my chair and sit. “Are you driving there?”
“No. I’m shipping my car so I can fly out early and find a place to rent. I’m currently set up in a vacation rental near my office.”
“It sounds like you have everything worked out.”
“Pretty much.”
Mel helps me stay calm by discussing various topics until it’s time for my appointment. I set up my computer on the far side of the cafeteria and connect to Samantha via video.
My security guy, Trey, stands at the entrance of the area and pretends to be waiting for someone as he keeps an eye on me.
Samantha appears as soon as the session feed is live. “Hi, Dori. I saw you on the news, so I can only imagine what you’re going through. ”
“Thanks for seeing me today.”
“Of course. Let’s dive into how I can help.”
My heart thumps wildly. “I’m having a hard time processing my thoughts. I don’t want to make a terrible decision and hurt people for no reason.”
“What does that mean?”
“Jami’s in the ICU and his prognosis isn’t clear, but I know he’s going to need me. I’m all he has. Well, he has Chuck, but he’s older and has had some health issues. He’s not in a place where he can step up and help.”
“Why is that bothering you?”
My throat tightens. “Hunter just got back in town, and I know he’s doubting me. And he has every right because I’m doubting myself.”
“Back up, Dori. Let’s take this one issue as a time.” Her eyes narrow in on me. “What’s causing you confusion around Jami?”
“Right before Jami was shot, he was begging for another chance. I thought since my life was here and he had an opportunity to make his dreams come true in Miami, the least selfish thing I could do was to let him go. But now...”
“Now what?”
“I can’t lose him. He has no one and… I don’t want a life without him in it.”
She writes something down on a pad of paper. “But you’re with Hunter and having doubts about that decision?”
“Yes. I know when we talked last, I thought it was best to let Jami go so I could help Hunter through this thing with Isabella, but I don’t know how I can now.
“I don’t want to hurt him when he’s tried so hard for me, but when I close my eyes and let my heart go where it wants to go, I only see Jami’s face.”
“How do you feel about Hunter right now?”
I shift and glance up at Trey. He’s looking right at me. My cheeks heat as if he can hear my conversation .
I focus back on the screen. “Hunter’s wonderful. He’s done everything he can to better himself, and it was all for me. I love him for that.”
“It sounds like you could be confusing obligation or guilt for love.”
I sit with that for a minute, blinking and at a loss for words. I’ve felt like that before but never thought about it much. It has my mind whipping around like it’s in a dust storm.
She nods. “We can come back to that. Why don’t you tell me what Jami’s condition is now?”
“He’s still in the ICU and it’s a day by day thing. I can’t walk away from him when he needs me. He has nobody, and Hunter has an entire family to help him through this issue with Isabella.”
“Dori, when we last spoke, you weren’t sure about staying with Hunter. You ended the session by saying you thought it would be hard to be with him if this baby turned out to be his.
“Is your confusion because of Jami’s condition and what he needs, or is it because Hunter could be the father of another woman’s child?”
“It’s both. I don’t want to be selfish anymore. I want to stop hurting people I care about.” My chest aches. “How am I supposed to make everyone happy in this situation?”
Samantha stares at me with a look of resolve. “Your job isn’t to make everyone happy. Your job is to take care of your mental health and deal with your problems with integrity.”
“But I’m going to hurt someone, and I don’t want to.” I shift in my chair as my nerves spike.
“You say you love both men.” She pauses. “The only way you stop hurting them is to make a decision and stick to it.”
“How do I do that without hurting someone in the first place?”
“With your situation, there’s no way around it. So the question is, what do you want? A life with Jami or a life with Hunter?”