22
MICKY
In total, we spend two more nights at Molly’s. With encouragement from us, Dad convinces Lara that he is genuinely regretful. She agrees to go on a two-week vacation to Jamaica to give them the time and space to sort things out.
Dad asks us to wait until they’ve left for the airport before we move back into our home, which we’re happy to agree to. Even though we have done nothing wrong, we all feel awkward as hell about coming face-to-face with Lara. It sounds stupid, but I know I’d want to apologize to her on my dad’s behalf.
We arrive in the late afternoon with our few possessions clutched in our hands. As Sebastian opens the front door and we step inside, I get the same feeling as when we’ve been away for a two-week vacation. Everything looks the same, but there is an awkward sense of unfamiliarity.
Ellie’s car is in the driveway, confirming she’s home, and even though we’ve had long discussions about what happens next, we are unsure how things will play out.
Music emanates from the kitchen, so we leave our bags in the hallway, glancing at each other, seeking confirmation of our next step, before we make our way through.
When Ellie spots us, she stops grating cheese onto her pasta and stares without smiling. The unfamiliarity extends to our stepsister, too.
“Hey,” I say, wanting to break the ice as quickly as possible, needing to see the same warmth and affection in her eyes as before.
“If you’re looking for your dad, he left already,” she says, dropping her gaze so that she can focus on the cheese grating again. It feels like she’s using it as a distraction so that she doesn’t have to look at us. My stomach twists into an uncomfortable knot.
“We know,” I say. “He called to tell us the plans.”
“A luxury vacation to bribe my mom,” she says, still staring at her meal.
Colby, who’s chosen to stand leaning against the wall near the door, clears his throat. “That isn’t what it is, Ellie. It’s a chance for them to spend time together.”
“They could have spent time together here.” Ellie waves the grater in a circle, spraying tiny fragments of cheese over the counter and onto the floor.
“With the four of us standing around watching?” Seb steps closer and smiles cautiously, expecting Ellie to be amused by the picture he just painted.
“Throwing money at an emotional problem is just masking the issues.”
“Isn’t it up to them to decide what to do about problems in their own marriage,” Colby says.
“It’s a good thing,” I interrupt, already feeling the old tension between Ellie and my brother bubbling. None of us wants it to boil over, especially now. “They should take some time away. They haven’t been on vacation for over a year.”
“Men are all the same,” Ellie says dryly. “They always let you down when you need them.”
“That’s a little harsh.” I try to keep my tone soft to diffuse some of Ellie’s tension, but it doesn’t seem to work. “Dad made a mistake, and he’s trying to make things right, but that doesn’t mean you can tar half the world’s population with the same brush.”
“Can’t I?” Turning to toss the grater into the sink, we get a full view of our stepsister’s rigid posture. I don’t know what I expected from our reunion, but it isn’t this. At worst, I imagined her regretting what we did at Molly’s motel. At best, I was hoping she’d sink into our arms and seek reassurance, which we’d be more than happy to give.
Taking her bowl of pasta, she starts towards the door, finished with the conversation.
Colby won’t let her have the last word, though.
When he blocks her exit, there’s a stare-off of epic proportions. I marvel at how she handles herself with such confidence, even though she’s half the size of him. “We’re not to blame for our father’s mistake,” Colby says slowly. “And just because he betrayed your mom doesn’t mean that we will do the same to you.”
“To me?” she cocks her head to one side. “You won’t do anything to me because the dares are over now. We’re finished.”
“Finished?” Colby steps forward, looming over Ellie, but she doesn’t flinch. “Oh, we’re not finished, Princess. We’re only just starting.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, turning to find Seb and me in the room, eyes scanning our faces for answers.
“I mean, you don’t get to just fuck us and leave us, Ellie. We’re not allowing you to push us away like you usually do before we can get close.”
“That isn’t what I do,” she says quickly, her lips tugging into a grim line.
“Of course it is.” Colby reaches out to touch a strand of her hair, looking at it intensely. He folds in his bottom lip in the way that Hollywood heroes do in romance movies, as though he’s remembering how she tastes. “Even Dornan admitted that’s your MO.”
“Dornan?”
“Just admit you liked it,” Colby says as Seb moves closer.
“Just tell us what you want,” Seb says.
I decide to get in on this conversation and take it to a less confrontational place. This is about more than sex and desire. This is about feelings. Maybe my brothers aren’t comfortable acknowledging it, but I am. “Just tell us how you feel,” I say softly, knowing full well that I’m asking Ellie the toughest question.
“I feel nothing,” she says. “Other than pissed off that you’re not listening to me.” When she steps back, Seb crowds her from the behind, restricting how far she can move. We have her penned in, but I’m still unsure if the flush creeping over her cheeks is arousal or fury. With Ellie, those two emotions seem intrinsically linked.
“Oh, you feel something,” Colby says.
“It’s okay to admit it,” Seb adds. “Because we do too.”
“We do,” I blurt. “We don’t want to walk away from this, even though there are a million reasons right now that say we should. Doesn’t that tell you something, Ellie? Can’t you see how much we’re willing to put aside for what we have between us?”
“You’d risk fucking up our parents’ marriage for good because that’s what will happen if they find out about this.”
“So we keep it a secret,” I say, raising my hand when Colby looks as though he’s planning to interrupt. “We keep it a secret until they’re in a better place, and then we take the heat - and there will be heat - because this is worth it.”
She blinks, still clutching the pasta bowl close to her body like a shield. Her face, although flushed, is impassive, and I can’t tell if I’ve gotten through to her. So I do what I vowed I wouldn’t do.
“I dare you to have a relationship with us.”
Colby and Seb stare at me as though I’ve broken a cardinal rule. I know this isn’t the right thing to do. We’re at a juncture where Ellie should be willing to take a step toward, but she’s not ready, and I’m not willing to risk things falling apart.
“You can’t dare me to do that,” she says softly.
“Can’t I?” I raise my eyebrows and move closer, looking down at the dark-eyed girl who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on her. She has no idea how far I’d go to keep her in my arms and in my bed.
“Sex is one thing, but relationships need a whole lot more. Dares don’t work when it comes to love.”
“The dare won’t make the love, Ellie. I know that. But maybe it’ll give you enough time to see that we mean every word we say.”
“You’re daring me to fall in love with you?” she asks, looking between us all. Her wide eyes remind me of Bambi’s, innocent but also fearful.
“I’m daring you to let yourself go and see what you feel,” I say, taking the pasta bowl, easing it from her clenched fingers, and placing it on the countertop.
Her shoulders lower as we move closer, taking places around her like three points of a triangle, with Ellie at the center. I take her right hand, and Colby takes her left. I bring it to my lips, kissing it softly. “It’s okay,” I whisper, knowing she needs to hear it. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
When she collapses into my arms, I wrap her up against my chest and let her cry. It’s like a dam has burst, and every emotion she’s been bottling up comes rushing out. Colby’s worried, and Seb is confused, but I nod, knowing this is part of Ellie’s healing process. She has a lot to let go of, and we have show her that between the three of us, we will create a safe space for her. We can’t let her down. Not ever. Because if we do, there will be no doing back.
Not even a dare could fix it.